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+--- Thread: Stone Circle Feeling Hotter Than a Glue Gun (/showthread.php?tid=44097)
Feeling Hotter Than a Glue Gun - West Tyree - October 02, 2020
@Polaris backdated to around Sep 17-19th
Guilt. One of several emotions to overcome the woodland boy as days passed. How had it all started? One simple mistake. West thought he was doing what he needed to protect his family, but it was soon proved that he had gone too far. Never had he intended to kill the white witch, only to send a message. To keep her from trailing back once more with the intention of harm towards his pack. Instead, he had thrown those he sought to protect into tensions higher than ever with their neighbors.
To add to his woes, days later his siblings had dragged a corpse to their circle, one disfigured, burnt, and half-consumed... he had been identified as Clay despite his lack of face. Something about the sight had snapped something closed within him as West began distancing himself from his family. Brief memories consumed him; of his childhood, of Leta's unresponsiveness, of checking the borders daily in hopes that his brothers would return ok. Then the day came that Clay finally did return and he hadn't even recognized him. He should have held onto him, he shouldn't have let him slip away again. When Clay left again he was old enough to follow, yet he had only shaken his head at the realization that he left them once more.
They never got along...but he was still his brother. He was supposed to protect him and he failed. Maybe this was his punishment for Rosina, though Ursus still sought blood. More than once now he had debated how to right his wrongs, all while sparing his life. Now was not the first time he had considered leaving. What good was he here if all he did was bring harm instead of preventing it? Deep down, he didn't want to leave his family, but maybe it would turn Ursus' attention away from the hollow.
Green eyes stared into the pool of his reflection. West wasn't sure where his paws were leading him until he had crossed into the forest, following the breeze and autumn leaves until the glint of water caught his eyes. There's not a time in his life that he remembered crying, not when he was a kid, not now, yet when he gazed down he could see the wet trails that remained betraying his heart. With an empty blink, the boy raised his foreleg to wipe at the passed tears in a feeble attempt to be rid of the evidence.
To add to his woes, days later his siblings had dragged a corpse to their circle, one disfigured, burnt, and half-consumed... he had been identified as Clay despite his lack of face. Something about the sight had snapped something closed within him as West began distancing himself from his family. Brief memories consumed him; of his childhood, of Leta's unresponsiveness, of checking the borders daily in hopes that his brothers would return ok. Then the day came that Clay finally did return and he hadn't even recognized him. He should have held onto him, he shouldn't have let him slip away again. When Clay left again he was old enough to follow, yet he had only shaken his head at the realization that he left them once more.
They never got along...but he was still his brother. He was supposed to protect him and he failed. Maybe this was his punishment for Rosina, though Ursus still sought blood. More than once now he had debated how to right his wrongs, all while sparing his life. Now was not the first time he had considered leaving. What good was he here if all he did was bring harm instead of preventing it? Deep down, he didn't want to leave his family, but maybe it would turn Ursus' attention away from the hollow.
Green eyes stared into the pool of his reflection. West wasn't sure where his paws were leading him until he had crossed into the forest, following the breeze and autumn leaves until the glint of water caught his eyes. There's not a time in his life that he remembered crying, not when he was a kid, not now, yet when he gazed down he could see the wet trails that remained betraying his heart. With an empty blink, the boy raised his foreleg to wipe at the passed tears in a feeble attempt to be rid of the evidence.
RE: Feeling Hotter Than a Glue Gun - RIP Polaris - October 04, 2020
it felt as if she were desperately trying to hold an organism of liquid entity upright, such fruitless need to stop it from leaking ceaselessly between sodden paws.
she couldn't do it, things were falling apart in chunks of disastrous rubble around her and she...she didn't know how to stop it.
she was beginning to wonder if it were even possible, or if the only answer left on the table was to accept defeat.
west had killed the pallid witch and she didn't know how to approach him or such a topic, not when she...not when she had fallen victim to such an inferno of desire to rip the throat from that raven with her amethyst stare and watch that destructive light wink out and leave her as glassy eyed as the dejected corpse that had brought them to their doorstep. not when the horror of what she possibly could have accomplished had she been more physically capable did not completely extinguish the guttering want to see the nefarious umbra and her hellhound wiped from the world.
also, clay was dead.
she didn't know what to say to west about that either.
not when she had been plunged into a frosty dwam, so unorthodox in which it was numbing compared to the fiery agony that had accompanied all former losses. she had watched from the outskirts when his malformed vessel had been brought home; shattering on her lonesome for she was not family in the way that mattered in such circumstances.
and it had killed her to know that clay, in his bitterly short life, had felt the same way around these wonderful wolves that had truly cared for him so much. she wondered had he ever managed to admit the thoughts that had plagued him so, the harrowing guilt he'd had to carry simply for believing the way in which his heart chose to love was grotesque and incorrect.
had he ever told the mysterious boy about his feelings? had he found happiness before having to depart, had he found love? she would like to imagine so but as her heavy soul trudged on it found itself unable to draw up such chipper imaginations.
yet she could not lament and wallow about not doing more for clay when he was here, for not trying to rediscover the bubbly child she'd crashed into during days of blissful naivety, not when she didn't know how to help her friend in what had to be his greatest time of need.
to think she could throw herself at the enemy and string such spiels of honour and bravery and then when someone truly needed her she crumpled...like a selfish coward.
jaw grits as she stalks, eyes so painfully dry. she wanted to cry, she wanted to scream and yet her chest...why was it all just so fucking hollow?!
a resigned sigh, shoulders slumping, unable to summon enough emotion to even feel anger at her lack of reaction. what a sardonic cirlce huh.
and it is then that she spots him, weary look pinpointing his figure with ease. she's not sure why, but the first thought to approach was to remark how much he'd changed even in the time she'd known him. he was large but, it was no longer so apparent that he was big; it...suited him better now for lack of a better description. he'd grown into himself, strong and defined. and....he was crying.
it brought forth an unbidden memory, the shock upon spotting her papa cry when believing he was alone when zephyr and helios went missing. the slow realization that adults were not these indestructible forces, that they were simply craftier in terms of hiding their misgivings. she'd approached him so boldly then, unhesitant in her decision to accept such a thing and do what she could to reassure and help.
what had happened to that trait? why was it that she felt such anxious dread, paws rooted to the spot despite her heart begging to steal forth. she needed to go to him, she wanted to but--
but--
but what?
toes pressed hard against the soggy ground, jaw clenching.
she could do this, she would. because this is what mattered, this was so much more important than flinging yourself into reckless danger.
she stepped closer, and again and again until she was walking towards him; jaws parting to simply murmur "west...tyree" as her heart suddenly clenched, a blooming ache in the palm of such prominent ice, chasing it back with a sizzling hiss as she stopped a few lengths away, wide stare devoted wholly to him.
she couldn't do it, things were falling apart in chunks of disastrous rubble around her and she...she didn't know how to stop it.
she was beginning to wonder if it were even possible, or if the only answer left on the table was to accept defeat.
