Wolf RPG
Dragoncrest Cliffs But I’m still tired of sleeping with the light on - Printable Version

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But I’m still tired of sleeping with the light on - RIP Bronco - June 21, 2022

He’d left his encounter with the pale woman more or less shocked into silence. It’d been easy- too easy, to give in. And he was left feeling disenchanted, empty. He was too numb to feel ashamed or exhilarated by the whole experience. And overnight, as he travelled, the scent of her drifted from his pelt, replaced with the soft musk of pine and salty brine as he neared the borders of the Sapphique Pack. 

He’d visited along the beach before, but this time he approached from inland, skirting the Rise where another pack was established. There was a fragrant purple flower, sea lavender, that was relaxing, soothing. Being mindful of the borders, he did as the leader had instructed him the last time he’d travelled by. He called out for @Meerkat hoping to see his sister again, and hear about her first batch of children.


RE: But I’m still tired of sleeping with the light on - Meerkat - June 21, 2022

Even after all this time, she immediately recognized the voice calling her by name. Meerkat raised her head from the brook, jowls dripping as she glanced over her shoulder in the direction of the borders, a dozen emotions welling up inside her all at once.

Although she wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about this reunion, she decided to heed the call. When she came close enough to see his familiar figure in the distance, Meerkat paused, her throat feeling tight. They had been so close back in the day, though that era was long gone.

He was practically a stranger, now. She walked slowly toward him, feeling her heart squeeze a little as she took in his appearance. He looked more haggard than she remembered. Despite her misgivings, she frowned in concern, eyes flitting over his frame before finally catching his gaze.

Hi, she said quietly.


RE: But I’m still tired of sleeping with the light on - RIP Bronco - June 21, 2022

He tried to recall the last time he’d seen her. Last he knew, she’d been heavily infatuated with…Atlas? The time that had passed since that part of his life had absolutely flown. For him, things felt simultaneously, wildly different- and yet other things he felt hadn’t changed at all. 

He would always have a deep affinity for his siblings, no matter where they went, how far they went, and how much time passed between their meetings. It had been so hard to learn, first with Nellie, to let his siblings go and lead their own lives, and simply trust that they would be alright- and that they may or may not come back. 

If anything, the absence and distance intensified how eager he felt to see them again. When he caught sight of Meerkat, his eagerness showed in the excited patter of his feet. He wanted to hound toward her, but feared and respected the wrath of the powerful women he knew that ran the pack. His tail waved so far from side to side that the tip of it tickled his belly on the sides. 

But the emotion that won the battle of her features wasn’t relief or joy- it was wariness and concern. Fearful anxiety pressed a feverish thought into his mind- after all, look at her! She wasn’t running to him, or bouncing, or yelling gleefully…The greeting he got wasn’t even how he’d seen Meerkat greet strangers before. She looked uncomfortable, being greeted by surprise like this. But that couldn’t be it, could it? Maybe she was just so concerned because these scars were new to her….

Or maybe Fennec said something.

The thought made him very uncomfortable.

His tail waved, but his posture was apologetic, wilted. ”Meerk,” He greeted her. He wished she’d break free from whatever kept her so distant and reserved. Maybe it was a bad time. ”Sorry to surprise you…I came through here about…A month ago, or a bit more- an’ was hopin’ to see you when your leader said you lived here but she said you were pregnant so I…Waited a bit- I’m sorry if it’s a bad time, I can come back another day if it works better for you, I just…Wanted to see you again, see how you’re doin’?” his voice grew softer with each word he spoke, as though to make it easier for him to be sent away. It broke his heart to realize that he’d missed seeing so much of her adult life. She’d gone and grown up without him.


RE: But I’m still tired of sleeping with the light on - Stingray - June 21, 2022

He was way out of bounds, but Mr. Bubbles was with him, so it couldn't be that bad. Right?

Chill oooout, matey, drawled the pink turtle striding boldly at his side. Stingray tried to match his gait, but there was a faltering quality to his steps that said he knew he was doing a Bad Thing™. It was fun at first to sneak away from the rendezvous now that ma and da weren't constantly around to keep tabs. There was so much to see, and Ray wanted to see it all! But now he was so far from it, he couldn't see or hear his siblings anymore. He didn't even really know how to get back.

