Hideaway Strath Quiet when I'm coming home

Hideaway Strath Quiet when I'm coming home - Printable Version

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Quiet when I'm coming home - Simmik - January 12, 2021

gonna keep the bear and ego stuff vague
@Kynareth Deagon

Her teeth crunched through muscle and bone as she slowly ate the small hare held steady between her blood-stained front paws. She hadn't actually eaten much of it so far, too distracted by the pack's latest drama. She couldn't deny that things had changed for her in more ways than one. Kynareth had tried to take on a bear to save her and he had gone against his own packmates to protect her brother simply because she had asked. He had also stood up for her against those packmates; she might have reminded him that she could take care of herself had she not been so enthralled by the situation. Her feelings for him had certainly shifted since then.

And her desire to escape had slowly fizzled out, unable to compare to how control and power made her feel. She realized she would do almost anything to continue to feel this strong; it was easier to ignore the dark things in her mind that way.

She shook her head and spit out some of the rabbit's cotton-like fur. She hadn't had much of an appetite with her mind racing with everything that happened lately. Idly, while she was lost in her thoughts, she shifted her focus to the blood stain on her left paw and started trying to lick the fur clean.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Kynareth Deagon - January 12, 2021

rKynareth’s been searching for his pale lover. Her blindingly white fur causing her to blend in with the winter wonderland that’s surrounded them. This winter is harsh, especially with how much snow has already piled in and it doesn’t look like it’s going to be stopping anytime soon.

Even as he trudges through the substance it collects healthily on his coat and drapes over his head, neck, and back like a sheet or cape. He tries his best to shake it off but to no avail it accumulates just as fast.

Giving up on that, he doesn’t give up on searching for Simmik. A spec of worry beginning to crawl into his chaotic mind at the thought that perhaps she has finally escaped. Even though she has shown her appreciation towards him and other things that should make him feel better, sometimes it only puts him more on edge. Knowing all too well that Simmik is a clever being, he wonders if she is grooming him to be comfortable around her before high tailing it. Yet, his more logical side wonders if she would risk trying to escape in such weather. It puts her at both an advantage if she can pull it off, but a disadvantage if she finds herself lost or without food.

Shaking his head he pushes the frequent thoughts into the back of his mind. Though just as he starts to become frustrated, he sees a form of white out in the bear distance and without knowing it he smiles. At this distance he wonders if it is Nyra or Simmik, but as he closes in he comes to the conclusion that it is indeed Simmik.

His smile growing wider as he approaches. Yet, not wanting to seem like he was about to tear his fur out worrying, he sets an illusion of false cool. Sidling up to her, he forces his smile to become easier, less strained.

“Simmik.” He greets softly. “I’ve been looking all over for you. Guess I haven't been looking in the right places.” It’s said with an easy laugh even though despite him trying to hide it, she could probably see the anxiety creeping into him.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Simmik - January 12, 2021

Simmik hardly minded the snow; it only caused issues when she was trying to hunt, but she had dealt with worse. Now, though, she just let the icy precipitation gather on the edges of her top coat as she quietly considered the new state of her life.

Approaching steps pulled her from her trance, and she paused the cleaning of her paw to watch Kynareth moving towards her. Her heart skipped again, like it had that day on the borders and often after that when they were together. His soft greeting had a smile curving her lips, but she could tell there was something off about his laugh—he had been looking for her all over and she figured he might have grown worried when he didn't find her.

She stood and shook the snow from her fur before reaching forward to nuzzle his neck. I'm not going anywhere, she assured him, finally saying the words out loud. Until now, they had just been a thought in her mind—a realization she had come to slowly. Saying it made it more concrete, yet she didn't regret it. Guilt swelled in her chest, though; she imagined Mal and how worried he must be. He was probably searching for her. But if he found her and she refused to leave—what would happen then? It was too painful to think about, so she dealt with it in her usual way and avoided it all together. She would rather focus on Kynareth and easing his worry. That was much easier.

She turned and began to walk but paused to look over her shoulder at him. Let's get out of the snow, she suggested. He probably wasn't as fond of it as she was, and they weren't very far from his den.

