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+--- Thread: Sun Mote Copse slow dancer, no answer (/showthread.php?tid=41240)
slow dancer, no answer - Jarilo - May 06, 2020
Despite the overcast skies, Jarilo's earlier hunts had found successes and he was in decent spirits, if not a little rankled when he paused long enough to realize time's passing--all on full display around him as spring bloomed and nature took its course. Lately, Hydra had gone scarce while the moon grew each night, so he had his inklings there of what was nearing. Concurrently, it was very easy to let his dedication to Kukutux deepen with each day as well, awash in all his thoughts about her, and their own upcoming brood that there was no denying by now.
But, one thing at a time, he must remember--which threaded him into his next notion, something he shouldn't keep delaying before it became too late and he would be terribly hard-pressed to leave the Spear at all.
As he cruised a canter along on the shortest route he knew, he found he only came this way when something was weighing heavily on his mind; it seemed an awfully familiar trek in that regard. Last venture, far more innocently, it had been Clover preoccupying his thoughts but with him now he carried a heavier burden, one made from stewing on what had driven his dark brother to act in the ways he had and depart from them on a note like that. Now that an entire turn of the moon and then some had come and gone, he felt this might be necessary.. if not terribly overdue. Maybe some of the dust had settled, or maybe the wounds had only festered. He would have to find out.
The Ostrega slowed once the forest's edge came to greet him, and he found his pause well before the claim's trafficked borderlands could come underfoot. There, lingering to himself in the last hour of waning daylight, he tilted back his muzzle and raised a call that asked for @Arcturus.
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Arcturus - May 07, 2020
it was long since arcturus' hope had perished that his siblings would darken his doorstep. it was the last thing he expected today, when hearing a familiar howl in the wrong place.
his heart galloped and then halted; what if the news was poor, or some catastrophic event had befallen the family he had left behind? he did not wish for guilt to knife its way deeper into his slow-healing heart.
dread dragged out his steps until at last he came upon his brother, his eyes glimmering and his posture wary. a silence spread between them; arcturus took that time to note his brother looked hale, if nothing else.
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Jarilo - May 11, 2020
Jarilo was not one for lingering on the fringes of claims like this, but he remained dedicated to the cause and persistently watchful in case they might decide against his presence before he could find what he wanted. Who knew what kinds of slander against the evil mountain wolves had run its course here, and what sort of light his family might now be painted in? But, his sights darted towards motion, and soon, the forest revealed Arcturus. The relief he found then was lukewarm, and tentative at its very best. Jarilo watched him come carefully, mindful of himself then, but there was no mistaking the look he wore.
Face to face, never had so many miles spanned between them.
His ears tipped towards a splay, and swallowing back mixed feelings before they could brew, he forged on.
If it's entirely unwelcome that I be here, I will go,he prefaced quietly, short of nothing better to begin with, and remembering clear as day his brother's parting words of fuck this place--something Jarilo felt extended to him, in some abstract way, all made of the fibers of their home. If he wanted nothing to do with them, then he would respect that, and that would be the message he carried back to the mountain-dwelling Ostregas. He only hoped Arcturus could tell him this outright, so the rest of his words came carefully--not wanting to get too far too soon.
But I wanted to see that you were.. doing well, and here..he elaborated, pointing to the copse of trees at behind his inky sibling, all while feeling thankful for the lack of Wraen's presence; that was the last thing he needed now.
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Arcturus - May 12, 2020
they were face to face, but like jarilo, arcturus had never felt a distance so immense between his blood.
his ears pulled back as his brother spoke, noting the way jarilo composed his words was if he were navigating a shark-riddled minefield. careful, too careful -- as if arcturus was fragile or, maybe even unpredictable. he stifled the raw feeling of injustice that welled in his throat, fighting back a torrent of emotions that he had placed on standby this entire month.
if he was to stay polite, he'd have to pretend everything was okay. he'd have to pretend he was overjoyed to see his brother, that things were just fine and he could be plenty crdial thank you very much. but it was hard -- so hard -- and when he spoke he felt he was a thousand miles away observing some ridiculously pompous ceremony held by strange and unintelligible customs.
