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+--- Thread: Haunted Wood I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind (/showthread.php?tid=40765)
I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Serem - April 11, 2020
It was nightfall now and the dark woman had laid down for a much needed rest. The thoughts lacing her mind were screaming at her and preventing her from sleeping so she found herself taking a few poppy seeds in hopes of relaxing her mind so that she could drift off into slumber as her body slowly was encased in it. Her nightmares following closely after as the she wolf gave a small whine in her sleep as her ears twitch. "Im sorry!" The woman called out through the mist that separated her sleep from reality.
@Santiago Arcos
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Santiago Arcos - April 11, 2020
In the dead of night Santi finds himself restless and twitchy. The need to just do something–anything really, forced him to his feet and has him pacing around the dens of his new pack. His ears swivel when he hears a noise, a groan perhaps. In the corner of his eyes he catches a black blob. Turning his head fully to gather what the object in the darkness is he realizes it’s his favorite she-wolf. Dare he bother a sleeping mother who’s always so busy at this time of night? Well he might just risk his life out of boredom.
Then he watches her shift in restless slumber. Her lips part in an apology afterwards. Such a strong wolf weakening in the clutches of sleep, her demons surely nipping at her ankles and whispering in her ears. He comes closer, careful to keep heavy paws silent. He stops merely a foot away from her. Out of curiosity, he continues watching her. White eyes mistakable to the moon at such an angle.
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Serem - April 11, 2020
Tears lowed from her eyes as she was deep in slumber however something beckoned her awake as the scent of a wolf flooded her senses and hadn't yet registered in the shewolfs mind as she jumped up. Thankfully her young were curled up away from her otherwise they would have been crushed by her massive paws. She bared her teeth at the wolf before realizing who it was and the woman's tail lowed till it was between her legs; ears flattening towards her skull. "I.." she was speechless and she hadn't wanted anyone to see her like this, so vulnerable yet he did and she didn't k ow what to say, the tears that dried on her face were evident
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Santiago Arcos - April 12, 2020
He does a descent job at keeping his surprise at bag by letting it shine throw his facial features. His ears face backwards and like usual his ear with the tag on it twitches. He feels for her especially since she’s been the one to spend so much time with him. Though, he treads carefully since he’s not sure if she’ll shun him, or thank him, for taking an interest in helping.
He comes a hair closer. “Are you alright?” He asks, voice barely above a whisper. Then at his best to lighten the mood he smiles at her. “Chasing your demons again then?”
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Serem - April 12, 2020
He body sunk slightly as she looked at him, she gave a simple nod without saying a single word. She doesn't even know where to begin. "I keep seeing my sister in my nightmares." She started, she doesn't even know why she wants to speak to him about it but she does. "No te vayas. ¿Puedes quedarte?" She didn't want to be alone even though she was with her young. She didn't want the male to leave
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Santiago Arcos - April 12, 2020
He watches her deflate and he tilts his head slightly in interest as she speaks. If he was honest he hadn’t planned on leaving even if she beat him with a stick.
He nods languidly. “Si, si, cariña.” He whispers back. The plume of his hind legs meet the ground as he takes a seated position. “Relájate, get comfortable.” He says softly to her, she seems to tense for him. Giving a single nod back is all he gives to let her know to go on and that he’s listening intently.
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Serem - April 12, 2020
She gave a short sigh of relief as she watched him sit and the young mother laid down on her dens floor looking at him. "My sister was killed because of me....so was one of my brothers. I guess I thought the nightmares were over but....nope" Rhey just wouldn't stop nor did the many new emotions she was feeling.
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Santiago Arcos - April 12, 2020
He nods to her. “Time seems to only heal so much, no?” He comments, then a deep sigh comes from his maw. His porcelain eyes never leave her own. “Cariña, I will never forget what I’ve done.” He says to her. His fucked up mind even dares to try and make him smile as his mind shoots through all the horrible, gory memories he holds like a slideshow mounted on a projector.
“I have never had family though. So I suppose we have that difference.” He sighs to her. “Even then, I enjoyed it.” He dares to say emotionlessly.
He shakes his head from side to side slowly, more at himself than anything. “If it doesn’t hurt, I would like to know what happened to your family.” He whispers, silver eyes twining the moon by how bright they looked.
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Serem - April 12, 2020
She knew there was truth in what he said and she listened on. "As much I want to I can't either." She guessed because can join the club of the messed up and broken. He mentioned that he never had family and deep down the dark female wished she could say the same then she could sleep at night.
He asked about her family and she chuckled. "Where do I even start." She guessed she can speak of her brother. "First kill was when me and my littermates were six months, my parents put me and my brother Nightfire against each other due to use being the smallest of her litters." The memory of her brothers torn up corpse flashed in her mind and she wanted desperately to unsee it. "He died shortly after." She felt her heart or what was left of it.
