Stavanger Bay forever and always

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forever and always - Thistle Cloud - August 12, 2014

""
Thistle woke with a start and was unsure where she was for a moment until she blinked and realized she was tucked neatly in the family den her children on all sides of her. She smiled at them for a moment, she did not see anyone else, so she slowly rose to her feet, anxious to stretch and she had to relieve herself anyway. As she stepped into the open morning air, a small gasp came forth from her maw as the brisk cool weather took her breath away. She lifted muzzle to the sky and sniffed, fall was coming it made her a bit nervous to be honest. It seemed earlier than usual and she wondered how the weather would fall and how they all would fare. With Julooke expecting babies, and Nerian possible expecting babies when the time came, well she was unsure what to do about it. She would have to stock up on a lot of things. She would need to leave the bay at some point, she needed to find some chamomile among other things for once the early winter weather hit.

She sighed and her breath came out in the dewy morning air a small breath of air, visible in the condensed air around her. She needed to talk to Ragnar too, let him know she was okay now, well not completely but she wasn’t going to bite his head off if he looked at her wrong or rip him apart for coming too closely. She had missed him and it was high time she apologized or something to that affect, she wasn’t sure if she would really apologize of if she would just tell him she was sort of okay now. The pups would sleep for some time still and laying muzzle to the ground she followed his trail, hoping to catch him before he got too busy, she broke out in a shapely lope looking for him her tail swaying gently behind her in gentle kind.

She was still rather torn on what other trade she wished to follow, and she thought perhaps too that @Ragnar could come up with another one for her, but she was unsure what it might be. She sniffed once twice and continued on. She thought about warden, but she was not strong enough, she could be a warrior too, but to her it didn’t make much sense to be a warrior and a healer, when her love lied with healing. She wrinkled her nose snorting gently.

RE: forever and always - Ragnar - August 14, 2014

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Ragnar had been pleasantly surprised when Thistle had moved back into the Jarl den so soon after deciding she had wanted space and had left them for the short period of time. Her presence had been felt like a gaping hollow hole in the scarred Scandinavian's chest, missing the feel of her body against his. Nerian occupied the side of Ragnar that had always been pressed up against the wall of the den, before, and though he reveled in the touch and presence of his Priestess Wife he wanted his Queen Wife, as well. The whole point of taking them both as his wives was so that he didn't have to choose between them. He wanted them both and so he would have them both. It had sounded much, much better in theory. In practice, it was not nearly as smooth of a transition as Ragnar had hoped it would have been. He was grateful for Thistle's selflessness in the manner, at agreeing not to kill him (after all that was the deal) not that he would have stopped her if she had tried. He didn't fear death and would have welcomed Valhalla with open arms. Despite her return, however, she had not slept against her side of his body but instead a little bit away, with the children. In the time after Nerian and the children had drifted off he had kept shooting her looks, in hopes that she would understand what he was trying to communicate with her; whether she, too, had fallen asleep or was ignoring him was unknown to Ragnar but eventually he had given up and allowed himself the respite of raven filled dreams.

The ravens brought with them the confirmation that he was doing the right thing, that Odinn was not mad at him, that this was still within the realm of fulfilling what the All-Father had brought him here to do in the first place. Ragnar had awoken the next morning right before the sun had begun to rise in the sky, disentangled himself from Nerian, offered both of his wives goodbye kisses despite that he assumed they were still slumbering at that point and headed off towards the borders to patrol and refresh. He was still doing that, even now, having taken a break to take food to his new pet, Nightshade, and to feed himself before resuming them once more. Silver platinum paws were slightly sticky with the dew that clung to the blades of grass, the morning cooler than they had been in quite some time, offering a respite from oppressive heat as to which Ragnar was grateful for.

It was the sound of approaching footfalls and the familiar scent of Thistle, of sunlight, vanilla and lilacs that caressed his black, leathery nostrils and caused the scarred Scandinavian to draw to a halt. "Drottning," Ragnar drew her title in old Norse before he turned to face her and moved to close the distance between them without asking her permission. He didn't really care. He drew up alongside and made to brush his muzzle against hers, and if she let him pepper her jaw and throat with sultry kisses that exclaimed in the ways he had missed her. "I have missed your body and smell," He told her honestly, his heart giving a painful palpitation as he realized that he had missed her with much more than that but for the sake of not wanting to be overbearing, or hearing her call him a liar kept it to himself, for now. In truth, though, he had missed her with his heart and that thing that Nerian insisted he had called a soul. "It was torture last night having you so close but so far away from me." The Viking murmured into the soft fur at the cusp of her ear.

