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+--- Thread: Alpine Lake The sun it doesn’t rise in the morning (/showthread.php?tid=51082)
The sun it doesn’t rise in the morning - Fennec - May 04, 2022
The longer they traveled, the emptier Fennec became. She felt like she was slowly unraveling, coming apart at the seams and losing more and more pieces of herself as she did. Despite knowing that it was her fault, she couldn't seem to stop, and resignation had settled on her with its full numbing weight.
No one cared. Fig was the only one who tried and even he didn't get it.
As she skirted the mountain ledge, she wondered what it would be like to fall from it. She knew that she never could, but for maybe the first time, she let her mind wander down that road. Would they even notice? If they did, how long would it take for them to go on like it never happened? The small, spiteful voice that had occupied her mind this past while was not optimistic. And somehow, the angry and incredibly lonely feeling this guess brought made her feel better. As if her need to burn everything around her would ever stop at herself.
Maybe it was time to let Fig go too. More and more she wanted nothing more than to just disappear completely.
And why shouldn't she?
Fennec thought about it as she traced her way down the mountain slope. If she did, she'd be on her own for real. There wouldn't be any bail outs this time. There was a good chance she'd fail miserably, just like last time - but fuck. Maybe that's just how things should be.
The more she thought about it, the more Fennec liked it. The thought of joining any pack, of trying again, made her skin. crawl. She was done with it. There was no way her brother would just let her leave without following. But she had lost him before; she could lose him again. The thought made her feel incredibly guilty, but in spite of that, she held onto it. Perhaps then she could finally move forward.