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+--- Thread: Emberwood [M] to tell you how i feel (/showthread.php?tid=38368)
[M] to tell you how i feel - RIP Grezig - December 28, 2019
Grezig’s last encounter with Kavik had been interesting and emotional. She had learned a few things about her friend, and he’d learned a few things about her. And then she’d avoided him. Oops. It was difficult, she had to admit to herself, being here with him. Sure, he’d been happy to see her, and had accepted her into this pack, but he’d had two wives in the time that she had known him, and multiple children. I mean, she herself had had children, so that shouldn’t have bothered her. But it did. Why was it always someone else? Why had it been Liri? And afterwards, why had some new woman come along and stolen him all over again, with Grezig none the wiser.
This line of thinking wasn’t fair to anyone, she knew, but she had a hard time thinking otherwise. She’d thrown herself into life at Rusalka, tried to get to know Illidan better, met Caiaphas, had her own children by a man she didn’t care about. She’d tried to be around for her children, but her children had left her. And Illidan had never been close to her. She’d had no one. She’d even failed in creating her own pack. She was tired. She was tired of always failing, of this never-ending fall from grace. From power. She’d once been Beta of Blacktail Deer Plateau, and only her emotions had gotten in the way of that. She wanted to say that she no longer had feelings for Kavik. She desperately wanted to stop caring about him. But she couldn’t, and if they were going to live here together, he needed to know that her feelings for him hadn’t changed. She wouldn’t hide that from him, like she had the day he’d accepted her into the pack.
She howled for him, and then began pacing where she stood, back and forth, over and over, waiting. They’d needed to have this conversation for some time. She just hoped they were both ready for it, no matter what came out of their mouths.
RE: to tell you how i feel - RIP Kavik - December 28, 2019
He had spent the morning as he usually did, finding ways to stay busy. His night had been full of awful, vivid dreams, and he had woken just before the sun and had been unable to go back to sleep, which was how most nights had gone for him since losing his family. Remaining distracted had been more difficult than normal today, though. Grezig's reappearance in his life had brought back a lot of feelings he hadn't thought about in a long time. He hadn't forgotten how things had ended that day in front of the entire plateau pack; he hadn't forgotten the admission of her feelings for him. He wondered if she still felt the same way. Part of him hoped she didn't; he was broken—a shell of his former self, and he wouldn't even know what to say or do with those feelings. Alessia and Rosalie were dead, and he knew he would never see them again, but it still felt wrong to think of anyone else the way he once thought of them. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt her, and he was almost certain he would if their relationship shifted to more than a friendship. The situation had weighed heavy on his mind since her arrival, only made worse by the fact that he hadn't seen much of her since finding her on the borders of his new home.
Grezig's howl rang through the trees, as if his thoughts had summoned her attention. No matter his feelings on the nature of their relationship, he wouldn't ignore her call. Kavik turned and trotted through the forest, towards the sound. He found his former beta pacing nervously in place as she waited. Concern creasing his brow, he stopped near her.
Grezig, is something wrong?he asked immediately, worried that something had happened to her or one of their packmates.
RE: to tell you how i feel - RIP Grezig - December 28, 2019
This is long and Grezig is rambling for most of it. If you feel Kavik would have interrupted her at any point, feel free to do so and ignore the rest of what she says.
Grezig spun ungracefully at the sound of Kavik’s voice, not having noticed his approach. “Kavik,” she said, breathlessly. “What? No, nothing is wrong.” Her words came out too fast, too eager. She shook her head, took a step toward him. “I must speak with you. Something… something is wrong, but… How do I explain?” She looked around, at the trees, the sky, the ground, trying to think of what to say to him. “Something is wrong with me,” she finally said, desperate to say something, even if the words came out jumbled. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her frantic mind. She was never frantic like this. She was Grezig. She embodied earth—slow, patient, obstinate. She laughed, though it came out sounding wrong, half-crazed. Perhaps her obstinance was the reason she still had feelings for this man. Perhaps she was simply too stubborn to let go.
She sat down promptly, her rump simply falling the ground as if her back legs had stopped functioning. She glanced at Kavik, her eyes wild. “I’m tired of waiting!” she said, louder than she would have liked. “You were already Liri’s by the time you met me. I understand that. But then I left and… what? Some other woman came and took you. From me. Again.” She was not herself. The Grezig she knew would have explained herself more gracefully than this. With more decorum. With probably less words, and certainly less show of emotion.
