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+--- Thread: Moonspear you are to me like a very, very wild thing (/showthread.php?tid=37240)
you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Alya - October 24, 2019
After catching up with Nikai, Alya sought out @Hydra. Even though she felt assured of her sister's love and forgiveness, she still couldn't help feeling anxious about how long she had been gone. She had duties here at Moonspear, and had not been explicitly asked to seek out information on the quaking that'd wracked the wilds. Nor did she had much information that would be of use to her family, so she couldn't help but feel the trip had been wasted, even if roaming once more had restored something in her that had been lying lost and dormant.
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Hydra - October 24, 2019
Much had unfolded in her sisters absence, and throughout it all Hydra yearned for her presence. How she would have loved Alya at her side the day they gave chase to feed their own, and how she would have loved more for she, Alya, and Lyra to hunt as they had in their youth for those that may seek to harm those within their fold—
She was thankful for their connection to know that she was well within the wilds and had not come to harm as she had long ago. But Alya was wiser now, as she herself was; Hydra knew her sister was a woman who lived and learned as few others seemed to. But the Queen missed her while she was gone; in the meantime, she worked with @Nikai when she could to ensure he could hold his own upon three legs well enough not to meet an easy defeat should any seek to come against them.
Her mirror image had heard her arrival, but had left her to reunite with her husband. Hydra knew Alya would come to seek her soon, but she was not altogether prepared to feel the relief she felt upon seeing her. Hydra cared not for the length of the absence, only that she was well and returned! The Queen headed toward where they frequently haunted without real conscious thought, moving to drink from the waters that lingered before their cave decorated with an assortment of skull and bones around—and within—it.
Hydra lifted her head and peered over her shoulder, ears pricked as she sought her reflection.
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Alya - October 24, 2019
And there she was, in the lair they'd favored since they were smaller than the skull Alya carried now. She set it down carefully before her sister-queen, setting a paw atop the gristly surface. "I brought you a present," she said, but the joke fell a bit flat as she moved around it to embrace her mirror image. "I missed you," she said into Hydra's fur, forgetting all the strange thoughts that she'd had while she was away.
It took a moment, but soon enough, their hearts beat as one once more. She breathed out a sigh of relief and drew back, looking tired and bedraggled and a still a bit guilty.
"I assume you know about the shaking," she reported in a somewhat dull tone. "It's everywhere, for weeks in every direction. Large prey seems to have fled entirely, even in the valleys that lay furthest from us. Things seemed to have calmed down, but it's clear that there are far-reaching consequences to the devastation. The very earth seems to be changing shape, in some places."
She eyed her sister keenly, wondering what she thought of all this, or if any of it was news to her.
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Hydra - October 24, 2019
She swung around upon seeing her there, a breath of relief falling from her lips to see that she was unharmed, though a little skinnier than normal. Hydra was glad to have plenty of food here for her sister to restore herself with—her eyes then drifted toward the gift Alya deposited upon the earth. Her gaze lingered upon it for a moment until Alya bridged the gap between them, and Hydra released the breath she had been holding as her sister spoke to her—
I missed you. Hydra held her there a moment, having felt the very same; her tongue swelled with the words, and when she felt their heartbeats synchronize Hydra spoke what Alya surely already knew:
I have missed you, too,she rejoined, nosing her sisters cheek. Though Alya had been gone longer than expected, Hydra imagined it was largely due to all the chaos around them. She had thought to ask, but did not need to; Alya, as ever, read her mind.
Hearing the news caused her to frown. While Hydra knew for certain of things happening here she had not been certain how far the reach was. Moonspear had been safe, so she had not considered moving—but she did wonder about the prey.
I only know of the shaking here,she admitted, glad for the knowledge Alya brought only to know for certain that other landscapes fared no better than the Wilderness.
Have you seen any indication of prey migration? Where they might linger now? Things have been becoming scarce,she revealed,
there was a great many moose that stampeded through the Wilderness, but only one was felled; we still have plenty in the caches, beyond that, but winter comes,Hydra sighed. They had lost their parents, and now this! She had led for all of her life, but to be at the helm and not have the guidance of her elders...
