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+--- Thread: Spotted Eagle Mountain To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn (/showthread.php?tid=40683)
To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Takiyok - April 07, 2020
Her eyes flew open and her head popped up from where it had been pressed to the cold ground of the cave. The flesh on her cheek stayed smashed against the bone where it had started to protrude some. Pain shot through every muscle. She realized then that she had only been dreaming. She must have finally passed out but even then, she had found no relief. Her mind terrorized her while she slept and her body picked up the torch while she was awake. Her head fell back down to the ground with thud. She had no idea how long she had been lying there; long enough that she had sores in many of the places that bone met the hard stone of the floor. She hadn't been able to hold anything down for a while, and eventually crawled into this cave when she felt too weak to move any longer. She hadn't been able to pick herself up since. Everything hurt. Her throat was on fire and her mouth was sand. Her stomach felt like a burning stone against the walls of her abdomen. Every muscle in her body screamed for fluid and nourishment but the sickness wouldn't allow it.
She started to heave, her stomach tensing up to dispel contents that were not there. The pain was enough to make her pass out again. The edges of her vision grew blurry just as the heaving finally subsided. She drew in a slow, ragged breath and pushed it back out. She barely had strength to breath but somehow continued to pull air in and force it back out. The breaths were slow and faint, but they were still there. She couldn't die here alone—she refused to let Stag think she abandoned him. And who would look for Monarch, Mesa, and Ego if she were gone? Those thoughts were what kept her clinging to edge of life. The thought of seeing her children again made her muddle on through every painful heave of her stomach instead of just giving in and finally finding relief.
A cool breeze drifted in from outside and ruffled her fur against her gaunt frame; it was a feeling she once enjoyed but now it felt like knives dragging across her too sensitive skin. How would she find her way out this? She couldn't fight or run. All she could rely on now was her will to stay alive.
RE: To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Mahler - April 22, 2020
diaspora's former home was too far for mahler to travel, as nyx was more advanced in her pregnancy. she had requested his help at the whelping, and so he toured over the low reaches of sagtannet — among those wylla-damned foothills — looking for things he might use to replenish his pharmaecopia.
at length, his eye was drawn to the grassy slopes that led into the hollow, and he followed the remembered old paths down into the place where diaspora had once weathered. it had never been home, but it was here where a good many things occurred.
painful things.
shocking things.
the gargoyle nosed through stale old dens, looking for where he had last secreted his bundles of old medicine, but the snows had torn most away and what remained was all but dust.
he clucked in dismay and would have turned away were it not for the scent of her tracing through here, the fierce winterwhite who had never forgiven him. mahler drew up in consternation, but in the next moment his broad paws were carrying him along the trail that deepened and freshened and turned raw within his senses
takiyok had left mahler here, and now the shadowpriest discovered her weakened form lying in an old honeycomb of crumblung dens. words fled; his amethyst eyes envinced shock only a moment before he swept into his doktor's business, briskly reaching to nose along her muzzle, tasting the bitterness of her vomit there.
at length, his eye was drawn to the grassy slopes that led into the hollow, and he followed the remembered old paths down into the place where diaspora had once weathered. it had never been home, but it was here where a good many things occurred.
painful things.
shocking things.
the gargoyle nosed through stale old dens, looking for where he had last secreted his bundles of old medicine, but the snows had torn most away and what remained was all but dust.
he clucked in dismay and would have turned away were it not for the scent of her tracing through here, the fierce winterwhite who had never forgiven him. mahler drew up in consternation, but in the next moment his broad paws were carrying him along the trail that deepened and freshened and turned raw within his senses
takiyok had left mahler here, and now the shadowpriest discovered her weakened form lying in an old honeycomb of crumblung dens. words fled; his amethyst eyes envinced shock only a moment before he swept into his doktor's business, briskly reaching to nose along her muzzle, tasting the bitterness of her vomit there.
RE: To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Takiyok - April 23, 2020
She had passed out again, this time woken by the strange feeling of something cold against her face. She saw dark paws as her eyes sluggishly moved around to find the source of the strange feeling. Her mind tried to piece all the details together, but everything was foggy. Someone was here—someone familiar. But she immediately disregarded the figure as just another hallucination. They had no scent. That was how she had been able to assure herself any other time her mind had tried to trick her. Her lungs burned then, and she realized she hadn't taken a breath yet. Breathing was difficult at best right now and what she did manage was slow and harsh. She drew in a ragged breath when her body finally demanded it and was hit with his scent. But how? How was he here now when she had seen no one for days? Weeks?
