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Wheeling Gull Isle certain to tell you, confusion has its cost - Printable Version

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certain to tell you, confusion has its cost - Maegi - May 05, 2021

Her life was filled with children, and yet, Maegi remained inescapably and utterly lonely.

Mou was a comfort, when he was around. But as pack numbers thinned, he had to work harder and harder to provide for them. All of her moments away from the pups were spent foraging alone. And the island, which had once been such a comfort, felt more like it really was—an inconsequential speck of land upon an endless ocean.

Jakoul had vanished; others, too. The Empress Hua had, seemingly, left her post, though Aiolos still commanded—he really was the only hope she had left for this place. And Niamh and two children lay dead and cold beneath the soil just outside the den.

She rested her head on her forepaws, feeling a sort of annoyance at the children pulling at her teats that was unlike her. . .at least, in litters past. Four pups were a lot; they drained her, body and mind and soul, every moment grasping for a nipple or her attention. A nipple she could give, albeit chapped and sore. Her attention? Rapidly dwindling.

Maegi closed her eyes, conjuring the quiet darkness of Onyx Hollow up before her. But the waves still crashed, the gulls still screamed, and she could not fully rid herself of the prison she had built for herself here.


RE: certain to tell you, confusion has its cost - Vesper - May 13, 2021

for my own reference, because puppies grow like weeds... vesper is 6 weeks in this thread, and about to speak her first ever word!! @Blueberry is 3 weeks, and likely teething/will start to stand soon— i'm going to assume that she hasn't yet.

for her part, vesper was less and less interested in milk; she didn't want to drink, she wanted to bite. a primal urge to soothe and distract from sore gums. it had taken only a small nip (of the nip) for mother to harshly correct that behavior some weeks ago as her milk teeth had first begun to come in, and now vesper only returned to her mother's breast when her hunger grew great enough during mou's patrols of the territory.

she spent more time awake, now, as did her littermates. they play fought often, and vesper often put herself between them and their smallest sibling, who couldn't stand like the rest of them. she couldn't describe her feelings yet, but she felt an anxiety and concern when it came to blueberry— something about her didn't seem quite right to vesper, who assumed they were all the same. it was her tiny mission to help her sister, to encourage her and help her learn the skills that came naturally to the rest of them (and, of course, would in time come naturally to blueberry).

but for now, everyone appeared to be sleeping— even mother— and vesper extracted herself carefully from the pile to search for something to chew on. once, she might have chosen a sibling, but she learned from experience that that would wake them and she knew if she found some other treasure, it would cause a clamoring and war to steal it from her. she scooted up against a wall of the den to begin chewing on an exposed root, eyes dolefully watching the light of the entrance. there were so many interesting smells coming from that direction, and she weighed her desire to chew against the desire to test her boundaries.


RE: certain to tell you, confusion has its cost - Maegi - May 14, 2021

Her annoyance only ratcheted up as Venninne removed herself from the others, wandering near the mouth of the den. Don't, she mouthed, but no sound emerged—just a tiny burst of air. She was exhausted, and she stretched out her neck, wondering if she could reach the girl without having to move the rest of her body. . .but to no avail. The eldest child was too far away.

Stay in the den, Maegi managed to whisper, watching Venninne with gimlet eyes. Chewing, chewing—Jaes, babies were so mouthy, weren't they? Biting and suckling on anything they could find. So tactile, so curious.

Her icy mood began to melt, albeit slowly, at the sight of the growing girl: still baby-pudgy, but far from the blind-deaf lump of flesh she'd been at birth.

Every day of their life was a blessing. Every day they remained alive, a gift.

What've you got there, Ven? she asked gently, raising her brows.