"i'm doing fine, thanks." his throat constricted. he was cold, so cold -- but he had learned his lesson, and cold is what he must be to protect the vulnerability that was his heart. "i have heard kukutux is with child. congratulations." how stiff he felt, how fake! his gaze swept his brother, trying to suss the real reason jarilo had pursued him. was it truly just a wellness check, or was something else on his inimitable sibling's mind..?
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Jarilo - May 17, 2020
Such a curt reply, so frigid.. and subtly Jarilo shifted himself, looking for the best route to use to navigate this if it was to stay between them. He was being careful, perhaps overly so, but it was out of his own unknown and a want to preserve peace--maybe regain it? He was uncertain, exactly. Arcturus' side of it all was a whole new animal to consider, of course. He did not intend to provoke, so cue more heedful words to come.
I hope you mean that, that you are--and have what you need here,he tacked on, not needing an answer for it, though it was something unsaid that told him he should doubt that or maybe it was him wanting that to be true. Looking at him, though, it didn't seem right, unless it was the veil of skepticism his brother wore that threw Jarilo off. Maybe he was fine. Maybe this was fine here with the Firebirds. He didn't know. After all, he had not known the whole lengths of his brother's unhappiness before either.. so he doubted his ability to pass the perfect judgements.
Regardless, his ears flicked up straight. Kukutux, her pups.. his pups! He was still conceptualizing this, new in the role, but it was his all the same. At least Jarilo was far less on edge about Arcturus' relationship with her (and therefore, those yet to be born) than he was Revui. That was not something he was willing to be weighed down by now, despite all of the ice he didn't know how to break yet.
Thanks..he breathed alongside a dip of a nod and soft tail sway--to sweep away the thoughts of how staggeringly monumental that was for him, and what he wanted to say about how he would have had Arcturus more present in their lives, but that was a selfish thought.
Hydra and Dirge's will be here soon, too,he mentioned, to feel out how he might regard such a piece before he would think to extend any offer of what his sister had said.
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Arcturus - May 19, 2020
they were dancing -- dancing around glass and jagged edges -- two souls whose intimacy had been sundered by irreparable damage. arcturus was painfully aware of how tense he was, and how his stiffness evoked an equal measure of tension in his brother. still, he could not let that protective guise go.
it was difficult to pretend things were all okay -- that nothing had changed, when everything had changed. the landscape, the fabric of their lives, their reality. it had all imperceptibly shifted the day arcturus had strode from the 'spear. for better, or for worse -- all he knew, was there was no going back.
his jaw stiffened at the mention of the leader's expectant litter. he did not want to talk about them, about their future, about their lovely success on a home that was now as inhospitable and alien to him as the scarred face of pluto. "i have what i need here." arcturus supplied, moving past mention of his former leaders with a pang of guilt for handling jarilo so brusquely. all the same, jarilo was every bit moonspearian as arcturus was not -- and he would never forget that. "wraen treats me well, and her family is welcoming." he had no other news to share, and so felt into ruminating silence.
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Jarilo - May 25, 2020
Bypassing the mention of the whelps soonest to populate the slopes, he still found no cracks in this ice and simply nodded first before the proper ruminations could come. Noted, however.
Good,he answered, flatly for him, because if nothing else, at least his brother could say that much: his needs were met, evidently. But, he couldn't help but think that Arcturus wanted little to do with him. Maybe less, considering what he represented, or perhaps it was his timing that made him colder; he had not exactly made haste to come do this, but for reason enough--given the circumstances, and too soon would have only been a different hassle, he believed.
Jarilo began to sense the bitterness that seeped further and further down, given this to feed off, and urged along quite so readily--where a mention of Wraen found it hard to hold his tongue. That suspicion which newly surrounded her, founded on what he had seen for himself paired with what Hydra had given him otherwise.. she is rotting your brain some darkness in him rose, wanting to say. But, if this was what he wanted, then so be it.
Is Wraen why you came here?he asked. And, though unsaid, why she accompanied him on the mountain that day? He was not going to forget, slighted by her disregard for their spire where her sovereignty meant nothing.