In any other situation where she was vulnerable, she would be angry that he was here. He had been the last wolf she ever wanted see, or so she told herself. But all she could feel right now was relief. Relief so strong that she tried to lift her head and say something. But when she tried to summon words, only a scratchy almost gurgle came out. A wave of pain moved slowly from her stomach and up her throat. She tried to vomit but as all the other times before, only drops of thick yellow liquid fell onto her already stained front paws. She dropped her head again and just like that, the relief was gone, replaced by acceptance and despair. She was going to die here, and she was sentenced to do so with Mahler watching. All she could do now was hope he saw the plea in her droopy gaze.
RE: To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Mahler - April 24, 2020
he saw it there, and swept in action. takiyok lived; mahler felt relief grip his heart. but she was wordless, and thus he would have to figure what had happened here through his own senses. that the pale warrior had been poisoned was the first of his suspicions, and he crept head and the topmost part of his shoulders into the den.
he sought different points along her body, looking back to takiyok to spot a wince or otherwise. a low grunt. "ve vill have to make you vomit again," he revealed, for she could hear even if she could not speak. "i vill bring vater and something to help vith the process."
the gargoyle turned away, but in a small length of time returned with a soaked clump of moss and a bit of senna. he held the foliage over her lips, so that water pattered down upon her maw, and then laid the hellbore plant alongside the woman's downed muzzle. "this vill make you very sick, but only for a few moments."
he sought different points along her body, looking back to takiyok to spot a wince or otherwise. a low grunt. "ve vill have to make you vomit again," he revealed, for she could hear even if she could not speak. "i vill bring vater and something to help vith the process."
the gargoyle turned away, but in a small length of time returned with a soaked clump of moss and a bit of senna. he held the foliage over her lips, so that water pattered down upon her maw, and then laid the hellbore plant alongside the woman's downed muzzle. "this vill make you very sick, but only for a few moments."
RE: To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Takiyok - April 24, 2020
Any touch made her wince; she was painful everywhere, and it was intensified any time she felt his nose against her skin. When he suggested that she needed to vomit more, question and fear filled her gaze. She had vomited so much that she was sure there was nothing left for her to bring up. Had she not been so weak, she might have questioned his instructions. But he was quickly gone again, not that she magically had the ability to speak then anyway.
Her eyes had closed again in the time that he was gone, but they flicked open as she felt the cool liquid against her sore, scabbed lips. It dripped into her sandpaper mouth next but just as it brought much needed relief, it also worsened her need for more. She felt like she could never drink enough to make up for how much fluid she had lost. The water didn't turn her stomach as she thought it might. She looked down at the plant he placed next to her face and the thought of eating it made her wince again. She was so tired of vomiting, and she didn't understand why he wanted her to vomit more. But she was in no position to argue with him. Mahler knew far more about healing than she did, so she reluctantly scooted her head over the plant and picked it up with her teeth. It tasted awful and every part of her protested the idea of chewing and swallowing anything. There was hardly any saliva in her mouth, so getting the chewed pieces down was a long and drawn out process. When she managed to swallow that last pieces from her mouth, the need to vomit soon followed. Her sides sucked in and she winced as she tried to angle herself up more, scraping her festering sores against the uneven stone of the den floor. She went through all the motions of vomiting, but only more thick, yellow fluid came up, along with all of the plant she worked so hard to get down.
She slumped back on the ground, her breathing slow and labored for a few moments. All she could think about was the feeling of the water against her lips and tongue. That was the first thing to touch her that wasn't painful, and she would do just about anything right then to get more. She struggled to sit up again, ignoring the protest from her sores. She saw the moss discarded on the ground and reached for it, clasping it between her weak jaws. She was able to squeeze a small amount of water from it before she had to drop it and rest against the wall. She could feel the coolness move down her throat and into her stomach. She reveled in the relief for a few minutes, closing her eyes and leaning fully against the wall of the cave. When she opened her eyes again, they sluggishly scanned around her, settling when they landed on Mahler. She wanted to thank him and ask him how the hell he was even here, but she was too tired. So she just stared at him through heavy-lidded eyes, relief flooding her gaze again.