RE: forever and always - Thistle Cloud - August 14, 2014

"Ha-ha he’s cute"

Thistle had meant to stay away longer, but whether she was a glutton for punishment or she was more adaptable than she thought she was, she had returned. She missed her children and her husband, and a pleasant surprise that Nerian’s presence did not bother her as much as she thought it would. She was sure she had surprised her husband, but well what did he expect she did love him regardless of how angry at him she got. And she had given permission for this triad. She had fallen asleep easily and quickly and had not noticed her husband’s looks, though if she had she probably would have ignored them anyway, he couldn’t force her to do what he wished all the time. Thistle had truth be told not even thought of poisoning him, because she had told him if he strayed she would, but he had asked before and he had waited for her permission anyway. So, that was a different arrangement and agreement as it were anyway.

Thistle had felt his kisses, but had still been in deep slumber, sleeping heavier there in the den than she had days prior. Perhaps it was the presence of him that had caused her easier and deeper sleep, she wasn’t sure. This cool air, made her shiver slightly, but it was also nice compared to the heat that had been and the humidity that had been eating them all alive, the sun beating down. However, this too meant that winter would be coming rather quickly and it made her nervous too, she would have to check with him to see if she should be having hunts, she was no gamekeeper, but she could certainly organize them if their caches were running low. Especially with babes on the way with Julooke and if her husband had his way with Nerian as well, though not yet.

Thistle had been following his scent and he caught hers before she saw him, but her gaze found large back as he spoke in his own native tongue. She enjoyed hearing him speak Norse; it suited him so much better than the language she had been born into. Thistle gave him a smile when he turned a genuine one this time that was neither sad nor scathing as they had been. She was surprised, but pleased at his show of affection and she hummed in her throat at his words. She chuckled at him is that all you have missed I should endeavor to make you miss me more than that. She laughed then quietly, but truly and looked up at him with blue eyes realizing she was no longer angry, she was still hurt and the thoughts that she had spoken to him of being second best were still there, but she kept them down. Forcing them further down each time they threatened to overtake her, she realized she would always feel this way, but she could do her best to ignore it for now, and just be happy that she still had him. Her lips twitched, Maybe I’ll move closer tonight and a little more each night, until I’m back where I belong hmmm? She was teasing him without a doubt, but she enjoyed it hoping he wouldn’t take it badly.

RE: forever and always - Ragnar - August 15, 2014

He tries to be sometimes, lol

Ragnar had already begun making plans for fall and winter, knowing that they needed to be orchestrating large hunts, gathering what they could and encouraging the fill of caches to the brink and the creation of new ones when necessary. It would be more work, and extra up keep yet it would serve invaluable if the winter proved to be a bad one. Ragnar was skilled at weathering bad winters. The North was unforgiving and harsh during the Winter season and he was rather confident in his abilities to lead them through it. At times, they prey disappeared all together in and near the Cove and they were forced to crack through the thinner ice of their creeks to fish, and to rely on the gifts of the Sea. He had been conceived in the worst winter since the Cove's creation and had weathered a bad Spring, yet the Gods had seen to give them relief during the summer months as Kenna had told it many times. "I have missed much more than that," Ragnar conceded in a low, truthful murmur. "I would not be against persuasion, however," He teased placing a sultry kiss on the corner of her mouth.

If she was willing to instigate intimacy he wouldn't turn it down, knowing at least, that way that she wanted it and wasn't just giving it to it because he wanted it. "Or you could take your rightful spot beside me, as I've kept it warm for you," He wasn't sure what it would be like sleeping between two women but he was excited to experience it, with Thistle on his right and Nerian on his left. Where the both of them belonged: by his side.

RE: forever and always - Thistle Cloud - August 15, 2014

Thistle had forgotten of the harshness of the North that her husband told her, if she had remembered she probably would not have been so anxious about the impending winter coming. She was more worried for puppies than anything, because Nerian’s children if she did have them and Julooke’s too would be in fall and winter and well those were not good months for babies, more died that way than any other way. It filled her with discontent and ill will.

Thistle gave him a soft smile, tendrils of doubt creeping in mind and almost out, but she tampered it down and kept those thoughts to herself. It did not do good for anyone, for her to be so doubtful and hurt. She was trying to do the best she could with her circumstances, but she could not help but feel slighted. But again she kept it to herself. She chuckled at his words I could probably think of ways to persuade you husband. She chuckled again a soft gentle sound.