west had killed the pallid witch and she didn't know how to approach him or such a topic, not when she...not when she had fallen victim to such an inferno of desire to rip the throat from that raven with her amethyst stare and watch that destructive light wink out and leave her as glassy eyed as the dejected corpse that had brought them to their doorstep. not when the horror of what she possibly could have accomplished had she been more physically capable did not completely extinguish the guttering want to see the nefarious umbra and her hellhound wiped from the world.
also, clay was dead.
she didn't know what to say to west about that either.
not when she had been plunged into a frosty dwam, so unorthodox in which it was numbing compared to the fiery agony that had accompanied all former losses. she had watched from the outskirts when his malformed vessel had been brought home; shattering on her lonesome for she was not family in the way that mattered in such circumstances.
and it had killed her to know that clay, in his bitterly short life, had felt the same way around these wonderful wolves that had truly cared for him so much. she wondered had he ever managed to admit the thoughts that had plagued him so, the harrowing guilt he'd had to carry simply for believing the way in which his heart chose to love was grotesque and incorrect.
had he ever told the mysterious boy about his feelings? had he found happiness before having to depart, had he found love? she would like to imagine so but as her heavy soul trudged on it found itself unable to draw up such chipper imaginations.
yet she could not lament and wallow about not doing more for clay when he was here, for not trying to rediscover the bubbly child she'd crashed into during days of blissful naivety, not when she didn't know how to help her friend in what had to be his greatest time of need.
to think she could throw herself at the enemy and string such spiels of honour and bravery and then when someone truly needed her she crumpled...like a selfish coward.
jaw grits as she stalks, eyes so painfully dry. she wanted to cry, she wanted to scream and yet her chest...why was it all just so fucking hollow?!
a resigned sigh, shoulders slumping, unable to summon enough emotion to even feel anger at her lack of reaction. what a sardonic cirlce huh.
and it is then that she spots him, weary look pinpointing his figure with ease. she's not sure why, but the first thought to approach was to remark how much he'd changed even in the time she'd known him. he was large but, it was no longer so apparent that he was big; it...suited him better now for lack of a better description. he'd grown into himself, strong and defined. and....he was crying.
it brought forth an unbidden memory, the shock upon spotting her papa cry when believing he was alone when zephyr and helios went missing. the slow realization that adults were not these indestructible forces, that they were simply craftier in terms of hiding their misgivings. she'd approached him so boldly then, unhesitant in her decision to accept such a thing and do what she could to reassure and help.
what had happened to that trait? why was it that she felt such anxious dread, paws rooted to the spot despite her heart begging to steal forth. she needed to go to him, she wanted to but--
but--
but what?
toes pressed hard against the soggy ground, jaw clenching.
she could do this, she would. because this is what mattered, this was so much more important than flinging yourself into reckless danger.
she stepped closer, and again and again until she was walking towards him; jaws parting to simply murmur "west...tyree" as her heart suddenly clenched, a blooming ache in the palm of such prominent ice, chasing it back with a sizzling hiss as she stopped a few lengths away, wide stare devoted wholly to him.
RE: Feeling Hotter Than a Glue Gun - West Tyree - October 05, 2020
One ear flicked at the sound of another's approach. A quick glance was given as his eyes locked on the dove before West quickly turned his head away to ensure he had wiped away all that remained. It wasn't exactly that he was ashamed of crying it just...looked wrong. Right now the last thing he wanted was for Polaris to see him like this. The woodland boy took a deep breath letting it slide out again before turning back to his friend.
Though a part of him wished he hadn't...
That stare. He couldn't read that stare. Was it pitty? Surprise? Maybe it was fear, though her tone suggested the former and thank the Gods for that. He wasn't sure what he would do if she feared him and pitty...well he could deal with that, even if it burned.
It was his own suggestion, one that he had been bracing himself for up until now, but now that the time had finally come the fear of what she might say finally gripped him.
Finally, with another deep breath, emerald eyes would raise to meet her pale mismatched ones.
As West allowed himself to trail off, he'd keep his gaze locked. There was only silence as he waited for a response and while the wait was likely short, each second dragged on in unnerving eternity. He only hoped that she would take the news well but...well, Polaris had a habit of being explosive in everything she did. It as something that he admired, though right now the last thing he wanted was for this to blow up in his face.
Though a part of him wished he hadn't...
That stare. He couldn't read that stare. Was it pitty? Surprise? Maybe it was fear, though her tone suggested the former and thank the Gods for that. He wasn't sure what he would do if she feared him and pitty...well he could deal with that, even if it burned.
Hey—Any other words fell from his maw as West suddenly found himself just...staring. The silence stretched for a moment longer before he would clear his throat allowing his eyes to divert to the river.
We should talk...
It was his own suggestion, one that he had been bracing himself for up until now, but now that the time had finally come the fear of what she might say finally gripped him.
I ah... I don't think... I should be here anymore.Each word was squeezed out as he was unable to meet her stare. He knew that he'd only get lost in her gaze and right now he needed to be sure of himself, sure that this was in fact the right move.
I've always tried to protect Easthollow, protect my family, but I think I'm making all the wrong moves. I haven't protected anyone and I—I'm not as strong as I thought. Not as brave as Leta believes.
I need to make things right.
Finally, with another deep breath, emerald eyes would raise to meet her pale mismatched ones.
Ursus won't stop, we both know that and now they want my head. If I leave, maybe they'll leave Easthollow alone.A frown tugged at his lips now that most of his thoughts had been voiced. Sure he had been toying with the idea for a while, but saying it out loud made it...all too real.
My parents... I want you to look out for them for me. I'm pretty sure they like you anyway so... maybe they can be your family too since...yeah...He hadn't really meant to bring up the fact that like...half her family was dead, but he knew it was important to her. Easthollow was one big family anyway, it wasn't that outrageous of a thought for him at least.
As West allowed himself to trail off, he'd keep his gaze locked. There was only silence as he waited for a response and while the wait was likely short, each second dragged on in unnerving eternity. He only hoped that she would take the news well but...well, Polaris had a habit of being explosive in everything she did. It as something that he admired, though right now the last thing he wanted was for this to blow up in his face.