Her ears fell along her skull of their own accord, tail tucked tightly against her side. “Why am I always waiting?” She stared at him, eyes wide and imploring and desperate and… more than a little intense. They narrowed after a moment and her face contorted into something akin to rage or… jealousy. “Am I not good enough for you?” Something was wrong with her, after all. She must be defective in some way, or he would have loved her in return by now. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she realized that she was sliding quickly into madness, but she couldn’t stop herself. She had to get the words out before they consumed her.
RE: to tell you how i feel - RIP Kavik - December 29, 2019
The interaction started out confusing, Grezig assuring him that nothing was wrong and then immediately contradicting herself. She seemed to be having trouble explaining herself, and concern drew his eyebrows together. His frown only deepened as she appeared to draw in a breath to steady herself only to emit a strange laugh after. He wasn't even sure what to say, so he just watched her in confused silence as she struggled with some internal war.
She sat down and continued to talk, her words making his confusion quickly morph into surprise. She was apparently tired of waiting for him. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. She was the one that ran away, not him. Things got weird, and she just took off. Not that he blamed her, but that didn't mean she could blame him for everything. The mention of his former wives made him stiffen, tension tightening his jaw. Yet he still said nothing. He wasn't yet sure what the hell to say to this. and then...am I not good enough for you? He couldn't contain the sick huff of laughter that escaped his chest at those words. It was ridiculous, the notion that he was too good for her or anyone, really. And she was ridiculous, at least she was acting that way right then. For a few long moments, he just stared at her, his jaw still tense and his expression somewhere between confused and angry.
You're the one that left, Grezig. I never wanted that. I can't help what happened after you ran away, and I certainly haven't been purposely keeping you waiting.He shook his head and looked away. But then he quickly met her gaze again, his expression softening.
It was never about you being good enough.He sighed, the last of the tension leaving his body with a drop of his shoulders.
You were better off anyway, trust me.If she had stayed and something had blossomed between them, then she would be dead under a pile of boulders instead of Alessia and Rosalie. She would have paid for his poor judgement. No one deserved that, but no matter how many times he wished to take the place of his family, he still remained here. He was still left here drowning in guilt and despair.
RE: to tell you how i feel - RIP Grezig - December 30, 2019
Grezig saw the tension in Kavik’s body but she did not back down. He stared at her, and she stared back, her eyes hard and unforgiving. She was still aware that she was being kind of insane right now, but she’d come this far. She was unwilling to give in so easily, partly out of embarrassment, but mostly out of stubbornness.
He accused her of being at fault, and she stiffened, feeling defensive. She said nothing, however, as she knew that he was right. She had run away. Still. “I only ran from the plateau because I wasn’t being a good beta to you or the rest of the pack. Besides, I did not want to break up you and Liri. I may have loved you then, as I do now”—her body grew hot at the admission, but she pressed on—“but I had no intention of destroying your relationship with her.”
His body seemed to relax then, even to deflate. ’You were better off anyway, trust me,’ he said.
Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Why?” she asked slowly, drawing out the y sound. He seemed guilty, but she couldn’t imagine what he could have possibly done to deserve to feel that way.
RE: to tell you how i feel - RIP Kavik - December 30, 2019
He felt instantly guilty for his words. He was struggling so much to be normal Kavik, but sometimes the grief overcame his efforts. Of course that was why she had left.
I'm sorry, Grezig,he said quietly.
I know that's why you left.He sighed a little.
But, I had no idea that you still felt that way. How could I?He hadn't seen her in almost a year, and so much had changed since then. How was he to know that she had held onto her feelings this whole time. It didn't change his reservations, though; she was better off not exploring any kind of relationship with him that was more than a friendship.
She questioned his words, which he expected, but that didn't make it any easier to explain. His reasons for feeling that way were pushed deep down inside, and he fought every day to not think or talk about it. But for some reason, his control splintered now. His expression was pained again as he spoke.
Because my entire family died, and it's all my fault,he finally answered. He couldn't even look at her as he said the words.