Mr. Bubbles knew how, but the turtle refused to turn around and lead Ray home, so all he could do was press on. Otherwise, he worried his friend would leave him behind. Chill, the turtle repeated, giving his bear tail a little wiggle. I promise we'll be back before anyone sees.

When Mr. Bubbles fell silent, Ray became aware that his was not the only voice. He came to a screeching halt. Should he run forward, find the adult, and seek help getting home? Or should he run away so no one could tell his parents they had seen him? He would have a good hide tanning in store if that happened...

The voice wasn't familiar, so Stingray took his chances. There was a possibility this guy had no idea who he or his parents were, but would be able to help without tattling on him. Mr. Bubbles was still strolling along, seemingly unconcerned, but he faded from view when Stingray revealed himself to the dude on the borders.

He was about to appeal to Bronco for help, but then his heart crashed into his belly and his jaw hit the floor when he saw ma standing there. Oh, he was in big, big trouble. If it was possible for colour to drain from a wolf's body like blood from a face, Ray would be a shade of sickly white. Like a ghost. Which is exactly what he was going to be when his ma got her paws on him.

Without thinking much about it, Ray sucked in a panicked breath and yelled, MR. BUBBLES MADE ME DO IT!


RE: But I’m still tired of sleeping with the light on - Meerkat - June 22, 2022

Bronco made it through his faltering speech, the look on his face combined with his soft voice tugging at her heartstrings. I miss you, she thought, drawing in a breath. The revelation of his relationship with Fennec had caused her quite a lot of grief, though even now, Meerkat couldn’t really explain it, even to herself.

Before she could think of how to reply, a small shout made her flinch. Her eyes cut sideways to see her son approaching the borders. Despite how much Meerkat championed her children’s independence, her heart leaped into her throat when she saw Ray here. His disobedience was a secondary concern, his safety the first.

She doubted Bronco posed a threat, though she nonetheless moved swiftly toward her son, putting her body between him, the borderline and, by proxy, her elder brother. Meerkat gave her son a look of reproof, though its edge was softened by the strain in her eyes. Maybe his uncle wasn’t dangerous, but the border was no place for a lone, meandering puppy.

Stingray Sveijarn-Corten, she said, voice soft but stern, what do you think you’re doing here? You know better than to leave the beach without an escort. She let out a breath. I want you to stay right beside me, young man, and do exactly as you’re told. Come.

Steadying herself with another breath, Meerkat glanced at Bronco and began to walk back toward him. They may have drifted, yet she reminded herself he would never dream of hurting her or her children. All the same, her eyes flickered apprehensively between brother and son. She suddenly felt like she understood her own mother’s overbearingness a little bit better.

Bronco, this is my eldest son, Stingray. His brother, Swordfish, and sister, Vixen, are back at the rendezvous site, where they should be, Meerkat said, hoping the other two hadn’t followed their wayward brother’s example. Ray, this is your Uncle Bronco. He was just going to tell me what he’s been up to lately when you interrupted, she finished, shooting Ray one last stern look before she caught Bronco’s eye.


RE: But I’m still tired of sleeping with the light on - RIP Bronco - June 22, 2022

Mr. Bubbles?

He flinched lightly at the sudden, loud interruption, but being a fairly child-friendly wolf, Bronco’s expression quickly turned to one of confused amusement. He would’ve given the kid a crooked grin had his mother not stepped between them, and then uttered a string of words that served both as an introduction to the child and to Meerkat’s parenting style. 

She’d gone the full name route. Bronco pursed his lips together to keep himself from grinning, but his brows raised and his eyes squinted in sympathy with the child. Getting the full name was always horrifying. Of course, he too disapproved of youngsters wandering where they shouldn’t go- but Bronco was an uncle now; which meant he should also be the fun uncle. 

He pointedly avoided eye contact with the kid while he was chastised, so that he was at least establishing a “hey, do what your Mom says” sort of air, before he gave Stingray a glance over Meerkat’s shoulder to give him a wink when his Mom wasn’t looking. 

So when Meerkat did look at him, his eyebrows were still raised, and his lips pursed in a way that showed how impressed he was with the Mom-voice she’d just used. He smiled. She was new to being a Mom, but she had great instincts. It was tough, finding the little grey area where respect lived, between the poles of overbearing and underattentive. 