RE: Feeling Hotter Than a Glue Gun - RIP Polaris - November 14, 2020
eyes clutch frantically to his when he looks to her, as if fearing should she glance away for a mere moment he might slip into a murkiness that she wouldn't have the ability to free him from. she should say something-- but what? what syllables could twirl together to make something that could make any of this even vaguely okay? his brother was dead, he'd killed another wolf which had summoned hell to their doorstep...her chest twisted painfully. west...the greeting wades itself towards her, as if the medium it must travel from mouth to ear was thick and enervating. dry lips parted to echo a soft "hey", she could imagine it slipping from her tongue, a uselessly mere droplet of water meant to aid someone dying of thirst. more a tease than anything as ears fluttered back in slight chagrin.
the silence is so thickly charged to a point that her heart picked up pace in its ivory cage, as if believing it were preparing her with the strength and energy to leap into battle. frankly, she would have preferred if that were the situation. right now? it felt as if she were voluntarily standing among a flock of vultures as they picked and tore relentlessly at her still living figure. then he speaks and the vultures are suddenly a raging bull, smashing her apart with its staggering force; 'we should talk'
trepidation wraps around her, squeezing the breath out of her as she can just about manage a swallow. unable to look away even as his gaze flits to the frustratingly chipper gurgle of the river. fuck this could not be good.
she wants to say something, maybe even a dry laugh and a poorly knitted joke to lighten some of this unbearable weight. but polaris doesn't so much as flex a muscle in that jaw, she finds she can only wait in twisting perturbation. sure enough, he might as well have aimed a rifle at her chest and pulled the trigger with what he said yet, ears now flicking up as something flashed in that jaded stare. and suddenly it is as if with that blow he's also smashed down the dam gates keeping her so on edge, misgivings abandoned in a flash as panicked energy surged though her with an intensity that made her jaw clench and muscles stand to attention. it is now, a great effort to stop from screaming at him in a want to stop the words he spewed- reach into his mind and snatch that festering idea before it could spread further.
he looks back to her and she flinches, the resigned certainty in those verdant eyes-- how is he so calm about this?? how can he act like this is alright, that this is some noble sacrifice he simply must make for the greater good. bullshit!!
ears swivelled a little, frown tugging at charcoal lips at that not so finely worded conclusion, eyes narrowing a fraction. although really anger was not what she should wield right now, was it not a ridiculous response to a decision that obviously stemmed from great pain?? yet she could not tuck it away, not when fear and panic writhed securely beneath its cloak.
"no-" a gasped exclamation, emotion packing its basic response into that simple word as she glared sharply at him. poor west, he was certainly right about polaris' explosive tendencies and it seemed he was no more likely to avoid it now than any other time as teeth ground together against her inability to restrain her eruptive emotions. "you really think running is the right decision?" low blow, desparation really had a way of lashing a sharp tongue "you did protect easthollow, you fought those bastards what more could you have done? they used you for their reason to come here but...god did you not see their eyes west?? they loved it, and now that they've gotten a taste they won't need you as a reason to come here anymore. they thrive on destruction, they wanted you to feel this way...they wanted to make us uncertain of you-- this is playing right into their paws!! it won't be the last we've seen of them and...." she glanced hard at her paws, teeth baring at the ground as she panted and...fuck were those tears burning at the backs of her eyes? blinking rapidly, her voice dropped an octave as she hissed bitterly "i was pretty much useless against them, i know nothing about fighting hell i barely even hunt, i'd never felt so....so fucking weak before. leaving now....that is the only wrong move here west tyree."
she forces herself to meet his gaze once more, struggling against the bitter shame of her own self-deprecating acknowledgement. that despite her tendency to spiel these tales of bringing down evil, she was bloody useless when it came down to action. "and you can't do that to your parents" she thought of papa, how distraught he'd been when zephyr and helios had gone missing- how it had been the first notch of a downward spiral "i'm not their family i--, don't do what clay did-" no, that wasn't right, she didn't mean-- "i- fuck i don't mean it like that, i just i don't think he realised how much you all loved him and, what if you don't come back??" and suddenly here it came, having not been able to cry once since clay died and wishing so badly for its release-- it really had to come at the worst possible time?? each tear shone in the afternoon light as they settled into the damp fur of her pale cheeks, looking hard at the scintillate of the river; shoulders sagging as she whispered "i-i can't lose you west tyree, not to whatever guilt you might be feeling or to anyone else and i don't care if that's selfish"
and something about that sentence and the emotional baggage clinging close to each word made her breathlessly nervous.
the silence is so thickly charged to a point that her heart picked up pace in its ivory cage, as if believing it were preparing her with the strength and energy to leap into battle. frankly, she would have preferred if that were the situation. right now? it felt as if she were voluntarily standing among a flock of vultures as they picked and tore relentlessly at her still living figure. then he speaks and the vultures are suddenly a raging bull, smashing her apart with its staggering force; 'we should talk'
trepidation wraps around her, squeezing the breath out of her as she can just about manage a swallow. unable to look away even as his gaze flits to the frustratingly chipper gurgle of the river. fuck this could not be good.
she wants to say something, maybe even a dry laugh and a poorly knitted joke to lighten some of this unbearable weight. but polaris doesn't so much as flex a muscle in that jaw, she finds she can only wait in twisting perturbation. sure enough, he might as well have aimed a rifle at her chest and pulled the trigger with what he said yet, ears now flicking up as something flashed in that jaded stare. and suddenly it is as if with that blow he's also smashed down the dam gates keeping her so on edge, misgivings abandoned in a flash as panicked energy surged though her with an intensity that made her jaw clench and muscles stand to attention. it is now, a great effort to stop from screaming at him in a want to stop the words he spewed- reach into his mind and snatch that festering idea before it could spread further.
he looks back to her and she flinches, the resigned certainty in those verdant eyes-- how is he so calm about this?? how can he act like this is alright, that this is some noble sacrifice he simply must make for the greater good. bullshit!!
ears swivelled a little, frown tugging at charcoal lips at that not so finely worded conclusion, eyes narrowing a fraction. although really anger was not what she should wield right now, was it not a ridiculous response to a decision that obviously stemmed from great pain?? yet she could not tuck it away, not when fear and panic writhed securely beneath its cloak.
"no-" a gasped exclamation, emotion packing its basic response into that simple word as she glared sharply at him. poor west, he was certainly right about polaris' explosive tendencies and it seemed he was no more likely to avoid it now than any other time as teeth ground together against her inability to restrain her eruptive emotions. "you really think running is the right decision?" low blow, desparation really had a way of lashing a sharp tongue "you did protect easthollow, you fought those bastards what more could you have done? they used you for their reason to come here but...god did you not see their eyes west?? they loved it, and now that they've gotten a taste they won't need you as a reason to come here anymore. they thrive on destruction, they wanted you to feel this way...they wanted to make us uncertain of you-- this is playing right into their paws!! it won't be the last we've seen of them and...." she glanced hard at her paws, teeth baring at the ground as she panted and...fuck were those tears burning at the backs of her eyes? blinking rapidly, her voice dropped an octave as she hissed bitterly "i was pretty much useless against them, i know nothing about fighting hell i barely even hunt, i'd never felt so....so fucking weak before. leaving now....that is the only wrong move here west tyree."
she forces herself to meet his gaze once more, struggling against the bitter shame of her own self-deprecating acknowledgement. that despite her tendency to spiel these tales of bringing down evil, she was bloody useless when it came down to action. "and you can't do that to your parents" she thought of papa, how distraught he'd been when zephyr and helios had gone missing- how it had been the first notch of a downward spiral "i'm not their family i--, don't do what clay did-" no, that wasn't right, she didn't mean-- "i- fuck i don't mean it like that, i just i don't think he realised how much you all loved him and, what if you don't come back??" and suddenly here it came, having not been able to cry once since clay died and wishing so badly for its release-- it really had to come at the worst possible time?? each tear shone in the afternoon light as they settled into the damp fur of her pale cheeks, looking hard at the scintillate of the river; shoulders sagging as she whispered "i-i can't lose you west tyree, not to whatever guilt you might be feeling or to anyone else and i don't care if that's selfish"
and something about that sentence and the emotional baggage clinging close to each word made her breathlessly nervous.
