she had no wish to speak to zephyr right now, didn't want to talk to a single damn soul about the words...those stupid, stupid words she'd just been delivered. best not to think about the meaning lurking behind them, they were just words...horrible, devastating words. but he deserved to know...not that she owed a thing to the world right now, want to talk about 'deserved'? she had a whole shit ton she could snarl about in relation to such an incredulous idea as deserving anything right now. so the half hearted decision had been made to skim by the location where the wraith had chosen to settle, if she happened to spot the little ghost haunting the borders then she'd deal with..delivering that...news or something. she didn't really know, she was banking on not bumping into zephyr honestly, the only reason she even strayed so close was to ease her own guilt at keeping this pain to herself. strange sentence if she thought about it, to feel guilty to not make someone feel what she felt. but would zeph even feel the daggers cut that deep? such vehement ice had steeled any words spoken of their papa before- a hitched breath at the word as it floated by with such languid indifference- papa.

it is not zephyr or his spoken of mate that she ends up coming across; no, rather what could've been mistaken for a lump of rock were it not for the sun's persistent rays catching the soft light of downy fur. somber features press even further into a frown as she inspects this...pup? from afar. did it like...belong to zephyr? he didn't really give off paternal vibes, especially considering that well...he'd killed a puppy before. strange how such a fact no longer had a proper bite to it, such obsessive pondering over it had left her desensitized to this faded fact of their history. "i hope zephyr hasn't taken to kidnapping pups" she drawled, tones lacking any humour that perhaps should have accompanied such a statement. no, the sharp edged blades to spin from her jaws were nothing like anything polaris had uttered to the world before. even as she lingered, voice intended to have a sharp enough volume to stir the youngster from its nap, the want to whisk away before those eyes could focus on her screamed and pleaded. but somewhere, under that murky swamp of darkness that had invaded her soul the moment she had scrambled from the borders of whitebark stream, a flicker of concern glowed stubbornly. a shard of light fighting back those leering shadows cramping around it, why was such a young child out here alone? did they even actually know of her sibling or was the location mere coincidence? a heavy, wearied sigh was all to shift forth.

the beam of that smile was scorching as she flinched a little; like a lurking vampire straying too close to the sun's burning slants. that unflitered, untainted joy of unblemished youth...she swallowed thickly, averting that strained gaze momentarily. she'd only snap back when he spoke again, shrill boyish voice piercing the air. brows furrowed at the unfinished question hanging between them, head tilting very lightly as she mused lowly "am i..." was she what? what did he see to drag forth such a query? she looked down at her dirtied paws, as if the limbs that worked so hard to keep the restless nature of her mind at bay with her travels would have all the answers to what the shadow could have wondered. it seems any chances of getting to know what might have been uttered were gone though as that puppy glee grew fixated on the flower blooming before them. 

narrowed eyes glazed a little as he reverenced this minute drop of life and there was no use even trying to bite back the incredulous snort that pushed sourly into the writhing air. this....this puny, delicate little flower was alive, gossamer gleam glowing defiantly in the light as it pushed brazenly from the earth. she could shred it with the lightest gesture and yet here it grew, sneering at her situation. the fact that her father, a being of strength and power, love and kindness now lay dead and rotting in the earth but this...THIS FLOWER...lived on. it took a great deal of strength to resist the urge to launch herself and shred it to pieces, teeth pressing so hard together that a sickening pain launched itself through her jaws. 

she struggled against the sting of her eyes, not quite tears but something worse; this burning pain that begged for the release of crying but it just wouldn't come. exhaling heavily through clenched teeth, it was with a great amount of effort that she looked back to this child. also defying the earth's ridiculous kink for cruelty by standing out here alone and unscathed and whispered "why are you out here alone? where...are your family, your pack?" luckily she didn't feel the same reaction towards this soot covered scrap as she did with the flower, rather than wishing to tear into him she was come over with a desperate need to protect. to make sure the world did not add another victim, did not get another win in this corrupt game.

she stiffens at the innocently posed question, looking to those wide, unfaltering eyes as a tense nod was given. of course things were not okay, nothing was bloody okay! but alas, that was not really what one would share with a child, best to keep them believing everything was 'okay' for as long as those eyes remained full of childlike love for everything around them. so easily swayed by the beauty of the vast world embracing them, blinded by flowers and rivers, singing breezes and tickling raindrops, all playing a role in masking the true nefarious nature of these lands. of life. 