RE: certain to tell you, confusion has its cost - Vesper - May 19, 2021

"stay in the den," her puppy-blue eyes shifted away from the den's entrance to consider her mother, chewing the exposed root all the while. she loosed a tiny, sharp exhale of frustration, but remained snug against the wall. father was not bound by these laws, and there was something beyond the light that filtered into the den. she had no way to know that her mother desired the same freedom, bound to this place by the quickly growing blueberry, even as the others grew more and more restless by the day.

vesper didn't quite understand the question, not in the same way she understood the tone of stay. perhaps mother meant: why?

da, she stopped her chewing and tried to replicate the word associated with mou. she watche maegi earnestly, then repeated what mother always said when he left the den: bye? perhaps an unfortunate sequence of words, given vesper's true heritage, but for the pup she only meant: father leaves, can i? in her limited vocabulary.


RE: certain to tell you, confusion has its cost - Maegi - May 19, 2021

Maegi smiled, finally, albeit with a sigh. Yes, Da went bye, she confirmed, eyes flickering toward the opening to the den. Not forever, though. Jaes willing. He'll be back later. He's getting us food.

The thought of food made her stomach rumble; she winced, hoping the ominous gurgling along her abdomen didn't wake the other children. She was like a bottomless pit, constantly feasting, just as greedy as her children. Hopefully Mou would be back soon, grub in tow. . .

You hungry? Maegi asked, remembering how the girl had gnawed upon the root. At least Venninne was starting to wean herself off the teat—she couldn't say the same for Blueberry, and even the other two still suckled on occasion. Unfortunately, she had nothing else to offer her daughter.


RE: certain to tell you, confusion has its cost - Vesper - May 19, 2021

her ears perked up at "yes," but the child deflated quickly when it was not the permission she was really asking for. as mother continued to speak, vesper furrowed her brows in concentration, trying to pick out each word as well as understand the full meaning. went bye, back food. she exhaled in small frustration, wondering if it was worth asking again, but she didn't have the capacity to speak more words than the two she already had to better convey her meaning.

she began chewing again, the pressure on her gums and growing molars relieving some of the ache with... a different ache, that was more pleasurable somehow.

hungry? vesper was, but not so much that she wanted to wrestle her way into the pile to find a teat— not yet, anyway. she shook her head, eyes moving back to the den's entrance. da, she repeated around the root.


RE: certain to tell you, confusion has its cost - Maegi - May 23, 2021

The girl was insistent. He'll be back, she repeated, knowing even that she said it that the rebuttal was futile. So often, adults and children were on completely different trains of thought; the language barrier between them was still strong enough to stymie conversation. With food. Mmm.

She smacked her lips in illustration, feeling ridiculous as she did so. Maegi giggled, ducking her head for an instant before swinging it round to check on the others. All dozing, except for Ven. There was always one.

Her lips pursed in thought, and she began to slowly detach herself from the others, hoping she didn't disturb them in the process. We can go outside, Maegi whispered, staring hard at Venninne, if you stay close to me. Okay? You have to stay close to me.

Army-crawling, she wriggled inch by inch until she reached the mouth of the den. A huge yawn from Prevost almost brought her back, but soon her daughter subsided into slumber, and the coast was clear once more. She nodded toward the other older girl, giving her permission.

You have to stay close to me, she reiterated, then sprawled her upper body into the open air, blinking at the sudden influx of light.


RE: certain to tell you, confusion has its cost - Vesper - June 23, 2021

last post. <3

okay, she repeated in a stage whisper, moving to her feet with her entire body wagging in anticipation. she didn't entirely understand what okay meant yet, but her mother had said it over and over, and venninne understood "we... go outside. stay close." anything, if it meant she could see what was on the other side of the light!

she followed close at her mothers feet, and as they left the entrance, the small child froze. overwhelmed by new sights, smells, and sounds— she remained there for a time, slowly sinking to sit, taking it all in with wide eyes, twitching ears, and quivering nose. maegi gave her time, taking the opportunity to stretch her legs, before encouraging the young child to follow her further from the den, sharing information about this new world in hushed tones.

in the end, it wasn't difficult to corral venninne back to the den; she was exhausted from this short excursion and eager for a break from the new sensations. when they returned, still careful not to wake the others, the child nestled close to her mothers breast and fell into a deep, contented slumber filled with vivid dreams.