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Sawtooth Spire I just wait for us to go in circles - Printable Version

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I just wait for us to go in circles - Takiyok - May 15, 2020

She felt stronger today, but she knew she wasn't back to her full strength. She still tired easily and although she had gained some wait back, she still appeared too thin. She had a very unrealistic expectation of how quickly she should have been able to get back to normal, which left her incredibly frustrated by the fact that she still didn't feel strong enough to leave and resume her plans. 

But she could no longer spend her days resting; she was starting to go crazy. Taki was not used to being sedentary, and this morning, she had finally decided to push herself and make a short trip along the borders. She was here, consuming resources to which she could not yet help replenish, so a patrol was really the only way she could think to contribute right now. She may still be recovering, but she could walk the borders and intercept a stranger if needed, or so she had convinced herself. 

So far, things had been quiet. She slowly moved along the edge of the territory, not marking anything, but making sure nothing seemed out of place.

RE: I just wait for us to go in circles - Wylla - May 15, 2020

Border patrol was a rare joy for Wylla these days. She'd never had much time for the boring job of treading endlessly along the perimeter, but with two kids and one tag-along to look after, time to herself was a precious commodity. Loping along the border was good for her body, good for her sanity, and good for the pack, too. Too long since the female Eisen's scent joined the males' on the borders. It felt good to re-establish herself with this simple busywork.

What she hadn't expected was to find Takiyok up and about, and on the borders, no less. The paranoia that so often ate at her was quick to rear up with indignation: was Takiyok trying to replace Wylla's scent along the borders, establish authority where she had none? But no, she thought, there was no indication that the other woman had marked anything. She forced herself to relax, reminding herself that Takiyok's presence here was a good thing. Stag would benefit, and Takiyok wasn't a detriment otherwise.

Still, she couldn't fully shake the chill that stole into her tone when she caught up with the winter white she-wolf and said, with an arched brow, you're back. Of course, she'd known, but it was an opportunity for Takiyok to speak on the subject if nothing else.

RE: I just wait for us to go in circles - Takiyok - May 18, 2020

It was Wylla who found her first, which didn't surprise Taki, although she was probably the last wolf here that she wanted to be around. The scent of motherhood on the Eisen only furthered her discontent as she was reminded of one of the contributing factors to her departure from Diaspora. She knew the pups belonged to Mahler, and she hated how happy they must be now. But, she was trying to move past it all; it was weak to dwell on things like a broken heart. She wanted to get better, spend time with her son, and then resume her goal of building her own pack. 

She pushed the burning jealousy deep down where she kept everything she didn't want to think about and offered Wylla a respectful dip of her head. I am, she answered. I was very sick, and Mahler insisted I come back here to heal, she explained. She still wasn't convinced it was a good idea where Stag was concerned; she worried it would do more damage in the long run, having his mother back only to watch her leave again. But she hadn't really been in a position to argue, given that she probably would have died otherwise. I'll repay you for the resources once I'm well enough, she added, ignoring Mahler's protest that it wasn't necessary.

RE: I just wait for us to go in circles - Wylla - June 02, 2020

Wylla listened, and bobbed her head in a slow nod. Mahler was ever the caretaker, gathering those who were ill and injured and seeking to make them better. Abruptly, she recalled the wolf who had traipsed around in Diaspora, claiming to be Mahler's ward while denouncing him in the same breath. Not for the first time, Wylla wondered if Mahler's tendency to care for the weak and sick was a weakness in and of itself, but it was a thought she would never give breath to. It was both his finest characteristic, and the one she liked the least.

Takiyok, at least, was a strong wolf when she was at prime fitness. Wylla couldn't fault Mahler for helping an old, dear friend. If Lycaon was to show up injured or ill near their borders, Wylla would do the same for him. It's spring, Wylla said, sweeping her muzzle in a wide arc that encompassed the forest around them. Plenty of resources. There's no need to repay anything. Just... spend some time with Stag.

She pursed her lips, uncomfortable, but finally added, kids need their mothers in their lives. Hidden there under the surface, a quiet question: are you staying this time?

RE: I just wait for us to go in circles - Takiyok - June 08, 2020

Again her promise to repay resources was blown off. Yet no matter who told her or how often she was told, it just didn't sit right with her to take from a pack and then not give back, even if some of its members had once belonged to her own pack. So, she would find some way to repay them, regardless of being told that it wasn't needed. 

As for Stag, spending time with him was really all she wanted to do, so it was easy for her to respond. Of course, Taki said first. She nodded again at Wylla's next statement. Yes they do, I'm guessing even when they aren't exactly children anymore. She felt guilty denying her son of his mother while she was gone. She had no intention of going anywhere anytime soon, but she had no idea what would happen once she was strong again. Already, she had began to wonder if she should just put everything on hold indefinitely to stay here with Stag; that felt like the right thing to do. But that decision came with an entirely different kind of guilt—she was giving up on what she felt was her duty, and that also didn't feel right. She supposed she would just have to figure out which guilt she could live with and which she couldn't. 

