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+--- Thread: Nova Peak Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. (/showthread.php?tid=44066)
Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. - Nyx - September 30, 2020
When at last she detected @Mahler's scent on the foothills of their claim, Nyx felt dread creep into her belly. Teeth gritted, she carried on along his fresh trail with a lengthy stride. The lioness, made anxious despite her attempt to prepare what she might say, was keen to air her thoughts sooner rather than later.
Evening came quietly as she padded through the foliage. No birdsong sounded from the branches above to distract her. Instead, there was only stillness. Nyx hoped this would not prove to be the calm before a storm.
RE: Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. - Mahler - September 30, 2020
sagtannet seemed to have settled after their tumultuous formation. the claim upon the seacliffs appeared to have held — for now. the insistence that the place remain impartial land had been something for which both eisen had paid in blood.
he could see his breath these days, mahler realized. his patrol of the foothills was coming to an end; thus as he rounded a clutch of taiga spruce he was pleased to see nyx, the dying embers of the sun illuminating her gilded beauty. "i vas coming to see you next," mahler revealed, brushing her shoulder with an affectionate air as he drew closer.
he could see his breath these days, mahler realized. his patrol of the foothills was coming to an end; thus as he rounded a clutch of taiga spruce he was pleased to see nyx, the dying embers of the sun illuminating her gilded beauty. "i vas coming to see you next," mahler revealed, brushing her shoulder with an affectionate air as he drew closer.
RE: Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. - Nyx - September 30, 2020
When at last her vibrant eyes caught sight of him, she paused to observe his rugged form as he veered her way. Nyx let her gaze meet briefly with frosted lilac and felt something constrict around her throat, her chest, her heart, and did her best to keep from faltering. She glanced away, afraid that he would see right through to her soul and find the darkness harboured there.
"You're looking stronger," the lioness commented as her the gargoyle reached for her, which was most unexpected. After the awkwardness that'd transpired after she dared share something of her feeling for Mahler, Nyx had been unsure if their friendship could ever return to what it once was. He'd promised nothing would change, just as she'd hoped to long for, but so much already had that she wasn't sure what she could trust.
For as long as she remained in Sagtannet, Nyx feared it would continue do so - and never in her favour.
RE: Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. - Mahler - September 30, 2020
there was something in nyx, something unnameable but present. mahler could not put a word to it; he wondered if it was only his projection, and sighed contentedly as he glanced toward the peak of their claimed mountain.
"each day. mercy for a foolish old man," the gargoyle jested, though in the next moment his lavender stare rested on nyx and her limned profile. "is there something in your mind?"
"each day. mercy for a foolish old man," the gargoyle jested, though in the next moment his lavender stare rested on nyx and her limned profile. "is there something in your mind?"
RE: Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. - Nyx - September 30, 2020
A smile bloomed on the lioness' maw at Mahler's response, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. Of course she was glad to see him thrive after the altercation on the cliffs, content to see the light return his eyes. As Nyx looked up into his dark face once more, she knew right at the heart of her that she would've given the best of herself to aid him in his recovery.
Until she realised that what she could offer would never be what he required - or wanted.
The Eisen questioned what might be on her mind and, pursing her lips as she considered the most sensitive way to declare her thoughts, the tawny Ostrega let her ears fall back. "I..."
I wish you'd let me love you.
Nyx had wanted so much to avoid this. She wished she could go back, find some stranger to sire her children so she could have them all to herself and keep herself from falling for someone who was unwilling to fall with her. "I know Wylla hates me, Mahler," she confessed, then carried on swiftly, "and I could handle that. But Ciri and Elke?" Nyx stalled, exhaled heavily, feeling bitterness rise in her gullet for how she feared her daughters would be treated.
"They don't understand, and... I'm worried."
