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+--- Thread: Emberwood Caught in a landslide of emotions. (/showthread.php?tid=37605)
Caught in a landslide of emotions. - Ibis (Ghost) - November 18, 2019
I meant to do this earlier, but I'm doin' it now!
The discussion Ibis had with Bhediya was still fresh in her mind despite having occurred a few days prior, one of the many things that kept her up late, or made sleeping more than a handful of hours at a time difficult. Things would get better, she reasoned. What she needed was a support network, and for that to work she needed to get to know the wolves that had assembled in the woods; chief among them, at least for now, was @Kavik. The father-figure was intimidating, especially to the nymph after having seen him at a moment of desperation. The memory of the bear-like wolf rising up to the defence of his daughter ran through her mind over and over, and she had to trust that he would be a good fit for what she had in mind. If he could give up food for the sake of his daughter like that, defend her against whatever came from the wilderness, Ibis was sure he would make a fine protector for the rest of them. Convincing the man that it was in his best interest—or even trusting him enough to place him in an esteemed role—was her main goal at the moment.
She couldn't find him, though. The scents were so muddied throughout the woods that Ibis was having a hard time seeking just one of the many bodies out of the multitude; somehow she had built a legion in the span of two weeks, so it shouldn't be surprising that she struggle a bit. @Lainie's scent came and went as infrequently, but on more than one occasion Ibis managed to find her trail and follow her instead, winding between the trees until she found a recently made patch of crushed leaves. Curious; there was a half-made pile of red and gold trailing towards a patch of dark, interlocking trees. Ibis raised her head from dirt-level and took a deep breath, finally finding the strong scent of Kavik again, and pursued it.
Maybe they had been playing in the leaves? That would bode well for the pair, and by proxy for the pack—perhaps if they felt more at home here, then the father would feel obliged to lend his skills. As Ibis neared the dark recess of the trees she paused and called in to the hollow:
Kavik? Lainie? Are you here..?A part of her hoped that she could get this conversation out of the way quickly, but... She dreaded it too, for reasons she couldn't fathom. How was Ibis to know what anxiety was or how nonsensical it could be?
RE: Caught in a landslide of emotions. - RIP Kavik - November 19, 2019
The hollow wasn't anywhere near as protected as the cave he had discovered within his former claim, but it would do for now; it at least offered them shelter and protection at night while they slept, or rather, while Lainie slept. He felt safer within the woods and as part of a pack again, but he still hadn't gotten comfortable with everyone. After so long with his own pack made predominantly of his own family, it was quite a change to try and get used to trusting strangers, especially around his daughter. But, Ibis seemed trustworthy so far, and so he was taking a risk here and praying he wouldn't later regret it; that seemed to be the theme of his life lately.
Lainie had wanted to explore, and with strict orders to stay withing in calling distance of the thicket, he had given her permission to do so. Until he felt more comfortable here, he couldn't give her more freedom than that. He had also left the thicket shortly after the sound of her steps could no longer be heard and followed her trail until he was sure that she was keeping to her promise to stay close and that she wasn't getting into trouble. Then, he had turned back around and headed back to their safe spot, deciding that she had earned some time on her own to explore without him constantly in her business despite the fear that lingered in the back of his mind; that fear never left, though, he was just bad about acting on it sometimes.
As he neared the hollow, he picked up the fresh scent of Ibis. He thought maybe she had just been here recently on a patrol or something, but then he heard her call out, and he quickened his steps, worry creasing his brow as he finally arrived.
Ibis?he responded anxiously as he moved from the trees.
Is everything okay?His mind raced with all the possible reasons she might seek him out. His normal was worried, so his mind automatically jumped to the worst conclusions.
