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+--- Thread: Totoka River intention, retention, it's all in your head (/showthread.php?tid=46027)
intention, retention, it's all in your head - Lakhos - January 07, 2021
the river was a nice discovery. like everything else, he had stumbled across it in a moment where the world felt incredibly overwhelming. tired of feasting on scraps and after a well learned lesson about why one should not drink saltwater, finding a fresh water source was a godsend.
not that lakhos believed in god or gods. he wasn’t the slightest bit spiritualistic. but if there were some gods out there, he was certainly thanking them. fresh water would do him good and fresh water was a source of finding food relatively easily… most of the time.
when he had slaked his thirst, he begun the arduous task of fishing. the fish were pretty easy to spot, but catching them? the audience laughed with more gusto than deserving for a really bad sitcom where the main character was weeping internally. could he have actually cried, lakhos may have when the fifth fish in half an hour had literally leapt between his open mouth and freedom.
the sharp click! of his teeth hurt. his feet were cold and wet.
rage replaced sorrow pretty easily, his nostrils flared with a huff as he started from square one again. he grumbled, he paced, and finally stilled to let the running waters bring him a stupid prize. the coywolf would have ate shoe leather if it came washing downstream but out here in the wilderness, he had about as much luck of that happening as he did finding a garbage can with a cheeseburger wrapper to lick.
lakhos, now the statue, stood waiting.
but where the fuck did the fish go??
RE: intention, retention, it's all in your head - Haoming - January 07, 2021
Of all the things Haoming expected to come across today, she did not expect to find a weird wolf trying to fish. The small girl watched him as he attempted, time and time again, to snap his jaws at the swift creatures. And she was certainly not the best huntress around - not yet anyway, - she could see places where he was going wrong.
Her stutter was improving, but she did not feel as confident as she sounded when she spoke.
"Th-the fish will not come t-to you," she informed, fighting a small smirk at the sight of the frozen boy in the water. The girl padded along the riverbank, not too keen on letting her paws get wet at the moment. "Your... shadow, on the w-water. They see it." And they would swim away from it as well. In the sunlight, his shadow would be like a flashing red WARNING sign for them.
RE: intention, retention, it's all in your head - Lakhos - January 07, 2021
everywhere he went, he had an audience.
it was really getting annoying either being dropped in on or being watched and frankly he really should have been used to it by now. but somehow—maybe because he thought he truly only had two braincells at any given point in time—he had never gotten used to it.
when the girl made herself noticeable, he took notice of her. well most importantly, it was her eyes that he took notice of first. he had seen that shit before, couldn’t remember the name of it, but it definitely set anyone apart from the rest whenever he saw them.
and he, at least this time, was mildly expressionless. not entirely stoic, but dull enough that he looked at her like she started speaking greek to him. the stutter didn’t help—was she timid? was someone actually potentially afraid of his scrawny, rawboned ass? he made a face, but mostly to her advice.
“yeah, well, these fish are stupid.”
but so was he.
“what do you want, anyway? i’m not sharing whatever i catch, so…” and he didn’t think he needed to finish that sentence, figuring the point would get across to her if she was smart enough to catch his drift. he didn’t think she came to laugh at him and she also didn’t seem to be too fond of getting her feet all wet. so she had to be smart. it was winter, who the hell stands in the middle of a slow stream spot up to their elbows in water?? lakhos, that’s who.
and he didn't move either.
RE: intention, retention, it's all in your head - Haoming - January 07, 2021
Haoming watched the boy carefully. She wasn't afraid of him - he was... thin. Had to be hungry. She didn't doubt that she would be able to outrun him, but unfortunately she had inherited her mother's tiny-ness, which greatly decreased her own intimidation tactics.
Not that that prevented her from trying.
"Smarter than yuh-you," she announced, a small smirk forming on her maw and her brow raising just a bit. Clearly, these fish had outwit him.
A soft hum escaped her as he spoke again. What did she want? Nothing, really. She could stand to gain nothing from this encounter. And yet, he was interesting. He didn't look like any wolf she had ever seen before, and he was literally standing in freezing cold water like an idiot.