I made the decision to move them from the creek and take them up through the mountains. They all trusted me to keep them safe, and instead, I lead them to their deaths.His gaze remained fixed on his front paws, despair and shame tightening his chest so hard that he thought it might explode. He secretly wished it would. Then he wouldn't have to hear her reaction or see condemnation on her face.
RE: to tell you how i feel - RIP Grezig - December 30, 2019
His apology to her seemed to calm her down. She sighed. “You’re right. There is no possible way you could have known how I felt about you for all this time. It is not fair of me to accuse you of anything. We have been separated for so long. I only…” She pursed her lips, looking around as she tried to think of what to say. “My emotions got the better of me just now. I did not mean to… to go off on you.” She shook her head. She was not being herself, but she’d never really been herself around Kavik. Or maybe… maybe she was the most true to herself when she was near him. It was difficult to tell. No matter. She inserted the shield around her emotions once more as she listened to him talk of his family, vowing silently that she would never break down like that again. It would only cause problems.
She shook her head as he spoke about it being his fault that his entire family had died. The admission sent a thrill of fear and horror through her, but also sympathy, pain, sorrow. At the end of his small explanation, though, she was more confused than anything. She had not been within the Teekon Wilds during the natural disasters and still had no idea of their existence. “What happened in the mountains?” she asked. “I do not understand how moving them could have killed them.” She winced, realizing she was probably being insensitive. “I’m sorry. You do not have to speak of it anymore. Whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault, I’m sure. I cannot imagine you would have done anything to deliberately harm anyone, least of all your own family.” She gazed on him with pity; he looked a broken man and she was unsure what would help heal him, but after her previous emotional outburst, she wasn’t sure that dredging up painful memories would be helpful at all.
RE: to tell you how i feel - RIP Kavik - December 30, 2019
Don't apologize,he replied.
You have every right to express your feelings, and I want you to feel like you can do that with me.He paused, unsure how to word what he wanted to say next.
I care about you, Grezig, but I need time...I need things to move kind of slowly. I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear.He wanted her to be completely aware of where he stood. But he also didn't want her to think that he was rejecting her, because he wasn't. Right now, though, he just needed her friendship. If the friendship became more, then he wouldn't resist it, but he needed her to understand that it might take a while for him to get there.
It's my fault because the mountains had been quaking for weeks, and it had only continued to get worse; it was the reason we had to leave the creek in the first place.He shook his head again.
I shouldn't have taken them that way. I should have known something like that would happen. Intentional or not, I made the wrong decision and my family paid for it.He couldn't stand to hear her try and convince him that he wasn't at fault here; he didn't deserve to be absolved of his guilt.
RE: to tell you how i feel - RIP Grezig - December 30, 2019
Grezig listened silently as Kavik spoke. She felt relieved when he said she didn’t need to apologize, that she could share her emotions with him if she wanted to. She nodded, though was still thinking that having an outburst probably wasn’t the best way of going about sharing her feelings.
’I care about you, Grezig…’
Her heart leapt in her chest.
’… but I need time… I need things to move kind of slowly. I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear.’
She took a breath, nodding. The world did not revolve around her; she knew that. Kavik had just lost his family. After learning about that, there was no way Grezig was going to try and rush their relationship along. That would be cruel, and it wasn’t something she wanted. Of course he would need time. Anyone would.
She listened as he explained how his family had died. There had been earthquakes in the Teekon Wilds, something she had not learned of until now. Her brows drew together in concern. He hadn’t quite come out and said what had happened to his family, but she imagined that earthquakes in the mountains could only mean something like a landslide. Pain filled her eyes, pain for him. She had no idea what to say in the face of such devastation. “I’m sorry,” she murmured quietly, though she knew such words meant nothing compared to what he must be feeling. She had no other consolation than that, though. She scrambled in her brain for something more meaningful to say.
“My son,” she began, landing on a painful memory of her own. “Xizur. I think I told you I lost him a few weeks ago, when I met you at the border. He went missing one day and there was no trace of him anywhere. No scent trail. Nothing. I lived near the ocean, then, on the beach. He probably drowned.” She said all this calmly, for it had happened many months ago and she had come to terms with it as best she could. (She realized all of a sudden that this was probably another reason she hated the ocean, something she hadn’t pieced together until just now). Her boy had been so young when it had happened that she hadn’t really known him. But he had been her child. It still hurt. She wanted Kavik to know that she knew what it felt like to lose family, especially one’s children.