Realizing that she had enough of this distance she slid underneath his head and nipped gently at her preferred shoulder and lay her head on his shoulder and stood there quietly for a moment, taking the time to gather herself tighter to herself and also to have the husband she had craved for a brief moment. I like my idea better She teased him quietly It will give you patience I think she chuckled softly against him.

Thistle sighed then and spoke softly I was actually looking for you Ragnar. I wanted to tell you I’m okay now, well as okay as I am going to get, but I wanted you to know that. She didn’t move, didn’t want too And to seek permission to leave the pack lands I know you want someone with us at all times, I was thinking of taking both Nerian and perhaps Julooke though i worry if i take her since she is newly pregnant? I need some more herbs for the winter, I think it is going to be a hard one and with Julooke’s babies and potential other babies from Nerian I need to make sure I can keep them all alive. And you’ll need more furs in the Jarl’s den.

RE: forever and always - Ragnar - August 17, 2014

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"I do not doubt it," Ragnar murmured when Thistle informed him that she could think of ways to persuade him. Ragnar stood still as she drew against him, nipping gently at his un-scarred shoulder, before he felt the weight of her head resting there. "Or it will make my impatience in the matters of women worse," He teased her in return though he was more likely to believe himself than her. He was patient when it came to war, but not when it came to things that he wanted. It was a complete contradiction of himself but he was canine and hardly perfect. They, as imperfect beings, were filled with contradictions. "I guessed as much when you moved back in," Ragnar admitted with a soft smirk that he knew she could not see but it pulled at the edges of his lips subconsciously, nevertheless. "Thank you for telling me though, my Queen," He murmured devilishly. He had always called her that before, when he was nothing but just another subordinate in Horizon Ridge. Now, however, he had been given the power to make it true and had taken it. He trusted Thistle, which spoke a lot since he was not easy to trust.

"I would like Julooke to stay within Stavanger Bay lands at all times," Ragnar told Thistle firmly. "If the man that attacked her were to go after her again she may not make it out alive," She had been extremely lucky the first time, lucky still that harm had not seemed to befall the children growing in her womb though at the time none of them had been aware of her pregnancy. He had almost volunteered to escort his wives on their trek but then realized he could not leave the pack without an Alpha, and let out a soft sigh of discontent. "If you do not go far I could escort the both of you," He put the offer out there for her. "The boys are not old enough or trained to do much of anything protection wise," Which he intended to fix rather soon. They were old enough to pursue apprenticeships and Stavanger Bay could really use their help."I do not want to leave Stavanger Bay without one of us."

RE: forever and always - Thistle Cloud - August 17, 2014

Jeesh all these women wanting pieces of Ragnar…thistle is seriously going to have to start being all fierce and mean and stuff lol, BE like My man and Nerians BTFO

Thistle chuckled at his quiet murmur. Thistle laughed out loud, You have no patience for much but war and politics my dearheart. But I love you anyway. She grew quiet, but snorted gently at his tone of voice, Perhaps I just missed our children? she teased him gently, it wasn’t true she had missed him too, but she was happy today, and felt like teasing. He stood still and she stayed that way for a moment and then she too backed up to give him some space, she may have been okay now, but it didn’t mean that he still wasn’t upset with her way of acting, though she would still argue that it was justly deserved. She dipped her muzzle at him when he called her his queen.

Thistle nodded Very well I will not take Julooke. Do you know anything of this male? Should Nerian and I be worried or do you think it was due the moon that night, I have heard the moon affects things strangely? Her brow furrowed as she thought of this, a little unsure, if she didn’t need the herbs or if she could find them in the forest she would not go anywhere, nor would she take Nerian. Nerian was not a fighter, nor was she, but she was more violent than the priestess and could hold her own if needed, which Nerian maybe could too, surprise her that is. I would like for you to go Ragnar, but I do not know how far I will have to go to get what I need, I was hoping to check the meadows here first and see if I could find it. I imagine that Beric or Surra could escort us too if you couldn’t Surra has already offered his assistance before, and Beric is a loyal male, I do not think he would say no if you or I were to ask. But we can probably make a short trip first, and then if we need to go further we can go a different day. She frowned thinking hard.

Thistle nodded her head yes we should probably get them started on apprenticeships, they are both good boys and Gyda should learn something too, but the girl is so strong willed I do not know if she will be hard to teach or not. She smiled a little bit, at the thought of her daughter’s hard headed nature and the boys who were eager to please, it was interesting the dynamic of all of them.