Hydra could only do her best, and believe that this would be enough.
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Alya - October 24, 2019
Alya gave a mute shake of her head, ears flicking back in worry, for a moment. She listened to all of Hydra's questions and concerns before answering, sorry to bring this news but glad, somewhere deep down, that the information she brought was at least of some use to her sister. It told her there was no hope anywhere else, either, at any rate.
"They've all but disappeared," she said in a low voice, not wanting her voice to echo and carry from the small cave. "There are murmurs, in some corners of the wilderness, that they've been taken into the earth somewhere. But wolves are travelling from outside our wilderness to it -- there is no food outside of our reach, either."
That was, at least, of some consolation to Alya. If she wasn't eating, at least no one else was having more than her. She allowed that to sink in for a moment before suggesting, rather dryly, "We may need to start being more stringent about who we accept into our ranks. Take only the elite, and eat the rest. But we will see what we can survive on. It would be a shame if it were to get out, lest that become our reputation. Fear can lead wolves to drastic measures. You remember how Blackfeather was reviled by the rest of the wilderness." Lately, they seemed to have descended into anonymity.
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Hydra - October 24, 2019
She did not believe those rumors herself; she knew prey sensed danger, but then, where else could they have gone? If wolves were coming here from lands beyond in search for food what other answer could there really be? Still... Hydra did not want to think that way. More likely they had gone somewhere underground themselves; that was worth investigating.
Hydra listened to her sisters advice, ambivalent about the words; she agreed with them, truth be told. If it came to it, Hydra had no issue in eating any and all dead things they found, wolf or not. Hydra had begun to think much the same way, in any event, about wolves they might let into their ranks. Weak did not seem wise; it would waste their stores on those not among their ranks who had long since earned their keep. They were not a sanctuary.
It might,Hydra drawled, considering,
but then, we would survive. We will do what is necessary when it comes down to it,with a sigh. Trespassers would be devoured for certain; meat would not be wasted. Her gaze shifted to Alya, and she hummed,
We have allies in our neighbors, the Nightwalkers. I feel like you might enjoy them; they remind me some of Blackfeather, though... not so principled,or well trained, either; their work could be messy,
and then there is one wolf who is trying to claim Neverwinter Forest—Dirge says he is mouthy. Maybe we should eat him,she quipped, grinning wickedly.
She had missed her; she had missed this. She felt a reawakening; a part of her stirring that her sisters ever evoked, but that always existed within.
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Alya - October 24, 2019
quick phone post!
The intelligence had been delivered, and Alya had offered her counsel. It was now up to her queen what would be done with it. Here and now, everything seemed as it should be.She was interested in the news about their closest neighbors, and especially about the leader Dirge had called mouthy. "Shall I go and pay my respects?" she asked with a toothy, humorless smile. "After settling back in, of course."
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Hydra - October 24, 2019
Hydra smirked at her sisters words, ears leaning forward as she considered for a moment before saying,
...I think we both should. @Lyra, too,she added,
after all, I have not met him. I would like to see him,she decided. Thinking back on her sisters words, @Tywyll came to mind; he had not been among them for very long, but he had made her a promise.
A wolf not elite in body is our Omega, at present—to be among us, to live, he has promised me anything—everything. Time to find out if he is an honest man,and if he would give chase with them! Fight, eat—whatever the meal might be. And if he was not the sort he had said, well, she and her sisters might end up with two courses rather than one. And if he was, perhaps Tywyll would be fed again—this time, fresher meat ideally. She had high hopes for the Omega, though—what would he do to survive, thrive?
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Alya - October 24, 2019
That sounded pleasant. It had been a long while since she and her sisters had haunted the wilds together, inspiring awe and terror on the wolves of the valley floor. It was not, however, an activity she thought Nikai would approve of, somehow. He was so good and sweet, and his family had been broken up at such a young age by such violence...