"Why would I w-want your food, when I c-can catch my own?" she inquired, amused. "I-I am a nice person, so I want to huh-help you." It would be absolutely atrocious of her if she left him to freeze to death in a river. It was just to keep her conscience lighter.
She tipped her head to the side, waiting for his response.
RE: intention, retention, it's all in your head - Lakhos - January 07, 2021
okay, right, totally a nice person who didn’t just insult him five seconds ago. his gaze narrowed at her, scrutinizing whatever veiled offer may have been lurking behind it. definitely a trap. just like the big dumb white wolf in the taiga trying to lure him back into the cave.
except not really, she didn’t seem to want to feast on his flesh any time soon but there really wasn’t much to him at this point. he’d probably taste bitter no matter what seasonings they added to him and his bones weren’t worth their weight to make a stock out of.
“oh my god, the stutterer is both skilled and generous,” he mocked then with a sneer. “fortune smiles upon my soul today!” a laugh escaped him then, the very action just enough to make him move and give the fish even more reason to scatter. that cut off his laughter.
“if you’re so damn smart and capable how about you learn to be a teacher then and lead by example? maybe the confidence will fix your mouth.” since she wanted to rub in that she was oh-so-able to hunt and feed herself even in the depths of winter, he couldn’t help but let every word out of his mouth be barbed.
RE: intention, retention, it's all in your head - Haoming - January 07, 2021
The jab at her stutter didn't hurt her quite as much as it once did, but it still stung. Perhaps she really should just let this pitiful creature freeze to death - or starve. It would likely be merciful at this point. But Hua was kind, and would want her to be at least remotely so, and besides... she kind of wanted to prove herself to him now.
Wordlessly, Haoming traveled upstream a few yards. She checked the height of the sun and ensured that it would be casting her shadow on the riverbank rather than the water. Silence was key here, and her forepaws made small ripples as she stepped slowly into the water. It was cold, but tolerable.
She didn't go far in, but she didn't need to. Silver flashes lit up beneath the surface as the fish swam by, and she stood still. And waited.
It was probably only a couple of minutes before one swam close enough, and Haoming struck down. Teeth fastened around the fish's tail, and she jerked her head back. It was a little thing - probably a bit old and wiry, judging by how slow it had been, but it would do.
Haoming turned back around and laid the fish out on the riverbank.
"Eat it," she ordered, fur bristling and eyes narrowed at the boy. Less kindness and more a pride thing at this point, but she tried. And what he had said had hurt her more than she wanted to let on, though it was probably evidenced by the fact that she could no longer quite meet his eyes. Slightly shamed. "F-fortune smiles upon y-your soul."
RE: intention, retention, it's all in your head - Lakhos - January 07, 2021
wary of her, he watched as she passed him by to travel upstream. his commentary had seemed to silence her and for a good long moment, lakhos thought he had driven her away with the piercing words. good, he thought, only to be proven wrong when she dipped her toes in that icy water.
his expression turned, as did his body, and he kept her in his line of sight to watch her work. foolishly he hoped she would fail so for once he could have the last laugh, but as it were, that did not happen either. whether it was just plain luck, actual skill, or karma slapping him upside the head for being an idiot, she had a fish in no time at all.
motherfucker.
in his eyes, she strutted right back to the riverbank like it was nothing. not at all phased by the cold waters, not at all displeased with the fact that he had just verbally assaulted her like a deranged heathen. no, she strutted back all full of pride as far as he was concerned and the bow on the top of her present was the way she had set that fish down on the bank to meet his gaze again.
“what if i don’t eat it? you gonna cram it down my throat and choke me with it?” point blank: he didn’t want to be ordered around. fortune could rub his face in piss on the carpet all it wanted to. his temperament was all wrong for correction and he was god’s great big dumb backyard bred mutt.
the cold seeped in to his limbs by then and he shivered.
“i’m literally quaking with fear,” and the sarcasm bled through.