RE: Feeling Hotter Than a Glue Gun - West Tyree - November 14, 2020
For the longest time as he spoke there was no reaction. No interruption, no tensing of her stance, or change in her gaze. She was as unreadable as the earth they walked and the reason so much pain could exist in what was once a simple world. The unease in his stomach boiled, threatening to consume him whole as he soon found his words faltering. And then he saw it— her ears tilted back, a frown taking place where a smile belonged.
"no-"
It was a simple response, but one with enough power to crumble his hopes. Out of habit, the woodland boy felt his own jaw lock, perhaps to avoid spilling forth anymore of his pathetic feelings. He knew better, he knew she wouldn't just sit back and agree happily, but he had still hoped, that maybe, just maybe she would at least do it for him.
"you really think running is the right decision?"
For the first time in his short life, standing still made the boy itch. In an instant, his own ears fell back against his skull as he found a strong urge to fidget, now uncomfortable under the stare of those pretty mismatched eyes. Of course, he didn't want to leave—! Didn't she understand that that was the whole reason he struggled to? Maybe he had fought off Ursus this time, but who's to say how successful he will be next time? If there would even be a next time?
There was a part of truth to her words. West could also see the crazed look in those eyes, the insanity that drove them for blood, but they had a reason now. They mostly kept away before, and then he— he...didn't mean to. He never liked the witch, he wanted her gone, but he had never intended to take her life, or...maybe he did? He could feel his stomach twist in pain as his muzzle twisted to match the disgust he felt within.
It was only when the dove's head bowed that he found himself able to breathe again. Polaris' voice dropped as she continued, explaining that she too felt weak. But even without the training, he knew she wasn't. He had seen her fire, she burned with a flame stronger than even his, or at least so he thought now. He wanted to say so, that she was probably the strongest wolf he knew, but failed to find the words. Not with those eyes boring back into his soul. Not when her words cut like a knife.
"you can't do that to your parents
don't do what clay did"
There was as visible wince despite her desperate attempt to take back what had already been said. She was crying and it made the lump he tried to swallow only grow inside his throat. He knew his parents loved him, he loved them too and he had loved all his siblings, even if they all left too. But he couldn't take another death with only himself to blame. Clay hated him. He never said it, but it was clear the way he avoided him, even as kids.
West was dumb, but even he knew that some of those play fights were not playing for one of them. There was always a malicious side to Clay, a side that hated him and he never knew why. He had driven his brother away, and as a result, he lost Newt too, wherever he may be now. Then Clay died. Leta didn't feel like she belonged here anymore, and while he had encouraged her to follow the life she wanted, it only made him wonder if it could have stemmed from him too. What kind of big brother was he if he only tore his family apart?
Couldn't Polaris see? It was his fault his family was falling apart. If he stayed then the few he had left, Mom, Dad...Polaris. It all started with him, but the others would never admit it. For a moment, they both wept, until the last words whispered by the dove finally sent him over.
"i can't lose you west tyree
i don't care if that's selfish"
"no-"
It was a simple response, but one with enough power to crumble his hopes. Out of habit, the woodland boy felt his own jaw lock, perhaps to avoid spilling forth anymore of his pathetic feelings. He knew better, he knew she wouldn't just sit back and agree happily, but he had still hoped, that maybe, just maybe she would at least do it for him.
"you really think running is the right decision?"
For the first time in his short life, standing still made the boy itch. In an instant, his own ears fell back against his skull as he found a strong urge to fidget, now uncomfortable under the stare of those pretty mismatched eyes. Of course, he didn't want to leave—! Didn't she understand that that was the whole reason he struggled to? Maybe he had fought off Ursus this time, but who's to say how successful he will be next time? If there would even be a next time?
There was a part of truth to her words. West could also see the crazed look in those eyes, the insanity that drove them for blood, but they had a reason now. They mostly kept away before, and then he— he...didn't mean to. He never liked the witch, he wanted her gone, but he had never intended to take her life, or...maybe he did? He could feel his stomach twist in pain as his muzzle twisted to match the disgust he felt within.
It was only when the dove's head bowed that he found himself able to breathe again. Polaris' voice dropped as she continued, explaining that she too felt weak. But even without the training, he knew she wasn't. He had seen her fire, she burned with a flame stronger than even his, or at least so he thought now. He wanted to say so, that she was probably the strongest wolf he knew, but failed to find the words. Not with those eyes boring back into his soul. Not when her words cut like a knife.
"you can't do that to your parents
don't do what clay did"
There was as visible wince despite her desperate attempt to take back what had already been said. She was crying and it made the lump he tried to swallow only grow inside his throat. He knew his parents loved him, he loved them too and he had loved all his siblings, even if they all left too. But he couldn't take another death with only himself to blame. Clay hated him. He never said it, but it was clear the way he avoided him, even as kids.
West was dumb, but even he knew that some of those play fights were not playing for one of them. There was always a malicious side to Clay, a side that hated him and he never knew why. He had driven his brother away, and as a result, he lost Newt too, wherever he may be now. Then Clay died. Leta didn't feel like she belonged here anymore, and while he had encouraged her to follow the life she wanted, it only made him wonder if it could have stemmed from him too. What kind of big brother was he if he only tore his family apart?
Couldn't Polaris see? It was his fault his family was falling apart. If he stayed then the few he had left, Mom, Dad...Polaris. It all started with him, but the others would never admit it. For a moment, they both wept, until the last words whispered by the dove finally sent him over.
"i can't lose you west tyree
i don't care if that's selfish"
DON'T YOU GET IT?The words had exploded from his chest before he even had the chance to realize what he was doing. He was wailing now and the embarrassment flooded through him as he hung his head in shame.
I-I can't lose — anyone else.Once more he tried to swallow that lump, the one that had now rooted itself to block his airway and left him sputtering,
I don't know what I'd— I—
I love you.
RE: Feeling Hotter Than a Glue Gun - RIP Polaris - November 14, 2020
her words had struck him, evident thanks to the telltale signs of fluttering ears and a twitching muzzle and yet...some deep, utterly shameful part of her was glad. as if this offered some sick assurance that he recognized the faults in what he said, how wrong he was with these plans to hurt easthollow, hurt her- unintentionally of course, but it was the only end result the trembling dove could see. and she couldn't take that- couldn't let the world steal yet another important person from her as she stood by helpless, no she'd do anything to stop it she'd--
guilt slapped her in the face however, at his wince. she shouldn't have brought clay into this, should have for once in her goddamn life learned to keep something to herself. restrain the impulsive swing of that sharpened tongue. she didn't want to hurt him, of course she didn't! she just, she- fuck she was just going in circles, she needed to calm down.