But this was the way of the wilderness, she reminded herself. This was power, and power was the only thing that protected her from losing the rest of her family. From losing him. Weilding power over the other denizens of their realm would keep her little niece and nephews alive. One day, it might keep her own children alive.
"I look forward to it," she said sincerely, moving back to the dry elk skull and shifting it carefully into place among many others. The antlers were the real find; Alya wondered if they might make good chew toys for future generations. "Perhaps, with the famine that is sure to follow this mass exodus..." she trailed off, sounding uncertain. "I've been wanting to have pups of my own for a while, now. But maybe it's not the right time."
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Hydra - October 26, 2019
Hydra and Alya thought the very same. It had worked for them throughout all of their lives; they protected those they loved with force, as anything else seemed to be taken advantage of. They had showed kindness in not chasing that mouthy boy from where he stood when they very easily could have; he remained still. Perhaps there was food there; they would find out.
Her gaze shifted to the object Alya had found; the additional decoration did well to fill the previously empty space. It turned back to her twin at the mention of famine; she thought on that for a minute when she brought up children. By extension, more sisters and brothers for her own litter to come... which in truth she had not thought of, given all that was occurring around them. But now she did; a light, in this bleak and dreary time.
The food should return,Hydra hoped, frowning,
and whatever food there may we will find and claim for the mothers to be. You among them, if you wish for children,Hydra moved to nose her sisters cheek, heart filled with joy at the thought. She forewarned,
it may be difficult, though; pregnancy makes you hungrier. Crave the strangest things at the most peculiar times. Perhaps you will be fortunate with a late heat, as I had been—and the food will have returned,she hoped so! For the both of them. Hydra feared for her own heat if things continued on this way, and if prey remained gone. How could she sustain the life within if there was no sustenance?
After a beat, Hydra looked to her sister and said fiercely:
all the more reason to drive that forest wolf away. And there is another that wishes to settle in the weald; I will advise her to go elsewhere,the latter had the privilege, here and now, of Hydra's positive regard for advisement to come before force. But that force would be inevitable, should Andraste not mark her words.
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Alya - October 26, 2019
This was true; the food should return. There had been a famine around the same time as their own birth, and she and her sisters had not been touched by it. Or perhaps they had; perhaps their teeth and hearts had been carved by it, and that was why they were thrice as bloodthirsty as their parents, who were — who had been — formidable in their own right.
"Perhaps the strong do not die before their time," she said quietly, not quite sure about the sentiment. She thought of Ran and then of Galaxy and wondered — but there was no easy answer to that question. She thought of how easily she could have been felled by the mountain lion in her own youth, but how Dash had been taken instead. "I would die if it meant our children would live," she decided after a moment, and it was clear by her tone that this statement was meant to trump the supposition she'd voiced a moment before.
Alya flashed her teeth at Hydra. "But we have already seen that the three of us are difficult to kill." And that was that; pups would come just as easily as famines did. They would survive it, or they would not.
"But enough of that — what else has been happening? Who is this omega? And the wolf from the weald."
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Hydra - October 26, 2019
Hydra listened to her sisters supposing and hmm'd quietly to that. Perhaps. Hydra had forgotten entirely of Ran, but had known Galaxy not to be the strongest of wolves... physically, or mentally. She had taken Vela's taunts to heart too quickly and had ignored food for a long time before listening to Hydra herself advising her to eat. Alya's words were true enough, but then,
yet somehow, the very weak can keep living,she shook her head to that thought. She spoke, really, of one individual—
And she looked to Alya then, remembering.
Lyra thought she saw him. The wolf who had killed Galaxy. This time,she said,
if we see him, he dies. For good. Forever,she drawled. Towhee had thought him dead; somehow, he lived. How she would never know; yet he defied most possible things. Hydra did not think they needed to look; she was near certain he would make another mistake. He was good at that.
Hydra wished Lyra had told her then; he might have tasted better than moose. But she knew that the moose would feed her children better than he ever could.
Her heart veritably tore to hear Alya speak of her own death so; it took her breath away to hear it, and the pain it caused to hear it was second to none.
