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Blackbeak Bluff we will become silhouettes - Printable Version

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we will become silhouettes - Alarian - December 13, 2019

He hadn't intended to range quite so far, but it seems all his memories that once evaded him so thoroughly are smothering him now, surrounding him so thickly he can hardly see anything past them. He'd left behind the valley where he'd met @Lennon and @Korei Julia, had wandered past the mountains where they'd gathered their little group, remembering all the hopes of that spring in a series of images: the creek by which he'd found @Eris, the woods where @Lily had found him in a tree, the cracked boulder of the home they'd all made together. All of it is behind him now, both literally and figuratively, yet it consumes him all the same.
He wanders the wreckage of the coast in a haze, and he remembers. He remembers the tender awkwardness of each moment spent with @Ulf, the grief that had consumed him when he'd discovered the body of @Ioa. He remembers his clumsy romance with Delight, his trysts with @Samothes, and the flame of passion he'd shared briefly with @Outlander. His paws get wet with saltwater as he wanders, and then his forelegs, and then the rest of him, and he remembers. He remembers @Zamael most of all; his protector, his companion, his first friend and his substitute parent — but he isn't any of those things anymore. Zamael is far away now, and he is only his distant, tormented brother, a ghost of the past as much as those he knows are dead.
He hopes he's happy, wherever he is. He hopes they all are.
The cliffs draw him in, though reaching them proves frustrating. Thrice he finds himself slipping on some water-slicked debris, twice stepping into a pit of water far deeper than it appears, and by the time he finishes the ascent he is breathless and bruised and perhaps a little bloody under all the silty saltwater soaking his coat. But he's here now, and here he remembers @Midar. The wind is howling, and in it he thinks he can hear his mate's voice, arguing with him still: "But do you really want to live here while I live somewhere else?" The ghost of his mate demands in a shrieking gust of air, and he shakes his head. I should never have gone. The spectre continues, furious. "Would you not be just as miserable as I would be?"
I would, He says abruptly, gaze dropping toward the sea. I am, and it's not right. It's not fair. Not after I've dealt with so much, after I've lived through so much heartbreak and bullshit. Why does it always come back to you? Why is it always you? He deserves more, doesn't he? He takes a step forward, and the wind seems to pick up, taking on an even fiercer tone. Swaying, he casts his gaze skyward. His jaws part slightly, as if he might howl his sorrows to the sea and sun — but someone beats him to it. The distant keening carries strong on the wind, startling him, and he lurches forward abruptly. Midar?
It's his last thought before he finds himself losing purchase against the slick stone, scrambling for the briefest moment — and then the ground is gone from beneath him, and the sound is gone too, and Midar, and the grey is rushing toward him and he knows he's going to die and his lungs are screaming and his head feels so tight and he —
And he's gone.
thank u for being my vent character for so long, ali <3