As they moved inside, she realized she left the remains of her meal out in the snow. She would just go back later and move it to a cache. She slowly stretched and settled on the ground, her expression inviting him to lay next to her. Did you have a reason for looking for me? she asked. Or did you just want to make sure I hadn't left?

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Kynareth Deagon - January 13, 2021

He stands almost awkwardly before she shakes the snow off of her pelts and presses herself against him. She sees right through him and he wants to slap himself in the face for being weird about it. Yet, even when she mutters those words reassuringly he doesn’t expect them.

I’m not going anywhere.

His brows raise and he stupidly hesitates in her hold by how concrete those words sound. Getting a hold of himself he wraps his own head around her in a type of embrace. Then just as quickly as her heat came, it’s gone. Her back turned towards him with a summoning in her eyes.

He’s uncharacteristically silent. He has no words to say. Still trying to process what she just said. The whispers of doubts prodding the back of his mind are dissipated when they enter his den and she’s continuing their conversation.

He wastes no time flopping his muscled form down next to her and cuddling up enough to feel warmth, but still far enough away to look her in the eyes. He contemplates on her words and a loose, quiet laugh bubbles from his lips.

“Yes I wanted to make sure you hadn’t left.” He answers softly, but truthfully. His usually mischievous eyes soft as he looks upon her. “Would be terrified if you had.” Then the subtle upwards tilt of his mouth breaks into a loose lipped smile. “Don’t think I can live without you, darling. Now that I have you.” He admits.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Simmik - January 14, 2021

He had less to say than normal; in fact, he hadn't said anything since her statement that she intended to stay here. Half his pack hated her, but she didn't care. She was staying for Kynareth. She assumed things would settle with the pack eventually, especially when they learned she wasn't some meek, easy target.

He continued his silence as they made their way to the den, but she felt his presence directly behind her—it seemed he had a way of demanding her attention whenever he was near.

Finally when he spoke, it was to admit that he had been worried. She stared up at him, watching the shifting of his expression as he told her how scared he would be if she left and how he didn't think he could live without her. It made her heart skip again. She swallowed against the emotion that swelled in response to his admission. She wondered if it was as clear to everyone as it was to her how in love with him she was. She always had been, and it was freeing to be able to finally stop fighting it.

She nipped his chin as a small smile lifted one side of her mouth. Then she dealt a few gentle nips down his neck before nuzzling her face into the soft fur there. Well, then you don't have to, she murmured, sure of her promise but scared at the same time. She had never given anyone such a commitment. As long as you promise the same to me. She felt the same way he did, surely he could see that.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Kynareth Deagon - January 14, 2021

Her fiery eyes are soft and he can’t look away from them. He can see the emotion swelling within them and he can’t help but smile. Especially as she nips gently at his chin and embraces him. Comfortably tucking her head beneath his own, she is comforting his fears. Even though it’s just as hard for her as it is him, possibly even harder.

As long as you promise the same to me. She says. It has his chuckling against her, his barrel chest rumbling as his laugh reverberates through him. “Of course, darling. I don’t want it any other way.” Though he had laughed just before sayin it, his words are horribly serious.

Then a deep sigh is pulled from his heavy lungs. He pulls back to look at her. “I was wondering about something. Something I need help getting used to again. Something I think could work with you, but no one else.” He pauses his cryptic speech. “Something I don't want from anyone else but you.” He hums lowly.

Briefly looking away, he licks his lips almost nervously before meeting her eyes once more. “Pups.” He practically whispers. Immediately going silent to gauge whether or not it was a good idea to bring up with her.

Since his first mishap with Sasha he’s hated the idea of having pups. Truly he wouldn’t want them, would even kill them if they were unwanted. Yet, something about Simmik pulls him in. He wants her to be his everything. He wants her to be the mother of his pups because he knows she’ll be so, so much better than his whore of an ex-wife.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Simmik - January 14, 2021

She hadn't realized her next breath was held in her lungs until he answered, his low, rumbling laugh feeling like it vibrated through her entire body. When it was clear that he could offer her the same promise, a soft sigh moved from her chest. Her heart felt warm and tight at the same time. She inhaled deeply, taking his scent in and keeping her face against him as she released a contented sigh.