RE: Caught in a landslide of emotions. - Ibis (Ghost) - November 19, 2019
She need not wait long. There was a rustling among the trees; a dark shape came striding forth with the finesse of a wolf but the momentum of a spooked bear. The man looked like a smudge of shadow outlined by the white bark of the trees, which themselves were so narrow that the juxtaposition made Kavik look all that more intimidating. It didn't help that the man so easily dwarfed Ibis; she imagined he might rival the size of Okeanos or maybe even stand taller still, and as much as she expected his approach, she tensed and drew back a step all the same. Trust went both ways and in that brief flickering moment of doubt she felt a lack of it—and then his voice, clear but worried, drawled from him.
Ibis took a quick breath, sharp and soundless next to the weighted steps of the man. She tried to keep herself as calm as she could so that her thoughts wouldn't jumble. It almost felt like she was in trouble, and that was because Kavik reminded her so strongly of her own father—not quite the same size but, the worried expression and lack of hesitation flashed Ibis back to a younger moment in life. It was over as soon as it came though. Kavik stood before her with an expectant, almost nervous look on his face and Ibis snapped back to the point.
Hello, yes, hi. No—I mean, everything is fine.Wow, nice going there kid. Real smooth. Very leader-y. If it wasn't the slight scent of fear she was giving off it might've been the frigid affect to her posture that gave her away, or maybe the nervous smile. The girl clears her throat.
I wanted to ask how things were going with you and your daughter. Are you settling in okay? Is there.. Anything you might need?She didn't know what could possibly make it easier or what she could offer him, but, it was the natural thing to flow from her mouth. How could she possibly broach the subject of leadership with this man?
RE: Caught in a landslide of emotions. - RIP Kavik - November 19, 2019
His gaze tracked her movement as she took a step back, and a pang of guilt tightened his chest. Their first meeting seemed to still be affecting the woman, and he although he didn't regret any actions he took to protect his daughter, he did regret making her feel like she had to fear him now that they were somewhat familiar with each other. She seemed nervous as she spoke, her words jumbled and unsure; it was not something he was used to. He was used to being respected not feared, and he wasn't sure how much he liked the reaction he incited in the wolf who was supposed to be his leader. But learning to trust all of these new packmates was an adjustment for him, so he imagined it was the same thing for her. She already knew the other members more than he did, obviously, but that didn't mean there was any level of trust between them.
In the hope of easing her discomfort, he concentrated on releasing any tension still left in his muscles and relaxing his expression. He dipped his head in gratitude at her question.
Things are...hard right now, but that's not at all your fault.If anything, she had made things as easy as they could be right now. No one could rush the grieving process, though, and he wasn't sure there was anything she could do about that.
We're settling in fine, though. Thanks for asking. I can't think of anything specific that we need, but I'll let you know if I think of something.He glanced around. He wanted to continue talking, find out what it was that made her seek him out assuming this was more than just a check in, but he was reluctant to stay still too long; staying busy kept his mind from drifting to things he'd rather not think about.
Would you mind if we patrolled while we talk? Not too far from here in case Lainie calls for me, but around the area?Patrolling was something familiar, something he had always used to help him deal with his anxieties; maybe it would help ease things between them, too.
RE: Caught in a landslide of emotions. - Ibis (Ghost) - November 21, 2019
Though he made it sound like everything was alright, he was tense, and answered her questions with swiftness and certainty. Ibis couldn't help but study the way the man behaved; he had been a leader once, a king to the creek, and there was much she could learn from him. When prompted to walk and talk she nodded, and followed after him—his broad strides ate up the ground and Ibis had to move quickly to keep up, but she didn't complain.
As they were on their way, a quiet settled between them. Ibis wanted to ask so many questions. She really, truly wanted to get to know the man; but where should she start? Hello, I met your dead wife once, and I know you've been dethroned but maybe you could tutor me on how to be an Alpha? That didn't sound anywhere near right.
The silence was almost too much. So she cleared her throat, and said the first thing to slide in to her brain:
So you have... Warrior experience, which.. Obviously isn't my thing. I'm tiny. And you're mindful of the forest, and of the safety of your daughter. If you live here I expect the same protection extends to the rest of us?Or was he only here for Lainie, until the winter came and went, and they could move on together? She didn't want to ask this—and instead glanced to Kavik, curiosity tempered by caution.