"I was disgusted with my family for forcing me to do that so I left. I trained and killed anything in my path until I could return and kill the bitch before she had anymore litters. She made us slaughter each other for sport and so our father would leave her ass. That's when I realized I enjoyed every minute of making her scream in agony and pain."
She could remember her mother pleading with her to let her live and it was more clear than ever. "My father had returned back from a hunt and seen what I'd done and attempted to rape and kill me. Him being bigger than me gave him the advantage until my brother..." the only sibling of hers she cared for except for her sister Akna. "...saw and pulled him off, we ripped his throat out together." Now that was something she could smile about. "Then fast forward to last season my sister came to kill me claiming that my brother Nightfire was alive and told her to kill me but I knew she was mad. So Valour killed her for me under my orders. That's the only kill I regret." Serem prepared for him to leave her and never look back as the woman stared at her paws.
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Santiago Arcos - April 12, 2020
He’s astounded at the story she tells. The female has definitely been through a lot and there’s no doubt in that. He supposes her trauma is more emotional rather than physical. Of course the physical was there though.
Unlike him, she started off in a moderately tender environment he was never treated well. Ever since he was a pup he’d been thrown about cages, handled roughly by humans, and expected to kill. He never knew about the idea of family, or parents, or friends until he was a bit older. Santi supposed what you don’t know, won’t hurt you. So he had less mental damage than physical.
Where she thought he would leave, he does the opposite. Rooting himself in place he continues to gaze down to her. Leaning down and taking a step closer, if allowed, he runs his blackened tongue along her cheek and over her eye. Soaking up her now dried tears and to provide comfort, something he knows everyone needs but don’t always get.
After a couple laps at the she-wolfs face he pulls back only a bit. “You did what you had to do.” Is what he gives her. “If she made the decision to kill you what are you to do but fight back?”
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Serem - April 12, 2020
She left out the packs abuse because she felt like such a pity party right now and the shewolf knew she was stronger than that. She had to be to survive. His gestures were reciprocated and and she nudged him in the fluff of his neck. "I did more than I had to. She was torture for a week before I finally said enough and I couldn't even do it myself."
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Santiago Arcos - April 12, 2020
Allowing her to nuzzle into his neck, he cranes his head over own. Then he wonders why she couldn’t do it. He would’ve done that and then some. Though he’s vastly different from her he finally concludes. He doesn’t judge her for her decisions, even though he is mildly surprised she wasn’t able to kill her sister herself. It shows a weakness in the she wolf that they all have but for others is harder to pin.
He allows silence to was over them for a few seconds. “Did you ever think you might not have done enough?” He risks his very life for the question. “She tried to kill you.” He states. “As soon as she did that any ties to you as her kin were nonexistent; she threw them away. You did the right thing.” He finishes strongly.
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Serem - April 12, 2020
The woman simply shrugged at the question. "Something just never sat right as to why she tried to kill me. She didn't have a dangerous bone in her body that's why I find myself thinking perhaps her mind was broken....from what I have no clue." Perhaps from her fucked up parents but she'd never know. "In the end she apologized....then Valour finished her off. " she shook away the memories and fixed her posture. "I guess I have some sort of a conscious after all I still think these pups have my hormones out of wack." Which would make total sense
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Santiago Arcos - April 12, 2020
“An apology can only take back so much cariña. An apology is merely words. I’ve killed, then apologized afterwards knowing I didn’t mean a damn word about what I said.” He says blatantly. “Actions do speak louder, no? And she tried killing you.” He finishes. “So, she is family no more.” His outlook is savage and out of touch with his emotions, yet the thought behind it has helped him, so why wouldn’t it help others?
Then with his head craned over her neck he, flops his body to the ground. Now lying in front of her with his head across her shoulders and back. Hind legs kicked out to the left and front paws curled up to his chest next to her own. “It is normal to have feelings, cariña.” He whispers into the fur of her back.
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Serem - April 12, 2020
She nodded softly and she breathed in. "I guess your right." She knew he was but a part of her thought otherwise but she would bury that as far as she possibly could. When he spoke of her feelings she chuckled. "Not these feelings not for me...." not to mention the fact that she actually found herself wanting him around.
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Santiago Arcos - April 12, 2020
His chuckle reverberates through his chest enough to where the female beneath him would surely be able to feel it. “Only sometimes.”
“It’s okay chica, I’ve been categorized as soft since I got here.” He laughs. “By who exactly? Myself. I’ve never been so mellow in my entire life.” He groans, almost hating it.
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Serem - April 12, 2020
The woman smiled as she curled closer to him, swarmed in his warmth that his body gave off. "Well aren't you modest." She chuckled softly and listened to what he said next. "Well I'll keep your secret if you keep mine." She said softly as she rested her head in his paws.
RE: I can’t escape these thoughts in my broken mind - Santiago Arcos - April 13, 2020
He chuckles. “Aren’t I?” Then as he rests his head upon her shoulders he realizes his own eyes have become heavy.
Still he nods only slightly. “It’s safe with me, cariña.” He soothes.