RE: Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. - Mahler - September 30, 2020
he had been correct in the glissade of awareness, then. the wilting of her ears, the way nyx held wylla's name hushed on her tongue as if it were a lump of iron.
an answering swell in his throat, one that tapped at the fact he knew this and had always known it. mahler was unsure if it was hatred that provoked the little she-wolf, but it was a permafrost that affected even her mention of elke and ciri.
it had been unfair of him to allow it on. but worried? "has she said something?" he asked quietly, slowly, considering what he might do if it came to pass that wylla had given a threat.
an answering swell in his throat, one that tapped at the fact he knew this and had always known it. mahler was unsure if it was hatred that provoked the little she-wolf, but it was a permafrost that affected even her mention of elke and ciri.
it had been unfair of him to allow it on. but worried? "has she said something?" he asked quietly, slowly, considering what he might do if it came to pass that wylla had given a threat.
RE: Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. - Nyx - September 30, 2020
"No," she said immediately in response to Mahler's question, knowing that she would need to tread carefully, "that's... sort of the problem."
Nyx thought back to how withdrawn her daughter had become, how she'd shrugged it off as adjustment to a new location and new faces. They'd never seen another wolf beyond their parents, not until leadership had called the pack together to announce their intention to relocate. Not ideal on her part, she could accept, but not entirely her fault - it wasn't her responsibility to insist that anyone play a role in her daughters' lives. She'd been content to accept that she was all Ciri and Elke would need when they were little, but now that they were ready to face the world and find their place among it, she wasn't so sure.
Wylla had never been a strong topic of discussion for Nyx and Mahler, so the former did not feel very confident. She would never slaughter the coastal wolfess with words to him as she suspected Wylla might of her, but the frustration Nyx felt was clear: "Ciri told me that when she went looking for you, after you were injured, Wylla was guarding your cave. She-"
Emotion welled in her throat, and the lioness stalled. It was hard for her, knowing her baby had been so affected by the rejection of those who were supposed to be her pack, who were supposed to look out for her. The incident with Phaedra she could disregard as kids being dicks to one another, and that with Wylla seemed so juvenile to speak of now that it'd been aired to Mahler, so she shook her head. "She's still young, but so aware of what's going on now. She said she feels like nobody sees her and... I can't allow this. I won't have Sagtannet pretend that our daughters don't matter."
RE: Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. - Mahler - September 30, 2020
mahler felt the sting in his breast as nyx brought forth what she had meant. an expression he had not before seen on her features spurned him; the gargoyle listened with a growing solemnity.
wylla would never accept elke and ciri as sisters to phaedra. his snowbloom herself was beyond encouraging familial bonds, but it was not her esteem that had suffered. that of nyx and his daughters had paled, faded.
mahler drew in a silent breath. "i vill speak to her," even as he knew the she-wolf would not be moved upon this matter. even as he felt the enormity of ciri fading from the edges of the packland.
he saw her. he saw them both, and nyx as well — but it was not enough, and he knew by now that he could not force it to be so. a swallow. "they have alvays mattered."
wylla would never accept elke and ciri as sisters to phaedra. his snowbloom herself was beyond encouraging familial bonds, but it was not her esteem that had suffered. that of nyx and his daughters had paled, faded.
mahler drew in a silent breath. "i vill speak to her," even as he knew the she-wolf would not be moved upon this matter. even as he felt the enormity of ciri fading from the edges of the packland.
he saw her. he saw them both, and nyx as well — but it was not enough, and he knew by now that he could not force it to be so. a swallow. "they have alvays mattered."
RE: Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. - Nyx - October 01, 2020
The pain she felt for her beloved Ciri was immeasurable. For too long had her baby harboured such uncertainty, such confusion. Nyx hated herself for letting that manifest but now, as she stood before her daughters' father, she knew she there was an opportunity to make it right.
To heal her blackbird, however, would be sure to break Mahler's heart.
Nyx' yellow eyes clouded and she blinked, desperate to rid them of any sign of welling tears. "Oh, Mahler," she looked at him then, brow furrowed, "we both know that won't solve this." If anything, drawing attention to the coastal she-wolf's cruelty would do nothing but create further problems. She cared too much for Mahler to see him suffer as well.