the air whistled between her teeth as a dejected sigh was thrown forth at the statement. glaring at its bold dance as she muttered lowly "yes i see your flower..it's very..nice" it was nice of course and had it been mere hours earlier she would've been pleased to marvel at it with him. but right now, right now it's presumptuous beauty was a sickening mockery as teeth pressed against the still healing skin on her lip. dragging that rueful gaze away from the frivolous dancer growing from the earth, she looked upon the rook once more. marvelling at the darkness of his pelt, trying to ignore what it reminded her of, how it seemed to suck at the light probing curiously around it. a little flicker of surprise accompanied his sigh, the sound such a contrast to the blissful babbles in regards to his plant friend. it surely didn't offer her any reassurance when he proceeded to announce 'sleeping'.

a chill rippled up her spine at the stroke of that word. maybe they really were just asleep? he'd snuck out because he'd grown sick of waiting for them to wake up? but what if....what if the lack of consciousness he spoke of came from a much more permanent fate. she felt like she was going to get sick, the chill writhing up her entire figure. as if she'd been plunged into a shallow pool of icy water, the liquid slowly rising to hug cruelly at each curve of her figure before inevitably drowning her. as he rattled on, the words grew more and more distant. no she knew none of these names and dammit who had decided it was smart for pups to call parents by the universal terms of mama and papa? the latter word still hitched dangerously in her mind as she rubbed a paw back and forth through the shivering blades of grass. it certainly didn't help when you needed to know who exactly those titles belonged to, there were thousands of 'mama's out there. 

voice strained, she mumbled hoarsely "no i don't...think i do? what um, what do your parents look like and" her throat grew unbearably tight as she struggled to keep her voice above a whisper "how long have they been...sleeping?" please, if there were any gods out there, please let him just say an hour or so. not that that even confirmed anything, death travelled on swift wings. swallowing against the ache of her throat, she let trembling limbs buckle enough for her behind to rest upon the cool earth.

the faintest ghost of a smile perches upon blackened lips, the act putting a strange pressure on her face as if grief had weighed the muscles down to the point of being able to muster none else but a wearied frown. scattered fragments of distant memories tumbled across her vision; from babbling fervently about each and every critter and plant she came about, to protecting little bird families from the prying eyes of other wolves and refusing quite pointedly to partake in any hunt, dismayed that their speciecs lived off of the hurt and death of others. such bright flashes, most accompanied by the buzz of lazy summer days and the distant giggle of the creek. the stony exterior of her features cracks, sapped despondency writhing about dull eyes but she keeps that wavering smile; keeps it focused on the leering flower. 

she is just a child. she wants to crawl under the protective wing of a parental figure and weep for she is not...she is not ready to grow up and face death with unflinching acceptance. but in this situation right now she can not be the child, not the type she wishes to be. to embrace innocent selfishness and focus on her own screaming needs. slowly, she breathes, and smiles. they are like lead but quietly, her paws skim the earth to finally come closer to the shadow and his flower. 

standing there, the dove and the blackbird, both blinking at the defiant spark of life before them. unknowingly sharing the blood of the very soul who's departure had brought them together. 

she knows that water makes flowers grow but when she murmurs, that is not what she says "i had no clue, thank you for telling me that you're..very smart" breathless, as if speaking those light toned words were as exerting as racing across the territories. 

a blink at quietly recalled descriptions, a sudden shiver gripping ahold of her as vigilance spikes viciously through that gloomy cloud. things slowly slot together. it couldn't be, could it? the thud of her heart grows rapid, the shudder crawling up her limbs is relentless as she fixates on the glossy darkness. his parents were asleep, his papa the giver of that night cloak adorning him, the nearest pack she could catch scent of being whitebark stream...papa he'd....he...new family.

her limbs buckled into a rough sit, sides heaving as wild eyes cast on the boy. it had to be a coincidence this couldn't...but, but it could! she wanted to scream, find a way into his little brain and see from those eyes since he could not, could not confirm what she needed to know. "tell me...do you remember the name of your pack? did it have...a stream? was it near here?" don't bombard him with questions, she had to be careful..too many questions would overwhelm him and steal a shot at an answer but it was so hard when her mind clamoured and roared. why was he out here? she'd ask of course, but not yet, she had to find out if she was related to this other bird; if their feathers were gifted from the same wolf.

