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Big Salmon Lake i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Printable Version

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i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Caracal - May 27, 2022

Wasn’t there another burned forest somewhere around here? He knew he should go home, yet Caracal could not leave this mystery unsolved. He trotted south, roving east and then following the riverbank. His surroundings jogged his memory and he arrived in The Heartwood with a smug smile, then promptly plopped down to have a nap.

He woke with a bit of a start sometime later, the remnants of a dream still fizzling in his sleepy brain and sending jolts of molten heat through him. He flushed with embarrassment when the details of the dream replayed, including several intimate moments with his new pal, @Veteran. His stomach flipped and kicked, blushing scarlet right along with the rest of him as he rolled onto his feet with a grunt.

Shoving the mental images and their accompanying sense of panic aside, Caracal poured all his energy and focus into an abrupt run. He paid very little attention to where he was going as he rocketed due south along the stream leading toward Big Salmon Lake visible in the distance.

Maybe @Bridget? :eyes:



RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Bridget - May 27, 2022

being very vague about the time on this! With ongoing threads. I'll give it a bit before I reply again too, just to accommodate plot things goin on rn

Every day, Bridget took extended walks around the territory and even, most days, into surrounding territories. It was a habit from Blackwater that she continued religiously. She needed to up her endurance, strengthen her stride, and get to the point where running felt as natural as it had before. She knew intrinsically that it was going to take time but still chomped at the bit regardless. She was impatient to get results, regardless of how far she'd already come.

Today she had invited @Teya along. Sorana was older and Reyes was a keen watcher of her, and ever since he'd interrupted her visit Bridget hadn't felt comfortable or welcome near the pup. She'd hoped her friend would agree to take some air so that they could catch up more without the specter of her mate's return hanging over Bridget's head.

Whether or not she agreed, the medic's travel took her towards the lake. It wasn't all that hot of a day but she wanted to look for water plants while she was here to round out her store. (With all of the injured wolves she was coming across lately, who knew what she'd need next?). She stepped gingerly into the shallows of the lake, a shiver running down her spine as the water hit her legs. I can't wait until summer sets in for good. The back and forth of spring was wearing thin.


RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Caracal - May 27, 2022

He pumped his legs as hard as he could, his heart pounding in his chest as he tried to outrun his own mind. Of course, that was impossible. Just like his recent humiliation at the caldera, he couldn’t just shake off his thoughts and feelings.

His stomach twisted when he abruptly realized how close he was to that particular danger zone. Caracal dug his heels into the ground, braking to an abrupt halt. He stood there, completely out of breath and sucking in great lungfuls of air. A familiar scent threaded into his nose almost immediately.

His panic about his dream was greater than his aversion to his older embarrassment. And, suddenly keen to prove something to himself, Caracal resumed his gallop. He followed the scent closer to the lake and ignored the way his heart felt like it might burst as he spotted Bridget and raced toward her.

I like you, he practically shouted at her, though his breathlessness took the punch out of the exclamation. I like girls.


RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Teya - May 27, 2022

it was easier to wake up in the morning and tell herself that reyes no longer loved her than it was to confront him again. she had come in her naked emotions to him and he had dissolved them further in his reaction. teya could not get the sound of her own sobbing out of her head, how she had cried next to him and her mate, her husband, had done nothing.
and so she left him that day to accompany bridget. she had not offered a time that she would be back; her address of him had been cursory at best. she'd kissed @Sorana between her downy ears and promised a fishtail on her return.
teya had not been one for talking during their walk. the raven felt that a particular bridge had been burned with the cardinal. the physician's continued presence in her life told her that all was well, after a fashion, but it deterred the woman from bringing reyes to bridget again.
surely it was clear upon her face, a clear pain beneath the tiredness she had come to accept as part of parenthood. she did tell bridget of her intentions to visit caracal and try to mend things, at very least offer neutral-territory visits to the boy if he decided he wanted to know his sister. and she told sorana about caracal, talking aloud and calling him her brother. reyes had no say in that.
still she was unprepared to actually see him again so soon, and as the yearling plunged toward them, teya froze and held back, all her carefully rehearsed words an escape.



RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Bridget - May 27, 2022

Bridget had learned a long time ago, in their friendship, that trying to draw information out of Teya she didn't want to share rarely ended well. She was determined instead to help the other woman forget her worries for a while. She hadn't quite come up with a plan of attack for that when Caracal abruptly shattered the quiet. She jumped, startled, then let out a full laugh.

No kidding!? I hope it doesn't ruin your day too much, but I like girls too. It was one of the more bizzare greetings she'd gotten but still probably wasn't the worst. He was a sweetheart, but there was no way she was letting him get his hopes up.

I was meaning to come see you, though, till I realized there was a mountain range between us. I'm really sorry about last time. That was a dumb move on my part, and you didn't deserve to get caught up in the crossfire there. She was more genuine relaying this apology. She one hundred percent felt Reyes owed a bigger one, but she somehow sensed none was likely to come from that direction. This was probably as good as it was going to get.


RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Caracal - May 28, 2022

A fresh wave of panic seized him as soon as the words left his mouth. Why had he gone and said that?! He flushed hot and cold, grappling with his next move. The only thing that stopped him from turning and bolting again was Bridget’s distracting remark.

What? No, I mean—like, romantically, he choked out right before noticing Teya just a few yards behind Bridget.

His gay panic quickly turned into something else, something much worse. Caracal felt like he couldn’t breathe, his ears ringing as Bridget continued talking, apologizing for the very memory that was sending him spiraling. His chest heaved as he wished he could just disappear into the earth or something.


RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Teya - May 30, 2022

bridget the mediator, bridget the saint; she trimmed the gap between them all and began to speak to caracal in a tone that teya could hear, though she could not make out the words. 
was he freezing? he wasn't talking; he was staring toward her and through her in a way that speared trepidation through teya. her ears splayed and she whined a quiet note that couldn't carry.
had reyes already fucked up reconcillation for them here too? he wasn't even here — teya shoved down the dangerous spike of resentment. sorana didn't need that. it was all about her. that's why the little violet was here at all.
she approached a hesitant step and no more. "caracal," she called weakly.



RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Bridget - May 30, 2022

Is there any other way to like them? she thought immediately, but the time for jokes had passed. Bridget could clearly see that her apology was having the opposite effect than she had hoped and she let it drop. Caracal was either embarrassed or upset, and either way he looked like he was about to jump out of his skin again.

She didn't want him to run and she heard Teya entreat him from behind her. Bridget took a small breath, then quickly switched tactics. If he didn't want to talk about that then maybe they could at least spend some time here fixing things in another way.

Hey. We were actually thinking of doing some fishing here. Any chance you would be able to help? The more we have, the better our odds of catching at least something. She cheerfully blazed past as if she'd never even brought up the former, tactfully ignoring his face and tension in the process. Now wasn't the time to get into it or ask questions - if she pushed it, he'd be gone.


RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Caracal - May 30, 2022

Teya said his name and his frantic gaze flicked to her, though he did not react otherwise. His eyes promptly swung back to Bridget when she brought up fishing, inviting him to lend a hand to better their odds.

Mindlessly, he blurted, I don’t—I don’t know how to fish. He hadn’t even realized what Bridget was doing, though it had the desired effect: something inside him unclenched and the panic began to subside. And I don’t— He cut off, not entirely sure what he’d meant to say.

Slowly regaining control of himself, Caracal looked between the two women for a moment, jaw clenching. He exhaled, dropping his eyes. When he looked up again, Bridget’s apology replayed in his mind. His toes curled in the dirt. He so badly wanted to push all thought of it aside, like the last time Reyes had attacked him.

Instead, Caracal’s mouth spurted more verbal diarrhea. It’s not your fault my dad is a piece of shit.


RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Teya - May 31, 2022

teya crept closer. bridget was talking again, and then caracal. she didn't hear any of it, she scarcely looked toward the cardinal. all she saw was the kid and all she remembered was what had happened. his harsh words brought relief, because they were warranted and for once it wasn't teya dancing around the sentiment.
she didn't fully agree, because she loved reyes.
but she wasn't about to argue.
"i not here for him," she said with a hoarse ginger slant to her voice. she looked toward bridget now as if to reassure herself, then back to caracal. "i here for you and your relationship with sorana. she your sister. and you have right to see her. but only if you want. i bring her out of brecheliant when she older, meet you."



RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Bridget - May 31, 2022

She would have been open to teaching him and was about to suggest it, but Caracal dropped a revelation of his own instead. Bridget could maybe get a sense of what he was feeling from what happened, but there was no way she was in a position to confirm or deny the claim. Teya was his mate, Caracal was his son, and she was just some rando who had taken a short trip with him.

There was a little more of that doubt now. She wondered if it was worse to interfere or to keep her opinions to herself. Any other friend and Bridget would have had no issues telling her she might deserve better - especially when she had an inkling that Teya needed to hear it. Was that why she fell so quickly?

Bridget shut up though and let Teya grab control of the conversation. Her ears flicked quietly when she heard out of Brecheliant, but while she found it interesting, she didn't comment. You're the Raven here, Teya. He doesn't have the right to decide who comes into pack lands. The implication didn't sit well.


RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Caracal - May 31, 2022

His jaw tightened after the words left his mouth. He hadn’t intended to say that and risk offending the two women in front of him. But he couldn’t quite bring himself to feel apologetic or regretful. Caracal wouldn’t take them back.

Teya wanted him to play a part in Sorana’s life. There was a plaintive look in his eye as he peered at his dad’s wife. Yes, he wanted to know his little sister too. Part of him wanted to protect her from their father. But much more powerful was his desire to get the hell away from here.

Maybe, he said, noncommital despite his yearning, then quickly added, I have to go.

Caracal began to turn, ready to flee the area yet again. He would have to pay more attention next time he came anywhere near the caldera, so he could avoid this entire situation and all the terrible emotions it awoke inside of him. He would not be back to meet his sister, he realized. He wanted to avoid anything that reminded him of Reyes.

This time, he had the presence of mind to glance over his shoulder, at Bridget in particular. She was, unfortunately, collateral damage. He apologized with his eyes, then tore his eyes away to face forward. He ran.


RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Teya - May 31, 2022

bridget was silent. caracal signalled no. as he turned away her eyes filled with tears and she dragged her eyes toward the cardinal. teya managed to mouth a thank you before she really disintegrated.
she turned back to the lake, shoulders rigid. reyes had really destroyed this. and what was more, he saw no fucking reason he needed to say anything.
she couldn't bear anything right now, and desperately hoped that bridget wouldn't speak. not now. walk away, go after him, anything besides stay here and watch her fall into a pathetic mess.



RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Bridget - May 31, 2022

Bridget watched with disappointed acceptance as Caracal turned and ran. She didn't like it, and it wasn't what she'd have done, but it was his father. He had to decide for himself. Her own instinct would have been closer to confrontation and a demand of an apology in person, but she could see where that might turn out a little.... less than stellar.

Teya's response to it seemed a little out of hand though. Bridget hadn't realized she wanted this so badly.

Shit. It didn't matter that she turned away, Bridget was coming up beside her and leaning in either way. She was a hugger - and Teya definitely seemed to need one, for whatever reason. It was unfortunate, but was it really that big of a deal if Caracal didn't want to be around his dad? Kind of unfortunate that Sorana was caught up in that, but she had a pack around her - and plenty of family with that.

Not great, but at least he knows. Maybe he'll come around. It could have been worse. Teya had opened a door for him here that was otherwise shut. That was something.


RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Teya - June 02, 2022

teya nodded, still too overcome to speak. bridget was so welcome, more than welcome, really. for what felt like a long time they only stood there. she allowed herself to lay cheek against the cardinal's shoulder, but did not let herself stay for as long as she wanted.
"maybe he will," teya answered at last with no real hope in her voice. anger rose. it shouldn't be her here, it should have been reyes. in fact, her mate should have tried to fix that fuckup the same day it had happened.
but he hadn't. and that was that.
"i fish with you," she invited, wiping tears from her eyes. "something to do before we go back."



RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Bridget - June 02, 2022

She leaned quietly and companionably while Teya sorted through the emotional moment. Bridget didn't need to understand the full reasoning behind it to know that she needed to feel it regardless. She was practiced enough with these kinds of situations to understand there was more going on than met the eye, and a part of her wondered what would happen if she pulled Reyes and Teya together and spoke to them both.

A disaster, probably.

Her counselor brain made it extremely hard for her to not want to access, and help fix, whatever lay beneath the surface. It would be better for everyone involved, though, if she stuck to her initial plan.

Absolutely. Bridget recentered her weight and turned slightly, inspecting the water. She took a few steps, idly, as if giving room for fishing. I don't remember who won last time, actually. Are you defending your honor or am I? Then, with a slightly impish grin, she raised her forepaw and flicked a small amount of water in Teya's direction.


RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Teya - June 02, 2022

teya managed a laugh. "we start over?" she suggested, killing the sniffle in her voice with a long sigh. she fell to prowling at the edge of the water, inventorying the tracks of lakefowl and otters and even the occassional snake, leaving the distinct imprint of scales in the soft mud.
a splash along the surface drew her attention.
teya motioned toward it. "bluegill." not a large fish, but a pair of them would be more than enough for a meal. she could even take some of the topskin home for sorana.
it was a plan, and teya devoted herself to it, trying not to examine how thinking of her daughter now brought reyes to mind.



RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Bridget - June 02, 2022

we can wrap this or continue with the fishing as long as you like <333

Teya didn't return fire but she did smile and seem to brighten a bit. Bridget laughed and nodded, moving aside to find her own place to fish from. It probably wasn't the best idea to stir up the water too much anyway - she'd be doing enough of that herself. She used to be able to move smoothly through the water but, with her missing leg, the compensation meant she had to hop in a way that caused a stir no matter how much she tried to stop it.

She watched Teya circle from her periphery as she found a spot to stake out instead. She figured if she picked a spot by the reeds, she might be able to catch something that was coming to feed off the roots unawares.

bluegill. If you spot a couple, maybe we could pin them between us. She returned quietly. It killed the whole competition angle but Bridget wasn't feeling a contest today anyway, despite the joke. Teya could certainly catch one on her own but if she managed to scare a second or third in Bridget's direction, the fish likely wouldn't realize the trouble until she was practically on top of it.


RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Teya - June 03, 2022

maybe fade w ur next post? that way she gets her fishing specialty points lol <3

bridget was so good.
she did not demand, she did not order, she did not expect, she did not question. more and more teya wanted to lean into their friendship and the security it offered — but she decided to keep herself at bay. whether it was a touch of masochism or something that teya truly felt warranted, the two tendrils wound together.
if the cardinal wanted more, she no longer asked for it. and the raven was unsure she could even begin to give it.
they hunted in the water. she channeled anger into fishing. her jaws flashed once, landing a single fish. the rest of the shoal darted toward the other woman. teya came up from the water, dripping, and looked quietly over toward her companion.



RE: i had to burn everything that i was just to come back like a phoenix - Bridget - June 03, 2022

Bridget kept her eyes trained on the water carefully. There wasn't much space for talking while they were trying to coax fish to swim nearby. Even if there was, she didn't have much to say. Something told her that the activity and distraction would do more for both of them anyway.

Nothing came near until Teya scared a few her way. Bridget lunged forward with a snap and managed to close her jaws around one, but overbalanced herself in the process. She wound up dunked underneath and had to flail a bit to correct herself. She came up sputtering with laughter around the fish clenched in her teeth. Glancing back at Teya, finally, she made her way to shore. Time to dry off and take care of this one - maybe if there was time they could even draw a few more to take back with them.