"They matter to you and I," she carried on, a tightness in her throat to admit, "and I wish that was enough, but it's not. Not anymore." She could squirrel them away no longer. They were growing so fast, and deserved better than to reside in Sagtannet's shadow.
RE: Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. - Mahler - October 01, 2020
very little escaped him, as a clutching dread skipped dully to the base of his spine. more here, more to hear, and yet he felt himself beginning to fall away a bit. nyx dissolved any consideration of what he meant to attempt, and mahler cleared his throat at the sight of her moistening gaze.
a clench along his jawline; the gargyole turned his own heavy crown aside and gazed stonily off into the distance. he could not bring himself to agree with her; the gorge of his stiffnecked pride threatening resentment. mahler staved it off, however; it was an unfair feeling, and would do little to appease the choice that nyx appeared already to have made.
"vhat have you decided?" a brief glint of something iron in the word, something mahler could not quite bite back as he quietly looked upon her golden face again.
a clench along his jawline; the gargyole turned his own heavy crown aside and gazed stonily off into the distance. he could not bring himself to agree with her; the gorge of his stiffnecked pride threatening resentment. mahler staved it off, however; it was an unfair feeling, and would do little to appease the choice that nyx appeared already to have made.
"vhat have you decided?" a brief glint of something iron in the word, something mahler could not quite bite back as he quietly looked upon her golden face again.
RE: Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. - Nyx - October 01, 2020
Mahler was not impressed with her comment regarding Wylla's stubborn nature, it seemed, and she didn't much care for that. For all her faults as a younger wolf in Grimnismal, the weight of her untold crimes, Nyx had long been certain that the she was deserving of others' scorn toward her. Her children, however, were not. She would not stand idly by while they suffered purely because they'd come from her womb.
The gargoyle asked what it was that she'd decided, and although the answer hung on the tip of her tongue, she was tentative in sharing it. To do so would make it feel so real, so final.
"I will go with them to Moonspear," she answered after a long pause, lifted her raven-tipped crown to seek Mahler's stony features with a watery yellow glance, "and should they choose to return to Sagtannet, I... I think it would be best for all of us that I do not."
RE: Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. - Mahler - October 01, 2020
there it was, the breadth of it. mahler felt the barb of ice work itself into his breast; he drew a sigh, ending in a grunt as his own gaze gathered droplets of sorrow. a goodly part of the man wished to beg her to stay, for what surely this was what she wished to hear?
but he could offer her no more within sagtannet than he had already given, and without elke and ciri — how could he ask her to remain in a place that plagued, that brought tears? and how could he not wish openly that she remain, for fear of making nyx feel unwanted?
an indecorous, rocky place. mahler did not remove his lilac gaze from her own. for a long moment his jaw firmed as if to disallow nyx to take with her his beloved daughters. but ciri grieved, and elke — elke loved her mother dearly. the gargoyle then would make no last enmity between them, no sundering of a bridge cracked in grief. "i vill take you there," haunted, haunted, resigned, and consumed with a spiraling emptiness.
but he could offer her no more within sagtannet than he had already given, and without elke and ciri — how could he ask her to remain in a place that plagued, that brought tears? and how could he not wish openly that she remain, for fear of making nyx feel unwanted?
an indecorous, rocky place. mahler did not remove his lilac gaze from her own. for a long moment his jaw firmed as if to disallow nyx to take with her his beloved daughters. but ciri grieved, and elke — elke loved her mother dearly. the gargoyle then would make no last enmity between them, no sundering of a bridge cracked in grief. "i vill take you there," haunted, haunted, resigned, and consumed with a spiraling emptiness.
