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+--- Thread: Fox's Glade i’m going to break something (/showthread.php?tid=43376)
i’m going to break something - Buzzard - August 18, 2020
What the fuck’s up with all the rain around here?they grumble as they flick a clump of mud from their toes (for the 500th time probably).
Seriously what the fuck was up? It’s like the clouds had been holding in their piss as they desperately tried to find a restroom. They didn’t find one, so now they had to pee in the large bush that was Mother Nature. Buzzard gagged at the thought. Great, now they’d never get that image out of their head.
They turned to their siblings, who were trailing behind as they should. The eldest always gets to lead; that’s written in the family handbook.
Someone change the subject quickly. I got sky piss on the brain.
RE: i’m going to break something - Vulture - August 18, 2020
"Ugh, I'm looking like some kind of fucking swamp monster." Being the lightest amongst the trio, the dirt and mog was clearly being dragged. She had a clear face of disgust, lifting her paws high in an exaggerated manner to try and avoid any of the murky spots. She was a noble lady! This was beneath such a vixen like herself!
"Hey you think there are groups in these wilds," there was a sparkle in Vulture's eye, "maybe with some hotties?"
"Hey you think there are groups in these wilds," there was a sparkle in Vulture's eye, "maybe with some hotties?"
RE: i’m going to break something - Condor - August 18, 2020
their little party forged on ahead, looking as sad as condor had ever seen it. and he had seen it very sad in very many different ways.
buzzard loved to claim their age privilege. condor had never quite seen the point – a handful of minutes only – but who was he to discourage the little rivalry they’d built up with vulture? the downside of escaping from your family was that there were precious few sources of entertainment, unless someone had the misfortune to trip.
ah, at least it seemed more likely by the moment. everything in this place was just so thoroughly disgusting. mud and rain everywhere, none of that nice dry desert sand. his fur would need so much cleaning once they were done.
tragically, buzzard was beginning to resemble a wet rat. they already didn’t bathe, so perhaps all the rain was a blessing in disguise; for now, alas, it only made them look like they’d just been pulled from a river a second before drowning altogether. unfortunately for them, it wasn’t so much a change from their usual fashion.
less tragically, vulture was already caked in mud. perils of having a light coat, condor suspected. and she looked, unsurprisingly, absolutely miserable about the whole affair; condor bestowed upon her a winning smile as she dragged herself through the muck with the most ridiculous high steps.
“you’re going to want to clean yourself up first. though i suppose swamp monster might be exactly to the taste of the people here.” with an exaggerated shudder, condor went to nudge his shoulder into buzzard’s flank and then, at the last second, thought better of it. “think of it as an opportunity, darling. won’t it be so much easier to find food when it’s all drowned?”
buzzard loved to claim their age privilege. condor had never quite seen the point – a handful of minutes only – but who was he to discourage the little rivalry they’d built up with vulture? the downside of escaping from your family was that there were precious few sources of entertainment, unless someone had the misfortune to trip.
ah, at least it seemed more likely by the moment. everything in this place was just so thoroughly disgusting. mud and rain everywhere, none of that nice dry desert sand. his fur would need so much cleaning once they were done.
tragically, buzzard was beginning to resemble a wet rat. they already didn’t bathe, so perhaps all the rain was a blessing in disguise; for now, alas, it only made them look like they’d just been pulled from a river a second before drowning altogether. unfortunately for them, it wasn’t so much a change from their usual fashion.
less tragically, vulture was already caked in mud. perils of having a light coat, condor suspected. and she looked, unsurprisingly, absolutely miserable about the whole affair; condor bestowed upon her a winning smile as she dragged herself through the muck with the most ridiculous high steps.
“you’re going to want to clean yourself up first. though i suppose swamp monster might be exactly to the taste of the people here.” with an exaggerated shudder, condor went to nudge his shoulder into buzzard’s flank and then, at the last second, thought better of it. “think of it as an opportunity, darling. won’t it be so much easier to find food when it’s all drowned?”
RE: i’m going to break something - Buzzard - August 18, 2020
You say that like you don’t look like a swamp monster 24/7.Buzzard laughed like that was the funniest shit they’d ever said in their life. Ah, teasing siblings: the highest form of comedy.
They snickered before chipping in.