For our children to live, you must live,Hydra breathed, and thought as much for more reason than one. Nevermind her own life; Hydra could not see it without Alya, did not think she ever could. She could not say as much, dare not—but she knew she felt the same. Had seen it, the fear of it at least, the day their parents were found dead. Hydra drew nearer to Alya and pressed against her again to feel their hearts ring together, so that she would know, if ever there was a doubt, that Hydra would see to her own end before she saw her sisters find theirs—
A mutually assured destruction, so to speak. Hydra knew it went without saying; they were one and the same, after all.
Withdrawing in time to see the flash of teeth, she sobered and grinned. They did what they must, the three of them. Survived, and thrived for it. Past every betrayal, past every hurt, they overcame; conquerors of all that life threw at them. They would conquer this famine, too; Hydra would make sure of it! It was what made her so savage a creature; survival. She would always see to it that they did that, at least, no matter how it was done.
Who was the Omega?
Tye,she informed, ears twitching.
He was weak and hungry when he came; but there was something within him that can be used to our advantage. Not only this, but these are frustrating times; it will be good, to have him, for morale,she drawled, considering.
Find him and see what you think. Perhaps my children have made me softer, you would tell me, wouldn't you?She queried, gentle and saccharine and playful as she asked; she would sooner oust him if he was useless than keep him. But when she saw potential, she hoped to see it through. Never try, never know.
As for the woman of the weald, Hydra sighed.
She seems fickle. I do not know that she would be a good reliable ally to begin with. She has abandoned her own children, and for that alone, I know she cannot be trusted; ah, well, the truth of it is, I have long since decided she would not be of use to me, but she has amused me,she said sighingly,
and she has been helpful, too. Her name was once Aurewen, but since being struck by lightning, she has taken to the name Andraste... anyway, as how she has been helpful, well, she has given me the knowledge that there are other murderers in our midst...and here she gave the same description Andraste had given her of Caiaphas and Merrick, who once Hydra had supposed to be Titmouse.
Giving a look to Alya, she drawled,
and Lyra—Lyra detests her. Andraste looks to feel the same; she refused her help for a time, after being struck by lightning and returning here. Truthfully, that too gave me my answer,she said with a laugh. Hydra respected the opinions of her sisters mirror images above any other; to be on the bad side of one was to be on the bad side of all. Andraste had better uses than mince-meat, however; still, it would appear she had an expiration date.
It was coming up due.
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Alya - October 26, 2019
"I'm very good at it," Alya appeased, giving Hydra a comforting lick on the cheek. They sat together, and Alya began to groom her queen in hope of receiving some help getting her own coat back in order; there had been no time on the road, and she was looking a little worse for wear.
Tye. Alya's notched ear flickered in acknowledgement as she filed this name away, and made a note to go and meet him herself. If Hydra had accepted him, he must have some sort of promise, right? Although she had known her sister, at times, to be a bit sentimental and indulgent. She did not say this, however, because the most notable example was currently her sister's mate. An alpha and king, but not to Alya. No, she answered only to her sister, these days.
"Lyra has love for very few," said Alya, her voice wry with amusement. Thus far, Andraste seemed like the more contemptible figure, even if based only on the grounds of her sisters' good opinions. Lyra was a hateful creature, but Alya had never had a problem hating the thing she hated right alongside her, if only for solidarity's sake. But the abandonment of her children was the real crime. Alya felt no emotional reaction to this information, because she cared nothing at all for the woman's runts (and did not know that they were now residents of the Spear), but found it was a convenient reason to scorn the woman she'd not yet had the pleasure of meeting.
"Well, I am sorry to have missed such excitement, but at least you haven't suffered in my absence. No more than usual, anyway," she added, her words slightly teasing as she began to settle back into the companionship of her mirror image.
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Hydra - October 26, 2019
Hydra leaned in to her sister, and repaid her in kind; Alya was more unkempt than usual, and Hydra would, with great care, ensure that she was restored to her former glory. Hydra also knew her softness extended to Nikai; but she had worked toward making sure he was stronger for Alya. They were the sort of women that could save themselves, and their children, but it was always a comfort to know others could help when needed.