RE: To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Mahler - April 25, 2020
what followed tensed mahler with sympathy, and he remained in contact with takiyok until the woman sat up and drank all that he had brought. in the interim, the doktor nudged the mess out-of-doors and kicked dirt across the moist patch of earth. he made no mention of it as he returned, only fit where he would inside the small stone shelter and invited the winterwhite to lie against his body as she had done in childbirth.
"do not speak yet," he instructed gently, rockbloom gaze seeking her own even if she demurred. "i am glad that i vas able to discover you in time, takiyok."
no need to speak of the bitterness between them. it was forgotten in this moment; he stared beseechingly at the snowfurred she-wolf and swallowed. where had she gone? and why had she returned here? to die? mahler cleared his throat, shelved all that he wished to say for the time being. "rest. i vill be here vhile you sleep and after."
"do not speak yet," he instructed gently, rockbloom gaze seeking her own even if she demurred. "i am glad that i vas able to discover you in time, takiyok."
no need to speak of the bitterness between them. it was forgotten in this moment; he stared beseechingly at the snowfurred she-wolf and swallowed. where had she gone? and why had she returned here? to die? mahler cleared his throat, shelved all that he wished to say for the time being. "rest. i vill be here vhile you sleep and after."
RE: To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Takiyok - April 25, 2020
Pre-sickness Taki would have ignored his invitation on principle alone. She had always been stubborn to a fault, especially when it came to those she believed had wronged her in some way. But now, after he had found her and rushed to her aid, no questions asked—she could no sooner refuse the comfort than she could stop herself from wringing every last bit of moisture from the moss just minutes before; she didn't care about anything else that had happened between them, not then. It was a slow, painful process, but she eventually settled against him, slowly relaxing as the pain from her sores faded once more.
She met his gaze as easily as her heavy eyes would allow. As for speaking, she couldn't right now even if she wanted to, so Mahler's gentle instruction was easy to follow. When he continued, she rested her head on the spot where their forelegs touched, a relieved sigh leaving her chest. She was glad he had found her too, even if she might not feel the same once she was more herself again.
His promise comforted her further, and she found that she wasn't even the slightest bit irritated by it—she was only grateful. Because she was not ready to die yet, and she knew just how close she had been to the end. Her eyes drifted closed within seconds, exhaustion finally forcing her into unconsciousness once more.
RE: To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Mahler - April 27, 2020
for a long moment, mahler did not think takiyok would comply. she had always been resistant to any sort of change that sought to control her feral heart. having a man who had broken it come to her aid would be quite low upon her welcoming list, and yet in the next few moments her weakened figure eagerly sought sleep.
when the winterwhite woke, it would be to find mahler laid across the mouth of the den, blinking sleepily in the warm light. he thought of wylla, of nyx, of his children that were and children to come. of sagtannet. and of takiyok. presently his gaze traveled back to where she lay, wondering if she was still within sleep's grasp or close to waking.
~*~
when the winterwhite woke, it would be to find mahler laid across the mouth of the den, blinking sleepily in the warm light. he thought of wylla, of nyx, of his children that were and children to come. of sagtannet. and of takiyok. presently his gaze traveled back to where she lay, wondering if she was still within sleep's grasp or close to waking.
RE: To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Takiyok - April 27, 2020
She woke with a quiet cough and stirred some, forgetting temporarily where she was or what was happening. But the pain from her sore muscles and pressure wounds was a quick reminder. And when everything came flooding back, memories of Mahler had her gaze flying over to where he lay at the entrance to the cave. She swallowed, and the dryness of her throat made her wince. She winced again and she shifted to rest against the wall. She stared at him for a few silent moments. She was feeling a bit more herself today than she had in however long she had been here. She couldn't decide if she was angry that he was here. She was sure she would have died otherwise, but that knowledge didn't just automatically erase all the hurt and bitterness she had harbored for so long. Of all the wolves to find her, it had to be Mahler.
But almost dying had a way of making you see things differently. She couldn't help but feel like there was a reason he had been the one to find her and bring her a little further back from the grips of death. So she was left feeling confused and conflicted, something her still foggy brain wasn't quite prepared to deal with yet. She cleared her throat and winced again.