When he pulled back, her gaze immediately found his, then it searched his face as he spoke. She frowned a little as she tried to understand exactly what he was saying. Her brain tried to decipher what he could possibly mean. What could she do for him that no one else could? He hadn't even accepted her into the normal ranks of his pack. To the rest of the wolves here, she was nothing. She knew that wasn't the case for him, but she still couldn't help but wonder why she still held the lowest rank in the pack. She put the thought aside momentarily, though, because as she studied his face, she saw something vulnerable there. It was not something he offered often, and she didn't want to say anything to make him hide it away.

Pups. He wanted children, and he only wanted them from her. After what had happened with his ex-wife, she was surprised he ever wanted to have pups again. Her heart picked up speed in her chest and her stomach tightened. She realized then that she also wanted to have children—his children. They would be strong and powerful. And, she loved him, so this was something she could agree to—with some conditions, of course.

She was sure many emotions flickered across her expression as she considered things—surprise, love, even a little fear. It was scary to view herself as a mother, especially with everything broken inside her leaving dark, jagged holes in her mind and heart. But maybe they would make her whole again. She swallowed, still looking up at him. Okay, she said softly. I want children too. She paused and drew in a long breath, releasing it to calm her nerves. But, I want a couple things in return. If she were to be the mother of his children then she felt some things should change. I want a normal rank within the pack, she told him. It was the easier condition to explain, so she offered it first. I will never be respected by anyone else if I continue to be viewed as a captive. It would be obvious that there was more to say, even as she paused and shyly looked away. And— She swallowed. Her heart beat even faster. Her cheeks heated. Then, she finally looked up to meet his gaze again. I want to have children as your wife; you can have lovers—I don't care about that, but I want to be your only wife. The mother of his pups should be respected.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Kynareth Deagon - January 17, 2021

He allows her to speak of her terms snd conditions uninterrupted. Keeping his auds forward to listen and nod as she goes. Her requests are not horrible or undoable, instead he finds them almost too easy. Especially as she even mentions that he can have lovers, but she demands to be the only wife. The only one he truly values, takes care of, and shares his inner most thoughts with.

He accepts.

So with a firm nod he smiles down to her. “Darling, that’s much too easy. I will never see anyone how I see you. Never.” He leans down to brush their cheeks together then wrap his head around her in a type of embrace.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Simmik - January 22, 2021

He not only accepted all of her terms, but he assured her that no one would ever mean to him what she meant to him—the words made her heart skip again. Her stomach tightened, and she leaned into the embrace that he offered. She felt powerful again; someone as dark and ruthless as Kynareth would never feel about anyone else the way he did about her.

It was easy to forget the things that plagued her thoughts when they had these moments. She could imagine their life and their children, but then a nagging feeling of guilt always resurfaced, reminding her that Mal was out there searching for her. By now he would definitely know she was missing; it made her heart ache to imagine him risking everything to find her. And if he came here, then what? She pulled back, her expression suddenly sad and worried as she looked up to search for his gaze. What do I do about Mal? she asked quietly. I'm sure he's out there looking for me—I want to stay here, but it hurts so much to imagine telling him that. She wished she could just turn her more difficult emotions off. Without guilt and empathy, she could be so much more—she would feel worthy of Ky's love, and she wouldn't be constantly sick over the inevitable meeting she would have with Mal. Everything would be so much easier. She could do as she pleased and not worry about how it affected those who would not escort her down the road of darkness and intoxicating strength.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Kynareth Deagon - January 27, 2021

Their moment of pure happiness continues as they embrace on another. Yet when she pulls back, another dark cloud of emotions swirling with her fiery eyes he knows she’s about to say something dreadful.

At the mention of Mal Kynareth wants to bark out a cruel fit of laughter. He does internally. Yet on the outside he doesn’t betray anything. He wants to spit in his face and cackle at him. He wants to tease the pretty boy alpha in cruel ways. Tease him about how Simmik is his now and he wants to make sure Mal knows it.