RE: intention, retention, it's all in your head - Haoming - January 07, 2021
It was a combination of luck and skill - there was a marked benefit of living oceanside that allowed her to learn to fish at a relatively young age. But this was also an old fish, and Haoming was quite lucky to have caught it.
Or perhaps it was universal karma for the boy in front of her.
This boy, who was gretting on Haoming's very last nerve. And she didn't have many to begin with. He was visibly starving, trying to catch food, and was... turning her offering down? Haoming's eyes widened a bit and she stared at him, wondering how anyone could be quite this stupid.
You gonna cram it down my throat and choke me with it?
"I j-just might!" she snapped, bristling her fur at him and stomping over to the edge of the water. "Why are you... not a-accepting it? I am helping you," she explained, narrowing her eyes in confusion. "You're h-hungry and cold! Wh-why are you being so di-difficult?"
RE: intention, retention, it's all in your head - Lakhos - January 07, 2021
he was being difficult?? him??
impossible.
he scoffed loudly, the water sloshing as he drew his legs through it. he had to move or otherwise the feeling would probably go in them. if it hadn’t already. the wolf part of him left him double-coated, sure, but even it was prone to being waterlogged in the best of scenarios.
he rolled his eyes at ol’ stutterbox.
“oh, sweetheart,” he crooned then, salting the wounds. “i didn’t ask for your help. where did i ask you explicitly for your help? you’re the one who walked up to me thinking i’m all incompetent, telling me how to hunt these fish. how long were you watching me before you decided that i needed your help, hm?”
there was vitriol lurking beneath his calm voice. his eyes narrowed, making him seem the fiend and coyote both more than ever. how dare—she had offended him, sure, but he could play that game too.
“nah, instead you just waltzed right up eyes all glitterin’ with amusement thinking this poor wretched little washed up mutt can’t fish. ‘oh, he must be cold and hungry!’ your pea brain probably went. ‘let me bark orders at him and insult him while he’s trying to get some food, because that’s what kindness is!’” he laughed, his voice cracking trying to hit the higher notes of her pretty lilt.
“please.”
RE: intention, retention, it's all in your head - Haoming - January 07, 2021
Well... yes, she thought he looked like he was cold and hungry. Was he not cold and hungry? He was standing in a very cold river, searching for fish, so... that was the only thing she could think of. And maybe she had been mean, but she though that the offer to help was valid, and she certainly hadn't given him bad advice.
"I don't think it's fu-funny!" she defended, and she really didn't. It was sad that he was alone, and cold, and failing to hunt. Which was exactly why she had stopped to help him in the first place. "You... you needed help. You'll die this way." He'd freeze limbs off, become hypothermic, and die.
But maybe that wasn't the way to get through to him. It was clearly not working, and so, she set aside the hot coals of her temper for the moment and decided to drop that annoying pride. That would get her into trouble one of these days.
What would Hua want her to do?
"Listen," she began, glancing off to the side and lowering her head. "I-I apologize. For stepping in wh-when I shouldn't have." She swallowed hard and looked down at the fish at her feet. "Could... we maybe share it, i-instead?"
RE: intention, retention, it's all in your head - Lakhos - January 07, 2021
man, why were all these wolves obsessed with death? more importantly, why did they even care about his well being? though maybe he should have been grateful that someone out there cared even a little, lakhos found it annoying. life was about survival of the fittest, at least in the little world that existed in his head.
and so far, he had done a pretty okay job of surviving.
he expected her to blow up in his face, really. he could see that anger coursing through every fiber of her being, right down to the glittering tint of her bi-colored eyes. stutterbox was a ticking time bomb and in their locked gazes, he had begun to prepare himself for that inevitable explosion.
but it never came.
his eyes narrowed at her request, but he made no smart ass comment. he’d hear her out at least and draw his conclusions from that. it took no time at all for her to reach a conclusion that she deemed fair—sharing. lakhos had to resist the urge to scoff at that too, letting his eyes close momentarily to save her from seeing them roll over in their sockets.
