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+--- Thread: Stone Circle But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is (/showthread.php?tid=38536)
But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is - Siarut - January 02, 2020
AW getting back into the groove with this fella
The snow wasn’t slowing, large snowflakes clouded his vision as the man breached the edge of the territory. His conversation with Takiyok having drained, Siarut aimlessly wandered, simply taking comfort in the frozen water that fell softly from the heavens. Pretending, if only for a single moment, that he was still in his family territory, on the vast snow-covered tundra plains.
Heaving a deep breath, the bear sized man tipped his nose to the sky. Offering a silent prayer to whoever ruled the clouds. Pausing briefly, the flurries continued unaware of their admirer, sitting on his haunches Siarut lost himself in his thoughts sitting in the middle of the expanse of plains that belonged to Easthollow.
RE: But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is - Blondine - January 03, 2020
twenni-two
twenni-three
twenni-fo—
oh!blondine didn't notice the stranger's presence until running into him, her eyelids opening in momentary surprise. she was quick to close them, so as to not further offend the other wolf.
i didn't see you there, she joked, assuming that they'd seen her empty sockets.
they smelled of easthollow, as was expected. the huntress kept her guard down, rather taking on a somewhat submissive posture.
i'm blondine, blondine abernathy. who're you?
RE: But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is - Siarut - January 03, 2020
He honestly didn’t find that funny, not with her situation being so serious for one of their kind. Suddenly shook from his raptured attention, Siarut turned sharply and seriously. Head cocked in irritation, “Oh um, pardon me.” He replied, the bite of his gaze not reaching the tone of his voice.
He realized then that she didn’t know who he was, and he tried to hide the grimace not that she would have seen it anyway. His absence had been noted. A new packmate who didn’t know his name, ha he really had been gone far to long. “I am Siarut, Siarut Iyaroak Ateneq.” The large man mimicked her speech pattern if only to seem more normal, his accent still heavy despite the months spent south. He honestly mostly kept to himself, conveying his adventures only to Nanook.
“What’s happened to your eyes Blondine?” He wasn’t one to beat around the bush, especially with a fellow Easthollower, at least with one who portrayed to be one of the family. But he did his best to soften the question, ease the blow, his voice holding a quiet disposition. Sympathy vs pity.
RE: But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is - Blondine - January 05, 2020
there was a formal undertone to siarut's voice that might have made blondine laugh out loud, were it not for her impeccable manners. in her mind, she mocked him — i'm siarut hooder-hodder, big bad wolf — finding the way in which he spoke to be almost offensive. it was less about what he said, none of which really offended her, but the way that it was said.
this one was taken by a wolverine, blondine said, lifting each respective eyebrow for emphasis,
and this one, i lost in a fight.despite his off-putting demeanor, she was determined to make a friend out of siarut. another smile took root on her maw as she sat back on her haunches.
after waiting for a response, she continued.
i can still do my work. don't go thinking i'm a freeloader, now.she was teasing him, hoping to lighten the mood.
RE: But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is - Siarut - January 05, 2020
just a reminder that Sia’s thoughts and opinions are not my own. I just didn’t want to make it easy for you :) don’t worry about this stern boy, he’ll come around… eventually?
Nodding his head slowly, understanding the misfortune that had befallen the woman. He was reminded of another woman some years ago, when he had first arrived in the Wilds. The battered woman, who barely survived to birth her daughter. Closing his eyes to the memory, and shaking the uneasy feeling that had befallen him, Siarut cleared his throat.
“I wouldn’t dream to think of it.” He couldn’t help the slight smile that lifted the corners of his lips, she reminded him of his sister. Takiyok. Both were straightforward thinkers, and spoke their minds.
“What are you doing out here?” His sister was yet another sore subject, and having seen her only a few days prior, Siarut preferred to steer the conversation into easier territory. “Alone, I might add.” Although he didn’t want to presume she was incapable, he didn’t see the possibility that her disability allowed her to roam safely independently. And while he meant no offense, there could be a hint of condescension hinting in his words.
RE: But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is - Blondine - January 06, 2020
my characters are a-holes. i feel it.
you think i can't handle my own?blondine wasn't offended. it wasn't the first time she'd been doubted, and could she really blame him? disabled wolves, blind wolves tended to not make it very far.
she was different, though. she was an abernathy, a girl born to men and raised like one, too. if anybody had fight, it was blondine.
i lost my eyes, darlin', she laughed, then rising to all-fours,
not my teeth.
