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+--- Thread: Whitefish River you're the truth that's breaking me and keeping me together (/showthread.php?tid=44751)
you're the truth that's breaking me and keeping me together - Charles - November 04, 2020
Charles hadn't really meant to come close to this random pack, though with the dreams he'd been having lately he definitely considered running off, joining some random pack and starting his life anew. How disgusting was he? Did he really, like, fancy Osiris? Of course not! Dreams were just that. All he needed to do was avoid Osiris for a while, yeah, until the dreams stopped.
Despite his best intentions of avoiding these borders, something interesting caught his scent while he was out exploring.
Was that...
@Riley?Charles blinked and he couldn't help but feel drawn to the scent of his long lost brother. It wasn't the same in many ways. He was surprised he recognised it at all underneath all that.. newness. It was unmistakably him though. Charles found himself longing for seeing Riley again, for being bullied around and for just... Something he understood, he supposed, mostly.
That carried him to this pack's borders. He didn't trespass -- he wasn't stupid -- but he did stay lingering around the frays of the pack's Western borders until he eventually gathered the courage to howl for Riley.
RE: you're the truth that's breaking me and keeping me together - Riley - November 04, 2020
The last time Riley had seen Charles, he had been cruel to him. And in turn, the world had been cruel back to Riley -- rounding out his sharper edges, bludgeoning his points to soft corners. He stood before Charles a little different. Harder in some ways, softer than others.
He did not immediately recognize Charles, and so for a few short seconds the brother was ruthlessly scowled at -- until at last Riley recalled those long ears and unmistakable pelt. "Charles." So many things had changed since they'd played in Easthollow. He'd done so many awful things, too. Would Charles still love his brother, if he knew?
Riley's coldness fell away to a lukewarm reception -- which in Riley's world, was the closest thing to brotherly affection that Charles would ever get.
RE: you're the truth that's breaking me and keeping me together - Charles - November 04, 2020
He arrived, then, and Riley stared him down in a most familiar way. Charles felt uncomfortable yet at the same time there was something familiar and thus pleasant about the discomfort. It was like having a small part of his mother back in his life, however much he loathed her. He didn't speak during this silence, stood rooted. He'd been so sure what he'd say moments before but now it all just seemed to... Be gone.
Finally he spoke. His name. Riley's demeanour changed, surprisingly so. Charles blinked.
Why are you here?he ended up saying, dumbly. He had never expected to see his brother again. Charles flinched visibly after he'd said it, knowing it was stupid (after all, everything he said was stupid, every question an affront); he expected from his brother the same he expected from his mother, and it was nothing to look forward to.
RE: you're the truth that's breaking me and keeping me together - Riley - November 12, 2020
As cruel as it was, Riley didn't want to see his brother again. He didn't want to be reminded of his childhood, or have all of these memories brought back -- he didn't want to get pulled or sucked back into the life he had before he had left Easthollow. He'd made a name for himself here, separate from anything but his own merit - no family, no past baggage: just Riley, doing life as best he could.
So to have Charles here after he'd so painfully torn himself from his home and everything he knew threatened his new reality and his new life. Riley's fur bristled outward, projecting his size to something well beyond his normal deportment. Charles flinched, causing Riley's eyes to narrow as he parroted back coldly "What are you doing here?" He was two seconds from chasing Charles away; as much as it hurt to be needlessly cruel, Riley would never go back and Charles was a cold reminder of the life he had purposely left behind.
RE: you're the truth that's breaking me and keeping me together - Charles - November 13, 2020
Riley tensed, too, his hackles rising to validate that Charles had reasons to be afraid of him. Instead of answering the question like a normal person, Riley instantly shot back the question, also validating that Charles' question had, in fact, been super dumb. Charles' large ears flattened against his skull and he licked his lips in a subconscious gesture of submission. He didn't want to be that way at all. He didn't want to lay down and be walked all over whenever someone didn't like the way he talked or looked. But it just happened. His hackles raised, too, as he tried to fight his instincts to instantly submit and apologise.
Fighting his body and instincts with tooth and nail, Charles raised his tail a little in a defiant gesture.