So finally Donovan decides to give her an answer. “It will not be easy, darling.” He hums softly down to her. “Yet it is something that will be inevitable. I know he means a lot to you. You’ll have to tell him how you feel. If he truly loves you, he will understand.” His words are deep. It’s something Donovan truly believes. If Mal truly does care for her, he won’t let his tainted view of the Saints to stop him from loving her.

Yet everything can’t be all rainbows and sunshine. “You must also be prepared for the worst though.” He says equally as soft and understanding. “If he allows his view of the Saints to taint his relationship with you, and you alone, then you must let him go. It will make you stronger in the end.” Then he adds as an afterthought. “I couldn’t give a rats ass if he likes me or not, but if he hates you because of me and the decisions you’ve made for me, then he doesn’t love you at all.” Though the words are harsh, his usually hawkish eyes are soft and forgiving, hoping she understands his point of view in the situation.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Simmik - January 27, 2021

As she often did, she studied his face while he considered her question. She wasn't sure how the subject of Mal would make him feel. Would he question her loyalty now that he knew how conflicted she was over her best friend and how he would respond when she told him she was never returning to the forest? She had never lied to Kynareth, though, and she wouldn't start now. If they were to be mates—husband and wife, then she should be able to tell him anything, and vice versa. And when it came down to it, she trusted Ky with her life, so she could trust him with this too, and to help her make her way through the murky waters that lay ahead of her.

She could read nothing on his face, which made her wonder if he was hiding some feeling from her. He had always been fairly open with showing her his emotions, so to see nothing was strange. The thought was momentarily forgotten when he began to speak. She knew his words to be true: it was inevitable, and if Mal loved her, then he would let her find her own way in life. But she knew he would think this way was the wrong way and that he needed to save her. But she didn't need saving. During the most difficult times in her life, there had never been anyone to save her, and it had taught her a very valuable lesson—only she was responsible for saving herself. She frowned, thinking deeply about what he said.

He continued as she silently considered things, her frown deepening as he told her to be prepared for the worst. She felt his next words in the center of her heart; they burned there and the heat spread outward, engulfing her heart and causing great pain in her chest. She might have to let him go. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she had known that as a truth, but she had refused to entertain the idea because it hurt too much. But now it was out in the open to be felt wholly. She tightened her jaw, her expression unreadable but her gaze swirling with confusion and anger. He will not be happy; I'm sure of that. I think he will try to get me to go back with him, no matter what I say. Something else Ky had said really stuck with her—that she would be stronger in the end. She needed to be stronger, especially if they were going to have children. But she also needed to be stronger for herself. She was tired of being weak. Kynareth wasn't weak; he made his decisions and dealt with whatever fallback resulted from them. She could do that too. Her gaze turned almost pleading then. If he comes here, then I want a chance to talk to him without the entire pack jumping on him, she said evenly. I need a chance to talk to him, and whether not he loves me enough to understand what I want, I don't want him to get hurt. But there was more to that. And an attack against him would likely bring a war to our home, Simmik pointed out. A war I'm not sure we're quite ready to fight yet. She sighed and nuzzled her face into the fur of his neck while she pressed her body as close to his as she could; she needed the comfort of his large, strong form against hers to ease the turmoil now swirling in her mind. Promise me that you'll let me talk to him first, now matter what, she spoke into his fur.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Kynareth Deagon - January 27, 2021

He can see the maelstrom of conflicted emotions swirling behind her sunset orange eyes and he does feel for her. Though he doesn’t care about Mal, he only cares about what happens because of Simmik.

So he nods, agreeing with her first statement. “He won’t be happy, that’s for sure.” He comments dryly.

Yet as she continues Donovan sighs into her as she leans against him. He knows she wants the opportunity to speak with him. If he does anything he will give her that opportunity. He knows how big of a step this is for her and he knows she wouldn’t turn on him now.