When speaking of Lyra, Hydra smiled through her teeth while working through a fussy knot with the same fangs. She paused for a moment to laugh,
this is true,thinking the very same as Alya. Lyra was a woman filled with hate, and for every ounce of it Hydra loved her more. They were a balance, the three of them; a savage variety. One, really, was no better than the other. Not in her mind. And together? Together they simply could not be surpassed.
The abandonmnet of her children was icing on the cake, in any case; loyalty to family was something at present Hydra lived and breathed. For them, what would she not do? Hydra continued to groom her sister then, withdrawing as she thoughtfully added:
oh, we have them—her children. Their father had come to join us, but was killed shortly after... by one of those murderers. It seems they hurt one of the children first, and it sounds as though they may seek the children now...In thinking of future generations, it did not, now, seem wise to keep them. But they were past that; she sighed.
I did not expect him to die; I expected him to hunt for the pack and protect,she shook her head at that. That was what he had said he would do—
Instead, he went and died. No help at all, there. And they were left with two dependent bodies.
She continued to groom her sister in contemplative silence, and she had to laugh again at her other sisters words.
My only true suffering was my longing for you to be here for the excitement,she quipped, well-meaning, and returned now that comforting lick to know that she was happy for her return. Her suffering had ended with Alya's arrival, and truly, she had not suffered at all beyond minor, miniscule frustrations.
In any case, Hydra went on to say,
her son—it seems as if he wants nothing to do with the mother. There was a skirmish over the moose I had mentioned that he remained, and he wanted her to have none of it. Smart boy,she said with a wan smile. If he could hold a grudge as well as the Ostrega's could, he might be better company than anticipated.
And her daughter... seems like a fighter,had the spirit of one... and the genetics. But she detested the part of them that might hold their mother within them; she hoped they had already learned from their dislike of her the parts of her they knew they ought to work towards removing.
It gave the children good company, in any case. And she had educated her children all about wordless abandonment [or otherwise], and the wrongness of it, promptly upon their admittance. With a sigh, Hydra paused once more in her grooming:
we must make sure they do not end up like their parents,Dead, or daft—little experiments. Could it be done?
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Alya - October 26, 2019
They had the children. Something about that pleased Alya, who had always been both petty and possessive. "How old are they?" she asked, and then listened quietly to the other information that was offered about them. She was interested, vaguely, in helping to cultivate them, but too weary at present to put more than a passing thought toward the avenue. They sounded promising, however, and Alya decided that she would look into those two as well. The fiery daughter especially.
Some time was spent quietly grooming (Alya had shifted her attention back to her own coat as well) while the dark shewolf processed this information, dwelling on the things she had missed and the things she had added to her own to-do list.
"What are the Nightwalkers like?" she asked at length. "Who is their leader?"
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Hydra - October 27, 2019
Her tongue laved, and her teeth combed; it was a labor of love, and Hydra had always loved to groom—and be groomed by—her sisters (and Dirge, too; he was well-taught, her teeth encouraging teachers indeed when he was too rough... or not nearly rough enough).
It is hard to tell,Hydra admitted, but then shared with Alya what she believed was their approximate age; she was not far off, but without having asked their mother or father Hydra could not know it for fact.
Pausing once again to share information about the Nightwalkers, Hydra educated her about what she knew of them.
They are wolves for hire; they will do anything asked, for a price. Vengeance is their leader; he respected my ambitions and my desire to rule this Wilderness, and well help me see it done,here she smiled, glad to have found an ally in this. So many men were not forward thinkers; Vengeance, for his part, seemed to be in acknowledging her place.
Our alliance means no deals can be made against any within our ranks, or Moonspear itself,this, she thought, was a good thing.
Vengeance is... a beast of a man. Vaati had more restraint,which was saying something, given how they had first come to blows with him,
He is large, larger than our father,who had been massive, Hydra had thought. But Hydra was not so easily cowed.
By now, she knew that size meant very little.