Stinkray?” He asked, pulling a face, trying to lighten the situation. ”C’mon Meerk, the little dude doesn’t look too stinky to me. He said. ”You tell me, Ray, who’s the stinky one? There’s always a stinky one. Is it you, Swordfish or Vixen that’s the stinker?” He egged, hoping the kid might take the bait. He leaned forward and in a hushed voice- loud enough to be blatantly audible of course- he half-whispered ”It’s yer Mom, innit?” He scrunched his nose.


RE: But I’m still tired of sleeping with the light on - Stingray - July 04, 2022

Every syllable of his full name crashed down on Stingray like the swing of a hammer. He felt himself crouching lower and lower with every strike of Meerkat's voice, and when ma indicated that he was to stay right next to her, he scurried obediently into place. Mr. Bubbles was conspicuously absent now. Of course he was. He loved getting Stingray into trouble and then disappearing, and Ray was too young to see the red flags in such a friendship.

He peered up at Bronco while Meerkat introduced him. Uncle Bronco was as scarred as scarred could be, almost rivalling Rosalyn. Maybe even topping Rosalyn. Stingray thought scars were pretty cool, so his first impression of his uncle was that he was a badass. But then Bronco started making fun of his name.

His second impression of his uncle was that he was a jackass.

Ray pulled a face when Bronco called him stinkray. He was already feeling a little down and self-conscious on account of being caught red-handed sneaking away from the rendezvous site and knowing he was gonna be in trouble later, so having his name made fun of certainly didn't help. Maybe on another day, he'd have taken it for the joke it was. Today, it just hit wrong. It didn't help that Mr. Bubbles had appeared again in the trees and was laughing at him.

He turned to sniff at his own shoulder, then looked down at his toes, saying nothing in response.


RE: But I’m still tired of sleeping with the light on - Meerkat - July 04, 2022

She didn’t think too much of the teasing, even as Bronco laid it on thick. But Meerkat’s attention quickly fixed on her son, curious what he would make of a proper stranger. Bronco was family, though certainly not in the same way as the wolves in Sapphique. That thought panged her heart, though she was too busy catching on to Ray’s declining mood to pay it much attention.

He’s only teasing, she murmured reassuringly to her son, bending to lick his forehead and whisperered for his ears only, Besides, we all know it’s your da who smells… Meerkat complemented this lighthearted remark by throwing a gentle elbow at him.

Straightening and looking back at Bronco, she wondered: was this salvageable? She didn’t just mean his first impression on her son, but their own relationship. Her brow furrowed as she wondered what to say to iron out the wrinkles in this situation.

I’m going to escort Ray back to Corsair Beach, then I’ll meet you back here, she decided after a momentary pause. Come on, Ray, she said without waiting for a reaction from either one of them, nudging him gently.


RE: But I’m still tired of sleeping with the light on - RIP Bronco - July 06, 2022

He’d made the wrong move with the kid- who looked a bit overwhelmed and hurt by his jousting comments. He was a lot more sensitive than what Bronco had expected, and he immediately felt his heart sink. ”Yeah, bud, I-“ He spluttered when Meerkat tried to soothe her kid. He looked defeated, though. He wasn’t nearly as rowdy or rambunctious or audacious as Quetzal and Alyx had been. This kid was a lot more like Primrose…And it broke his heart to think he’d potentially blown his shot at getting to bond with another sweet-hearted family member. 

She decided to take Ray home, and he nodded, numbed slightly. ”Sure. I’ll see you another time, Ray,” He said, hoping that there might be another time, and that he hadn’t just estranged himself from Meerkat’s family completely. 

He stayed put where he was, knowing better than to budge from where he’d been left, lest one of the people lady-warrior leaders pass by and find him a nuisance.


RE: But I’m still tired of sleeping with the light on - Stingray - July 19, 2022

Meerkat's reassurance did little to smooth Stingray's ruffled feathers. Mr. Bubbles was still laughing at him, waving his flippered hand across his turtle snout as if warding off a bad odour. Stingray wrinkled his nose at his friend, who wasn't being a very good one right now, and obediently followed Meerkat away from the borders.

