Despite his conversation with Moon he still didn't feel better about the whole situation. For once in his life, he had done the right things, and now that he had karma was playing some sort of sick joke. Every time he tried to regain what he had lost with Heartha it wasn't quite the same. Either by his own hand or now by another it seemed he would never be able to settle down and live the life so many around him and younger than him had had the chance to live.

He wasn't sure what he needed, but he knew that being within Kaistleoki right now with his mindset was not right. He needed time to think and while he was thinking he knew his work wouldn't be up to his standards and may result in a hindrance to the pack. Especially with a possibly unknown threat looming in the area. 

As he stepped in among the hot springs the smell of sulfur hit his snout and with a few forced breaths began to cause less and less discomfort. Looking back to the river leading to the plateau he remembered meeting Pema here and all she had done, despite his actions. He shook his head vigorously as though it would rid the memories from his mind.

Looking back into the spring he began to trot through and around them, as though the physical act of turning and walking away from the plateau would rid his thoughts from his stationary mind. The scratching of his nails was a constant rhythm and only stopped when his eyes caught sight of a familiar white pelt among the green grass and gray stone. The reddened mark on her forehead distinguished her and allowed Howl to identify her instantly.

Seeing her lay peacefully among bubbling springs seemed to slow his own thoughts as his attention was suddenly veered in a different direction. He thought to call out to her but thought it would be a shame to wake her when she looked so comfortable and docile. The surrounding smell of sulfur was enough to mask her hormonal scent, ridding Howl of the signs of caution that should be taken in such a situation. A few yards away he sat down and gazed upon her as steam billowed around him.

His blissful gaze upon her was only held for a few moments as she sharply stood up and looked around. So easily woken by the mear sound of him sitting. He wondering what had trained her to be so alert whilst in a vulnerable state. Once she had time to recognize him she lower her haunches and her tail began to sway lightly. 

She took a few paces forward before sitting down herself and greeted him. Her voice seemed sweeter, lighter, something he assumed was due to her recent emergency from slumber. "I'm sorry to have startled you. You looked so peaceful I thought it might be a shame to disturb you" he explain in a soft tone. 

It seemed his conscience was weighing on him even now as she could see his visably less than joyful demenour. "Yeah, well ah..." he paused a moment. He didn't want to bring her down with his bad news as it was not her burden to know his tribulations. But he couldn't help but be honest with her after all the conversations they had had prior. "No... not really... I thought I was getting closer to that goal or dream" he said referring to their previous conversation "But I recently lost it or rather it was take from me" he said looking to the floor processing the situation further and further in some sort of perpetual cycle. 

Her focus on the word "taken' made him realize his poor choice of words. It was entirely possible that she could have been physically taken of kidnapped. Something that had happened to a few females he had known... and currently knew. Luckily it seemed she knew what his true connotation was.

He laughed sarcastically and rolled his eyes. "Yeah. 'Suiter' is too kind a word" he remarked at her own word choice and not towards her directly. "It implies that I as well as a 'suitor'"

He looked at her apologetically not meaning for his angry to be directed at her. "It's just..." he signed "It was different than the other times. We had committed to one another wholly... At least... that's what I thought... before I saw her..." he paused looking for an appropriate word "embracing another" he said with a hinting facial expression.

Her response was one of annoyance once his hinting message was received. Bother verbally and physically Howl could see how it worked her up. Though angry her words were kind and Howl reached out his muzzle to touch hers. "Hey... I don't want my problems to get you all worked up... OK" he said kindly looking into her eyes. This close he was better able to smell her against the scent of sulfur, but it didn't smell like her, at least not her normal self.

He leaned back away from her to answer "We sorta talked... I don't know... It didn't seem finished, though perhaps there's no solution to this problem. An undo doesn't exist." he shrugged "In either case I don't see a future between us and I'm pretty sure she knows that too" 

As she stepped forward and rested herself against him he didn't startle. It was the first time the two had ever been this close, but it didn't feel like that. If felt natural, like this is what he needed, and he instinctually lifted his head and rested it upon hers. As he listened to her kind words he knew that nothing she could say would change his situation, but it was the first time since the incident that he wasn't completely filled with sorrow and anger. It was comforting to know she cared without knowing Moonshadow or his situation.

Kind enough to pay a compliment she stated that perhaps Moonshadow wasn't deserving. He wasn't sure about that. Even after everything she had done to him, he didn't feel as though she was lesser, but it was clear that the two were not meant for each other in the end, and the realization of the fact was a very hard pill to swallow. "I'm sure it'll come to me one day... or maybe it won't. I feel as though looking for it is a plan for disaster. Perhaps things like that shouldn't be planned, but meant to be" 

As they sat nuzzled against one another Howl could feel the warmth coming from Star. A quite astonishing feat seeing as how the hot springs were creating quite a bit of warmth themselves. "Are you feeling ok? You feel a bit warm" he stated with concern. Come to think of it why was she here in the first place. Surely she would want to find a place to cool off. And wasn't her pack miles from here. What had brought her all this way and so close to his pack? "You didn't come all this way just to see me, did you? he asked charmingly in a joking manner.

But just after he asked his question a gust of wind billowed towards the pair. Filled with the smell of sulfur that was already agitating Howl's nostrils he instinctively tucked his head into her scruff to shield his nose. As the wind passed and his muzzle remained he took in a deep whiff of her scent, now identifiable to the experienced veteran. "Or maybe you did" he said in a low hypnotized tone.

Her bashful responses and flustered words now had reasoning behind them, a build-up of hormones due to her heat. The sheer smell of her was enough to put him under her spell but he had already felt at ease and comfortable with her at his side prior to being put under such a spell. But the same couldn't be said about Star, at least not from Howl's perspective. Was all of this due to shear hormones? She had left her pack to free herself from temptation there. Was his presence a temptation? He didn't wish to take advantage of her if that were the case. He didn't want to repeat his previous mistakes.

She spoke of fate and persistently claimed that their meet up wasn't planned. That was completely possible, but he needed to be sure. As she leaned against him he resisted his own urges. He needed to be sure this was something she truly wanted, he didn't want to hurt her. "I don't want to give you the wrong idea Star. I greatly enjoy you being here... next to me as you are. And I will never be able to tell you such a blatant lie and claim I don't find you divine" he said with a charming grin. "But I also know that you're vulnerable right now. And I don't want to take advantage of that" he said modestly.

Her chuckle brought a smile to his face, and her shy confession was extraordinarily cute. Neither response was solely lustful and it was clear her actions weren't completely hormonally motivated. And if she truly hadn't sought him out then all the times they had run into one another was driven by fate. Was this the sign he was looking for, or rather shouldn't have been looking for. At every turning point since he had reentered the Teekon Wilds she had been there. Nothing felt forced with her and his reserve was only a clearer sign that he cared for her and didn't want anything to ruin what they had. Taking this step forward was a risk. It would change everything they currently had, but taking it meant a chance for it to grow rather than wither away. 

As she turned against him she only fueled the flame growing inside him that urged him to take her for his own. But he knew better and would be better. He stood up and grazed his muzzle against her before taking a step back away from her. "I can't do this... Not to you" he sighed and walked up to face her "You deserve more" he confessed as he kissed her passionately. He didn't want this to just be a one and done, she deserved to be cared for and he was more than willing to provide. "I like you too. And I am here for you" he said committing himself to her. He continued to leave kisses along her jaw and neck before making his way behind her. Sure she was pleasured he took mount and initiated the union between the two.