Yeah, don’t worry about it sis. Dudes have hoooorible standards. They’d loooove you.They stopped to give Vulture a little wink wink, nudge nudge.
Buzzard turned to their brother, who was talking about soggy food now. Ew. Gross. Gag.
Wow. Men have shitty tastes in women and food.
They leaped towards Condor.
Common, we can do better than some moist rabbit foot or soggy leftovers. Someone’s gotta have something good hiding around here.
RE: i’m going to break something - Vulture - August 18, 2020
"How I would love to bathe in the wine right now," Vulture complained with a sigh. She always had a rather odd taste, while she never drank the forbidden nectar, she simply preferred to cover herself in. The love of covering herself in blood, she always called it something more sophisticated like 'wine,' but not many would know of the word.
"Fuck you too Buzzard, oh wait, no one has or will," she snickered, "you always look like a swamp monster." While she was carried in light, and golden tones, her brothers were always bathed into the mud, regardless when it rained or not.
"Honeys, should we raid someone's den?" Surely there was a pack or two nearby.
"Fuck you too Buzzard, oh wait, no one has or will," she snickered, "you always look like a swamp monster." While she was carried in light, and golden tones, her brothers were always bathed into the mud, regardless when it rained or not.
"Honeys, should we raid someone's den?" Surely there was a pack or two nearby.
RE: i’m going to break something - Condor - August 18, 2020
his siblings took so little prodding to go after each others’ throats. ah, to be fair, so did he.
“i’m sorry to say it would wash right off. this rain is truly unnecessary. but come now. who would our sibling be without dirt and grease all over?” condor sighed dramatically. “i suppose they might only attract toads, but for them i’m sure they’re quite a catch. no warts…i think.”
and then came the parry. credit where it was due: condor clicked his tongue, lifting his head back as if struck. shitty tastes???? wow. low blow. “oh, you wound me, darling. i can stand a little water, as long as it requires no work.”
and digging around for strangers’ caches sounded like work.
"oh, of course. surely we can’t be the only idiots who’ve abandoned a nice sunny canyon for this.” condor shook his head. “but with all this rain, how are we to find them?”
“i’m sorry to say it would wash right off. this rain is truly unnecessary. but come now. who would our sibling be without dirt and grease all over?” condor sighed dramatically. “i suppose they might only attract toads, but for them i’m sure they’re quite a catch. no warts…i think.”
and then came the parry. credit where it was due: condor clicked his tongue, lifting his head back as if struck. shitty tastes???? wow. low blow. “oh, you wound me, darling. i can stand a little water, as long as it requires no work.”
and digging around for strangers’ caches sounded like work.
"oh, of course. surely we can’t be the only idiots who’ve abandoned a nice sunny canyon for this.” condor shook his head. “but with all this rain, how are we to find them?”
RE: i’m going to break something - Buzzard - August 18, 2020
That’s nasty.Bathing in blood was just fucking weird. That’s just facts!
Kinda metal thoughWeird things can be awesome too. They simply had to respect their little sister’s hobby. Maybe they’d try it out someday.
They glared at their brother as he spoke, and stuck their tongue out once he was finished.
Pssh, whatever. Toads can be hot.Probably hotter than all the boys Vulture’s slept with.
I’m proud to be the honorary toad-magnet of the group.
Condor was really proving their point here.
You’d really choose some wet dogshit over some freshly caught meat just to avoid getting your paws dirty?Boring.
I’d hardly call it work. Think of it as a fun family bonding experience with a high chance of being killed!Now that’s a fun Friday night if they’ve ever heard one.
We’ll find someone eventually. A little rain can’t stop us!
RE: i’m going to break something - Vulture - August 19, 2020
"It's better then dirt!" Vulture pushed back to her siblings disgust to her hobby. They often poked and prodded at it, but never truly thrown distaste for it, or stopped the bloodied bird. It was a love to be covered in a darker tone, but not of the grimy grossness of whatever they are currently in.
"Alright buddy, whatever you say," she rolled her eyes at Buzzard.
"We'll, we did steal from them y'know, doubt they'd let us back," she laughed at the thought. Those damn coyotes hoarded the food, and so naturally, the trio stole from them, "but now we gotta find some new victims, here here!"
"Alright buddy, whatever you say," she rolled her eyes at Buzzard.