RE: forever and always - Ragnar - August 18, 2014

*wracks brain* What women? :O [size=-3]It's too early go to bed Tokio[/size] :P

"The only things a man must have patience for," Ragnar teased her, brushing the side of his face against hers in an almost feline like gesture. "If they were all that you missed you'd have taken them to your get away den with you," Ragnar reasoned out with confidence though, in honesty, he was simply taking a stabbing guess. "Only what Julooke has told me, and I scent a pack scent but it was female so that meant that someone had been watching," He had the mind to search until he found the pack scent that matched and demanding answers, not realizing that the male that had attacked Julooke was now apart of that same pack. "The moon is no excuse and I don't care. No woman or child is leaving these lands without an escort," He had passed along the message in a howl later that night figuring that if anyone had any questions or concerns they could have sought him out and voiced them. Especially not his wives or children. "I know it is annoying and seems excessive but I don't want to know life without you," Ragnar admitted a tad sheepishly. He wasn't good at admitting his feelings, unsure how to put the intensity in which he loved Thistle into words. Common or Norse. "I would go mad if someone happened to you, if I lost you." He realized that likely his most recent actions and the whole polygamy thing might not have made it seem that way to her but he spoke from his heart. Ragnar didn't lie about things like that, if only because he hardly ever felt them.

"She had a dedicated interest in the festival, but I do not know how to incorperate that interest in trades...I will speak to her about it." Perhaps somewhere away from her brothers. Just the two of them, having some much needed and long overdue father and daughter time. "I wish Junior would have stayed. It would have done Gyda good to have another female around,” At this point she would have to wait until Ragnar and Nerian had children but even then there was no guarantee that any of them would be girls.

RE: forever and always - Thistle Cloud - August 18, 2014

I’m talking the gossip thread and all the women showing up at the borders.

Thistle hummed softly as he brushed his face across her, licking the side of his muzzle gently. Thistle raised her brow Would I have knowing that you would not be happy if I did? Or even let me? Hmm? She reasoned right back a flash of tease in her eye. Thistle listened calmly, a furrow in her brow line, unsure what to say to that. I know it is not an excuse, it was just simply something I have heard. I am not annoyed or find it excessive, I think you show good judgement. I was merely questioning whether or not such a man would be foolish enough to linger near?

Thistle heard his next words with surprise written on her face, she laid her ears back and then flicked one forward, like flicking a fly, unsure what to say and how to answer. Of course she felt the same, but did he really feel that way? His actions proved otherwise often, and she had heard him talking to Nerian heard the softer tone of voice, she was merely a replacement, but too far invested for him to let alone was she not. She was unsure how to proceed, but knew she could not, would not let him think that she didn’t feel that way too. So she offered him a smile that made her eyes laugh at him, but held a serious air with the words that followed I do not think I would survive it Ragnar if something were to happen to you. I love you far too much to be alright. So in that we feel close to the same. She grew quiet then and moved forward again to lick gently at a spot on his neck pulling gently at his scruff and nipping at his shoulder only to soothe with lick if he would allow her. She felt as if she was dancing on tip toes around him, unsure what to say or how to say it, and appreciating everything he said to her, but unsure how to take it since so many promises lay in tatters at her paws, some by her own design, but they were still tatters.

She upturned an ear to listen and hmmmed deep in her chest as she thought about it. I do not know either, perhaps a caretaker because she was taking care of the pack, but she is far to young to go after that trade yet, I do not know if she has an interest in healing, she does tend to wrestle with her brothers, maybe a warden or warrior. She could be a shield maiden even. She frowned as she thought hard about the trades that would suit the children We could always see about getting Junior one of these days to spend time with Gyda perhaps? Her father did not seem to mind allowing her here for visits.

RE: forever and always - Ragnar - August 19, 2014

Ah. ;P

"I do not pretend to know her attacker's motives but if he did not get what he wanted from her...sex or her death, he very well might." Ragnar knew the types well enough, he liked to think. Still, he did not want any woman or child to leave Stavanger Bay unescorted despite the trouble and irritation that it may cause. The irritation was easily dealt with, easily dismissed by the Jarl whereas the thought of a male out there with the intent to rape the women, or kill them even ...that was not something that Ragnar wanted on his conscious. It was better to be safe and annoyed that keep the scars that would surely linger forever from either event, such as Julooke carried. He wasn't changing his mind on his deceleration; the woman and children could deal with it, or they could stay within the safety of Stavanger Bay. A small furrow in his brow formed when she spoke that they felt close, telling him exactly what he had feared without her needing to question him or say it outright. Thistle did not believe him. Her wording was enough to tell him that and it stabbed at his heart, slashed like an axe. He could never convince her that he needed her just as much as she needed him, that he loved her as much as she loved him ...that he could love two women at once, without sacrificing the love of the other in the process. He couldn't even convince her of it when it had just been them, when Nerian hadn't even been in the equation.