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Arcturus - May 27, 2020
still, the ice did not crack.
if jarilo was the mountain, arcturus was the glacier. slow and dull, maybe -- yet none could argue the irrevocable strength that forced mountains and valleys both to move. arcturus did not see moonspear moving in his time, but perhaps his self-made exile had been the little spark that would someday be catalyst to greater things to come.
jarilo's question came from left field, and so for a moment, arcturus' emotions could be seen visibly stirring beneath his normally stony facade. jarilo was shrewd, and surely would read from that glimpse of vulnerability all he needed to know the answer.
all the same, arcturus was nothing if not truthful. "she is part of why i am here, yes." it was a long story, one he did not wish to tell again -- not even to one as deserving as his brother. as far as arcturus felt, jarilo was moonblind and saw things only from moonspear's vantage. whether or not this suspicion was fair, it was all arcturus felt.
he had never been gifted with the ability to easily elucidate how he felt, or why he felt the way he did. all he knew was that it was impossible for him to maintain his current trajectory on the mountain without certain death. that he knew as fact, just as he knew he loved wraen. his love for wraen and his love for his family were two constantly warring tenets -- he could not serve one faithfully without being the death of the other; and in the end arcturus had chosen the death of his soul in favor of the love of his life.
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Jarilo - June 12, 2020
Mentioning Wraen brought him something, at the very least, though difficult to discern exactly what it was. Still, he resisted the welling urge to pick and pry where he saw that opening, instead responding with a slow nod and another small mention to perhaps tie it in why she had even been on his considerations at all.
I wondered, since she had come with you to the mountain then,he said, simply enough, carefully contained--no harshness slipping in if he was effective, just the reason why despite bringing up a day they would all probably rather not think about. And that she has vilified Hydra, a traitor herself after my littermate died all left unsaid, swallowed down with all of his suspicions--stashed beside why Wraen's sister had come to be so shook up over Charon's fresh death moons ago too, and whatever else that family may have against his--why they seemingly had it out for them on the mountain because their ideals were different in practice. If only he had known to act sooner and more firmly, he thought, but now was not the time. The damage was done.. and whether or not he could seek to mend any of it remained to be seen.
Fouler thoughts aside, he remained determined to not be blatantly inflammatory if he could help it, for it would do him no favors. But, he drew a breath and exhaled the sigh through his nose.
I do get the sense you want nothing to do with any of this, me or otherwise. Is that.. right?he asked, up front and just stating as it was and peering back keenly, ready to accept an answer that may not be too picturesque for the constellation of their family. He knew what it sounded like though, despite his attempts to package it neatly.
I don't want to bother you by coming here,Jarilo tacked on, feeling redundant in the notion from when this had first began. If Arcturus intended to cut ties with his blood completely, then that was that and he would respect it. But, he had to know that was what he wanted.
But I did want to see that you were.. whatever you needed to be now. Distance or not, I care about my brother, though if you wanted to cut it all off.. I would have to respect that,tensely delivered, given what he thought it could incite.
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Arcturus - June 14, 2020
wraen was many things to arcturus -- the full scope of which the mountaineer would never truly be able to articulate. he got the sense that jarilo might suspect the depth of her importance, and yet at the same time, arcturus also suspected there was something held tight to the tip of jarilo's tongue -- something his brother dared not utter.
it was not his nature to ignore the finer details, but he did so here; compiling and arraying all the minutia that was jarilo's subtlety, all the things that were left unsaid, the way in which they were said -- he knew those things were just as important.. but he just couldn't.. not today.
and so the conversation changed tacks, going from delicate to direct in seconds. arcturus' gaze lifted, in both surprise and something akin to hurt. his brother truly did not understand -- for all he tried, he did not understand; that rift would remain between them until the day jarilo found himself on the mountain's bad side too. may that day never come, arcturus thought bitterly. "it is not that --" arcturus protested, stopping himself almost immediately. would it do any good to explain? "i never didn't want you to be part of my life, jarilo." arcturus conceded softly, his gaze falling. "but we are on two different sides of a river. i can't change what has been done, i don't want to talk about what's been done either; i just want to live my life, free of other people trying to control me. and it just so happens, i need to be here to do that." it's that simple.. or was it?
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Jarilo - July 09, 2020
His dark brother answered that no, it was not that despite the sensation it left him with. For all the cold that suggested otherwise, then. Jarilo picked up a small tilt of his head, that trickle of confusion finding a route too.
I'm not saying I expected you to talk about it, since you're right, it's all said and done but now just seems.. so..he struggled to articulate this piece, for if he should tiptoe or just blunt cut the matter and he settled on something in-between.