“Yes, darling, you will get to speak with him.” Kynareth promises against her. “I almost believe that he’s going to bring an army with him. No doubt that snarky coastal woman.” Comes his smooth voice, the desire to sneer comes to mind just thinking about the Siamese colored wolf. “Still, even if he does, we will not start a war with them. They aren’t the ones I have my eyes on anyhow.”

Then he pulls back to look at her. “You will do well, Simmik. You’ll do what is right. I trust and love you, darling, just remember that when you speak with him.” A small, but sweet smile tilts his lips slightly upward. His golden eyes so soft as he looks upon her.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Simmik - January 27, 2021

His acceptance of her request brought her some relief—quieted her anxious mind just a little. She wasn’t sure who the snarky coastal wolf might be, but he was right, Mal might very well show up here with friends. That situation seemed straight from her nightmares; to have to stand with Ky against Mal—she couldn’t bear the thought. That would be impossible. She would rather die than have to face that. She was going to try and stand for her decisions going forward, but she just didn’t think she had it in her to do anything against Mal. And if she were to have to choose between Kynareth and Mal, well she wouldn’t. It was that simple.

He hinted at a possible war with someone else, and it drew her interest. He never talked to her about these things before, and she wanted to be someone he could confide in, just as he had done for her.

His praise and loving words had warm contentment washing over her. I love you too, she answered softly, meeting his gaze and smiling a little. He was even more handsome when he looked at her that way and told her things like that. It made her heart skip as usual. It meant a lot that he believed she was capable of doing what needed to be done—even if she wasn’t so sure.

Her expression shifted, curiosity dancing in the fire of her eyes. Who are you considering war with? she asked him. There were a few packs she could think of, but she knew she didn’t know the whole story.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Kynareth Deagon - January 31, 2021

He knows he’s said the right thing and he’s smiles down to her. Preening when she offers an I love you back. His auds are flicked forward with intense interest when she asks who exactly they’re going to eat with. He chuckles, he can’t help but laugh. He’s so insanely excited to go through with it, Moonspear alliance or not, he would be the victor of their battle, it’s as simple as that.

“Oh, darling.” He hums, excitement obvious in his voice. Like he’s a kid taking about his favorite past times or hobbies. “Ursus. Not sure if I informed you, but we had a fragile alliance beforehand. It ended when Nyra went to apologize to Merrick’s Raven and her disrespectful child attacked her. She put him in his place and the rest of it got a bit out of hand.” He explains easily, as if he’s not bothered by it in the slightest. “They did try reasoning with us, which I can respect. They wanted Nyra’s head for what she did to their child and I spit in their face snd laughed. I would never give away a pack member as payment for their child attacking her — an ally.”

Then he laughs bitterly. “So we’re gonna kill ‘em.” He ends carelessly with a shrug of his shoulders. It’s needless to say he also plans on killing their pups as well. “So exciting is it not?” He asks with a wide grin and a malice in his eyes.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Simmik - February 03, 2021

She silently took in all the information he provided. She didn't think she had ever heard of this pack. It wasn't surprising, she only knew the ones who interacted with Neverwinter Forest aside from Sagtannet. Ky and the Saints seemed to have quite the history; they had been allied at one point but some disagreement put them on opposite sides, especially when they would only resolve things if they were given Nyra in return. She liked that he wouldn't give his pack up for his own gains—it made her trust him even more.

She smiled and shook her head a little. That brutal disregard for the life of others would have bothered her at one point, but now it only drew her into him more. The excitement on his face spurred her own. She nibbled on his jaw. You're handsome when you're plotting murder, she said with a playful raise of an eyebrow. I want to be with you, by your side. She looked away for a moment before searching for his gaze. I've...never killed anyone before, she admitted. But I want to help you make them pay for their disrespect. The idea made her heart skip—standing next to him and helping him wield his power and strength.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Kynareth Deagon - February 06, 2021

His excited eyes flick over the plains of her pale face. To those fiery sunset orbs to the perfect curve of her smile. His own smirk meeting her own as she nibbles of his jaw. A shiver wracks his body at the sensation, unexpected but not unwelcome. A laugh bubbles up from his sternum as he joking nuzzles into her more, his body brushing against hers.