...she just couldn't bear the thought of being left alone again. that pain of losing those you cared about, as if someone had torn your organs free from their confines and yet you were still forced to walk around living and enduring that pain everyday rather than gain the peace accompanied by death. her paws pressed hard against the earth, she didn't have the strength to go through that again, having to survive it sounded worse than getting to die from it.
silence prowled in the aftermath of her outburst, humming its croons of carefully spun deceit and doubt as her gaze remained trained on the coruscating surface of that waggish water. the adrenaline bustling throughout her was getting dizzying in its intensity, limbs trembling at its sheer vehemence.
what did she even want him to say? the delicate threads spinning off from her spiel all seemed to end with responses as terrifying as each other.. she could swear that was bile she could taste at the back of her throat.
and then west, composed, gentle, west; exploded. it was somewhat ironic how much of a shock this came to polaris, who let her unwieldy emotions snatch the reins of her control panel and deal fits of eruptive outbursts to west interaction after interaction. but never had he returned such unruly fervour, never.
sacuer-like look skips to the pierce of that flustered stare, shock rendering her strangely innocent in those seconds of surprise. but then she caught ahold of herself and it passed, keen glare narrowing on him as she straightened before him with a lash of her tail. he couldn't lose anyone else??? her heart roared a frantic symphony, energy seeming potent enough to break her apart from within if she didn't do something to expel its anger, no, its terror. and just as pearly fangs were peaking out, lips curling as words raced to be the first to crash free from that gritted jaw- he launched a fucking bomb at her.
"i love you"
she staggered, physically staggered as if someone had shoved her. if anyone told you that time seemed to stand still, that you had a moment of complete clarity in a moment like this- they were fucking wrong. it slammed into the whirling mess of her mind like an asteroid, the jumble of emotion and adrenaline passing it around with terrifying speed--
'i love you' 'i love you' 'he loves you' 'he loves me??' 'love, love love??'
her eyes were wide with despair as they bore into him, and she screamed "YOU CAN'T JUST FUCKING DO THAT WEST-" ending as a pathetically hitched sob, unable to even let his entire name grace her tongue as her tail lashed its distress. "h-how COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?"
ears pinned, tears continuing their relentless flow. "YOU SAY I DON'T GET IT?? I'VE LOST EVERYONE, YOU'RE ALL I'VE GOT AND THEN YOU-- YOU TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME BUT YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE ME??" she dared a shaky step forward, blinking rapidly "how does that make fucking sense, i--" she trailed off, slumping down into a sit as eyes fell to her paws.
'how am i supposed to say i love you too, open my heart to that if you plan on abandoning me to this pain.'
'how could you be so cruel west.'
guilt slapped her in the face however, at his wince. she shouldn't have brought clay into this, should have for once in her goddamn life learned to keep something to herself. restrain the impulsive swing of that sharpened tongue. she didn't want to hurt him, of course she didn't! she just, she- fuck she was just going in circles, she needed to calm down.
...she just couldn't bear the thought of being left alone again. that pain of losing those you cared about, as if someone had torn your organs free from their confines and yet you were still forced to walk around living and enduring that pain everyday rather than gain the peace accompanied by death. her paws pressed hard against the earth, she didn't have the strength to go through that again, having to survive it sounded worse than getting to die from it.
silence prowled in the aftermath of her outburst, humming its croons of carefully spun deceit and doubt as her gaze remained trained on the coruscating surface of that waggish water. the adrenaline bustling throughout her was getting dizzying in its intensity, limbs trembling at its sheer vehemence.
what did she even want him to say? the delicate threads spinning off from her spiel all seemed to end with responses as terrifying as each other.. she could swear that was bile she could taste at the back of her throat.
and then west, composed, gentle, west; exploded. it was somewhat ironic how much of a shock this came to polaris, who let her unwieldy emotions snatch the reins of her control panel and deal fits of eruptive outbursts to west interaction after interaction. but never had he returned such unruly fervour, never.
sacuer-like look skips to the pierce of that flustered stare, shock rendering her strangely innocent in those seconds of surprise. but then she caught ahold of herself and it passed, keen glare narrowing on him as she straightened before him with a lash of her tail. he couldn't lose anyone else??? her heart roared a frantic symphony, energy seeming potent enough to break her apart from within if she didn't do something to expel its anger, no, its terror. and just as pearly fangs were peaking out, lips curling as words raced to be the first to crash free from that gritted jaw- he launched a fucking bomb at her.
"i love you"
she staggered, physically staggered as if someone had shoved her. if anyone told you that time seemed to stand still, that you had a moment of complete clarity in a moment like this- they were fucking wrong. it slammed into the whirling mess of her mind like an asteroid, the jumble of emotion and adrenaline passing it around with terrifying speed--
'i love you' 'i love you' 'he loves you' 'he loves me??' 'love, love love??'
her eyes were wide with despair as they bore into him, and she screamed "YOU CAN'T JUST FUCKING DO THAT WEST-" ending as a pathetically hitched sob, unable to even let his entire name grace her tongue as her tail lashed its distress. "h-how COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?"
ears pinned, tears continuing their relentless flow. "YOU SAY I DON'T GET IT?? I'VE LOST EVERYONE, YOU'RE ALL I'VE GOT AND THEN YOU-- YOU TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME BUT YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE ME??" she dared a shaky step forward, blinking rapidly "how does that make fucking sense, i--" she trailed off, slumping down into a sit as eyes fell to her paws.
'how am i supposed to say i love you too, open my heart to that if you plan on abandoning me to this pain.'
'how could you be so cruel west.'
RE: Feeling Hotter Than a Glue Gun - West Tyree - November 14, 2020
He wasn't sure what he expected now, what kind of response he would hear or what it was exactly he wanted. The woodland boy felt like he was being torn in two. How could he protect those he loved if he only did things wrong? How could he protect them if he left? Maybe Polaris was right, maybe he was being selfish, abandoning all he loved so he wouldn't have to see the pain anymore.
After all, wouldn't it be easier to say they lived happily ever after without him? To leave and travel somewhere far away and assume life in Easthollow returned to the sun and stars he knew as a boy where everyone was a family. They were together, happy, with the bison grazing in the distance and the watchful stones that told those who passed by, "here lies an unshakable foundation of a family that had survived the generations".
It was all just a happy dream away, but one that was forever out of reach. Not so long as Ursus stood. Not so long as Clay's bones laid beneath the dirt. Polaris had only grown more explosive since his own outburst, and with good reason. Her yelling drowned him until his legs buckled beneath his weight, as sobs racked his body with each shaky breath. He didn't know what to do. What was right, what was wrong? He always picked the wrong choice, he always hurt her.
How could he say he loved her? She deserved to be happy, to make a new family. Polaris was right, she did understand for she had lost more than him, yet he believed he had the right to act like a child. She had lost everything, her parents, her siblings (kinda), her pack, yet she had come with the grace and beauty of the world when she set foot in Easthollow, never once letting those scars take her. Yet here he was, crying into the dirt making a fool of himself after throwing his heart out on a line.
She would never love him, not like this. He was so stupid.