How did you find me?she asked, her voice raspy and too quiet as it moved through her ravaged throat. When had she even spoken last? She didn't know. She wasn't even sure how long she had been here.
RE: To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Mahler - April 27, 2020
"i vas looking for herbs," he said directly, and to that end glanced skyward on a whim. he had been gone for several hours, and assuredly wylla would be stalking about in search of him. but he looked into the brilliant red-gold of her eyes and was transported for a time to an easier set of days.
takiyok's voice was rusted with disuse, and mahler frowned. "how long have you been alone?" came his inquiry, more stern than he had intended. but it was all due to his worry, which grew as he observed her breathing, her movements. "vhy did you come here?" the shadowpriest posed, wondering despite his trepidation if she had come in search of diaspora.
takiyok's voice was rusted with disuse, and mahler frowned. "how long have you been alone?" came his inquiry, more stern than he had intended. but it was all due to his worry, which grew as he observed her breathing, her movements. "vhy did you come here?" the shadowpriest posed, wondering despite his trepidation if she had come in search of diaspora.
RE: To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Takiyok - April 28, 2020
His answer didn't exactly make sense to her at first because she assumed they were nowhere near Diaspora. She had actively avoided the mountains once she left, knowing that eventually she would have to just suck it up so that she could return to see Stag. But she had never made it back; she got too sick before she could.
His question had the confusion leaving her eyes, replaced by indignation. His tone rubbed her the wrong way but more than that, his next question made her realize something.
I don't even know where here is,she answered. Exhaustion quickly replaced whatever irritation had been in her expression.
I don't remember how I got here.She coughed a little and adjusted her position some, wincing a few times as she moved. Then because she couldn't keep the question to herself any longer, she looked back to Mahler and asked:
Stag?She wanted to know how he was. Had she missed his birthday? She couldn't even remember how long she had been gone.
RE: To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Mahler - May 01, 2020
"stag is vell. he grows into a strong young volf," mahler grunted, watching takiyok come to her senses. she had been quite ill, but even in the face of her utter weakness, the winterwhite remained a heavy flame. admirable, that, though the gargoyle felt it would drive her to death in this moment.
"ve are in the hollow, vhere diaspora fled after the quaking." it would come to her soon, the half-familiar feel of the place that had once been their home. but mahler had never loved it. furthermore, he had feared too long and too harshly the concept that the mountains would pour into the small place and kill the rest of them.
he wished for home.
"i cannot leave you here, takiyok." amethyst gaze searched for her own. he must soon return, but the ache of his guilt kept him firmly rooted.
"ve are in the hollow, vhere diaspora fled after the quaking." it would come to her soon, the half-familiar feel of the place that had once been their home. but mahler had never loved it. furthermore, he had feared too long and too harshly the concept that the mountains would pour into the small place and kill the rest of them.
he wished for home.
"i cannot leave you here, takiyok." amethyst gaze searched for her own. he must soon return, but the ache of his guilt kept him firmly rooted.
RE: To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Takiyok - May 01, 2020
She thought she would be relieved to hear that Stag was doing well, but for some reason it only reminded her how much she was missing. She knew he would grow to be strong, but she had always imagined her there with him, encouraging him and teaching him all the ways of the world. Mahler was perfectly capable of doing the same, but the knowledge didn't lessen the burn of regret in her chest any.
Of course he does,she said, hiding her true feelings on the matter. Her former co-leader wasn't privy to such things anymore. She softened some anyway and added:
I promised I would visit him, and then this—she shook her head and looked away. Yet another reason to be in Mahler's debt; he had saved her life so that she could keep her promise and see her son again.
She was surprised and irritated to learn where she was. Of course she was in the cursed hollow. She would come here to die. Thankfully it wouldn't have the chance to take her life like it had taken everything else. Not yet anyway. She sighed and looked away, clearly unhappy with his words.
Her unhappiness was only intensified as he spoke again. She wasn't sure she could make a trip through the mountains yet. Soreness still hummed through every muscle in her body, and just the thought of standing and walking from the cave was more exhausting than she could handle. She struggled with whether to tell him the truth or tell him to go and then figure out what to do after; true to her obstinate nature, she eventually settled on the latter.