RE: Caught in a landslide of emotions. - RIP Kavik - November 21, 2019
He didn't really mind the silence between them, although he did begin to wonder if she had a reason for seeking him out or if she really was just making sure they didn't need anything. Either way, he was thankful for the chance to think of something other than the clawing despair that lived inside every cell of his being. When she did finally speak, her question surprised him. As a leader, it was assumed that his protection extended to the whole pack and he hand't even considered that anyone would question whether that was the case now. Leader or not, was it not everyone's responsibility to keep the pack safe?
Of course, Ibis,he said, brow creasing some in concern.
I couldn't call this my home and not be protective of anyone else who called it the same.He was here using resources and benefiting from the safety of being a part of a group; if they wanted his contribution to be in the form of protection, well then that would be nothing new and nothing he wouldn't have done anyway.
The winter will be hard and more dangerous than it is normally; I'll do my best to make sure we're safe.He had told his family the same thing, though, and now they were all dead. Doubt and guilt mixed together inside him and formed a giant knot in his chest. He felt like a liar somehow, promising to keep these wolves safe when he had failed to do the same for his own family. But he would try; it's not like he could fill his time with anything else, anyway. Patrolling and protecting were the best ways he knew to stay busy. More than anything, though, he felt he owed Ibis for her kindness.
Are you worried about anything in particular?he asked. She was probably just concerned about the winter like everyone else, but it would be helpful to know if there was anything he needed to keep an eye on. As for her size, he would address that in a minute; he wanted to make sure she understood that being small wouldn't prevent her from learning to protect herself or others.
RE: Caught in a landslide of emotions. - Ibis (Ghost) - November 24, 2019
It wasn't that she doubted his ability or his motivation, or even his dedication to the collective—but it was good to have everything confirmed by his own words. A pledge to protect them for as long as necessary. Not many of the wolves she'd collected had the same bulk to them, and certainly not the same skill set.
Are you worried about anything in particular?Asked the man plainly, to which Ibis shook her head.
No, I'm sure we'll be fine for the winter. I don't suspect any issues within the forest.It was good to keep herself apprised of each individual's happiness and the skills they could contribute, and that was the extent of it. She clears her throat softly before adding,
I'm glad that you—both of you—feel so at home here. I was hoping... Well,here she began to waffle a bit, not sure how to phrase things. She still didn't know very much about Kavik but she wanted to trust in his strength and experience.
I've never led anything before and I don't know if I'm fully equipped to do it by myself.There was an implication there; a few steps later, she pauses in the patrol and lets the words sink in, then continues:
I want to form a small council to help me with leadership, and you're high on my list. You were an Alpha before, and I think the pack would benefit—and I would benefit—with your support and experience. It would be yourself, Bhediya, Awol... And maybe one other.
Thus she stops her explanation, and watches him. Hopefully the request wasn't too much to ask, although it was a large subject to draw him in to. If he refused then she'd have to rethink how things would work, or find a suitable replacement—but Ibis wasn't there yet.