I live near here,he said, his voice echoing the rebellious what of it? look on his face. Riley could hurt him, could beat him, but he couldn't make him un-live near here.
RE: you're the truth that's breaking me and keeping me together - Riley - November 14, 2020
Riley might have been slow, but he didn't miss the conflicting emotions that dueled across Charles' face. First, submission -- followed by an uptick of defiance that set Riley aback.
His hardened gaze softened minutely; just enough that Charles might be perceptive of it but not in the clear from Riley's anger, either. The yearling felt his fur inflate as he registered Charles lived near here -- no! He had made a life for himself, and he didn't want anyone from his old life to come back. "Why?!" Riley blurted, feeling a cold hand of dread seize his stomach and squeeze it maliciously. If Charles was here, that meant Laurel too -- and Riley didn't want anything to do with his family. Not anymore.
"Is mom with you?"
RE: you're the truth that's breaking me and keeping me together - Charles - November 17, 2020
Why was a good question that Charles had no answer to. The answer was always because he had no spine. He lived here because Leta lived here, but he felt an old flare of jealousy when he thought of telling Riley that. He hadn't forgotten how Riley would separate Charles from his toys or from Leta when they were little. He wasn't too sure whether he wanted to let Riley in on that little secret of his life. He had no other answers though. It was strange to stand here and not be beaten up by Riley. Whenever he imagined a reunion with his brother, Charles always imagined that that was what he would do.
The next question caught him off guard. He didn't really want to answer, but before he knew it, he'd blurted out --
No, of course not!as if it was a horrible insult that he would go here only because mother had brought him here. No, he'd left in part to get away from her and her terrible moods. That Riley thought he would stay with her made him feel sick to his stomach. Was that really what he appeared to be?
After a second or five of silence, Charles defiantly said:
Aren't you gonna beat me?Especially when he had stood up he expected for Riley's mood to worsen, but instead it seemed to be conflicting. It was strange. Charles was only used to being beat whenever he stood up for himself. ... Or whenever he didn't, for that matter.
RE: you're the truth that's breaking me and keeping me together - Riley - November 23, 2020
Riley was on edge, as if expecting Laurel any minute. Charles was temporarily off guard, which made Riley tense all the more. Even if his brother didn't smell like Laurel and denied his affiliation with her vehemently, Riley was still too wary to let his guard down.
His eyes narrowed, trying to study his brother for any mark of dishonesty. He realized that while they shared a childhood together, they were grown so far apart now that he hardly knew Charles well enough to easily and capably detect dishonesty. Coupled with his brother's shift from off-guard to defiant, Riley found his suspicion of his once-brother growing.
"Do you want me to?" Riley queried after a lull, which was him parsing Charles' demeanor-shift and his seeming challenge.
RE: you're the truth that's breaking me and keeping me together - Charles - December 02, 2020
The words Riley spoke knocked all air out of Charles. His eyes widened and his hackles raised notably, his tail puffed up in absolute bewilderment. A few seconds later his eyes narrowed and he snapped,
No, of course not!although it was clear from his tone that he was totally caught out and that Riley was correct.
How dare —!Charles brought out flustered, and he jumped at Riley with exposed teeth as if to show him how very much he was incorrect. Old Charles would never seek the confrontation himself, after all. He just didn't want to lose this exchange. He didn't want Riley here. He didn't want any of it, not anymore. But it was too late now.
RE: you're the truth that's breaking me and keeping me together - Riley - December 04, 2020
Riley hoped that Charles would quail away. In Riley's mind Charles had always been the weaker of the two - he believed earnestly that Charles had the constitutional strength of a sodden leaf. So convicted of this impression Riley was, he was equally caught off guard by his brother's lunge.
It took several seconds to process Charles had moved towards him. By that time, Charles' teeth had hit him and scraped their mark. Riley's eyes watered in pain-response, narrowing into furious slits as he realized what had happened.
A dull roar pounded into his heart and spilled out from his mouth in fury. The cogs finally shifted, clanking into gear - Riley set after his brother with a murderous howl spilling darkly into the air.