After a beat, she considered, with lilting mirth in her low tones,
handsome, in his own foul way,she felt, and she looked to her sister and said,
we are familiar with his sort.They knew how to subdue, subvert, and seduce them—take them down, too, if needed. But Hydra did not anticipate such a thing necessary for Vengeance; she saw a great future between them all. Had seen it clearly the day he hunkered over the moose and his wolves aided her in her violent cause of protecting what was rightfully theirs.
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Alya - October 27, 2019
While Hydra spoke, Alya spared a fleeting thought for Vaati. She had been quite enamored with him, for a time. The lawlessness of youth had been upon her, and she had allowed her wild nature to get the better of her; to lead her astray.
"We do," she agreed, finding herself less interested in meeting the man now that she knew a little more about him. She supposed it would be smart to meet him anyway, and to at least familiarize herself with the scent of their pack and their wolves. She would first be sure to cover herself in the scent of Moonspear, and in the scent of her sisters especially. She smelled too much like herself, these days, and it would be easy for any who knew her or Hydra or Lyra to guess she was a separate being from them.
The shewolf stretched and laid herself upon the stone floor of the cavern, thoughts turning over and over in her head. She did not wish to meet him, but she wondered about his size and strength. She remembered their father as being remarkably average in size for the amount of strength he possessed. She and Nikai were the same; strong, but not over large.
"A pack like that sounds like a liability as much as a boon," she ventured after much thought. "I do not doubt your ability to control or beguile -- but a man without sense or restraint strikes like lightning. You remember the other 'loud one'. He was nothing, but look at the damage he caused."
She looked up at Hydra, wondering what she thought of this.
"I can see their use, but we should seek an alliance with a more stable pack. Just in case this Vengence or a successor seeks to overwhelm us." Her head tilted to the side. "How much do we know about the boy in the woods? Is he violent, or merely loud? If he's young, perhaps kindness could secure his loyalty. And if it does not, we can always destory him when it comes time. But you can never go back and bring someone back to life."
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Hydra - October 28, 2019
The nature of it all was its familiarity; it was not at all strange territory for them, though Hydra understood well her sisters sentiment.
Indeed,she said, thoughtful.
I wonder if he can be taught restraint. Perhaps if he cannot learn it, you may be right,she considered things as her sister put it. Could he be investigating other alliances himself? Perhaps. If such a thing was discovered, she would know what to do.
Licking her chops, Hydra said,
if you hear word of betrayal, let me know at once,for men were silly creatures with their tells, and often thought themselves far superior to women; pride would ever be their downfall. As for Alya's other inquiries, Hydra rejoined:
worse: he is dumb. A true fool. He would be killed before he could find another to recruit; whatever pack he might build would be similar to him in its obnoxious nature,she wrinkled her muzzle—like called to like.
We will see it for ourselves, though,and that way, they could know the whole truth of it all; she did so adore humoring Alya, and always would.
But there was a far better option than that.
There is another pack being made in the Fen. A child wishes to lead them, so say Dirge and Jarilo—but children can be guided,she thought aloud. Hydra did not want to misguide any; she wanted strong, reliable allies that could be counted on. She hoped that was Vengeance, and thus far she did not think he would betray her—
She knew better than to count on purely optimism. Should she catch wind of anything that caused her uncertainty, she supposed she would know the truth of his character. It would be a mistake on his part to act without considering his best interests—which would be her, she vainly perceived.
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Alya - December 06, 2019
These three wolves settled like rocks in the pit of Alya's stomach. Beasts, fools, and children — these were their choices. The world suddenly seemed like a very big place, and their mountain very small indeed. She missed the tenacity of their father, and their mother's quiet wisdom, and standing in Dash's protective shadow, and the warm quiet of the den where they were whelped. The winter yawned before them, endless and cold and unknown. Life itself suddenly seemed very long and full of twists and turns; Alya wondered what happened when a wolf died, and whether it was just as cold where her parents now resided. Were they just as uncertain there?