RE: Caught in a landslide of emotions. - RIP Kavik - November 26, 2019
He wondered how she was so sure they would be fine in the forest for the winter; there was hardly any food, and he had a feeling everyone would only become more aggressive as the weather turned colder and the food dwindled even more. Even within the confines of the forest, he feared they might run into trouble before spring arrived. He was about to point out as much but paused when she continued to speak, her words making him slow his pace as it seemed she wanted to tell him something important. Ibis expressed her doubts as a leader, a feeling he was all too familiar with. Leading a pack was not for the weak of mind or heart. And leading on your own was exponentially harder because you had no one to fall back on or help you make hard decisions. He had led packs with others and on his own, and he would much prefer the former. And this being the first time the young woman had ever led anything meant that she would surely benefit from the help of other leaders. Even on the edge of this thought, he was still surprised by her request. Although he shouldn't be; it made sense that she would want to have him as someone she could consult with when she was struggling with her duties—at least on the surface it made sense. But he had been someone that made decisions for a pack before and it had led to the death of his family. With that thought feeding the knot of doubt and guilt already in his chest, Kavik wanted to decline, but found that he couldn't; he couldn't deny her the council she needed and was asking of him after she had taken them in. He owed her, and he felt like maybe he could keep her from making some of the mistakes he had made. Maybe that would absolve him of some of his guilt. Doubtful, but it would at least save her from having to suffer the way he was now. He had stopped walking when she did, but he didn't turn to her until he had made up his mind, afraid she would see his doubt and self hate swimming within the emerald of his gaze. When he finally let his eyes settle on her face, his expression would only hold resolve and acceptance.
I can do that for you,he answered with a dip of his head.
A council is a good idea; it lets the responsibility be shared and not just fall on the shoulders of a single leader.Maybe if there had been a council leading the creek, things would have gone differently. But he had trouble even keeping enough adult members to hunt, so keeping a council may have been unattainable there. But this council seemed quite the opposite. Ibis had already selected two others to help her lead, so she had clearly given this a lot of thought.
I'd like to meet with the other two or three as well; maybe we could meet as a group and discuss everything.It would be important to make sure they were all on the same page and had similar goals, or the council would fall apart quickly.
RE: Caught in a landslide of emotions. - Ibis (Ghost) - November 26, 2019
In an ideal world everyone would get along, there would be so much food that no such worry would exist, and happiness would flourish. Ibis was doing her best to build something out of nothing, which she had never done before. She was still developing as a person and couldn't be expected to also be a strong leader right off the bat; she doubted herself and her youth, but with a council to help her with decisions and to uphold any laws passed, she hoped it would be easier to cherry-pick the best parts of her friends as she cultivated her own leadership style. All of this flourished in her mind—she was being influenced by so many people and so many of her own experiences. If only her mothers could see her now! She was still thinking in very black-and-white terms, but in time perhaps she would outgrow such linear thought and become someone that her scratch-built family could truly love.
That's what this was all for, after all. Beyond the need for security and food for the winter, all that Ibis wanted was the love of her family. She'd lost Elysium, given up on the Hollow, and now was a mess without Okeanos to protect her and guide her. Ibis was left with nothing and she was trying her best to keep her head above water—so when Kavik finally spoke up and gave his opinion, even going so far as to agree, it was like a breath of fresh air after being submerged. Relief flooded her; playing across her face so openly in that initial moment that Ibis looked all the more like the ill-equipped child she felt like.
Good. Yes, it... It would be a very good idea to get everyone together.She says with a thin smile, and begins to walk again, slowly so that he could follow. The tension she'd experienced just thinking of this conversation and all the ways it could've gone wrong melted away as she walked, and contentment followed.
I sent Awol on a trip to visit a nearby pack, hopefully to cultivate an alliance. When he returns we can get everyone together for a discussion. I am glad that you are willing, Kavik. I really appreciate it.
RE: Caught in a landslide of emotions. - RIP Kavik - November 26, 2019
The amount of relief that filled her expression at his acceptance solidified his feelings that this was what he needed to do for her. He remembered all the times he had struggled and agonized over how best to lead his wolves and the thought of saving her some of that grief was like someone had shined a small light into the dark pit of despair that had replaced his heart.
He matched her speed as she began to walk, remaining at her side as she spoke of Awol and how he had been sent to see about an alliance. And she liked his idea of a group meeting. When she thanked him, he dipped his head.