Forced. Like maybe I'm bothering you, or something like it, I don't know,he added on with a shift to his shoulders, and maybe that was just the easiest way to put it, generally. He didn't want to be a reminder of something he wished to avoid entirely.
If here was where it needed to be, then so be it. However he hung momentarily on the matter of control, wondering if that was where the aversion to Hydra he suspected came about--had he viewed himself solely as under her nail? Jarilo supposed he did not relate there, for while his older sister guided him, he had never sought to test the boundaries and change it--he carved out a comfortable space for himself on the mountain he loved and knew well with wolves he appreciated, not that his ambitions had ever been particularly lofty for a homebody. His parents had greater ones for him than he had known to possess himself, and it seemed Hydra believed in him to help him come to this conclusion himself.. gradually.
But evidently this had soured his brother enough to burn this bridge, and for his preference to rest with his copse of trees across the way. Jarilo still suspected Wraen, and did not trust the light she might paint the Moonspearians in--how wrong it just may be. But Arcturus has made his choice.
I guess I didn't realize you were so unhappy before, or feeling controlled enough to end it there,he felt his ears splay a notch with that. The Revui situation had been one thing, but that was not the whole picture yet as he said: said and done, so that wasn't something to discuss.
So maybe I don't understand in full what made it all be, but.. I don't want to be the end all, either.If possible, but if any mention of life on the mountain sent ice through his brother's veins then.. he didn't want that either to help keep the wounds raw. He supposed there might be a balance to strike here, in some way, if he could figure it out.
But I have to ask--is the blood that bad still? Is any mention of my home, or Hydra especially.. nothing you want to deal with?he asked, because for him to understand, he did need to talk about this much.
If so, then noted, and that would be that.
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Arcturus - July 14, 2020
arcturus' heart twisted - for himself, and for his brother.
for all that was said and done. for all the pieces disassembled and cascading to the floor. for how jarilo tried to make sense of these pieces, when arcturus had simply left them where they shattered and moved on.
perhaps, that was how his brother coped.
arcturus' head lifted, gazing skyward as if to forbid the frustrated tears that were threatening to become visible. at length he looked downward, a long sigh pressed through his nostrils. never had he felt so separate from his family -- as if that river was widening and widening.
"you're not bothering me. " arcturus confided, bothered more by his feelings on the matter and why his brother seemed to reawaken them. it was not intention to have this rift -- he hated the bad blood between them. how could he make jarilo understand, when the two of them saw very different sides of the spear? "it won't be the end," a pause as he tried to arrange his words in a manner that made sense to him, when his thoughts were going every which way but in coherence. is the blood that bad? -- emphatically, yes, arcturus wanted to reply, but he held his tongue and opted instead for an indirect answer. "you should not think too much about this." for the first time, arcturus was telling his brother what to do: "there were many things that drove me to this fork in the road, and to dissect each of them would only make your head spin. it would be cause for more questions than answers. the real answer is i am here, and you are there -- our lives are still intersected, but different. all that bad blood will in time fade away, but i will not come back to the spear. my place is here, now."
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Jarilo - July 23, 2020
It was an answer, to the first bit, at least that he wasn't a bother--which good, though he still didn't feel that sense of it. Hearing otherwise did little to soothe the matter for him. But, the rest.. though he heard him plain as day, it never seemed to pin down with anything clearer than a muddy puddle that had maybe just begun to settle. Maybe, if he was being generous.
Jarilo had come to piece it together for himself, to see for himself, finally, so he might know what to make of this moving forward. It was his nature to think it, and then overthink it, right down into the dirt and beyond of course. Arcturus telling him not to think too much on it only warranted a little chuff of an almost-laugh. It was a touch too late for that, but going on, he hoped to end some of his uncertainties with this.
I hope you can at least understand where I come from with this,he added lightly then, still the faintest touch of that humor on his voice. How could he simply turn blindly away, and let it be, without having to look it right in the eyes first?
However, just as he had suspected: he was here, and they were there. That was all it was. He hadn't come to convince him otherwise--he knew better than to get his hopes up like that, or suspect that anything would ever be like it was. Hydra had paired his own personal wonder with a task, and rightfully enough, he couldn't quite extend the offer she had given him in good faith--for he couldn't answer with any certainty if his brother still did not want her dead. Maybe not with the same vehemence of that day, but for her, and her cubs, and even for Arcturus too, he kept that one to himself now. Maybe in time, as his brother said, that would fade. Only time would tell.