she most certainly did not have any wish to return to those borders if that is what he was implying. to come across the drift of that dejected wraith once more, feel the weight of death laden eyes press mournfully upon her. that initial uttering still trailed her, trilling with haunting sweetness 'i'm sorry'. it was whispered on the breeze, from the curious rustle of leaf laden trees....'i'm sorry' 'i'm sorry' 'i'm sorry'. she had never deserved those words, should never been handed them with gentle care. for it was her who needed to moan it, hiss it, scream it. it was all her, she'd believed that her papa didn't have the space in that massive heart to love both them and these new kids...she blinked at the whimsical crow. she was an idiot, and as a result her papa had died twice without her ever getting to say goodbye...or even hello second time around. an ugly noise gurgled from the back of her constricting throat, claws of agony suddenly squeezing unbearably tight as eyes burned once more, refusing the grant of relief. she supposed she did not deserve to cry, to weep and release. much more fitting that she should have to carry it with her forever. 

eyes tear away, blinking furiously to distant gleams of verdant bliss. not now, she's gotta...hold on, hold on to something. figure it out..that's all she can do right now, figure out if the blood humming in their veins is related. if he said 'wanna go', that is pretty much a yes, right? to having a stream she supposed...he wouldn't ask if she wanted to go if she seemed to be describing some random place? right?? fuck she didn't have a clue, kids were difficult. eyes flutter shut briefly, darkness pulling her into its soothing caress as she sighs heavily. she honestly does not think she has ever suffered such intense exhaustion. yet as appealing as the plush lands of rolling easthollow sounded, she just could not bear the idea of having to explain herself to anyone right now. she knew she couldn't hide out forever but...time, she just..she just needed time. she'd survived losing papa before, she could do it again. 

arty?

a pursed frown, frustration snarling darkly in the shadows of her mind as an exasperated grunt punched the air. of course she didn't know who arty- wait, arty...artyom? the pallid man, of course! "yes!" she exclaims quite abruptly after such stormy silence "i know arty- artyom, yes?" this had to be...it, this...she peered close at him now...so this was kind of a..brother? of hers? it had to be, coincidences like that didn't just...well they just didn't. should she tell him? how did you even say that, 'hi my name is polaris i'm actually sort of your sister because we share the same dead dad' she swallowed, maybe not. 

instead she merely inhaled shakily and murmured "i'm polaris and you know what? i also like flowers"

eyes would gutter with surprise when his minute figure shifted closer to her side whilst little words of reassurance tickled at her ears. a different kind of ache clutched tight at her heart as she regarded him closely, small smile stepping across her features at his quick assurance that they did not have to go see artyom. if only she'd come across him a day previous and he'd told her then, things could be so much better right now if she'd never met the washed man. she'd be living a lie sure, but in that moment she'd rather cling to false beliefs than have to look upon the truth that tore hungrily at her cowering mind. 

capricious smile still lingered as he offered his name and she returned quietly "it's very nice to meet you alsek" all the while her mind clamoured and writhed with the knowledge that this child was related to her, he was so kind. she wondered what his mother had been like, how different had she been to alessia and rosalie? or had she been quite similar to the fiery women that had raised polaris, was that what had drawn kavik to her in his moment of loss? she'd been too harsh with her judgement, she didn't really understand what exactly had led to the creation of more youth and it still made something within her spark with disdain but...was she not worse in wishing him unhappiness too? just because any joy he may have found in his final days had not been in relation to her family...he'd still deserved what he'd found. 

as the blackbird scurried off after his little exclamation, the motion of her paws spoke a silent decision. call her selfish but she wasn't about to return this boy to that place of death and despair. this blissful light twinkling in that pure gaze, she wasn't going to allow it to be snuffed out. if he didn't want to go back to the place where his parents had drifted into their eternal sleep then she wasn't going to force him, no matter how young he was, she decided it was his decision. she'd only accompany him to those borders if he specifically asked for it, so for now the pale dove simply followed him to his flowers.