Of course; I'll help in anyway that I can.Curious he continued to speak, asking:
Which pack has Awol gone to visit?He wondered if he knew them; maybe he could offer some insight. He hadn't done much in the way of creating alliances while leading the creek, bogged down by responsibility and unable to leave towards the end due to their low numbers. But he knew the importance of having friends, and he thought it was a smart move to start working towards alliances while the pack was still forming.
RE: Caught in a landslide of emotions. - Ibis (Ghost) - November 27, 2019
As he fell in to step beside her (which wasn't a difficult pace, as each of his strides could easily enfold several of her own shorter ones) it became more of a mosey through the trees, and when the sounds of Lainie playing among some leaves met her, Ibis stopped. Kavik was speaking and so she refocused on his voice, so deep and different from the thin crackling sound of the leaf-litter and the distant laughter of the girl.
Kavik's question was an easy one.
To the east, where my father lives. He's the Alpha of the Lost Creek pack.It wasn't until that moment that Ibis realized something about Kavik. As an Alpha himself previously, he might've been privy to his own relationships among the packs of the valley. Then again, Ibis hadn't met him on her own scouting missions—she'd met Rosalie.
Did you have any alliances when you were leading the Creek?
Nobody had kept Ibis in the loop as far as alliances went, but then, she had been young and more interested in the pretty sights rather than the actual task of passing messages when she was a scout. Maybe if she'd been more mature during her stay in the Hollow, things would've been different.
RE: Caught in a landslide of emotions. - RIP Kavik - December 10, 2019
He was, obviously, familiar with Lost Creek Hollow, but he had never met the leaders there. Surely the fact that her father was the alpha would mean an alliance was expected, but then, he knew things weren't always that simple with families.
Well, I hope he returns with good news,Kavik offered with a dip of his head.
He nodded his head in response to her question.
Elysium was our ally, and I was working on creating one with the wolves of Kaistleoki before...everything,he said, his expression pained and sad. He wondered what had become of those packs. He hadn't heard anything or seen any of their members to be bale to check, but as they were both close to the mountains, he worried they might have suffered the same fate as the creek.
I had also proposed an alliance to the wolves of Diaspora, but I never heard anything else of it, so I assume it was not something they wanted.That or they were gone too.
Alliances are good, though. I'm glad that you're already on top of that.With the way the winter was turning out to be, they would need all the friends they could get.
RE: Caught in a landslide of emotions. - Ibis (Ghost) - December 11, 2019
Hearing the name of her home made her ears twitch; she felt a great wave of nostalgia—or maybe it was pure unhindered sadness—come and go through her heart, almost like she'd been punched in the chest, but managed to contain herself and refocus on what he was saying. It was like the wind had been knocked out of her for that fraction of a second, and it hurt. He went on to name Kaistleoki (which was vaguely familiar—and made her think of Ira); then another place, one which she had no memory of at all. Diaspora was not familiar in the slightest, and even though Ibis had met with someone who hailed from there, her sleepy memory of Julian remained incomplete in the daylight; meeting him was like a dream, and she had almost forgotten the late night of conversation they had shared.
His compliment—praise, rather—was met with a thin smile.
All I've ever wanted was the warmth of family, and I think we've managed to begin that process within the woods. Hopefully by linking up with other packs we can help one-another out.What was the point of life if not to be with those you love? And to that end, Ibis would always faithfully pursue friendship; she was oblivious to the turmoil and the internal politics that often plagued rival kingdoms, but in this instance her naivety was a boon.
RE: Caught in a landslide of emotions. - RIP Kavik - December 27, 2019
I think so, too,Kavik agreed. He was grateful for it, especially since his daughter was living here too. She would benefit from the environment here. He stopped to inspect a tree, resuming his spot beside Ibis once he was sure it didn't need to be refreshed. He continued on along the edges of their new territory, glad to have some company on his patrol. He would answer whatever questions she had or discuss whatever she wished; it would help take his mind off of all the darkness in his life.
I have a little more patrolling to do if you're still up for it,he said, offering her a lopsided smile. If she wasn't then he would continue on his own.
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