So it is what it is. Already that's more than I had before, and.. I feel a bit better knowing your view on it, though,he provided.
What's it like here, anyway? I used to know Clover here, but I don't think she is around anymore.. though her family might be. She said most of it was her family, all moons back,he added to turn the subject towards something potentially friendlier, and giving a piece of what he already had first to hopefully guide this, break the ice somewhere new, maybe. If this was Arcturus' place now, then surely he could speak on the notion without harm.
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Arcturus - July 26, 2020
it was hard. arcturus resented the position he put jarilo in, as he resented his own position too. not even his brother's attempt at humor lightened the seriousness that darkened his face. he tried for a smile, but it fell (and felt) woefully short.
indeed, it was what it was, as jarilo so aptly put.
once, arcturus had hated that sentiment.
when he was younger, more naive. before he realized the many fates in this world were immovable. before he realized his own mortality and futility in the face of time's passing and the events that transpired within.
he was relieved for the topic shift, even if it was but a small diversion to the sneering elephant in the room. "i do not know a clover here. there is another pack just short of the wilds, a family pack -- perhaps she is there."
as for how it was here... how could he explain? it was peaceful. it was tranquil. it almost felt safe, were it not for the way the spear's presence seemed to loom over him like a constant shadow. "most of them are family here, so not so different. there are less trespassers, less landslides too." he tried for a joke and felt it pitiful. a moment of vulnerability eclipsed his hard mood: "i feel far from the stars here."
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Jarilo - August 09, 2020
On Clover, he easily supposed this other family pack was a likely place. It didn't feel like his right to concern himself too badly, though. Hearing that she was not here in the copse still was probably as far as he ought to take it, though it wasn't without a lingering flick of disappointment. Thankfully, he had been ready to accept that from months back when his last attempts to find her had fallen short.
It's possible, I'd say,he rolled his shoulders a bit, half dismissive of that thread of a topic, since he had nowhere else to take it. Now was no time to unpack the details of the friendship he had only begun to foster with the Blackthorn, anyway.
But, unsurprisingly, his brother's answer paired up with what he had known already. Family, mostly, and the geography spoke for itself. Flat. It didn't particularly bode well with him personally (even without landslides), but as such, he had not fled the heights--and neither did he plan to, so long as his budding branch of family could live peacefully, and prosper. He could visit the lowlands any time, but the thought of living full time down below made his lungs squeeze, unnerved.
Less trespassers isn't bad, maybe the woods don't drawn the eye quite so..he supposed. The Spear was kind of hard to miss. He had always wondered if that was what contributed--it was a literal beacon to some, perhaps.
Then: I feel far from the stars here, and no doubt, he was. Jarilo bit back that, though his ears flicked about it.
The view can't be nearly the same,he sighed gently, deciding that was far softer than anything else. In his view, Arcturus was far from them, willingly--so sympathy could only do so much. He walked away from their favor in exchange for this other family, and their forest.
I would miss them a lot,he added, realizing it was not only the stars, but all else too--the crisp, empty air. It was the slopes, the lands he had grown on, where he had run with their parents once, and his siblings after too. Maybe one day soon, his sons and daughters.
Which.. rolled his thoughts back towards home, and what was waiting for him. Had he exhausted all he could here? Probably not, but, he did not want to overstay, or risk souring everything. It was a tenuous balance.
Do you think you'll visit the range again? Not necessarily the Spear, understandably, but the rest of the neighborhood, I guess..Maybe all the flat here satisfied him well enough though and maybe he simply wished to stay far away from what had hurt him so. Jarilo didn't want to be a complete stranger though, and he didn't know how much roaming around he'd be doing soon in the months to come--so hard to say how long-lasting the upcoming goodbye might need to be.