I'll be fine,she assured him, though without the conviction she desperately tried to convey.
Go home. I'll come visit Stag once I'm okay enough to make the trip.She had no idea if she actually would be okay, and part of her wondered if she was making a mistake. But what was the other option? return home with him? The idea formed a knot of anxiety in her chest. Her pride balked at the idea but more than anything, she worried about how confusing it would all be for Stag. She had no intention of staying in Mahler's home once she was better, so then what? She would have to leave her son all over again?
RE: To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Mahler - May 03, 2020
now it was his turn to shake his head. "you cannot be all places at vonce, takiyok. you give yourself no grace. you vhere not happy here. and diaspora is all he has known." the words were brokenly falling from him now, for in the winterwhite mahler witnessed his own cruelty toward self. the old loathing that followed him and spoke when things were the most jagged.
"you vhere right to leave him. and you should come back. for now," the gargoyle added, clearing his throat and falling silent a long moment. sagtannet hummed in his blood, but still mahler remained. "how are you to stay safe?" stag would never forgive the eisen if something happened to his warrior mother.
but it was not about him. it was about takiyok. she would be stubborn to the end, and even as mahler leveled his gazae at her, he was not sure that he could press the woman to accompany him back.
"you vhere right to leave him. and you should come back. for now," the gargoyle added, clearing his throat and falling silent a long moment. sagtannet hummed in his blood, but still mahler remained. "how are you to stay safe?" stag would never forgive the eisen if something happened to his warrior mother.
but it was not about him. it was about takiyok. she would be stubborn to the end, and even as mahler leveled his gazae at her, he was not sure that he could press the woman to accompany him back.
RE: To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Takiyok - May 04, 2020
Taki shook her head and looked away. Somewhere, deep down, she knew he was probably right, but she was unable to give herself that kind of break. She had chosen to leave for mostly selfish reasons and she hadn't been strong enough to return. She couldn't understand how he thought her decision to leave her son, who had already lost his father, was the right decision. She could just never feel that way about it. She was his mother, and she felt like she had failed him.
I let him down,was all she said at first. She was actively ignoring his other sound reasoning that there was no way she would be safe here on her own. She hated that she was in this position in the first place; she felt like all control had been taken from her.
But eventually she gave a capitulated sigh.
Fine, I'll go with you.her gaze rested on his face.
But only until I'm better. Once I'm strong again, I'll find some way to repay you for the resources and be on my way.She could handle that.
RE: To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Mahler - May 08, 2020
i could start them a new one at ST? <3
mahler shook his head. "i do not think so." and now takiyok would return. he was unsure how stag might adjust to such a thing, but that remained to be seen a problem. "it is a long vay. but i vill be here." mahler set his jaw at her suggestion. he did not like debts, and he did not care to have his well-earned respect seen as a loan.
"you have more than earned your place already, takiyok," was his crisp rejoinder, and then no more as he straightened and paced away from the den to allow her exit and offer himself as support.
"you have more than earned your place already, takiyok," was his crisp rejoinder, and then no more as he straightened and paced away from the den to allow her exit and offer himself as support.
RE: To the outside, the dead leaves laid on the lawn - Takiyok - May 08, 2020
sounds good! <3
It would take more than Mahler's assurance of the opposite to make her change her mind. As his mother, she should be there for Stag no matter what. It may be an impossible standard, but that didn't stop her from feeling like a terrible mother when she couldn't meet it. Her disagreement was obvious as she dismissed his words with a raised eyebrow and an averted gaze.
She had already come to terms with the fact that going with him would mean allowing him to help her even more than he already had and in more ways than one, so she only nodded when he assured her that he would help her make the journey. But his next words were dismissed as well. She had earned her place in Diaspora not in his new home, and she wouldn't operate under the assumption that she was owed something or that she was any different than anyone else receiving help from his pack with being a member prior. She would repay him whether he wanted her to or not. But rather than argue with him, she just let it go for now. She was more focused on the difficulty of getting up and walking from the cave. Her muscles burned and tightened, angry that they were being called on in their weak state. She compartmentalized the pain, though, and came to Mahler's side, ready to be led to his home—as ready as she could be anyway.