"They will only be apprentices until they are a year old, my love." Meaning that they could apprentice in which ever trade they wanted, without reservations. "Gyda is not a shield-maiden," She didn't show any of the drive for it, not like Junior had. "She has shown no initiative for it, and that is alright," Not all women could be shield-maidens, after all. It didn't make them any less of a woman. "She will take whichever trades she wants, and we will not influence her. The same with the boys." He would not tell them what they could and could not be. It was their life, not his. He held no expectations other than they apprentice in something and do their part as contributing members of the pack. Otherwise he would be forced with the obligation of having them seek a new home. It was not fair of him to hold it toward his subordinates but wave it for his children. There were no exceptions, not even for blood or love.

RE: forever and always - Thistle Cloud - August 19, 2014

ah my heart hurts for Ragnar now your turn to knock me in the feels lol

Thistle listened quietly and tilted her head a small growl of disgust in her throat. Males like that, they were exactly like the male that had first taken her’s mother’s love. He had taken her heart and stomped on it over and over again, until she had barely anything left of herself, but a shadow. She had persevered though with the love of husband, of Thistle’s father. I do not understand males like that. That need to use a woman to their whims like that to abuse them and use them and treat them so viciously just to watch them break over and over again. Those scars never leave you know not ever, they are always there. It causes them to be afraid of shadows and other males and sometimes, sometimes they push away all that they love to keep what’s left of their shredded heart and soul intact. She frowned as she realized something at that moment, she was doing the same thing to Ragnar, she was pushing and pushing, because she did not wish to end up like her mother, broken and bruised after he tired of her, and she sighed with a furrow in her brow.

She lifted azure gaze to his face and saw the furrow there. A gentle smile traced her muzzle as she leaned forward and brushed her own across his brow. Such Furrows dear heart. She thought about her words and realized how they could be taken, but didn’t exactly know how to fix it. She had not meant to upset or make him sad. She had merely meant that he would go mad , she would die, they were similar but different. As for questions of love, he would not see it from her side. See why she questioned when he treated the two women so differently, she hadn’t even been around him and her, a lot, but she had been there enough. Saw how he had needed Nerian to say she loved him, he had never needed that from her, which just made her assume more so that she was not who he truly loved.

She didn’t understand, but perhaps it was not him, perhaps she was already broken when he found her, a broken woman because her mother had been broken. She had watched her mother’s daily struggle to accept love, to take it without expecting a beating, or to be shared among her father’s friends. Her father had not been that way, but Fang he had. She looked at him and then down and spoke candidly I know you love me Ragnar, I know that and I know it is a very encompassing. I don’t understand how I’m not enough, that is all and no do not explain I did not come here to argue or fight or complain or belittle. I came to be with you, because I missed you, because I love you. I don’t want answers to questions that will never give me a satisfactory answer. Perhaps I am greedy and selfish, but it is also that simple. She grew quiet then and lifted azure eyes to his and gave him a small smile, deciding at that moment that it didn’t matter anymore, it couldn’t matter if she wanted to survive and love, and be loved. She had been telling herself for days that it didn't matter, that it shouldn't matter, but it had mattered and it still did, but it couldn't and she wouldn't let it kill what she did have. Her own misgivings her own trust issues she would just have to bite down hard on and tamper down, because frankly she refused to lose what she did have on sadness and pain. She would not like the situation, would always doubt different things, but she could certainly not let him know. She shrugged then.

Flicking her ears forward as he spoke with her. She dipped muzzle I was not saying influence her, I merely meant so she has another girl to play with, though I strongly believe Junior thinks she is not supposed to be a woman. She chuckled to herself then, the girl took many risks and she was no doubt a fiery and strong shield maiden, she would make a good queen someday, a great one in fact.