It wasn't even Bronco's fault, really. Any other day, Stingray could be a good sport. He might even have laughed. There was something about being caught doing something bad that made young children terribly self-conscious, if only for a short while, which made the joke ill-timed.

Once returned safely to the rendezvous and placed under the watch of someone a little more responsible than him, Ray settled down for a nap. When he woke later, he wouldn't remember being butthurt about his uncle's joke, only feeling vaguely curious about the man, and Mr. Bubbles wouldn't remember the joke, either. At least until the next time someone called him a hurtful name.


RE: But I’m still tired of sleeping with the light on - Meerkat - July 19, 2022

Once Ray was delivered to and settled in at the rendezvous site, Meerkat headed back toward the borders. She walked slowly, her feelings still all over the place. The pace gave her a few moments to process Bronco’s appearance, what he’d said thus far and what she wanted to say in response.

By the time she reunited with him for the second time that day, she had an idea of what she wanted to say, the words coming quietly. I really want to hear all about what you’ve been up to since, well… Meerkat trailed off as she realized, with a pang, she couldn’t honestly remember the last time she’d seen him.

Calamity after disaster after tragedy had pried the two of them apart. Then Killdeer had come along, the manifestation of a relationship Meerkat hadn’t even known existed between Bronco and Fennec. And nothing had ever been the same after that. Meerkat realized now that she’d felt not just blindsided but replaced by the intimacy with his newfound family. What place did a kid sister have compared to a mate and son?

But time blurred the details and softened the edges of those once jagged emotions, allowing a genuine if tentative smile to creep over her face as Meerkat sighed and said, Bronco, do you have any idea how much I’ve missed you?


RE: But I’m still tired of sleeping with the light on - RIP Bronco - July 19, 2022

Bronco tried to remain optimistic during the thick silence that crept in after Meerkat and Stingray left, but it was difficult. Even the seabirds that wheeled overhead circled without their usual commentary, leaving him alone with his thoughts. His thoughts were scattered; his mind a radio without a proper antenna, that only focused in on one intelligible, uncomfortable thought: 

What if Meerkat decided not to come back?

She did. And his anxiety settled when he caught sight of her, though he wondered for a moment if she’d only come back out of politeness, and might send him away. She could use any excuse to get rid of him, and he’d obey. Maybe she’d tell him she was tired, or that Stingray was more upset than he’d let on and needed her back. But at least she’d come back.

He hung on her words for a moment and leaned hard into the guilt that they sparked. His posture wilted and his eyes glistened. He waited for a moment, for what he thought was the inevitablebut.

But I’m tired.
But Stingray needs me.
But you left me a long time ago, you left everyone, and you never said what happened when you came back and then you bailed on the family you made and you don’tdeservemytimeatall-

He’d stopped breathing and didn’t realize it until she spoke again. He had been clenching his jaws so hard they felt like a snare that had been tripped and rusted shut. Relief wasn’t something he’d expected at all, and it hit him with unexpected force. When he released his breath it barely wrangled its way through his vocal chords with a high pitched squeal, like a tire slowly releasing air through a crack. 

”I’m so sorry.” He croaked. He both longed for comfort, but felt rooted to the spot as well- still convinced he was undeserving of her attention, after missing out on so much of her life. He couldn’t do much- and was on the verge of breaking down completely- but the best he could do was apologize, and then hold his breath again.


RE: But I’m still tired of sleeping with the light on - Meerkat - July 19, 2022

The noise that escaped him made her single functional ear twitch. It was followed by a breathy apology. Her gentle smile remained in place as her amber eyes roved back and forth between his, almost searchingly.

It’s okay, Meerkat said, letting the last vestiges of bitterness carry away on the salty summer breeze.

She said nothing else for a long moment, reflecting briefly on everything she could tell him about her own life. But Meerkat truly wanted to hear about his, hoping a third gentle nudge would get him talking.

You look like you’ve been to hell and back, she said, her smile going a little lopsided.

She hoped that wasn’t the case, though Meerkat figured it was was only par for the course. She was having a streak of good fortune lately but she knew that life sure liked to throw its wrenches. Bronco had probably seen his fair share during their time apart.

Tell me about it.