"We'll, we did steal from them y'know, doubt they'd let us back," she laughed at the thought. Those damn coyotes hoarded the food, and so naturally, the trio stole from them, "but now we gotta find some new victims, here here!"
RE: i’m going to break something - Condor - August 19, 2020
condor had to admit: there was some dignity to blood. more than there was in the muck tangled up in buzzard’s coat, at least. no, a scavenger bird should not mind a little blood; he even enjoyed it at times. perhaps not quite to vulture’s level.
but there was also more dignity to be found in her fondness for caking herself with it than there was to be found in buzzard’s hasty riposte, which only succeeded in – well, to be truthful, condor was not sure what he hoped to gain by suggesting he found toads hot.
“it’s very noble of you to keep the hordes from those of us who have taste.” condor lowered his muzzle somberly, a feigned show of respect that didn’t have the chance to last, busy as he was waiting for the implication to swell vulture’s head like a balloon.
“so picky in your choice of free meal, darling. food is food…though i do love a chase.” his smile widened. “perhaps we should each pick our own direction? and reconvene here when we’ve found some…targets.”
but there was also more dignity to be found in her fondness for caking herself with it than there was to be found in buzzard’s hasty riposte, which only succeeded in – well, to be truthful, condor was not sure what he hoped to gain by suggesting he found toads hot.
“it’s very noble of you to keep the hordes from those of us who have taste.” condor lowered his muzzle somberly, a feigned show of respect that didn’t have the chance to last, busy as he was waiting for the implication to swell vulture’s head like a balloon.
“so picky in your choice of free meal, darling. food is food…though i do love a chase.” his smile widened. “perhaps we should each pick our own direction? and reconvene here when we’ve found some…targets.”
RE: i’m going to break something - Buzzard - August 19, 2020
Why thank you little brother.They raised there chin to the heavens and shut their eyes. The only thing needed to complete the self-righteous look was a waving fist.
It’s a hard job, but I’d do anything for my siblings.
They were glad they could get these two to come to their senses. What’s the fun in snagging meals if there was no excitement involved?
That’s the spirit!Buzzard glanced between the two and grinned.
I’m liking that idea Condor.Scout out all the dumbasses in the area. Very good, very good indeed.
Bet I’ll find some suckers first.Their competitive bug always jumped out right on time.
RE: i’m going to break something - Vulture - August 22, 2020
"How kind, so rare, so dignified!" She would've swooned if they weren't siblings, "only real taste among us," Vulture nodded to Condor. Buzzard could keep all the gross-ass frogs for all she cared, after all, the real taste was in the meaty men and woman. How she would drool over their muscles, she didn't want no skinny wolf!
"Ugh, finally, alone time, cya suckers." She was all for the idea, and already started moving away.
"Ugh, finally, alone time, cya suckers." She was all for the idea, and already started moving away.
RE: i’m going to break something - Condor - August 23, 2020
condor nodded sadly back to his sister. there was no thrill in poking fun someone who just didn't react to it at all. or WORSE, reacted to it positively. and how could you poke fun at buzzard? everything about them was tailor-made to poke fun of and yet it all rolled off their back like water, because they liked all of it. it was enough to make a coywolf with dignity and a perfect coat despair.
"i'm sure you will." what was the point in being competitive when simply relaxing would get you the same results without having to move a finger? he would give the place a cursory search, and nothing more. no point in expending extra effort.
"vulture, darling, before you wander off." towards the mountains, apparently. ugh. she could have them. that was far too much climbing. "would you care to settle on a time to meet back here, or..." who was he kidding. nobody here had planned a single thing even once in their lives.
"i'm sure you will." what was the point in being competitive when simply relaxing would get you the same results without having to move a finger? he would give the place a cursory search, and nothing more. no point in expending extra effort.
"vulture, darling, before you wander off." towards the mountains, apparently. ugh. she could have them. that was far too much climbing. "would you care to settle on a time to meet back here, or..." who was he kidding. nobody here had planned a single thing even once in their lives.
RE: i’m going to break something - Buzzard - September 01, 2020
So no competition? Really? Vulture and Condor had absolutely no interest in turning this into a game whatsoever. Well that’s too damn bad! It’s a game in Buzzard’s mind, and they were dead set on winning.
They would begin to leave right after Vulture, but not quick enough to miss Condor’s suggestion.
Planning’s for losers!they called behind them.
See ya later!