RE: forever and always - Ragnar - August 21, 2014

For a second, Ragnar thought Thistle had gone on another rant about him, and for reasons that he could not shake he thought that perhaps she was speaking of him. Ears slicked back to his skull like a child being reprimanded, panic quickening within his breast at the thought that Thistle, despite just saying that she was ok, despite agreeing to trying the polygamy relationship with him would leave him because she thought of him as the type of man she was currently ranting about. He didn't see the wrong with it because it did not lessen the love he felt for Thistle, nor he desire for her any and yet ...she didn't believe him. Had never truly believed him because she had had serious doubts about his words before Nerian had even came into the picture. Had that been a subconscious development borne of how Crete had taken through advantage of her? It was possible, Ragnar deduced. It was Thistle's touch, the brush of her muzzle against his brow that had brought him back to the surface of reality and out of his train of thoughts.

Thistle spoke that she knew that he loved her but didn't understand how she wasn't enough. Just as Ragnar had parted his lips to explain she cut him off and told him that she didn't want to hear an explanation. He desired to tell her; to speak that it wasn't that she wasn't enough. It had nothing to do with one woman being enough for him. He didn't think like that. It was an act of possessiveness, of wanting Nerian too, of not wanting any man other than him to have her or touch her. She was a free woman now, yes, but she was still his just as much as Thistle was his. He was a little miffed that she had opened the door to that conversation but then slammed it quickly in his face.

"Junior is a little too rough and tumble for Gyda," Ragnar wasn't sure what to do for Gyda, his Viking Princess. She was so quiet and delicate and not very sociable that he wasn't sure if there was anything that he could do for her other than give her the attention she desired of him.

RE: forever and always - Thistle Cloud - August 21, 2014

Thistle watched as his ears slicked back and hadn’t even realized that he would have thought she was speaking of him until just that moment. He didn’t hear a word she said she didn’t think far too lost in his own thoughts. She studied him for a moment with concern. When he came back to reality she was staring at him at a loss. Are you okay? I wasn’t talking about you just then. I was talking of someone else. Someone my mother knew. She grew quiet then not sure if she wished to tell him or anyone really of her mother and the abuse she suffered, finding it uncomfortable to speak about when it was her story not Thistle’s.

Because Thistle’s head had been down as she spoke, she did not see him part his maw to say anything. It was probably a good thing for him that he didn’t speak what had been in his mind. Thistle did not belong to anyone; she was not an item to be passed from ownership to ownership. She was a free woman, her own being. She could make choices, she had feelings and thoughts and opinions and that alone probably would have made her a little angry. She did however notice his slight annoyance on the matter. She tilted her head and looked at him, as she sat down to her haunches, her tail sliding back and forth across the ground content at the moment.

Thistle snorted at her husband Ragnar, Gyda beats up her brothers. Granted I think they let her, but she gives as much as she takes. I believe she is much stronger than we think and honestly her quietness I believe was merely her throwing a hissy fit because we moved.

RE: forever and always - Ragnar - August 22, 2014

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It seemed that his expression had became a little bit more transparent that he had initially thought it had for Thistle was staring at him in a manner he might attribute to staring at him helplessly and inquired as to his well being, making sure to include that she hadn't been speaking about him. Despite her attempt to reassure him, he didn't feel very reassured. "But I have broken you," Ragnar wasn't ignorant and despite that he didn't understand why she had initially been so upset with him about it, it did not mean that he was blind to it. It didn't mean that he didn't feel her pain. "I do love you Thistle, I really, truly do, but I have always had a hard time making you believe it. Even before Nerian came along," Despite her wishes for him not to say anything he had to get this out. It would only claw at his chest like a caged, enraged animal if he did not. "I am not Crete. I will never leave you, and if you chose to leave me I wouldn't let you go. Not without the fight of my life," He was selfish. To want, to love and to have both women. Still, he could not and would not exchange either of them for the world.

When the conversation took it's shift to Gyda he allowed it to drop, offering a slightly sheepish smirk that he had disobeyed her but felt better to get it off his chest, nevertheless. He listened to Thistle speak of Gyda, shaking his head softly in the denial of a father. Perhaps he saw of Gyda only what he wanted to see. A little girl that needed her father to protect her from the world. Ragnar did not think it was so much for him to wish for, to want his little girl to seek comfort in him, to want him to take on the Gods if it meant keeping her safe from harm. The boys didn't need him to protect them and he did not want or expect them to need it. They were boys, they would one day become men and be in charge of protecting their own wives and children. A man can be jealous of his sons but his daughters can always be the light of his life; Floki's words held an eerie truth to them. "I know." Ragnar responded with a great reluctance and a soft sigh.

