returned, back, home?

he ponders restlessly over the words, snout wrinkled in vivid concentration. odd that 'home' fit in so well there. he could announce 'i am back' or 'i am home' and no one would bat an eye at the difference. yet there is a yawning cavern of significant polarity writhing between the two. he felt more lost than home but he has returned. a huff of frustration is freed to roam the frigid air tickling at his lissom figure. what the hell was home???? he'd lived in a few places so as a result were they all home or did such territory promiscuity rob him of the right to refer to anywhere as home?

grumbling, he stalks aimlessly through the flatland rolling peacefully away from him. sage gaze focusing on the swaying heads of vibrant flowers as they spread determinedly across the valley, one big coruscating carpet. the harsh bite of recent weather has hindered their display but it is as if it makes them more animated; dancing with a burning ferocity to disguise any bald spots sneering out. licking at his lips, willowy limbs shift to drop his figure close to the ground as he inspects the deviant life before him. the intensity of such a solemn expression would lead you to believe that he must be inspecting something with a far greater presence than a mere plant but no, the look he offers to this speck of innocent beauty does not waver as a featherlight paw is lifted to carefully move it so that it can be seen from all angles.

reif!

his skin prickles as he jumps, balance faltering at the unbidden motion so that the paw that had propped the gossamer plant before him now became the enemy as it pushed it to the earth; his entire weight pressing into the frail burst of life. devastation flickered briefly across round eyes at the crushed specimen, dislodged petals already hitching in the breeze and getting as far away from him as possible. who- and they knew his name! it had been long, so long since he'd heard that uttering tumble from another's lips and it was about as nerve wracking as the sudden blast with which this stranger had intruded on this solitary moment. but then- was it a stranger if they called out his name with such brazen confidence? his mind ticked frantically away from him at such speed that this had all raced and rallied throughout before he'd even turned narrowing eyes to rest upon the approaching figure as they spoke again.

ears leaned back against his head at the pierce of such enthusiastic yells, willing the hitch in his breaths to cease so that they could slow...slow...please slow down....his eyes fluttered shut for the briefest of moments. he wished it could be longer, that he could sink into the rolling dark until the writhing in his head settled once more but no, he must make sure...safe....blinking rapidly; he tried to ignore the sudden glare of the verdant surroundings. once lovely but now..harsh, piercing. another shaky inhale, focus. 

valiant...

his nose scrunched as he observed with close wariness, studying the emotions that flickered across those boyish features. he seemed...pleased? right? his head cocked a little at that, why would he be pleased at the sight of....him? did he know him, there was something familiar there- like an itch on his brain. still crouched amongst the flowers, willowy limbs tense and apprehensive; he remembered. rolling back over bright flashes, picture perfect memories caught on camera. the gentle embrace of hazy afternoons, the hum of whispering willows as wolves lilted and laughed...safe. he knew who this was, no one significant really but....he represented a part of reif that he missed terribly now that everything was cold and dangerous. so what tumbled from pale jaws wasn't exactly a direct answer, but it said enough as it slipped forth hoarsely. "elysium"

so deeply snared by the onslaught of memories skimming past his terse gaze like a manic slide show, reif failed to notice the withering of his newfound company. failed to notice that his chilled demeanour had reached icy claws forth to tear through the radiant joy of the fellow willow born boy. all he could see was mama's....atwood.....sundance...and dappled light prancing daintily along his paws as the willows hummed merry symphonies above. he too seemed to shrivel up a bit as rapid blinking tore him free from the treacherous reverie and back to the real world...the sights he'd marvelled at only moments ago suddenly dull and muted after what his mind had portrayed to him. 

eyes snatch at the pallid creature when he speaks, voice too dropping so that it was but a wisp of mist slithering across to his crouched figure. he swallowed hastily, pushing frail limbs to lift his body to a stand...he now recalled his own mission to their former home, yet unlike valiant he hadn't succeeded in such a journey. he'd kept walking, like a mere flea clambering up the mountains and back down until the air grew sharper and crueler with its icy talons; the mountains but a leering row of teeth to his back. but he'd just kept going until the teekons themselves were a blur in the distance. oh gods. 

that faraway look had casted veils over that sage glance until a question was tumbled his way and he jolted a little, mind returning to the present once again with graceless regret. he frowned a little, how was he doing? "fine..i guess?" it's posed as a question, head tipping to the side a little. what was he supposed to say? he most definitely wasn't fantastic or jumping for joy but he obviously wasn't dying...such a pointless question. no, that was unfair; that question was kind. it was...what was it, it was considerate. he should, ask how valiant was too right? wrinkling his nose a little in concentration, he asked quietly "and how have you been doing?" he caught his gaze for only a moment to pose that question before blinking away again. 