RE: to tell you how i feel - RIP Kavik - December 30, 2019
He was thankful that she offered nothing other than her sympathies when he was done admitting his deepest regrets to her. His families deaths were his fault, and he didn't want to hear anything to the contrary. He nodded in response to her words, a sad smile forming on his face.
And then it was his turn to listen quietly while she offered him what had to be a painful story from her past. So she knew exactly how it felt to lose a child; he wished she didn't know that pain, but there was nothing he could do about it now except off his support and understanding.
Grezig, I'm so sorry,he offered. Then, he closed whatever distance was left between them, sitting down in front of her and nuzzling her cheek if allowed. He knew nothing he could say would change her son being gone or how she felt about it, but he knew that sometimes, all someone needed was to know you were there for them. He wanted to pull her closer into an embrace, wanting to comfort as well as be comforted, but he was unsure how she would feel about it. So he lingered near instead, making himself available without making her feel obligated to accept his affection.
RE: to tell you how i feel - RIP Grezig - December 30, 2019
Grezig nodded mutely when Kavik offered her his condolences, shrugging and shaking her head as if to say that there was nothing anyone could do. It felt like their conversation was coming to a close, so she was about to stand and take her leave, but he suddenly moved towards her and nuzzled his nose into her cheek.
Her entire body felt electrified, as if a lightning bolt had struck her. Her heart pounded in her chest. It was wrong. It was wrong to feel this way after they had just finished speaking of such morbid things. Yet, he had been the one to move forward. She knew he was simply trying to make her feel better about losing Xizur, yet she was enjoying his touch far too thoroughly. She swallowed as he pulled back. He didn’t move away from her, though, and they sat in front of one another very closely. His body seemed to lean toward her, as if in invitation. She inhaled slowly, trying to calm her nerves, trying to remind herself that his touch was meant to comfort her sorrow, not ignite a fire within her core.
Hesitantly, she moved to nuzzle him in return, but this sort of affection felt strange to give, let alone to receive. She settled instead for resting her head on his shoulder, but otherwise didn’t move, her nerves making her freeze and tense up, not knowing how much touch was too much.
RE: to tell you how i feel - RIP Kavik - December 30, 2019
She accepted his touch, and for a few moments did nothing in return. He didn't mind, though, just her presence was already soothing some of his soul's hurt. He thought she might nuzzle him in return but then he felt her head on his shoulder. Tension he hadn't realized was still tightening his muscles fell away with a quiet sigh, and he wrapped around her, hugging her close.
Thank you,he quietly offered after a few moments. His emotional burden seemed a little lighter now that he had finally shared it with someone. He remained where he was, embracing her for as long as she would let him. It was maybe a little selfish of him, but it had been so long since he felt any kind of comfort, and he wasn't willing to part with it yet.
He did eventually lean back a little and ask:
Is this okay?He felt like an ass for pushing his affection her.
We don't have to do this if you don't want to.They had never really been affectionate before, and he wasn't quite sure how she felt about it, especially with how up in the air things were between them.
RE: to tell you how i feel - RIP Grezig - December 30, 2019
Her heart beat strong and fast. She could hear the blood pumping in her ears. She was trembling. She tried to control her breathing, to inhale slowly, hold, and exhale slowly also. She tried to bring her mind back to depressing things, like dead children. She could not. It wasn’t that she felt no sympathy or empathy for Kavik. She did. She felt terrible for him—because she loved him. And because she loved him, his touch, something she hadn’t felt in over a year, and before that, rarely if ever, was driving her insane.
He thanked her, but she remained silent, afraid of what would come out of her mouth if she spoke. But then he pulled away. She felt cold—so cold—where his body had pressed against hers. ’Is this okay?’ he asked.
Yes, she wanted to say. This is amazing.
’We don't have to do this if you don't want to.’