RE: But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is - Siarut - January 06, 2020
He did doubt her. His life had been a harsh one, filled with circumstances where every sense was a necessity. Without his sight, or his hearing, or his nose, Siarut doubted he would have lived as long as he had. He wasn’t sure what he would do if confronted with such an injury. He had already overcome so much in his life, he couldn’t imagine having to endure something so significant. Pushing aside a shiver, Siarut silently shook his head.
“Hmm.” He agreed reluctantly, “But you’ve lost your aim. How will you go about using your teeth and your claws without the ability to see your target?” The words tumbled from his lips, had she been a complete stranger without relation, perhaps Siarut could have reigned in his tongue. Yet, unfortunately for Blondine, she was a packmate and as such Sia tended to be a little more laid back in his political correctness.
RE: But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is - Blondine - January 07, 2020
blondine hadn't thought about it. fighting wasn't something that she found herself doing too often, so it wasn't on her list of things to relearn. she'd been more concerned with tracking and foraging than anything else.
siarut did bring up a good point, though. there were plenty of folks who might have thought her an easy target, due to her condition.
you're asking all these questions, she laughed,
you wanna teach me?how else would she learn?
RE: But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is - Siarut - January 07, 2020
With his brow raised in surprised, his jaw fell. It had been a long time since he thought to teach anyone, and to be honest he had never thought himself as a good teacher. He remained silent, thinking, brooding. His surprise turned into a scowl. The northern bear would rather Blondine knew how to fight should anything happen. Easthollow already had a distinct lack of warriors as it was. Should anything ever happen it was always better to be prepared. She should know how to at least hold her own until someone could come to her aid.
But he also wasn’t sure if he wanted to teach anyone. He realized slowly that his silence would probably be construed as rude if he refrained from speaking to long. Clearing his throat, his snout rose to the sky avoiding looking at his companion, even though she couldn’t tell.
“I’m not a very good teacher. Nor am I without sight.” The refusal fell easily, and for a moment he was comfortable. But his nagging guilt at the idea of seeing Blondine defenseless eventually won out, realizing that someone would have to help her, and there weren’t many blind wolves who happened to be adept at fighting lingering around. With a soft sigh, his olive gaze returned to her shut lids. “But it’s my duty as your packmate to help anyway I can, and so I am here to help you with anything that I am able.”
She was in a unique position as Sia’s packmate. And while he might not call her family yet, she was still of his pack. Which meant he would do whatever it took to make sure she was safe and cared for. Even if he wasn’t the caring type, he was the protecting kind.
RE: But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is - Blondine - January 09, 2020
siarut's self-confidence must have been impeccable. blondine wondered if he felt burdened by this proposition, and if so,
you don't have to do it.she wouldn't be offended, but rather relieved to not be obligated to spend time with this man. being careful to keep a neutral expression — smile, unassuming gaze — she continued,
but i'd be mighty obliged if you did.
i'll teach you something in return, if ya'd like.while still working on her hunting, blondine was still pretty good at being a caregiver. if interested, she'd be happy to pass on some knowledge.
herbs and the like. that's my area of expertise.
RE: But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is - Siarut - January 13, 2020
Tilting his head at the proposition, Siarut shook his head. Shivering at the prospect of learning anything to do with herbs or plants, an upsetting memory surfacing at the very thought. Clearing his throat roughly, swallowing to clear the tightness that had settled. “I’ll tell you what. Nanook and I can both help you, and you can speak with her about your herbs and the like. I haven’t the mind for such things, but she has vested a fair amount of time into the art of plants.” He wasn’t sure if she would know who Nanook was, but found it didn’t matter.
She could ask if she wished, but there was no doubt they would meet soon enough. Siarut was sure she would enjoy to idea of learning more of her naturalist ways, as well as helping another with their self defense. Besides his better half was… well… just that… his better half. “Between the two of us, I’m sure we could help you defend yourself.
RE: But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is - Blondine - January 13, 2020
blondine nodded her head with a beaming smile.
i know nanook, she told him,
kind girl, very bright.while she hadn't gotten the best impression of siarut from their conversation, she did quite like the other option that he brought up.
i'll go find her eventually, she assured him, telling what was only a partial truth. they would be interacting more, but she couldn't promise it would be for mercenary lessons.
'til next time, she told him, moving to head toward her den.
RE: But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is - Siarut - January 16, 2020
Siarut nodded slowly, a warm heartfelt smile lifted his lips, he couldn’t agree more with her assessment of his mate.
“Till next time Blondine.” He watched her go, somewhat perplexed by what had just happened.