What led the pack to choose this part of the mountains? she asked, seemingly out of nowhere. It wasn't that she necessarily disliked the territory, but more that she was curious as to what drove them to choose this place to raise the pack's next generation. Maybe it was the safety that went with the territory? It would certainly be more difficult for intruders to make it very far. She was certainly drawn to the higher elevations and had already planned to explore them once she was stronger. The lower parts were nice, too; they were green and lush and promised a flourishing spring and summer. Really that all answered her question, but she was interested in the other woman's opinion.

RE: I just wait for us to go in circles - Wylla - June 09, 2020

No answer one way or the other in Takiyok's response, which was okay for now. Simply having Takiyok here for even a little while would hopefully do wonders for Stag. Wylla worried how he might react if his dam chose to leave again in the end, and once upon a time she would've made that a personal battle, but she'd done a lot of growing up since Grimnismal. That wasn't the say she was at all mature, but she was old enough now not to take it as a personal slight when wolves moved on. All she could do was be there for the yearling if Takiyok decided not to stay.

Especially when they aren't children anymore, she agreed, musing momentarily on Tiercel and her whereabouts. Like Takiyok, she still felt a stab of guilt anytime her wayward daughter crossed her mind, even though Tiercel was the one to leave her, not the other way around. If she'd been a better mother, and less inclined to take out her rage and grief on an innocent child, and more prepared for the task of child rearing, perhaps things would've turned out differently. Perhaps Tiercel would be with her now.

Before she could get too mired in these thoughts, Takiyok changed the subject, which Wylla was glad for. Strange how all the competitive feelings she'd had about Diaspora's Kapitan dissolved now that their roles were reversed; the conversation felt almost easy now when it had been rife with tension last time. I don't really know, she replied, giving their surroundings a once over. Mahler and Stag chose it with our third Eisen, Wintersbane. I think Mahler liked how nice it was up here. There's hardly any reason to leave, is what he said.

Personally, I find it all a little dangerous. Did you see the foothills down by where the mountain meets the river? They reminded her of jagged teeth ripping up the landscape. I'm worried for the pups when they try to go down there for the first time.

RE: I just wait for us to go in circles - Takiyok - June 12, 2020

She nodded her agreement, but was otherwise quiet as her mind added yet one more reason why she should stay with Stag and abandon her previous plans. She wished she could erase all her emotions and be logical and objective about this. There was once a time when she was rather good at that, but becoming a mother had left her more easily influenced by her feelings, especially when it came to her children; she loved them more than her own life, but that love felt suffocating at times and often took away her control over things. For someone who needed to feel in control at all times, realizing that your entire life was bound to the soul of an entirely different being—one you really couldn't control anymore—was terrifying. And what was insane about the whole thing was that if she had it all to do over again, she would still have brought them into the world. Nothing could ever give her more purpose than her sons and daughter; so then why was she so torn on what to do? She clearly needed more time to consider everything. 

She thought it was kind of nice up here too, but she had always been fond of the higher parts of the range. It pleased her to know that Stag had played a part in establishing this new home, but it also reminded her of what all she had missed. Hardly any reason to leave. That was a very Mahler opinion. She gave a huff of laughter and shook her head.

And when Wylla mentioned the spiky foothills, Taki nodded. Yes, I thought they looked dangerous as well, she answered. Good for intruders but not so much for young, clumsy children, she agreed. And it wasn't like you could keep children from doing dangerous things either, so the chances were high that one of them would wander down there on their own before they were ready. So there are no plans to migrate anywhere else then? she asked. That was always the plan in Diaspora—that they would move often so that they could hold a claim on the entire range. Looking back now, it was far easier said than done. Perhaps the Eisens were content to stay in one place for the foreseeable future; she certainly wouldn't blame them.

RE: I just wait for us to go in circles - Wylla - July 14, 2020

I'm so sorry for the long wait on this! I've been struggling really hard with my writing inspiration lately. Since this is pretty outdated now (my fault), I'm going to pull out of it so we can both focus on newer content, but hopefully we can have a fresh thread sometime soon!

Wylla expected more disagreement on the subject of the foothills, having come to expect it whenever she mentioned it to Mahler, but to her surprise, Takiyok had the same opinion. She let her breath out in a slow sigh, shaking her head and saying, nothing I said could change their opinions on the territory. I just hope none of the pack's kids hurt themselves.

Takiyok's follow-up question earned a shake of her head. Not that I'm aware of, but honestly, Wintersbane and Mahler make most of the decisions. For all I know, they're planning to move eventually. I'm just here to look pretty. A joke—Wylla was a vain wolf, but with her short, flyaway fur, she certainly wasn't the classic picture of wolfish beauty. If she thought about it too much, she would begin questioning her purpose in Sagtannet, so she banished the thought.

I should get back to my daughter, she said after a moment's thought. Not because she didn't want to get to know Takiyok better now that she didn't feel the same rivalry as before, but because Phaedra was in a fragile place right now. Wylla didn't like to leave her for long. I'm glad you're well, she closed, a little awkwardly, before dismissing herself to return to her children.