"I wish the world could just be the three of us, and the wolves that we choose," she said quietly, and then immediately felt silly for expressing such a sentiment. Still, she soldiered on: "I used to love to meet new wolves when we were little. But now it seems the world is our enemy, and even those we align ourselves with are creatures that... that I must fear. And I must. One of us must, Hydra. You are Moonspear's queen for many reasons, but first and foremost for the love we bear you."
Her chest felt tight and heavy. The words she'd spoken were harsh in the air between them, and Alya was ashamed to have spoken them.
"I miss Daddy," she excused, the words coming out rather choked.
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Hydra - December 06, 2019
Hydra turned to regard Alya as she spoke. Her ears pricked, and she found she felt much the same; the world would be a better place for it. No beasts, no insufferable fools, no children they themselves did not desire. The Ostrega found herself drifting, then, momentarily, to the same places Alya had gone. She looked away then, but listened still to her twin as she spoke.
Her gaze turned toward Alya once she finished, and Hydra inched closer. Though she did not speak for a moment, she leaned her head against her sister and exhaled a heavy breath. Of course I am afraid, the exhalation conveyed and her sister would know. How could she not have felt so? Equipped and trained though she was to do as she was, Hydra still knew fear. But she would never let it rule her. It was a present reminder to tread carefully... and she was a very careful woman.
Still.
She withdrew, standing alongside Alya now as she responded.
I did too,Hydra expressed, though this her sister knew. Hydra had gone out to befriend many, after all...
once.Her features seemed to darken some as she looked away, though she could hardly hide the brewing storm she felt within.
Hydra considered what she said, quiet. She realized, then, that she might have many enemies for her ways, and would surely earn many more for her brutal methods. But then, so long as her family survived and thrived she truly did not care.
The world has become a crueler place than usual as of late, sister, with the prey leaving as they had. To have no fear at all in these times would be unwise,she hummed, far more collected than Alya but her voice carrying no less feeling,
but to be ruled by it would leave us hungry. Those that would steal from your mouth, my childrens mouths, will ever be my enemy these days. We have been here for years; they, no time at all. Damn the rest,she rumbled with the tenacity of their father they both, suddenly, yearned for,
you have all always been the wolves I choose. First, always.Her and Lyra, in particular. Why could the fool not simply go elsewhere?
As for their father, Hydra quieted then. What would he say to her, were he here? Their mother? She could imagine her enigmatic mother, approving albeit skeptical of the Nightwalkers, too (which she carried with her, maintaining her own healthy amount). Her mother and father both would likely consider Mal to be a little shit, and want him out, and the thought, for some reason, was so absurdly amusing to her that she laughed, suddenly; one arrogant man was enough for the Wilderness... but now, the empty space left behind by him left a terrible emptiness in her that she replaced with cruelty rather than kindness, feeling such a thing would serve her better...
But her family would not be met with it.
Me, too,she admitted, voice soft.
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Alya - December 13, 2019
You can't fight them all.
Alya felt her heart riot against the confines of her chest. She loved Hydra so dearly; more than she had loved her parents, and yet their dual loss had torn her to pieces all the same. Each and every death and departure had been a blow, and now they were getting down to the nitty gritty. There were so few that Alya could part with without grevious harm to her own pysche, and now this —
their enemies drew closer in the shadows, calling them their friends and yet tightening like a noose around their throat, grabbing like hungry, thorned brambles into their skin. Alya drew in a soft breath, wondering what, then, they should allow to rule them: their pride? their strength? Both things her sister commanded as easily as she commanded her wolves, but there would come a day when it could not save them. It had not saved their parents. It had not saved Dash.
"I just think — "
She swallowed the words, feeling unfit to speak them. She had failed this family so many times in her absence. If she had been here, perhaps she could have kept them from this even before it started.
"I just worry," she amended, wondering if she was, even now, failing her family. "The Nightwalkers... they do not love you. And fear is a weaker god than friendship." There. That was that said, even if it was not phrased quite as strongly as she felt it deserved.
