bhediya paced frantically between the aspens. there was too much (too much!) and yet not enough; too many options, she thought, but none of them viable. concern was clear on her face as she marched from one spot to the next, that familiar ball of emotion growing in her throat.

not now, not now. 

she reminded herself of where she was. home. bhe counted each step that she took in an effort to ground herself, to stabalize her mind. the sun was shining high above but all that she could see was her failure.

reiko's words were muffled and consequently ignored. bhediya continued on her path from left-tree to right, right-tree to left, left-tree...

although her nostrils were flared and breaths frequent, it took a moment to detect the medic's scent. bhe looked up, still moving, but stopped once she processed the girl's question. is everything alright? she'd asked. 

maintaining her silence (and a discreet jig) bhe looked helplessly at her companion.

bhediya didn't realize that she'd forgotten to breathe until finding reprieve with an inhale. the quivering was constant, as was the tingling around her mouth. the tunnel vision was beginning to fade, though she found that the world was still a blurred mess. 

yes, she stood still, but not by her own volition. reiko left and bhe's body froze in response, completely unable to move despite her efforts. this...panic, it was unfamiliar and uncomfortable. one could only guess how long she'd been stuck.

without protest, bhediya opened her mouth and accepted reiko's offering. she was beginning to feel light-headed but managed to stay upright, finding the girl's presence to be as helpful as any. still unable to speak, she stared and waited.

it was as though this body belonged to someone else and bhediya was being forced to play the part of bystander. she was on the verge of unconsciousness; reiko came to urge her onto the ground, but ended up being used as a support beam. the toppling was sloppy, disorganized, and soon enough, bhe had completely collapsed onto the earth.

there hadn't been enough oxygen getting to her brain. bhe wouldn't (and couldn't) have known this, but that's what it was. having held her breath for so long sent her body into shut-down mode. 

so, it took a moment for her to wake back up. bhediya's eyes fluttered open. the faint tingling remained around her mouth and paw pads. there was no more tunnel vision, but the scene was still groggy and almost incomprehensible. there was reiko, her voice like that of a ghost — how are you feeling now? — being the last thing bhe heard before drifting out of consciousness once more.

after the second time, she was awake. her heart felt heavy against the walls of her chest, beating slowly but with an unfamiliar force. she opened her mouth to speak but said nothing; what could she have said?

bhediya wished that she'd been alone. don't tell anyone, she whispered, knowing that reiko would hear. it was harder to keep a secret with more than one mouth to control. 

worrying ibis was her main concern. she'd become like a daughter to the scout; keeping her happy, allowing her to flourish, that's what she wanted. thinking about pygmalion and what he might do, well, bhediya simply chose not to.

thank you, though. she felt reiko's heart beat rhythmically against her back.

for a moment, bhediya's brow was furrowed with offense. reiko likely meant no harm by the offer of consolation, but it still rubbed her the wrong way. it made her feel incompetent, as though a counselor was not prone to the same ailments as their patient and the very insinuation of such was a question of her position.

but bhediya knew that that wasn't what reiko meant, so she replied with a simple, okay. by then, she'd garnered enough strength to pull herself onto all fours. a wobble, but then she stood straight, tail wagging slowly behind her. i should get back to work, she whispered. bhe turned her eyes to the ground and made her exit.