Being back was... weird, especially without her father being around and leading the pack. Even now did she look up to him, his grandeur casting a shadow she might never escape. Bronco reminded her of him - strong and sturdy and, who knows, perhaps even fatherly when push came to shove. Though she was proud of him, and of mother for sticking with him, she wondered; what was she supposed to be? With a remnant of her childhood, Wraen, now leading the pack, it was hard to ask for definitive advice.

She had learned tips and tricks during her time with the Frosthawks, though her favorite lessons included a dark woman with eyes like lightning; Raven. She had taught Nellie the basics of healing, but Nellie had a long way to go and they didn't have many healers she could learn from. Of course she could also hunt, track and knew basic, defensive fighting, but other than that? No aspirations, no dreams and especially no talents.

She was digging a new cache when Wraen came looking for her. When she spotted the green-eyed Sovereign, she chuffed a polite greeting and wagged her tail - not assuming the leader was looking for her.

She was growing fast indeed, but Nellie didn't really notice herself. She could see she wasn't a stumbling puppy anymore, getting her ass licked clean every other day, but she hadn't noticed the change until returning to the Copse. She could now look her mother in the eyes without much effort and blend in with the adults, but when she saw her reflection in the water she just saw Nellie; A selfish almost-adult, still trying to find her way.

Oh shit, Wraen actually wanted to talk with her. That was new, for they hadn't talked since... she was a pup, she guessed. Y'all still as nutty as I remember. She joked, rolling her shoulders as she continued to dig. But yeah, I guess things have changed. My friends are a lot taller than I remember - settling's going fine, nothing to complain about really. She smiled, remembering all the reunions she had had. Some had visited her, some hadn't, but everyone still felt like family. She'd been preparing to be an outcast on her way back to the Firebirds, but instead they were just all glad to have her back. It kinda made her feel even worse about leaving in the first place.

And you? My dad's position was a hard one to fill, I'm sure. But it looked like Wraen was doing a fine job in his stead. Of course, that was only how it looked on the outside with no experience leading anything. Seeing as the pack was still here and with enough food to feed everyone, things must've been going swimmingly while she'd been gone.

Nellie didn't know who'd come before Colt. She remembered him as the best dad and sovereign ever, unfairly taken out of her life and causing her to seek solitude away from home. She wanted to keep this image of her dad, close to her heart and forever bound to their broken little family. She wondered if this was what others called "daddy issues".

Thanks... for saying that. Nellie responded softly, pausing briefly in her digging. Wraen could've talked about how it hadn't been hard at all and that her father had basically meant nothing when Wraen had stepped up, but instead Nellie found a strange sense of comfort in the Sovereign's words. She wished he could've stayed with mom, Bronco and her a little longer. She didn't even understand what death was when it came to take him away.

Her ears perked up and her eyes wandered the horizon for a bit. Haven't given it much thought before. She replied honestly, for she really hadn't. She supposed leading was in her blood, with a sovereign father and a feisty mother, but somehow Nellie was afraid of not living up to their expectations. Bronco was a far better pick - he even looked more like Colt than she did. But; I guess I would want to - to make him and mom proud.

Did you want to, before you became a sovereign? She questioned.

She knew it didn't mean being worshiped and not much else. Dad had been so busy every day when he was still around. She was sure he'd been tired for a long time, especially with her and Bronco running around being little Blackthorn babies. Of course, Bronco had been the biggest handful >_>.  She listened to Wraen, but it was almost like Colt was telling her all this. He should've done so before he left.

I know - dad looked tired a lot. It's hard work keepin' a pack afloat. She responded. Frosthawks hadn't been that different either. Leading meant taking care of those who put their trust in you, not standing above it all. It sounded burdensome, but; I don't like others making decisions for me, either. Her tone wasn't offensive, just honest, but she saw the error there quickly. No offense. She added after, not meaning to offend Wraen. She hadn't told her mum she'd been staying at the Frosthawks because she knew she wouldn't have the choice to stay there anymore. She came back because it was her choice. And now, she wanted to be as selfless and noble as a Sovereign, because she chose to be. God, that was surely gonna require some work because Nellie was a selfish bum sometimes.

It was then and there that Nellie decided she wanted to be like Wraen - stepping up when the pack needed some steppin' up and gently slapping knowledge into kids. Now that seemed like a desirable position.

Nellie wasn't good at taking advice. She was pretty stoic. If you had wolves in your pack that could actually make good suggestions, of course you'd listen - but there was no denying there were some stupid ass wolves on this planet. She chuckled then. My grandparents? 'You mean aunty Finley and uncle  Elwood? She smiled. Yeah, they were pretty old, but not that old. Or were they? Did they have kids who got kids of their own? God their tree was confusing. Eljay! Eljay had had kids, and Fin and Elwood were his parents. BOOM - grandparents they were.

She took the advice to heart, but a question lingered on her tongue. Okay, but what if you have someone whose judgement and good sense you don't trust? Like, someone really dumb but nice. She questioned. Did you just ignore them and give em a little pat on the head for trying? Wouldn't they get mad?

Learning, mostly - Sparring, hunting, tracking, stargazing - the basics of it all. Raven even taught me the basics of healing! That was really cool. She answered. She had had a good time with the Frosthawks, but with such a vast array of things to pursue, Nellie didn't know what to pick for sure. She liked the idea of being a medic, but hunting and fighting came nearly natural to her. It didn't help that now she was determined to find her spot in the hierarchy as well. I don't know what I liked most.

Nellie tipped her head to the side with an "are you serious?" kind of expression. They do? She questioned, not remembering a time where something useful came out of a real dummy. She knew she wasn't the smartest around either, but she did think herself higher than a completely brainless individual.

Her eyes widened a little at the list. Was her bro already working towards a trade? That meant she was running late with making up her mind. Sugar was also training towards something specific already and she believed the handsome Figment already had his trade. This kinda pissed her off. How do you become a good advisor? Is it hard? She asked then. She'd been taught a lot already, but she'd like the hardest job there was. She'd make sure she was irreplaceable someday.

I guess I'm ahead now then. She lightly joked, ears still perked with interest and the need to soak up as much wisdom as she could. Was she a dummie? Well yes, she was accident-prone and tended to lash out whenever things got a little too emotional. An expert though? She couldn't see herself being an expert at anything. Maybe a wildcard was really all she was, just moderately good at most things that needed skill. That didn't make her feel satisfied at all.

She listened, eyes widened - the information given gave her a few ideas. 'Don't think my mom would like me being an ambassador - she's prolly gonn' think I died again. She commented a little somber. Though that does sound like, really awesome.

Oh - I'm social alright. She commented confidently. Though, everyone always finds me in the weirdest situations - like today, Fig and Sugar found me with mah big head stuck in a bush! She exclaimed, cheeks flushing a dark red underneath her fiery coat. Everyone probably knew more secrets and embarrassing stuff about her than she did about all of them combined! It didn't help that she tried to be honest either, always flapping her big mouth to reveal another thing - like just now.

She rubbed her paw against her head. Let's just hope my mom let's me go a little once I join all y'all in the adult ranks.

Nellie shrugged with a smile on her face. I guess I have interesting conversation topics now tho. She said with a chuckle. She had an image to uphold, yes, but maybe messing up every now and again wasn't the worst thing ever. If anything, she'd met some amazing people doing some really dumb shit. She wasn't going to purposefully seek out trouble, but it seemed like avoiding it altogether didn't work for anyone - not even Wraen.

I'd love to - I'll ask mum, soonish. With the cache dug and her job done, maybe it was time to go. Thanks man.