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Hydra - December 13, 2019
Friendship,Hydra rejoined, wondering, when have you come to think like this? and, how have I missed such? Nikai; Nikai, pushing himself in her heart, softening her edges. Or was this Alya? Had Hydra overlooked this part of her?
I do not want friendship, Alya. Not anymore. Not from any stranger to me.She had tried. She had loved Terance with all of her heart, and Rannoch too. She had even tried kindness with Korei Julia. It meant nothing in the end, even though Terance had realized he was wrong. The god of friendship was no friend to her, and th wounds he left behind were far more loathsome, as she saw it, than fear.
She had a friend in Alya, and in Lyra. In Dirge. Even in Towhee, still, who had never wronged her. In Arcturus. In Jarilo. All others had left and betrayed her, despite her love for them. Despite her friendship. Kindness had only ever gotten Hydra nowhere; it was once Hydra who had wanted her sisters to have a more open mind about this sort of thing, and now look at them!
Of course she could be wrong about that, too. One was the other, after all. Easy to get confused.
Still, she heard her sister. Her expression turned a little sour for it.
I have all the friends I need,she drawled, a little weaker this time. So many had disappointed her. She felt far older than she was; did she have to endure all of that again? With a huff, Hydra pressed, a little flatly,
well, what do you suggest?
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Alya - December 24, 2019
Alya was already shaking her head; "I know you don't want it, Hy. Regardless, I am not speaking of friendship as an emotion -- at least on your part -- but as a practice," she tried to explain, feeling that her sister's patience was wearing thin. There was nothing to be done about the Nightwalkers, at this point. Alya held in a breath and let it out slowly, giving up her concerns about them for the moment. They'd been allowed to grow, and now they could not be crushed and done away with without trouble.
"Those who fear you might seek to overthrow you. Those like the Nightwalkers, who have no personal loyalty to you. To balance that, we should do our best to make ourselves personal allies to any packs we seek alliances with in the future," she said softly. "Just because you have risen above such things does not mean the rest of the world is on your level. And I have come to see... especially after what happened with Terance and Wraen and Liffey and Rannoch... while we did nothing we found reprehensible, others view these things differently. And if the way they expect the world to work is parroted back at them, they're often much easier to work with. So I am suggesting we try to make friends before followers. And if you won't, then perhaps sending a less intimidating envoy in your stead would help."
RE: you are to me like a very, very wild thing - Hydra - January 15, 2020
Hydra listened to her sister, understanding better now what she meant. But Hydra could not help but feel when friends were made; perhaps she could learn not to, but friendship was a personal thing to Hydra. She did not know where to draw the line, but she could at the very least try to if it would give Alya peace of mind.
She scoffed, however, at the mention of others and their feelings; fuck them! What about her feelings, Alya's feelings, their parents feelings when they elected to leave without reason?
They lied,she rumbled, vexed still,
they called us monsters. Well, Liffey did; what did we do to her?It had been so long ago, Hydra truly could not remember—only the feel of her hatred for the wretch. Such a thing would likely never die. She knew she did not mean them specifically, and yet she could not understand others at all to side with a wretch.
In any case, the truth came out about that. Everyone relevant to that except for Rannoch there learned about who she really was,she snorted. Terance had come to her; it meant that Wraen likely knew it, too, even if she had not admitted it, since she followed neither Rannoch nor Liffey any longer. And Rannoch would remain deluded for as long as Liffey kept his co—
That was not the point, and she knew it. Settling, Hydra huffed. Looking to her paws, Hydra said none too happily:
I will try.It was all she really could do; she was not sure she was capable of it any longer. So many others were just... pathetic, and sad, and weak-spined as well as willed. She wanted nothing to do with them. But to do what she herself and her father wished, she must do as she did not please on top of that which she did. Her gaze lifted to Alya and she grinned,
you would make a good envoy.Alya was charismatic and sweet; Hydra felt as though Alya could charm the dirt on the ground if she wanted to. Of course, that was nepotism and her own bias toward her mirror image.
And in the coming days, for Alya, she would try. Hydra move to lay and her mirror image joined her, and before long even @Lyra came to them and the three slept as they had so long ago.