“I want to,” she said, breathily, quickly—to quickly. Too desperately. It took her precious seconds to realize she had even said it aloud. Her entire body felt like it was on fire; she turned away from him quickly in embarrassment. What the fuck was wrong with her? Was she in some kind of early heat? “I’m—sorry,” she stuttered, her back still to him. “I—I don’t…” She couldn’t even finish that sentence; she didn’t even know what the end of the sentence was supposed to have been. She had no idea how to recover from an admission like that. He wasn’t stupid. He was a man. Surely he had heard the need in her voice. She felt ashamed. Her tail curled around a back leg, ears folding against her skull. She dropped her head low, unable to face him.
RE: to tell you how i feel - RIP Kavik - December 30, 2019
Her answer was what he had wanted to hear, but the words sounded strange, breathy, like she was exerting herself somehow. And then she turned away, furthering his confusion. She apologized, but he didn't know why, and then her next words were an incomplete thought, which didn't help clear anything up. Concern creased his brow and he moved to sit next to her.
Grezig,he said, the word quiet and confused. He touched his nose to her cheek if allowed.
What's wrong? Did I make you uncomfortable?he asked. He shouldn't have pushed for affection so soon, but he was sad and she had told him about her son, and he just couldn't help it. Affection was how he showed he cared and how he comforted.
If I did something wrong, please tell me.He wouldn't be hurt by it; he just wanted to know so that he could avoid doing whatever it was again.
RE: to tell you how i feel - RIP Grezig - December 30, 2019
!!!MATURE WARNING: MENTIONS SEX.!!!
He… He didn’t know? Once again, her body was fire when he touched his nose to her cheek. He wanted to know what he had done wrong. He thought she was upset. Was he… blind? Deaf? She laughed, but it was mirthless. It was a laugh of surprise, disbelief. “What do you mean what’s wrong?” she demanded, turning to him again, her embarrassment and shame fading. Those feelings were replaced with ones of annoyance and desperation. How had he taken two wives and had five children without knowing the signs of a woman’s sexual needs? She stared hard at him for a moment, wondering if he was playing some kind of sick prank on her, but he seemed genuinely confused.
She sucked in a breath, puffing her chest out, and gathered her courage, determined to be obvious this time, and proud of it. Fuck their emotional baggage earlier. Fuck her awkwardness. She turned her back to him again, but this time planted her paws firmly on the ground, her legs spread farther apart than normal, and brushed her tail in his face (if allowed), before moving it out of the way. She turned and looked back at him over one shoulder. “Do you get it now, you idiot? Fuck. Me.” Her face burned and she regretted the last two words the moment they were out of her mouth, but she couldn’t take them back. So instead, she just continued to stare at him, as if daring him to do anything other than what she had demanded.
Of course, he could flat-out refuse. He could turn and walk away. He could be angry. He could be embarrassed. She had no idea what he would do. She might have just ruined whatever closeness they had gained earlier. She didn’t care. She would make her feelings and thoughts known to him, and he could do what he wanted with them. She just didn’t care anymore about having any kind of decorum. Still, she felt regret twinge her heart. He had just talked to her about losing all of his children, his wife. She cringed, turned to look at him again. Her legs trembled. In a small voice very unlike the one she had used before, she said, “Only if… if you want.”
RE: [M] to tell you how i feel - RIP Kavik - December 30, 2019
She seemed irritated by his question, and his confusion deepened. He felt her move, and then she was standing in front of him...facing the other way. He was about to ask her what she was doing but then her tail brushed against his face, and he found himself looking directly at her—she spoke and he quickly tore his gaze away. He stared at her for a few moments, unsure that he had heard her correctly. His heart rate increased and there was a familiar tightening of his stomach, one he hadn't felt in a while. Now that he was presented with the opportunity, he suddenly wanted very much to forget about everything and give her what she so clearly wanted from him.
His jaw tightened again, and his expression turned serious, his need apparent in the gaze he let drift back down before meeting her own eyes once more. He stood and closed the distance between them yet again. He nipped gently at her hip.
I've never seen you act this way before,he said, his words sounding breathless now. Another nip to her other hip. It would be so easy just to get caught up in the moment and push his concerns aside, but he couldn't do that with Grezig, not if he wanted to keep her in his life. He paused and closed his eyes, lingering near her as he was unable to step away just yet. He released a frustrated sigh against her fur.
