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+--- Thread: Stone Circle No more tears left to cry (/showthread.php?tid=42367)
No more tears left to cry - Arlette - July 05, 2020
Backdated to about a week after the cougar attack
Everyone in the pack had probably seen her, reluctant to leave Kaito and her unborns. Many had visited and talked to her, trying to convince her to give them a worthy goodbye. Especially her mother had been the one pestering the most. It annoyed her. Arlette wanted to do as little as possible with her mother. She had grown very angry towards her. Perhaps because she was so persistent, Arlette was more reluctant to give them up. Still, as a medic, she could tell she herself wasn't really doing so well. The corpses weren't helping her own healing progress. The female realized that now after more than a week she was still alive. Her wounds had not taken her yet, and it was another sign to her that she was going to have to learn to live without Kaito and her stillborns.
Arlette had been reluctant to leave them behind in fear if of her mother taking them. Still, she did need a drink from time to time. She was just about to get up when she heard someone approach. Arlette turned, ears falling back when she spotted her mother. She bared her teeth in warning, which her mother seemed to respect and stop. She had brought food for her but no amount of food could make her able to forgive her mother. Arlette's eyes turned harsh while her mother's eyes just looked at her with pity. "Arlette, please. The smell is getting worse and you might get even worse infections by being close to them. I don't want you to die. Please talk to me," her mother's voice seemed to plead. Arlette stepped protectively over them.
Arlette had not spoken to her mother. All those times she came to visit her Arlette had ignored her, and her food too. She had accepted food from others but not her mother. Perhaps it had been petty and childish. But her mother had treated her unjustly and she was going to let her know. And perhaps, that last thought was what finally made her speak. "I've been doing what you say for years and in times I needed you, you decided to hate me! So I can't see why I should listen to you now," she bristled in return. Her mother looked shocked at her reaction but was quick to frown, and of course, be offended. Arlette kept her eye contact with her mother, something rare and new for the pale female.
"That is absurd! I never hated you. I cannot hate you, you are my daughter," Valette instantly returned with a frown on her face. Arlette felt the fur on her neck bristle. It hurt but it was just her body reacting to the lies of her mother. Arlette's face darkened. "I have been trying to be the perfect daughter for years. I've helped you with everything you needed. Your litter with Greyback, I was there every day to help you with them. I made sure to work hard for the pack, pursue trades. I never left Easthollow until I was close to two years old because I didn't want to upset you since all your kids were leaving." The girl had to take a breathing pause. "Well I made one mistake, one. An honest one and you and your sicking ego decided to condemn me for it. You ignored me once you found out. You didn't even look to me. Perhaps it would have been better if you had kicked us out because then I would still have Kaito since we wouldn't be here when this attack happened. And you know why I stayed? Out of loyalty for you, even though you treated me like shit. YOUR OWN DAUGHTER," she vented.
It had been a long time coming for Arlette, she had been keeping this all inside. At first, so afraid to be exiled from her family, like Vespera, but after the attack, a wave of anger had spread through her body. If she would have gone then she and Kaito would have been together. "You know, you portray yourself as this warm loving matriarch but if someone doesn't obey to your wants and wishes, your behavior turns real ugly, mother. What would the rest of the family of the way you treated your own daughter?," Arlette seethed and bared her teeth as she spoke. Valette as quick to stammer but Arlette took it no mind because she wasn't here to hear her mother's excuses. To have her mother say to her that she couldn't be hated because she was her daughter felt like a lie.
Arlette wished to walk away but she wasn't going to leave her loved ones with Valette. It seemed her mother was close to being in tears. Big fat liar tears, she thought. Arlette's face only displayed her pure anger. "I'm-- I-- I shouldn't have treated you that way. I am sorry about it. It was ugly but I've been trying to make up for my behavior! I was extremely jealous and it showed. I'm not perfect either. It isn't an excuse. I understand that you are mad at me. I just hope you can forgive me for it. I just want to make it up now and take care of you. You still are that perfect daughter." Arlette didn't know what her mother was feeling, or how guilty she really felt. However, to Arlette, it felt her mother came too late with her help. This was the first time she verbalized that she was sorry. Where had her mother been when she needed help. She had left her to rot at the bottom of the pack. Her mother probably thinking she had been 'kind' by not kicking her out of Easthollow.
Arlette ket out a snort in anger. "Marks are made, visible and invisible. I will never be the same, and, I will never want to be that perfect daughter again. I've said what I wanted to say to you." She had been the happiest when she hadn't been that perfect daughter. Valette looked like she wanted to protest but Arlette didn't seem to get a word in return. She could tell she had upset her mother but it had been the truth, her truth. She watched as her mother turned and left her. Her mother had left the meal she had brought for her in the first place. Arlette's paw trembled as anger left her. She sat down, she had never talked to anyone like that, let alone her mother. But she was never going to allow anyone to walk all over her again. She had been trying to be so good and when she hadn't been she was unfairly punished.
Arlette hadn't been able to settle after her mother left. The flies were annoying and after a quick drink, she had returned to the smell. She looked at Kaito who looked little like he did when he was alive. This was not a worthy ending, not for any of them. She had been selfish, an ugly emotion she probably inherited from her mother. Arlette was reluctant but didn't want to be like Valette. The nastier side her mother had. Arlette sat before Kaito. But what did he like as a resting place? She knew her mother had wanted to bury Kaito at the circle, but he had not believed in the stones. He had a different belief where she didn't know anything about, except for their rest day.
The girl looked at her young ones. They hadn't even gotten a chance to experience life. But she did want them together with their father. Arlette looked at the prey her mother left this morning. She knew she needed strength if she was going to bury them. She started to eat and think about the location. Suddenly she knew, Arlette just knew what the right spot was for him. It wasn't at the stones. She thought to maybe bury him outside of the circle but, what if she would leave Easthollow one day? She could never visit them. She didn't want her mother to stand in her way. So once she finished her meal the girl placed the stillborns on top of Kaito and started to drag his body towards Fox's glade. To the place where they met and their lives intertwined together.
Dawn was coming up when she reached the spot. To move a body more than a week old was challenging, to say the least. Arlette's wounds had reopened, but she would tend to those later. First, she had to dig. She wanted to keep this spot secret. The girl worked until she couldn't. The three bodies pushed into the hole. She had no more tears left to cry. "Please take care of them. Until we see each other again. I love you," she ended in a whisper. She was going to have this event be a reminder for her, a reminder to stand up for herself. It had not only been her mother's fault that her pups died. It had been her own fault too that she lived her life in such submission. She put anyone before herself. This had resulted in multiple deaths. She had not taken care of herself properly but, from now on she would. Otherwise, Kaito and her pups died for nothing. "I promise," she spoke with a firm nod. To then finally, lie them to rest in the earth.