But of course, that was just another form of running. All he could do was dream of running. When had he become such a coward? All over, his body burned, pained by the shaking and cries while flushed with horrid embarrassment, yet he couldn't stop. The tears had long since blurred his vision and no matter how much he wiped they wouldn't stop.
After all, wouldn't it be easier to say they lived happily ever after without him? To leave and travel somewhere far away and assume life in Easthollow returned to the sun and stars he knew as a boy where everyone was a family. They were together, happy, with the bison grazing in the distance and the watchful stones that told those who passed by, "here lies an unshakable foundation of a family that had survived the generations".
It was all just a happy dream away, but one that was forever out of reach. Not so long as Ursus stood. Not so long as Clay's bones laid beneath the dirt. Polaris had only grown more explosive since his own outburst, and with good reason. Her yelling drowned him until his legs buckled beneath his weight, as sobs racked his body with each shaky breath. He didn't know what to do. What was right, what was wrong? He always picked the wrong choice, he always hurt her.
How could he say he loved her? She deserved to be happy, to make a new family. Polaris was right, she did understand for she had lost more than him, yet he believed he had the right to act like a child. She had lost everything, her parents, her siblings (kinda), her pack, yet she had come with the grace and beauty of the world when she set foot in Easthollow, never once letting those scars take her. Yet here he was, crying into the dirt making a fool of himself after throwing his heart out on a line.
She would never love him, not like this. He was so stupid.
I'm sorry—West's voice came in a whisper, just barely rising above the gurgle of the river. He couldn't bear to look at her, not now, maybe never again. For once, he wished he could disappear into the earth, taken by the trees that matched his pelt and live the simple life of nature. He could stand tall, his leaves kissing the light of the sun as his branches provided shelter to the smaller creatures.
But of course, that was just another form of running. All he could do was dream of running. When had he become such a coward? All over, his body burned, pained by the shaking and cries while flushed with horrid embarrassment, yet he couldn't stop. The tears had long since blurred his vision and no matter how much he wiped they wouldn't stop.
I—I'm so sorry—
RE: Feeling Hotter Than a Glue Gun - RIP Polaris - November 18, 2020
sides heave, frenetic thud of that manic heart sending chills coiling around her trembling figure in the aftermath of such a vehement outburst.
shit.
she can't bear to look at him, fear's cold hand stroking down her spine as she glared hard at the intertwining grass. so carefree in its frivolous tango, sorta pissed her off as she herself lingered upon a threshold of full blown panic; struggling to complete a task as simple as breathing.
what was he thinking?? oh lords what could he be thinking?? he loved her- HER! loved! and she-- she'd slapped him in the face with it.
he just-- eyes fluttered shut as a steadying inhale is attempted, fighting againt that familiar tightening sensation in her damn throat. she couldn't cry again, wouldn't. but he just, he couldn't leave her. she couldn't be alone again, not when she'd only just begun to make peace with the ghosts and their bittersweet smiles of her shredded past. those flimsily placed band aids, it'd be like going at them with a cruel pair of scissors; reopening the wound and deepening it, stabbing and twisting- he couldn't--
she wasn't strong enough to deal with it again, teeth grit against the sting of her eyes, keep it in.
and then, such a delicate whisper-- 'i'm sorry'
her heart skips a beat, eyelids flickering to reveal the gutter of that hesitant stare- as if struggling to believe such rage could be met with such soft hands. no, she was sorry, she was- she needed to say it but, her eyes widen when she takes him in. the hunch of his figure, crying upon the earth, and she shatters.
what the hell was she thinking, he'd been struck so hard and she'd been so selfish, always so focused on her own woes. he sobbed and she broke, lip trembling as those damn tears trecked silently down her own damp fur- yet she couldn't move, chest caving in on itself as she watched.
'i-i'm so sorry-'
"w-west" she exhaled, the name tumbling from nervously dried lips "sstop i didn't mean- you shouldn't be sorry you-" talk dammit! she took a step forward, halted, blinked against the blurring. vines of tightly bound trepidation seemed to be sprouting from the earth and snagging at her paws as she forced the too heavy limb to lift again- and fall uselessly upon the earth once more - dammit.
tail swept the ground as she swallowed, and walked, right up to his dejected figure. how uncanny, to see him like this; he was so much larger than her but in this moment, in the face of this vulnerability, he seemed so small. and polaris, still trembling from the sheer force of emotion running riot throughout her body, crouched beside him and pressed herself tentatively to his side, the warmth radiating from him managing to settle some of the shivers despite anxiety induced tremors still remaining stubbornly present.
she lingered in silence for a few more moments, staring unseeingly at the scintillating river, before whispering "west i'm..i'm sorry too. you didn't deserve that i.." paws press harder into the earth "it's not an excuse for shouting like that but i was scared i just,,,i don't know what i'd do if i lost you and perhaps it's selfish to pin that on you but it's the truth i wouldn't...i wouldn't be able to handle it, go through that again so when you said you were gonna leave i panicked and i..i'm sorry" a small hiccup, as ears slunk back against her head- heartbeat picking up again at the sentence lingering at the tip of her tongue.
the emotion she knew well she felt, knew well she returned; had suspected time and time again but had ignored for fear she was somehow fooling herself, that it couldn't be real or she was too young or whatever excuse decided to emerge that particular day. but knowing he felt the same, he loved her- how surreal was that? how could she have ruined what should have been such a happy moment? it's what made revealing this sentence now so terrifying.
what if she was too late with it?
"it's because, i...i love you too west tyree"
shit.
she can't bear to look at him, fear's cold hand stroking down her spine as she glared hard at the intertwining grass. so carefree in its frivolous tango, sorta pissed her off as she herself lingered upon a threshold of full blown panic; struggling to complete a task as simple as breathing.
what was he thinking?? oh lords what could he be thinking?? he loved her- HER! loved! and she-- she'd slapped him in the face with it.
he just-- eyes fluttered shut as a steadying inhale is attempted, fighting againt that familiar tightening sensation in her damn throat. she couldn't cry again, wouldn't. but he just, he couldn't leave her. she couldn't be alone again, not when she'd only just begun to make peace with the ghosts and their bittersweet smiles of her shredded past. those flimsily placed band aids, it'd be like going at them with a cruel pair of scissors; reopening the wound and deepening it, stabbing and twisting- he couldn't--
she wasn't strong enough to deal with it again, teeth grit against the sting of her eyes, keep it in.
and then, such a delicate whisper-- 'i'm sorry'
her heart skips a beat, eyelids flickering to reveal the gutter of that hesitant stare- as if struggling to believe such rage could be met with such soft hands. no, she was sorry, she was- she needed to say it but, her eyes widen when she takes him in. the hunch of his figure, crying upon the earth, and she shatters.
what the hell was she thinking, he'd been struck so hard and she'd been so selfish, always so focused on her own woes. he sobbed and she broke, lip trembling as those damn tears trecked silently down her own damp fur- yet she couldn't move, chest caving in on itself as she watched.