I don't think we should do this; I can't give you anything other than friendship right now. It wouldn't be fair to you.He was breathing fast now, his restraint obviously very close to crumbling away. But he needed to make sure she understood. He was broken and vulnerable—very much in need of an escape, but if they did this, it wouldn't change anything, not yet.
RE: [M] to tell you how i feel - RIP Grezig - December 30, 2019
VERY NSFW SEXY TALK
Grezig saw Kavik looking at her, looking at the most intimate part of her. Her body was hot, from embarrassment, but also need. She saw him looking and felt… wild, reckless. Free. Untethered from herself and the way she normally acted. The way she pushed down her emotions. How boring she usually was, doing the same thing every day, thinking the same thoughts. This was new and exciting and unlike anything she had ever experienced. She’d had sex before, but neither of those men were men she had cared about. This was a wholly different phenomenon, the knowledge that someone she loved, someone she had thought about daily for the past year and more, was looking at her the way he was right now.
He came toward her and suddenly nipped at one of her hips. She sucked in a breath and released, making a noise somewhere between a gasp and a moan. She’d made such noises during sex before, but had paid them no heed. Now she was hyper-aware of every sense—sight, smell, touch, hearing. Her noises sounded loud in her ears.
’I’ve never seen you act this way before.’
“I have wanted to,” she admitted breathlessly. “With you.”
He nipped at her other hip and she made the same gasping moan. She waited, waited for him to mount her, waited to feel him inside her, but nothing happened. He had stopped. She turned to look over her shoulder again, her body trembling.
He said he didn’t think they could do this, that he could only offer her friendship and nothing else. She knew he didn’t want to hurt her, but she saw how rapidly his chest was rising and falling, the glazed look of need in his eyes.
“I do not care,” she said, her voice confident, hard, and somewhat angry. She had waited too long for this moment to let him back out so easily. “I care not if you are friend or enemy or lover right now. Right now, I want you to fuck me like you’ve never fucked another woman in your life. I demand it. We can talk more about our feelings later, rediscover our friendship later, decide if we love each other… later. I have wanted you, needed you, for a very long time.” She looked directly into his green eyes. “Now stop talking and put your cock inside me.”
RE: [M] to tell you how i feel - RIP Kavik - December 30, 2019
He found himself utterly surprised by her words. She had always struck him as an all or nothing kind of woman, and so to hear her basically demand for sex with no strings attached was...a little unbelievable. He wondered if she would feel the same way after he had taken her and her lust was sated. The logical part of his brain suggested that he just walk away and revisit this when they were both thinking clearly, but he was far too wrapped up in what was in front of him right now to listen. The sounds his touch pulled from her were enough to force all rational thought out, and now she was literally demanding that he do so.
Alright,he said, unable to stop the low chuckle that moved from his chest at her angry command.
If you're sure.It was clear his last words were teasing—he couldn't resist. He didn't immediately give her what she wanted either. He grazed his teeth along the top of her hips, looking to see what other kinds of sounds she made. And then he repeated the action up her spine. He had never seen so much emotion from her, so it was intriguing to see her unbridled side. But he was unwilling to deny them both what they wanted for very long. He had never had anyone demand sex from him before, and he found that he wanted very much to give in to that demand. The last of his reservations fell away with the last of his restraint, and he stood up on hind legs, positioning his front half carefully on her back. He was heavy, and as wrapped up in his need as he was, he wasn't so far gone that he couldn't be tender and careful not to hurt her (physically at least). His teeth found her scruff, gentle but firm as he held it between his jaws. He paused for only a few seconds, just long enough to give her one last chance to change her mind, and then he eased himself inside her. He was slow and gentle at first, allowing her time to get used to him. But he could only keep that pace for so long before he was too lost in the moment to monitor the speed and force of his thrusts. Eventually, he relinquished all of his control and let his pace be set by her cues. For once in in a very long time, he forgot who he was or what responsibilities he had or that he was broken, and that was a relief he could find no other way.
RE: [M] to tell you how i feel - RIP Grezig - December 31, 2019
this post is super rambly and weird. grezig doesn't really sound like grezig rn but whatever. she hasn't sounded like grezig the whole thread.