“Oh, you know not to boast my ego, darling.” He purrs to her first words. Teeth gleaming in a lopsided smirk, shining canines so used to spilling blood bite softly onto her ear.

Yet he only becomes a bit more serious after that and he nods to her. “I’d love nothing more for than you to be there with me. For me to witness your first kill would be a gift, my love.” The brindle wolf moves to look down at her, love obvious in his golden orbs. His pupils are blown with adoration, the slim gold rim falling off into an edge of black.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Simmik - February 16, 2021

The nibble to her ear could be felt in her chest and her stomach, and then lower. She laughed softly at his words. I can't help it, she murmured, nibbling his jaw again. You make it so easy.

His next words had her lifting her gaze to meet his, and what she saw on his face and in his eyes made her chest tighten and her insides heat. She swallowed and released a soft, shaky breath through barely open lips. It's a gift that is easy to give to you, she whispered, nibbling slowly from his jaw to where it met his neck. And if you keep looking at me like that, I'm going to have to give you a different kind of gift, she told him, moving her nibbles down his neck, applying more pressure and then soothing the area with her soft tongue. She could barely contain herself. The love she had seen in his gaze filled her to the point of explosion—or so it felt that way.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Kynareth Deagon - February 23, 2021

He’s smiling like the damn Cheshire Cat. All gleaming teeth and confidence in his smile as she showers him in attention. He feels as if he might drop off the face of the planet when his pale lover gazed back up to him. She whispers her promise — a promise to let him witness her first kill. Boy, are they fucked up. Normal couples want to witness normal shit. Not killing others, but they’ve never been normal and neither has their relationship. It’s beautiful in its own type of way and Kyn wouldn’t change it now, it’s too late.

So his smile goes from cocky to sweet as he meets her gaze. “Perfect, darling.” He hums until he’s laughing at her next words.

He crowds her space more and more chuckling lowly. “Now, now, don’t stop there.” He whispers against her neck and bites softly, trying to convince her further. “You can still give me that gift if you want.” He tries to be smooth as he bites his way up her neck, along her jaw, and laps softly at her muzzle. The lightest of smirks still on his face as half lidded eyes look down at her lovingly. He’s in fuckin love and it’s so horribly obvious just by the way he watches her.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Simmik - February 24, 2021

He pressed impossibly closer, and she grinned at his words—he liked what she was doing, and that alone sent a shiver of excitement down her spine. And when he suggested that she could still give him the other kind of gift she had mentioned, she couldn't help the playful, happy laughter that rumbled softly from her chest. I always want to, she told him, reveling in the affection he was lavishing her with. She always wanted him and always had. That had never changed, even when she was so mad at him she could have killed him where he stood.

She nuzzled under his chin before brushing her nose through his fur to settle near his jaw where she nipped even harder. It is also a gift that is easy to give you, she whispered against his fur. Her affection was becoming more demanding, her intent clear that she had no intention of denying him what he wanted.

RE: Quiet when I'm coming home - Kynareth Deagon - April 07, 2021

Kyn continues mouthing along her beautifully pale fur. He always loves looking at her elegant from and lovely face. He swears her eyes could kill him and he wouldn’t be surprised if one day they did. Still, Donovan is horribly whipped and he’d happily stay so. Yet, today it seems his amazing wife wants to spoil him a bit, not that she doesn’t always spoil him. Either way, he can see the hint she’s giving him and he carries on with their little game like it’s second nature to him.

When she’s humming those sweet words he hums softly against her. “Simmik, you’re going to make a guy blush.” He purrs humorously. Offering a little bite to the cartilage of her ear.

Her touches get much more demanding and he feels his body heat up hotter than the damned sun. She always seems to make him this way no matter how many times he looks at her, no matter how many times he touches her, he always has the same reaction. He supposes this is what being in love is like and he’d fight to the bitter end to keep it.

It is also a gift that is easy to give you, She purrs and Kyn groans against her. “I couldn’t agree more.” He says with a borderline needy twinge in his voice.