RE: you're the truth that's breaking me and keeping me together - Charles - December 08, 2020
As he was doing it, Charles had a voice screaming in his mind going AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh what are you doing! But it was too late now. What was worse, he felt his teeth connect to something. He didn't even see what it was at first, but when he dared to open his eyes and look up at Riley (who suddenly seemed thrice his original size) Charles saw a little bit of blood on his brother's nose. It didn't look like it would stick for long or even scar, but Charles knew from experience that the face was the most sensitive part of the body, so it probably hurt right now.
Sorry, I'm SORRY!Charles screamed in a loud panic but it was too late, his brother already lunged at him. Charles finally came into motion to try and flee, but he was far too late by that time. He probably should've spent a bit less time apologising and a bit more time running.
The air was knocked from his lungs as he was caught by the side and Charles slammed to the ground. Charles let out a high-pitched yelp as he fell. His face hurt where he first hit the ground and Charles was reminded of his situation with Osiris (which gave him a weird combination of feelings). Charles crouched into a fetal position and buried his face underneath his paws. His instincts screamed at him to expose his stomach and neck, but he was too afraid for his life after having caught a glimpse of Riley's maddened eyes, and his fear dominated his instinct.
I made an assumption about Riley slamming him to the ground but if he would do something else pls let me know and i can edit <3
RE: you're the truth that's breaking me and keeping me together - Riley - December 12, 2020
It wasn't the screamed apology that brought Riley back, but the yelp --
Riley blinked, confused. Charles was on the ground, huddling with his head buried under his paws -- the echoing ((I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU)) beginning to fade from Riley's mind. Had he done that?
He stepped away with a snarl, those ebbing thoughts replaced now with shame that bubbled over into anger. Charles had made him do it. He wasn't a monster, it wasn't his fault -- Charles had brought the worst out of him and was to blame.
Pacing with frustration, Riley began to wrack his brain. It hardly seemed a coincidence to him that he'd been well behaved this entire time, up until Charles showed up -- and now he was acting out again. No. He wasn't going to back. Charles couldn't make him.
Riley turned on his brother with his fur on edge and eyes hard. "Get up." He commanded, his throat constricted and voice unusually deep. "Get the fuck out of here."
RE: you're the truth that's breaking me and keeping me together - Charles - December 15, 2020
Charles expected his brother to snap at him. He'd seen those maddened eyes. He expected to return home bloodied and broken, if at all. But while his brother's initial rage had left some of his body smarting with pain, the dive that he expected didn't happen. He didn't dare look up even in the absence of pain and remained curled up on the ground, paws folded over his face, until his brother's cold voice commanded him to get up.
It was so familiar, and yet so far away. Would his brother love him if he did what he was told, now? Why didn't it feel like before? It was supposed to feel good, supposed to feel better, now — but instead of feeling better, all Charles felt was a hollow emptiness that nothing seemed able to fill.
He choked away a sob — god, he was so pathetic — as he finally pulled himself from the ground. He couldn't even feel exactly which parts of his body were aching, other than the place where he'd hit the ground. He couldn't feel whether the pain in his ear, on the side of his face, on his shoulder and his flank were from places he'd been bitten or if it was just the impact of the throw, or some sort of weird memory pain.
Riley, please, I'm your brother—he tried, wanting so badly to be accepted and loved by his family. But he could hear and see from the way Riley stood and talked that his doors were closed. Charles stood shaking on his feet, bruised and battered and tail curled between his hind legs instinctively, not unlike many times before in their youth; Riley and Laurel were the ones who had taught him submission. He would give up his toys and his friends for Riley's sake, always. Now, though, he was being asked to give up Riley, and that was what made this so different from every time before. Everything about Charles' instincts told him to listen to Riley — as a pup, he always listened to Riley — and run, run, run! But his heart told to hold on, because he wasn't ready yet to lose his brother for good.
But his brother did not listen, and as Riley turned towards the territory he lived in, Charles had to consider whether or not it would be worth it to pursue him.
By the time he had chosen Riley was gone and the emotion had subsided somewhat. The pain of his smarting wounds and bruises was starting to settle in. With a sad frown on his face he turned away, back to Firefly Glen to lick his wounds.