RE: forever and always - Thistle Cloud - August 22, 2014

It wasn’t that he had been transparent for Thistle it had been simply that she had learned his little cues. Ragnar She licked his face softly you didn’t break me fully, just a little bit I’ll heal I promise. And Ragnar I know you love me, I don’t understand how you can love two of us and how I am not all you need, when you are all I need. That is what I meant. And Ragnar part of that reason, was simply because you have told me from the beginning that you are unable to love, for the most part, and then you say you love me, but then Nerian comes back and it is as if I don’t matter anymore. So to me you have always loved, you just didn’t realize you could, until me, I cannot say anything bad about her, I cannot defend myself to her none of that without you defending her or yelling at me about her...and you don’t even realize it so yes Ragnar it is hard for me to believe you…and it just…I don’t know Ragnar I don’t know how else to word it. You need her more than you have ever needed me. she grew quiet contemplative, she hadn’t wanted this today, hadn’t wanted more arguments more fighting hadn’t wanted it. I didn’t want this to happen today, I am tired of defending myself, and of fighting and arguing. I just wanted to find you and try and fix it, and maybe talk about trades and love you a little bit.

She stared at him at the mere mention of her ex lover and spoke softly I did not love Crete, Ragnar, he was lust and hormones and I was young and naïve…still am young for the most part naïve not so much anymore. It did not bother me so much that he had left, and even if you hadn’t come along and I hadn't fallen in love with you, it wouldn’t have bothered me I would have continued on to the best of my abilities. She sighed and sat down heavily; she didn’t know what else to say to make him understand, because he didn’t understand and she was at a loss.

She saw his sheepish smile and shook her head with a small smile insufferable you are Ragnar Loðbrók. Thistle heard his sigh and lifted her head and moved closer to her husband leaning against his chest and nibbling gently at his neck and ear, Oh Ragnar our daughter and daughters will always need you. They will always be their daddy’s little girls. Trust me I am one. She grew quiet and slid teeth across his shoulder teasing and tantalizing.

RE: forever and always - Ragnar - August 24, 2014

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He felt the glide of her tongue against his face but it and her words did nothing to soothe the Berserker, despite this he gave her his full attention, regardless. "The same way that I love all of my Gods, not just Odinn," Odinn was his favorite, of that there was no doubt, the one that Ragnar had the most connection too out of all of them, but he loved the others too. It was hard for him to explain, mostly because he didn't think he was saying it right. "It's not that you're not enough, I do not know, Thistle. I do not know to explain it to you." He didn't even know how to explain it to himself. He was confused, too, but he acted on what he felt rather than over analyzing it to death. He loved both of them and to him it was that simple. He wanted lots of sons and between the two of them he would get his desire. "Just because you did not love him does not mean that he didn't abandon you. He knocked you up and left. I'm just using him as an example. That no matter what you think of me, no matter how angry you get I'm not leaving you. I'm not going anywhere." It had nothing to do with Crete, in reality, he just didn't know any other example to use.

Thistle moved closer to him, her nips and bites out of tune with their conversation of Gyda and future daughters. Her teasing heated a pool of fire in his stomach. He had many purposes in life, so that if he lost one he could keep moving on, but one of those purposes was to be needed by his children. He was their father. He wanted them to need him when they were scared, to protect them, to give them advice when they needed it. As he considered that eventually they would come to a time when they didn't need him it filled him with an emptiness. "They don't have to always need me. I will just have so many children that I will never feel unneeded." He grinned at her suggestively, knowing that while they had a long while before she went into heat again they could keep practicing.

RE: forever and always - Thistle Cloud - August 25, 2014

Thistle did not think she was doing very well at talking about this. Wasn’t even sure why she was, she wanted this to end, to just move on. However, Ragnar had opened the door and she was far too stubborn to not answer him when he spoke, especially when he would say something she didn’t exactly agree with. She tilted her ears to his words listening, so he loved all his gods, but Odin was his favorite. How did that have anything to do with her and Nerian and his obvious whorish ways? Though she supposed he was merely trying to point out she was his favorite, which she didn’t agree with. If she had been he would not be defending Nerian or what have you at every turn and if he had loved her enough he wouldn’t have even asked her of what he did, but he had and she had said yes so she needed to stop dwelling immediately, it was not good for her, him, Nerian or the children. She often felt like nothing more than a life sized baby maker to him, so he could have his many sons, but she kept that to herself as well and just listened.

He may not go anywhere, but what would he do if she went somewhere. Sure he said that he would fight, but really would he or would he just watch her walk away. That was the question of the hour, but again she kept silent about it, not really wanting the answer and not really wanting to argue anymore or fight. She would have doubts for time to come and until he proved her wrong, well they would stay, but that didn’t mean she had to voice them to him.