'i-i'm so sorry-'
"w-west" she exhaled, the name tumbling from nervously dried lips "sstop i didn't mean- you shouldn't be sorry you-" talk dammit! she took a step forward, halted, blinked against the blurring. vines of tightly bound trepidation seemed to be sprouting from the earth and snagging at her paws as she forced the too heavy limb to lift again- and fall uselessly upon the earth once more - dammit.
tail swept the ground as she swallowed, and walked, right up to his dejected figure. how uncanny, to see him like this; he was so much larger than her but in this moment, in the face of this vulnerability, he seemed so small. and polaris, still trembling from the sheer force of emotion running riot throughout her body, crouched beside him and pressed herself tentatively to his side, the warmth radiating from him managing to settle some of the shivers despite anxiety induced tremors still remaining stubbornly present.
she lingered in silence for a few more moments, staring unseeingly at the scintillating river, before whispering "west i'm..i'm sorry too. you didn't deserve that i.." paws press harder into the earth "it's not an excuse for shouting like that but i was scared i just,,,i don't know what i'd do if i lost you and perhaps it's selfish to pin that on you but it's the truth i wouldn't...i wouldn't be able to handle it, go through that again so when you said you were gonna leave i panicked and i..i'm sorry" a small hiccup, as ears slunk back against her head- heartbeat picking up again at the sentence lingering at the tip of her tongue.
the emotion she knew well she felt, knew well she returned; had suspected time and time again but had ignored for fear she was somehow fooling herself, that it couldn't be real or she was too young or whatever excuse decided to emerge that particular day. but knowing he felt the same, he loved her- how surreal was that? how could she have ruined what should have been such a happy moment? it's what made revealing this sentence now so terrifying.
what if she was too late with it?
"it's because, i...i love you too west tyree"
RE: Feeling Hotter Than a Glue Gun - West Tyree - November 18, 2020
For a while the only sounds that could be captured were those of his own mixed with those of the small creatures who watched from the shadows, lingering from the tops of the trees and dense undergrowth. Between his blurry eyes and sniveling, it felt almost as if he was alone in the woods. Maybe he was alone. West wouldn't be surprised if Polaris really did leave, pissed and uncomfortable by his groveling. Wasn't he supposed to be a man now?
"w-west"
"sstop i didn't mean- you shouldn't be sorry you-"
So she hadn't left after all. Honestly, he wasn't sure what was worse, her leaving or staying to watch as he continued to make a pitiful display. Never had he burned himself so bad, and now the barriers that had held him together were flooded and crumbled. It gripped his chest and twisted like a knife but...admittedly, as painful as it was there was some relief with each trail of tears that cut through his fur.
At some point something pressing into him, a weight that shivered against him despite the warmth it offered. A loud sniff came as he swallowed, the lump in his throat finally going down allowing him to breathe just a little bit better. A whisper graced his ears, soft and melodic beneath the pain that seemed to be etched into her words. The gaps seemed to connect that it was actually Polaris now leaning into him, and while he was surprised he didn't let himself linger on that fact.
Right now, it held him together. It was the last stone standing in his wall, but it had stayed despite all its brothers falling into the waters that waited. The touch warmed him in a different way, it seemed to fill a gap that he hadn't realized existed until now, but she filled it perfectly as if she belonged there from the start.
His eyes burned, bleary, and red from his past efforts to make his tears disappear, but now he could see her. West couldn't tell what look painted her face, but it didn't belong there. It never did, just like so many others. He only wanted to see her smile. Perhaps that was why her next words hit him like a tree.
Surely he had heard her wrong, how was it even possible? After he had hurt her time after time again from picking the wrong words to straight-up trying to abandon her and their home. Why would she love him back? Furrowed brows rose as he stared in disbelief, what was he even supposed to say? What...what happened now? She loved him? Somehow despite everything, those words were enough to put a pause on everything else. All his other worries melded into the static of his brain, a simple buzz tuned out by the present.
West could feel his heart swell in his chest, the rapid beating no longer anxious just...shocked—
"w-west"
"sstop i didn't mean- you shouldn't be sorry you-"
So she hadn't left after all. Honestly, he wasn't sure what was worse, her leaving or staying to watch as he continued to make a pitiful display. Never had he burned himself so bad, and now the barriers that had held him together were flooded and crumbled. It gripped his chest and twisted like a knife but...admittedly, as painful as it was there was some relief with each trail of tears that cut through his fur.
At some point something pressing into him, a weight that shivered against him despite the warmth it offered. A loud sniff came as he swallowed, the lump in his throat finally going down allowing him to breathe just a little bit better. A whisper graced his ears, soft and melodic beneath the pain that seemed to be etched into her words. The gaps seemed to connect that it was actually Polaris now leaning into him, and while he was surprised he didn't let himself linger on that fact.
Right now, it held him together. It was the last stone standing in his wall, but it had stayed despite all its brothers falling into the waters that waited. The touch warmed him in a different way, it seemed to fill a gap that he hadn't realized existed until now, but she filled it perfectly as if she belonged there from the start.
His eyes burned, bleary, and red from his past efforts to make his tears disappear, but now he could see her. West couldn't tell what look painted her face, but it didn't belong there. It never did, just like so many others. He only wanted to see her smile. Perhaps that was why her next words hit him like a tree.
W-What?—His voice creaked, distraught from the yelling and crying despite the soft tone that now follows.
Surely he had heard her wrong, how was it even possible? After he had hurt her time after time again from picking the wrong words to straight-up trying to abandon her and their home. Why would she love him back? Furrowed brows rose as he stared in disbelief, what was he even supposed to say? What...what happened now? She loved him? Somehow despite everything, those words were enough to put a pause on everything else. All his other worries melded into the static of his brain, a simple buzz tuned out by the present.
West could feel his heart swell in his chest, the rapid beating no longer anxious just...shocked—
I— I don't know what to say—Did...did that make them mates??? Maybe he was getting ahead of himself, but a new buzz filled his head.
You...want to be with me? Even after...this.He couldn't help but shrug his shoulders as he gestured to himself with his snout. Another sniff escaped him, but otherwise, he just stared speechlessly.
RE: Feeling Hotter Than a Glue Gun - RIP Polaris - November 30, 2020
she'd never been so terrified, how did that even make sense? not one singular moment in her life, no matter how minacious her situation had resulted in such nauseating pressure bearing down on her. she was tense against him, like a tightly strung bow as teeth ground against each other and eyes pierced at vacuous blades of grass with startling vehemence; as if somehow these miniscule drops of life had been the source of such anxiety and not the boy at her side. or no, it wasn't his fault per se- this one was really on her and this apparent inability to not fuck even the simplest of situations up.
was he looking at her? yes, she could feel it- the gentle probe of that verdant stare. could it be weighed down by unease, disdain even at her utter cheek to think she could spew such venom at him and then crawl back in, grovelling with promises of love? blunt nails pressed into the firm dirt, regretting the dizzyingly close proximity in that moment as she attempted to focus on anything but him and those tendrils of sparking heat unfurling from the flank she was well too aware of pressed to his.
damn, she was pathetic.
