Nellie hadn't been doing much, honestly. She hung out with wolves like Fig and Bronco, made conversation with the adults and spent her time quietly filling up caches with critters. Life was peaceful - that meant it was also boring. Her few moments of feeling fulfilled and happy were with Phox; the guy who didn't break her promise and got so much shit for it, but she didn't know the latter. She knew she could confide in him and trust him with whatever; except the teeny, tiny thing about her feelings for him. She had erased the words "I like you" from her vocabulary whenever he was around, but was doubting her choices more and more.

She made her way through the copse after having finished another successful hunt - she hadn't had one in a while. She wanted to go hunt outside their borders, maybe make a little trip to the coast as she'd never formerly been there, but she knew just up and doing it was a death sentence. She thought about asking Niamh, but hadn't known how to approach her after her return. Should she just go for it then?

Mom? She asked, about a feet away from the den. What was that smell?

Hey ma. Was her somewhat monotone response, still feeling upset and guilty and all that bad stuff despite her mom acting (more) normal now. She didn't know if she was mad because Niamh had been mad, or if she was mad at herself for leaving in the first place even if she did think it had been a great move for her or because of some other weird reason. Maybe the stars weren't aligned or something, she didn't know. There was a foreboding feeling in the pit of her stomach where not even rabbit's remains could reach. She scooted a little closer at the invitation, but kept from cuddling or anything that came close to intimacy.

She started nibbling at the rabbit and sniffed it a bit. The strange scent wasn't coming from their meal, so it had to be Niamh. Nellie nodded. Yeah, sometimes. Was her answer, short and to the point. I like huntin' - but there's so little to hunt inside the territory. Perhaps it was a jab at her over protectiveness, perhaps it was just a statement Nellie believed to be true; all she knew was that she wanted Niamh to feel something when she'd said it. She sniffed again. What's that smell? She asked at last.

Right - but Nellie didn't want to be a lunch lady. She wanted to be a great hunter - like Phox - and she had had her fun with rabbits and squirrels, but the reward was so small for the effort she put in and she was ready for something new. She wanted to see what else was out there - explore just a little more of the vast wilds around them, if only to boast that she'd done it and brought back a meal for the pack. A 'Jack-of-all-trades' - as Wraen had described her - wasn't meant to be kept in the territory like some kind of pup. Soooo... She started. Does that mean I can join the next huntin' party? She asked with a tiny, hopeful smile.

And then everything got a little panick-y again. She hadn't thought about asking her mom about baby stuff yet, not since Bronco had revealed some world-shattering truths to her. She was a little more interested in having this conversation now, and had had her freak-out about it already so that wasn't an issue this time. She shook her head, embarrassed about how little she knew. Bronco said he wasn't tellin' me shit 'bout it, and I can't figure it out on my own. She was hoping she could've asked Phox, not realizing what an awkward situation that would've become. I don't get it - how do they get in y'ar belly? It doesn't make a lick'o sense.

This was torture, and Nellie was about to give up on her dreams on ever leaving the copse till the real answer came. Her face lit up a bit and her appetite returned, scoffing at the notion of Bronco getting better at hunting than her. Pff - he may be better at fightin', but he'll never beat me on tha huntin' grounds. He was too broad and bulky for all the tiny things that went into hunting, especially small game. Nellie was, in her perception, quicker and maybe even more agile. Sure, Bronco could sit on her and she wouldn't be able to go anywhere, but prey wasn't gonna allow him to do that.

Two years - heat - conceive. Nellie luckily didn't check any of those boxes and she let out a small sigh of relief. Then panick returned to her, thinking about Niamh checking at least 2 of them. She was older than two and now she was in heat - did that mean she still had to 'conceive'? How did that happen? Would she be getting more annoying siblings, it was hard enough having only Bronco as her rival and partner in discomfort. Nellie assumed that becoming a mother also required a father, and that meant it was a no for the more siblings part because their father was dead and surely Niamh wasn't over Colt yet.

Holy shit I was inside you... She said softly after her story, shaking her head to get rid of the third-or-so mindblow this week. But wait - ya go into heat, and then the pups just... happen? What did dad do to become our, well, dad then?

Someone stroking her broken ego just a little bit felt really good actually, and made her even more determined to try to become a hero but end up a total failure become irreplaceable. She wanted to mean something, she just hadn't figured out what yet. An advisor, hunter, sovereign... It all seemed just a little far fetched and she had a lot left to figure out. Maybe she wasn't the young adult she thought she was after all, and maybe Niamh had been right in treating her like a kid (but she was never going to admit that to her face, are you mad?)