Thistle didn’t really care that her teasing was out of sorts, didn’t care that it didn’t fit the conversation. She hadn’t come for this conversation anyway, she had come to feel a soft spot in her soul, that need for him. And to show him she was sorry, even if she couldn’t voice it she could show it. Because she imagined she wasn’t entirely sorry about everything she had said, but she could let him know she wasn’t angry anymore. She reared up on her back legs and wrapped her fore legs around his shoulders, so she could look at him holding her balance. She chuckled as he continued talking and whispered softly Ragnar can you shut up and just love me or do I have to attack you dear heart. her blue eyes laughed at him and she waited comfortable at the moment.

RE: forever and always - Ragnar - August 26, 2014

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Ragnar was at how to make Thistle see that she wasn't second best; he had no way and no words to prove that he could love both of them at the same time, that him taking Nerian as his second wife wasn't with the intent to disrespect Thistle or to mean that she wasn't enough for him. Ragnar had no way of explaining his complicated relationship with Nerian, mostly because he didn't fully understand it himself. Perhaps it was better to keep silent about his feelings for Nerian, despite that Thistle knew of them, to himself and allow Thistle to make her wild accusations until he fully understood it himself. It was no wonder he couldn't make her understand. All he was able to understand currently was he didn't want anyone else to love Nerian because they wouldn't do it right and he wanted to protect her much the same way he wanted to protect Thistle — never mind that he was the one currently hurting her. It was more than that with Nerian, though. He had promised her he would keep her safe from Vali, that he would never allow anyone to hurt her as his younger brother had done ever again. He had stolen her from her home, from her people and her culture and Ragnar felt responsible for Nerian, like it was his duty to love her and make her his wife, too. It went beyond the simple need that he wanted too. He had to spend the rest of his life making his the fact that he was her thief up to her; and if letting Nerian love him and bear him children and by loving her in return was what it took to do that why would he deny her or himself that?

Ragnar shook his head to dispel those thoughts, turning his icy gaze back upon his Queen wife; the scarred Scandinavian held still for her when she reared up on her hind legs and wrapped her forepaws around his neck, smirking to himself when she told him to shut up and love her. "It will be hard to do this way," He teased her simply.

RE: forever and always - Thistle Cloud - August 26, 2014

Thistle said nothing and to be honest though she wouldn't word it, as bad as Ragnar had hurt her, she honestly didn't know if he would ever be able to fix it, but she wouldn't say that, because she hoped he could fix it she really did. She doubted that he could prove to her that she wasn't second best, and in a deep dark place that she kept only for herself, she briefly wondered if it would just be Nerian or if he would constantly stamp out all her heart, break it over and over again until she couldn't take it anymore and she left. And she would if it came to that, simply for the simple fact of self preservation. She was not a selfish wolf she did her best to help everyone, and to love everyone in different ways of course. But she also refused to be like her mother she refused to be that wolf that pined and begged and pleaded, she wouldn't do it. She would do it for now, because she had given permission and in a way Nerian deserved this after what she had been through, but frankly that was all it was and she would not settle for humiliation and hurt for the rest of her life. When it came down to it, she would save herself if she had too, she could never love again, that much she knew that part of her would always belong to the scarred Scandinavian that stood in front of her, but she could save herself surely.

Thistle chuckled and stepped back her front legs hitting the ground and looked at him through lashes. it got you to pay attention though didn't it. Her lips twitched in a small smile and she let out a small playful growl and turned around biting his shoulder as she had ghosted forward then to turn around.

RE: forever and always - Ragnar - August 28, 2014

Figured this was a good place to fade this. You can post once more or have it archived as is. <3

With his Queen Wife's body in such close proximity as his own, Ragnar put their quarrel, his heathen ways, and everything else far out of his mind. Those things had no place in the sacred rituals between husband and wife. She slid off of him, craning her neck to bite at his unscarred shoulder. Ragnar's nuzzled at the fur of her neck, while it was presented to him so prettily. He did not respond to her for he had felt there was no need. She had been correct and she knew it just as well as he did. He watched her with heavy eyes as she turned and ghosted forward, allowing him to take in the length of her elegantly curved spine with a hunger. He moved forward, driven by the age old, feral instinct and paused as his chest brushed her hindquarters, to nip at her spine before he rose upon his hind legs and pulled her into his embrace.