there was another question that he did want to ask, could feel the pressure of it lodged in his throat but...the idea of summoning it was choking. he had to know though, just in case...licking at his lips he whispered, voice just audible enough to reach the other boy with the breeze's aid "i don't suppose you caught any signs of..olive or seabreeze? sundance or atwood? i...i haven't seen them in a long...long time..." he studied his paws with intense concentration then as if the way the blades of grass shielded them despite how many of their kin lay crushed beneath them was the most fascinating thing in the world. he hadn't let himself think of his family at all, it had been easier that way..to just block their memories out. but now...he felt things, these clamouring emotions. and they were terrifying.

the look he cast towards the slight steps taken by his company wavered warily for only a moment before a heavy weariness settled over him and a sigh pushed free from his snout. limbs slackening, he leaned back to allow himself to sit whilst regarding valiant with eyes much softer, better suiting the serene sage rolling within them. at the unfinished sentence to tug from his lips, a frown pressed against reif's features as his head tipped to the side. why didn't he finish? had he forgotten what he was going to say or something. his mouth had opened, ready to loose a rough prompt when he...apologised? stiffening a little, brows knitted tightly as he felt slight panic wriggle through his chest. had had done something bad? something that required an 'i'm sorry' to shake off deeply embedded claws of guilt? the assumptions kept rolling forth as a muscles twitched within tightly clenched jaws when he mumbled once more.

it hurt his head, this little rollercoaster valiant had taken him on to get to that statement. what had he thought, it could not have been what he just said because there was certainty with those facts, not the doubt encrusted 'thought'. and why apologize? "you don't need to say sorry, it's not your fault right?" a dangerous question. he couldn't really see valiant doing something bad, there was a pure glow to him and those wide, doe like eyes but why say sorry. his eyes shut briefly as the rest of the statement caught up to him. no one at the willows, so cam hadn't been lying about that. not that he'd thought he was but...no room for doubt now. swallowing thickly, he urged his mind not to wander down the dark path of wondering what had happened to his family; what had seemed to wipe them from the face of this damned earth. and, what was that...a...a new pack? his eyes flashed open, sharp as a thin blade as they cut towards the boy and he stood. "what?" it tumbled messily from his lip as he bristled, short pelt spiky like an angry cat. "they..they can't!" an indignant, childish wail. "they can't do that they...no they can't, it belongs to elysium i don't care if there's no one left it's still, it's ours" 

breathing quickly, he glared off towards the leer of those jagged peaks. to think of these strangers parading about his home, stealing the willow's whispered secrets and sleeping in the dens he'd rolled about in with his brothers....no! the earth seemed unsteady as his tail lashed to relieve some pent up energy, scattering the vibrant hues of silken petals as they took to the breeze. the question barely made it through the fog that was slowly engulfing him but he latched onto it, used it to reel himself in and away from the claws that had been making to clutch cruelly at his mind. he couldn't break down..no, not now. working to steady his breaths, he shook his head listlessly. when had he last seen them? "it's been a long time..remember when the whole world started shaking and breaking? i was out one day and some damn rocks cut me off from the pack so i left the mountains they weren't safe. i was gone a good while before i met cam, remember him? he told me that everyone had disappeared" his paws shuffled through the fallen flowers, blinking regretfully at them before looking back up to valiant and whispering "i wonder what happened to them"

his expression is unreadable as he gazes quietly upon the vibrant petals smiling back as the boy tells his story. a slow nod as silence settles between them once more, sage eyes lifting to blink upon his company and feeling a startled bolt stir through him at the intensity of the emotion guttering in that sunset gaze. tearing his look free from it, he frowned a little to himself and rolled the story back over in his mind...uncertain as to what facts displayed so easily before him could withold something to cause such trauma. it was so very frustrating, not being able to dissect these feelings that sprang from other wolves in radiant cascades, pouring from every pore of their soul. he shifted awkwardly amongst the plants, watching them throw flamboyant figures in sprightly dance; that's what he sometimes seen these intense emotions as...dancing colours leaking from the intense press of wide eyes. swallowing hastily, he lifts slender shoulders in a gentle shrug to murmur "thanks for er..telling me, that makes sense"

he was grateful, having detested his lack of knowledge in regards to the disappearance of his entire pack. at least now the knowledge was secured within his mind now, not that it would do much good. his mama's were still gone...atwood and sundance too and now that he knew a new pack strutted about there...he swallows against the sour taste. it meant any fruitless hopes that his family had hidden from the earth's madness were shattered. 

eyes snap back at the apology, frown still lingering but something in the point of his stare grows softer as the words continue to bubble from valiant's mouth. "'sokay" he mumbles, shuffling paws idly "i shouldn't have left" it had been his fault, thinking his yearn to discover the source of these rumbles made him invincible. if he'd just stayed put then perhaps he'd know his family's whereabouts, but he'd left without so much as a word. selfish. ears flick back.

"thanks" he whispers again, settling to a crouch amongst the protective embrace of the psychedelic carpet they lingered upon. he wasn't sure what else there was to stay, cursing his inability to make normal talk as the soothing silence traced the fringes of shivering ears.