Grezig stopped all thinking once Kavik was inside her. Emotion washed over, though, as strong as the physical sensations she was feeling. She had no idea what emotions they were, but they were strong, nonetheless. He went slowly at first, and she rocked her hips against him impatiently. This was no longer about some slow, sultry love-making. He did not love her, so she would not let him make love to her. This was about fucking, this was about releasing pent-up lust, frustration, stagnation. Eventually, he went faster and she grunted in appreciation, noises she had never made escaping her. She didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything but him, them, together like this. Finally. For seemingly once in her life, she had gotten what she wanted. Time passed, and he eventually released inside her. She cried out passionately when it happened, her mind unable to formulate coherent thought at this point.
—
When it was over, Grezig was numb, but content. Happy, even. She turned and looked at Kavik, smiling at him tenderly, a look she had probably never given him before. In her heart and her mind, she felt much more like herself again, her raging emotions back to normal, it seemed. “I needed that,” she said, simply. “Thank you.” There was no embarrassment in her voice, no hurt, no confusion. “I have been carrying around a lust for you for… quite a long time. Perhaps that all it ever was.” She paused, aware that admitting that may have hurt his feelings. “Perhaps I do love you, still, but the pain of not having you in that way has lessened considerably.” She looked him over. “I think we are the same in many ways. Perhaps this is why I feel such a connection you. I do not know.” She smiled again. “Whatever happens in the future, I am glad for this moment.”
She didn’t know what would happen between them now. She hoped that in time, he would still come to see her as more than a friend, despite the fact that her own feelings seemed to have diminished some. It was nearly breeding season, and she carried a secret hope that she might bear his pups one day, as she had wanted to at the plateau all those months ago. “I have great respect for you,” she admitted. “You would be a good husband.” She let it go at that, not wanting to push it any further.[/b]
RE: [M] to tell you how i feel - RIP Kavik - January 02, 2020
He sat back on his haunches, legs feeling a little like jelly. He panted a little as she spoke and dipped his head in response to her thanks.
I did too,he said with a small smile; probably more than she even knew. The effects of his release were still lingering, but he knew they would be gone soon, and he would be left with his emotional burden once more. Still, he was grateful for even just the few minutes of relief he was able to get.
It didn't hurt his feelings at all that she thought it might have been just lust all this time. In fact, he hoped that was the case; then she wouldn't be in love with someone who was broken and might get her killed. But like her, he was also glad for this moment. And in love or not, he couldn't deny that he had always felt a connection to her as well.
I have great respect for you too, Grezig,he said gently. Another reason he hoped this didn't mess things up between them; he didn't want her to disappear from his life ever again. Her compliment only made him feel worse, though. He very much disagreed with the notion that he would make a good husband. Right now was a blatant example: he was grieving the death of his wives and what did he do? He had sex with someone else to make himself feel better. He thought that made him pretty selfish, but he didn't think bringing all this up would do any good. So he just didn't acknowledge her last statement, instead offering her a nuzzle to her cheek if allowed.
Let me know if you need anything else,he said quietly.
RE: [M] to tell you how i feel - RIP Grezig - January 02, 2020
Kavik seemed happier than he had minutes before, and for that Grezig was thankful. It seemed they had both needed to vent their feelings in some way or another. And they both seemed such physical beings that perhaps sex had been the easiest course of action. Grezig could remember a time in which she hardly spoke at all, but that had been long ago. The longer she had interacted with those outside of her birth pack, the more speech had become important to her. But still. There was something simple and comforting about body language, about an act as primal as sex, even a simple wag of the tail or a movement of the ears could make her feel better. Sometimes words were too hard, twisting her tongue or making it feel heavy in her mouth.
’I have great respect for you too, Grezig.’ He reached forward and nuzzled her cheek, which she allowed, closing her eyes in pleasure at his touch, though it did not shoot fire through her body as it had before. ’Let me know if you need anything else.’
“I will,” she assured him. “For now I believe I am… sated. And it seems you are too.” She gave him a bit of a wicked smile. “I will go now. To… clean up.” She needed to do some grooming around her lower body after their encounter, and she had some things to think about. The future. “Do not hesitate to come and find me later,” she told him, holding his gaze to let him know she was serious. “I will not become a stranger to you now that we are here and this has happened. But for now, I am tired and need to nap.” She stood, then, and walked away.
[Exit.]