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Arcturus - August 11, 2020
jarilo may have gotten a momentary glimpse to arcturus' vulnerable heart, but it quickly scuttled shut and the moment was gone. he glanced skyward as if he could see the stars spilling out between the clouds -- nothing but bright atmosphere and lounging wisps of clouds.
and here he was, anchored firmly to the strata.
he bitterly missed the bite of the wind as it howled off of the mountain. the crisp, unwelcoming air that seemed to thin and thin until his head at last swam and he felt he was lying in a pool of navy limned with brilliant stars. he missed running with the family, he missed the thousand paths, some carved by his own feet.
he missed it all, but damned if he was not going to show jarilo an ounce of that nostalgia.
his jaw tightened. looking away, arcturus' expression steeled and that tender flower of hurt in his eyes was closed forever. "unlikely." he felt once again a widening chasm between them -- and once more, had the sensation they stood on opposite shores unable to perceive the vantage of the other's eyes and experiences.
it was not safe for him to visit the neighborhood. while he had left moonspear willingly, the last thing he had wanted to do was cause harm to those that lived in the spear. if they came down and saw him lingering in their foothills, they might be aggressive. arcturus was a proud, but not stupid, wolf. he knew how that would end. "it is for the best i stay away for some time. i would like to meet my nephews and nieces, someday. someday -- but not soon."
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Jarilo - August 21, 2020
Judging by the gesture that came before Arcturus even said anything, he had that second to brace for the answer--no, essentially. Maybe not quite so firm as that, unlikely, but it read as negative enough for him. By now, he wasn't in any position to push it into being anything more than that.
His reply was a short quip of a nod, unable to bring it to be anything greater. So it would be, it seemed.
I would like you to meet them, too,he was able to say, truthfully. Jarilo was eager to meet them too and wished, badly, his brother could be closer to them.
But yeah, some day.There was a furrow to his brow then, wondering. Some day, perhaps, made all the more difficult by the prior notion of Arcturus' want to stay well away. He had no intention to haul them across the wilds any time soon and it would be quite some time before he even roamed around himself, let alone with any younglings in tow. He wanted them safe, close to the mountain that had raised him too.
Which.. I should get back, soon,Jarilo brought up.
I don't want to be complete strangers now.. despite everything, but I know I won't be out that much soon. Still, it was good to see you,he said, in some ways better than others. He wouldn't touch on the bad again, leaving it at that as he dipped his muzzle, and began to step back.
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Arcturus - August 28, 2020
small changes in jarilo's posture and the way he talked clued arcturus into the fact their reunion was coming to a close well before his brother said anything. for someone who was so stiff and cold at first, arcturus dreaded watching his brother walk away -- that was worse than encountering him in the first place.
arcturus was relieved jarilo held no acrimony in his tone, no bitterness, over the prospect of arcturus meeting his children someday. in that, there was some slow blooming hope, the seeds just barely planted. maybe, someday. that was almost enough.
he inhaled deeply, closing his eyes as he readied for jarilo to leave. at first, he looked as if he would stay still -- but then, throwing his own stubborness to the wind where it belonged, arcturus drew close and extended a familial hug to his brother. "goodbye, jarilo." he said mournfully, the coldness ebbing to something worse -- loneliness. "good luck."
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Jarilo - September 03, 2020
An unexpected as his brother's closeness was in that instant, the older of the pair took it in stride. This had left him conflicted no doubt, but concluded some notions, so this was just par for the course. He moved enough to deepen the gesture, or at least be plenty open to it once he knew what was going on. When he arced away, it was with a soft exhale of a sigh to his brother's heavy farewell.
He tried to let it go, or at least not let it stick.
Same to you, brother..he offered on the deep dip of that nod. Jarilo squeezed shut his eyes as he began the pivot in earnest, though not before leaving with one last lingering look. A deeply-seeded part of him felt bad for this as he looked behind his dark sibling, whatever it was that made leaving now hard, but choices had been made. Jarilo was standing by his--and respecting Arcturus' want for whatever this was supposed to be, in the end.
Right now, though he hated the word, but chuffed a low, muffled goodbye as he finally went on his way back to where he had come from.
RE: slow dancer, no answer - Arcturus - September 09, 2020
jarilo turned to leave, but not before delivering arcturus a lingering glace. the younger of the pair did his best to receive it gracefully -- his eyes soft with sorrow -- as he watched his brother finally turn to leave.
when jarilo's sloping form rounded off around the bend he released a breath that had been held tight to his chest; "goodbye," the mountaineer mumbled, wondering if his father had hated that word as much as he did -- had his father or mother ever said it at all?
thinking of both of his parents brought a sting to arcturus' still wounded heart. he closed his eyes and stood a long time, thinking of his past, his present, and his future --
and the way they had uniquely braided together and left him no choice but to make his own tough choices in the face of impossibility.