“why?” he returned after a beat, his eyes opening. she wanted to share with him so she could feel good over some table scraps? yeah, that seemed totally fair, sure. but for the sake of some character growth on his part and not wanting to seem like a complete petulant child, he added: “you could just catch another one. or, take that one and go.”
he didn’t want her compassion, or her company.
RE: intention, retention, it's all in your head - Haoming - January 07, 2021
This was beginning to wear down on Haoming's resolve. All of a sudden, she didn't feel proud and capable and good, like she'd tried to help someone. She felt... defeated, in a sense. She knew she wasn't the nicest person around, but was she really bad enough that he'd rather starve than eat what she had brought to him?
The thought that he might not want to be friends with her was stupid and intrusive. Haoming didn't want friends anyway. That was... totally not why she'd decided to talk to this random wolf. Right? She was just fine without friends, so why was she trying so hard right now?
"I don't know," she admitted, ears lowering as she looked down at the fish. All of a sudden, she wished she'd never killed it, because she certainly didn't have an appetite right now, and it seemed this boy didn't, either. "Is... I d-didn't mean to upset you. It wasn't my i-intention."
How did people make friends, anyway? It seemed so time-consuming and pointless. Not that that was what she had been trying to do, of course. Because... because that would be stupid.
Fuck it. Maybe she did want friends.
"I wan-wanted to meet you. Talk to you. I didn't mean to b-be mean." It was probably one of the most genuine things she'd said to anyone outside of her littermates. "I shouldn't've assumed y-you needed help."
RE: intention, retention, it's all in your head - Lakhos - January 07, 2021
oh now it was awkward city. but that was better than it being stab city, not that they had thumbs to wield knives or anything. if it was her intent to make him feel bad, it didn't work.
his eyes were still narrow slits. he should have just run away but instead the urge to be some twisted educator crossed him instead, and prompted him into speaking.
"then you oughta learn a better way to go about it then," he said bluntly. "and don't walk up on folks trying to fish. i'm not your... packmate or whatever. maybe that shit is acceptable in your world but out here in reality you're likely gonna get met with some teeth than a hello back."
his reality, his world, it was not a happy sunshine-y place. life wasn't easy and winter definitely did not make it any easier. but it was the way that the world seemed to work and he only did what he thought he knew was best. which apparently was wearing down the resolve of another and making them feel bad, but a victory was a victory.
right?
RE: intention, retention, it's all in your head - Haoming - January 08, 2021
Ugh. Feelings were gross and Haoming wanted nothing to do with them.
But his advice was duly noted. She wouldn't be doing anything like this again anytime soon. Haoming shook her head and put those walls back up, clearing her throat and straightening her posture back up.
It wasn't worth it.
"Th-thank you for teaching me," she stated calmly, and promptly turned around. The idea of taking the fish with her and leaving him to struggle on his own briefly crossed her mind, but she had no need for that fish, and maybe it would keep him from starving to death. Not that she should give a shit about that, but... she'd heard Nuwu talk about forgiveness too many times to be that mean. It was a gift for him, and if he truly was hungry, maybe he'd take it.
She took a deep breath and turned to leave.
Haoming's exit unless stopped <3
RE: intention, retention, it's all in your head - Lakhos - January 08, 2021
bingo.
self-satisfied, he watched as she turned and made her way to leave. lakhos wasn't the sort to stop someone if they wanted to leave and frankly that was in part of the fact that a good percentage of the creatures he would encounter in the world were easily bigger and capable of overpowering him.
especially since right now, he definitely looked the part of a little weakling, scrawny coyote more than he did the actual coywolf that was he. and truth be told, he would always be that way.
once she was gone though, you bet your ass he helped himself to that fish she had left lying on the shoreline. he'd take the advice that she had given him too, since, and in line with more truths, he wasn't really that skilled at anything in particular. scavenging was a way of life for him, but he'd take a leftover free hand out over wasting whatever energy he had left.
so he scarfed that fish down with gusto, almost choking on it at one point or another in his eagerness for something that wasn't half rotten and frozen. he tried to savor it but honestly, it was picked apart and some of the smaller bones ended up in his belly too.
and once that was done, he left the remnants behind.
time to see what else was out there to pick on.