the smallest of starts at the rumble of his voice, ears fluttering against her head as if it would somehow lengthen the time it took for his disgust to land home, rather linger in such rigid purgatory than face what must surely come after. she winces at the that grate, mind wasting no time in interpreting his surprise as dismay, perhaps even horror and oh how she'd literally chew off a paw if it meant that the ground would open up and swallow her whole. by this point, she'd unknowingly managed to press a little furrow into the earth unfortunate enough to lay victim to the nervous shifting of pressing claws; loose dirt clinging to the pale hairs for dear life.
the silence that followed seemed to press upon her with unberable weight; this was awful. she was about to start offering prayers to whatever cruel freaks..gods, that might exist- she'd never eat meat again; become a prancing berry wolf, she'd never raise her voice above a chipper murmur- never try to get in the way of their fun and games playing with wolves' fates like it was nothing-- - never! but then he spoke once more and despite the stubborn set of her stare remaining fixed upon anything other than him; her entire being abandoned all else to catch nervously ahold of what words he may offer.
it didn't start off too great, in fact his continued unease was enough to offer her the adrenaline she needed to flee this calamitous situation and paws tensed in preparation as jaws parted to drop a meek "you don't need-"
but thank god west saved her from foolish impulsiveness once more by pushing on before she could make yet another mistake-- freezing at what followed as wide eyes finally dragged themselves back to look upon that honest, open face of his-
it was as if someone had smacked her across the face and she could only stare in stunned silence for a few moments before eyes crinkled and she was laughing, laughing so hard her chest hurt as she flopped back into the grass' embrace and continued her chortle. following up with a brief struggle to regain her composure, she straightened; well aware of the spiky, disorderly mess of fur littered with leafy debris she'd acquired as she exclaimed a little breathlessly "i'm so sorry i'm not laughing at you west i swear i just....we're so dumb!" and another fit of giggles erupted from the parting of that slender muzzle before she hiccuped "that whole time i was convinced you couldn't love me after i'd gotten so angry at you, i was really about to run away when you spoke but then you-- you were thinking i couldn't love you? i'm sorry it just seems so funny"
she blinked down to her dirtied paws, calmer now as that small smile lingered and she murmured "west you're the most genuine, brave and caring wolf i've ever met; of course i could love you" a swallow then as eyes hardened, touched by renewed determination as she straightened and fixed their glow upon him; smile appearing serpentine with the following uttering
"and we'll deal with ursus, we'll make them regret the moment they ever approached this border- together."
was he looking at her? yes, she could feel it- the gentle probe of that verdant stare. could it be weighed down by unease, disdain even at her utter cheek to think she could spew such venom at him and then crawl back in, grovelling with promises of love? blunt nails pressed into the firm dirt, regretting the dizzyingly close proximity in that moment as she attempted to focus on anything but him and those tendrils of sparking heat unfurling from the flank she was well too aware of pressed to his.
damn, she was pathetic.
the smallest of starts at the rumble of his voice, ears fluttering against her head as if it would somehow lengthen the time it took for his disgust to land home, rather linger in such rigid purgatory than face what must surely come after. she winces at the that grate, mind wasting no time in interpreting his surprise as dismay, perhaps even horror and oh how she'd literally chew off a paw if it meant that the ground would open up and swallow her whole. by this point, she'd unknowingly managed to press a little furrow into the earth unfortunate enough to lay victim to the nervous shifting of pressing claws; loose dirt clinging to the pale hairs for dear life.
the silence that followed seemed to press upon her with unberable weight; this was awful. she was about to start offering prayers to whatever cruel freaks..gods, that might exist- she'd never eat meat again; become a prancing berry wolf, she'd never raise her voice above a chipper murmur- never try to get in the way of their fun and games playing with wolves' fates like it was nothing-- - never! but then he spoke once more and despite the stubborn set of her stare remaining fixed upon anything other than him; her entire being abandoned all else to catch nervously ahold of what words he may offer.
it didn't start off too great, in fact his continued unease was enough to offer her the adrenaline she needed to flee this calamitous situation and paws tensed in preparation as jaws parted to drop a meek "you don't need-"
but thank god west saved her from foolish impulsiveness once more by pushing on before she could make yet another mistake-- freezing at what followed as wide eyes finally dragged themselves back to look upon that honest, open face of his-
it was as if someone had smacked her across the face and she could only stare in stunned silence for a few moments before eyes crinkled and she was laughing, laughing so hard her chest hurt as she flopped back into the grass' embrace and continued her chortle. following up with a brief struggle to regain her composure, she straightened; well aware of the spiky, disorderly mess of fur littered with leafy debris she'd acquired as she exclaimed a little breathlessly "i'm so sorry i'm not laughing at you west i swear i just....we're so dumb!" and another fit of giggles erupted from the parting of that slender muzzle before she hiccuped "that whole time i was convinced you couldn't love me after i'd gotten so angry at you, i was really about to run away when you spoke but then you-- you were thinking i couldn't love you? i'm sorry it just seems so funny"
she blinked down to her dirtied paws, calmer now as that small smile lingered and she murmured "west you're the most genuine, brave and caring wolf i've ever met; of course i could love you" a swallow then as eyes hardened, touched by renewed determination as she straightened and fixed their glow upon him; smile appearing serpentine with the following uttering
"and we'll deal with ursus, we'll make them regret the moment they ever approached this border- together."
RE: Feeling Hotter Than a Glue Gun - West Tyree - December 09, 2020
West blinked as she started to speak, but quickly fell silent. Then an eruption of laughter followed something that shook him as heat rose to his cheeks. Was it laughable to ask that she wanted to be with him? Perhaps so, he hadn't made himself entirely desirable just now. A pit wanted to drop in his stomach and sink him to the bottom of the river, though before it had the chance to drown him...she continued.
It was like Polaris had said, they were both so fucking dumb. He felt like he had gone through a rollercoaster of emotions, but it seemed the end was finally in sight, something he could hold onto with certainty. The dull ache in his chest bloomed and spread through his body like vines. Honestly, he could probably cry again, but his eyes burned too much from the previous tears shed to even consider it. Instead, he fell into his own set of laughter. He could smack himself for how many hoops they just jumped through for such...a simple answer.
He didn't need to hear more, it didn't matter now. The boy threw a leg over her and pulled Polaris close, his face pressing into her neck as his chuckles died down,
It was like Polaris had said, they were both so fucking dumb. He felt like he had gone through a rollercoaster of emotions, but it seemed the end was finally in sight, something he could hold onto with certainty. The dull ache in his chest bloomed and spread through his body like vines. Honestly, he could probably cry again, but his eyes burned too much from the previous tears shed to even consider it. Instead, he fell into his own set of laughter. He could smack himself for how many hoops they just jumped through for such...a simple answer.
He didn't need to hear more, it didn't matter now. The boy threw a leg over her and pulled Polaris close, his face pressing into her neck as his chuckles died down,
Thank you—It felt like more should be said, but he only feared messing up his words, so for now he would just hold her and hope it was enough to speak for him. He couldn't leave his family, not when they had stayed behind him time after time again, and now Polaris too. They would handle things and even Ursus couldn't stop them now. They'd push through...together.