RE: Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. - Nyx - October 02, 2020
Truthfully, she'd hoped he would ask her to reconsider. She'd hoped her friendship, her status as mother to their cubs, would fuel such a request. Alas, her suspicion seemed confirmed in the moment those words fell from Mahler's maw: she and hers could hold no value among Sagtannet.
She would never matter to its wolves, nor to him, not in the way he did to her.
Nyx swore she felt the splintering of her heart right then, and she found that she could no longer find the will to look upon Mahler's face. For so long her loyalty and lain with him, only him, without making any demand of his in return. She could've loved him wholly and completely without title, could've lived contently despite the presence of other she-wolves who vyed for his affection, yet she felt that Wylla's assumed bitterness had poisoned every opportunity for the easy life she so longed for.
Breath fled from between her teeth, wavered, as the pain of it all continued to mount. The sooner this transition began, the safer her children would be. Nyx was furious with herself for feeling so anxious about this exchange only to receive so little emotion in return, and she decided that she would offer no apology for her decision. She would never deny his access to their girls, but it would soon be up to him to seek it. Let him cross the entire valley to spend time with his babies. Let him face Winter's bite to look upon their faces. Let him prove that he loved them like he claimed to and if he could not, let Ciri and Elke learn that they will be of greater value to their Moonspear family than to anyone in Sagtannet.
"We will leave in a few days."
RE: Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. - Mahler - October 04, 2020
i hate & love them <3
he felt himself nod numbly; his tongue seemed to fracture inside his closed mouth. too late now to beg, too late now for his willingness to put down his pride. nyx knew the whole of it, and mahler would be found wanting in every regard.
with the finality of it stabbing at him, the gargoyle's heavy-laden stare perused the golden lioness for a long moment, as if dedicating the contours of nyx forever in this moment to memory. and then he had nodded again, turning away from her with a tread that left a weighted trail behind him. no reason to stay with her now, not out of lack of want but for fear his tears would rise and then the anger that nyx should take from him the children he had helped to rear for these long months.
pride turned mahler away; grief tore at him and if she had nothing more to say, the man would seclude himself in the far reaches of nova peak for the days to come, seeking out elke and ciri where he might to treasure the last moments left to him.
with the finality of it stabbing at him, the gargoyle's heavy-laden stare perused the golden lioness for a long moment, as if dedicating the contours of nyx forever in this moment to memory. and then he had nodded again, turning away from her with a tread that left a weighted trail behind him. no reason to stay with her now, not out of lack of want but for fear his tears would rise and then the anger that nyx should take from him the children he had helped to rear for these long months.
pride turned mahler away; grief tore at him and if she had nothing more to say, the man would seclude himself in the far reaches of nova peak for the days to come, seeking out elke and ciri where he might to treasure the last moments left to him.
RE: Trust your heart if the seas catch fire. - Nyx - October 26, 2020
She felt his stare linger, resisted the instinctual desire to squirm uncomfortably beneath the weight of it, and bit back the acrid taste of her shame. Nyx' emotions transitioned from one to another, a flurry of guilt and anger and sorrow and emptiness until each swirled together until she couldn't recognise which prevailed. In attempt to protect her already fragile state if mind, the lioness turned to the only defence that'd ever served her well: indifference.
Mahler's feelings didn't matter. Her feelings didn't matter. She had made so many mistakes and bad decisions in her lifetime that for once, no matter the consequence of fracturing hearts, the uprootal of her cubs and their relocation to Moonspear, she felt, was the one right thing she could do for everyone.
The gargoyle turned from her, and only as he shifted to pad away in the opposite direction did the gilded Ostrega lift her hollow gaze to look upon his retreating form. Her own darkness tightened its grip on her throat, dug its claws in to remind her of how truly undeserving of another's affection she was. A wolfess forever doomed, and despite her best effort to find some small semblance of joy in her life, she was reminded once more that fate did not intend for her to ever be truly happy. She remained in her place until Mahler disappeared from view, and only then did Nyx veer aside to trail deeper into the forest to be alone.