Silently, she compared their paws - there wasn't much difference now... How'd she grow so fast? She could only barely remember stumbling about on stubby legs. No wonder mothers were so attached to their babies - when they come into the world the size of a paw, of course you'd think they're going to need your protection forever. She listened to the process, replayed it in her head and got a weird visual with all the descriptions.

That sounds like... really gross. She laughed, but her tail was thumping softly on the ground. I care about a lot of y'all, but doing that? Nah thanks... Well, maybe just one of y'all. Ohno, word vomit.

Hell yeah someone had - Phox had her practically swooning already, even before she knew of this whole sexy stuff thing. She couldn't really imagine her doing it, with anyone for that matter, but maybe if he did it - it would just be a little less gross? She smiled then - much older - yeah, right. Maybe the desire to do something that weird really did come with age. She certainly never had had the natural instinct to hump,she doubted she would have it now that she knew what it was for and what it could do. Nellie agreed, she was too young for the sex thing, but the caring-about thing wasn't completely out of the picture.

She nodded. Yeah, he's real cool - he's, nah - you're gonna laugh at me. She made a little XD face. She knew about Phox and hers age gap, but it wasn't like she was falling for a grandpa or something. He was just a handsome man, what more could she say?

Nellie chuckled. She luckily knew relatives weren't meant to be boyfriends (or girlfriends), so her going after her brother or cousins were a big no-no - as funny as that would've been from our godly perspective. Maybe somewhere on their family tree Phox was related, somehow, but if so it was so distant that it should probably be okay. Even if it wasn't, who could stop feelings that were already there? Just because Phox was maybe family (or maybe her new step-daddy) didn't mean all her stupid feelings for him were just gonna pack their stuff and go.

Hmm... More like, orange-y? But better. She answered, not great at describing him all poetically. Stories? Sure, but Phox was real and she felt awkward describing him as handsome as he really was.

SPEAK OF THE FECKING DEVIL THERE HE WAS. Nellie swallowed awkwardly. H-Hey. She said, nearly puking. WHY NOW AND WHY HERE.

She observed them ever so quietly. Nellie knew they were friends, but her friends certainly didn't come visit her - especially not if she'd been in... heat. Whether that was the reason Phox was here or not, Nellie thought it to be and she started grabbing at puzzle pieces that weren't even there yet. The picture would be complete if they were just friends and nothing more, but why did she get this awkward feeling that that wasn't the case? No way, Niamh wasn't gonna replace Colt with Phox, she thought - especially not if she knew Nellie liked-liked him. Her mouth got dry, was it that rabbit?

She chuckled nervously, the compliment not hitting her like it had done before with just the two of them. I-I can go get some right now, ma, if you're still hungry. She said a little hastily. She needed air and out of this den, but she couldn't get her legs to lift her up. It was like she was waiting on her heart to break, all it would take was the confirmation that what she thought was happening was indeed happening.

God, how warm was it here? If she had the ability to sweat, she'd be dripping right now. She'd felt fine just moments ago, couldn't they just go back to that - to before Phox showed up and had to make things all weird? Or... was she the one being weird? Was there actually nothing going on between them? She wanted to shoot for the stars with her future lover, and while she thought that guy was Phox, maybe she was just getting everything confused. Yes, yes, confusion was definitely what made this whole thing so darn awkward, not the looming possibility that her crush was banging her mom - cause that couldn't be what was happening.

Well - maybe - hey, Phox, you hungry? She faked a grin, pretty obviously. B-Better sharpen my senses if we're all goin' on that hunt, someday, huhuhu. Finally, her legs listened to her - squeezing out of the den was another challenge. In her rush, she tripped here and there and generally seemed a disjointed mess of a wolf right now. Get it out y'er head Nel - Maybe if she took another trip down that hill, face-down, she could forget all of this had happened it the first place.

Though her question had been more of an excuse for her to get the hell out of here and not an invitation for anyone, she did almost kinda hope that Phox would be up for a little hunt together soon. She kept that wide grin on her face, her cheek muscles beginning to get a little painful but her facade had to be perfect. She wasn't a great liar, nor one to cope with a stressful situation in the best way possible, so yeah this was all pretty in character for her. She wanted to run away from the two, but didn't - Damn it, why didn't she run?

Because you don't want those two to be alone together. The realization hit her like a hamster with two flashlights - also known as a truck - and dying right on the spot seemed more and more alluring. She couldn't let them go have a drink together with Niamh in the weird state she was in - she was not gonna let Phox be the baby daddy of her siblings and she wasn't gonna let Niamh be a slut so soon after her real father's death.

Yeah - now that you brought it up, my mouth is kinda dry, eheh. No one was getting pregnant on Nellie's jungle gym.