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+--- Thread: Redsand Canyon My heart has teeth. (/showthread.php?tid=52176)
My heart has teeth. - Towhee - August 09, 2022
It was quite late by the time she made her way home, well past midnight. She crept into the den she shared with her partner and children, then stood over them, staring at them like a total creeper.
It was almost a certainty that Jack and Leo would leave her one day. And when that day came, it would be a credit to her parenting skills that she had raised yet another batch of capable, independent Redhawks. But it would hurt.
She slipped closer to the sleeping @Maxim, pushing at his shoulder with her snout.
Wake up, I need to talk to you,she did her best to whisper.
Without waiting for a reply, Towhee skulked back outside and took a seat a few yards away from the door, so they wouldn’t disturb the pups. She craned her head upward to peer at the stars again, waiting for Maxim to come out and join her.
RE: My heart has teeth. - Maxim - August 09, 2022
he had been sprawled somewhere between jack snipe and leona. the children had had their full of play time before sleep and now both seemed continue to be completely unconscious. which obviously meant maxim took the opportunity to sleep, trusting towhee would return.
and she did.
except there was a prodding at his shoulder as she prompted him to...talk. he may have been riddled with anxiety if he wasn't stumbling to his feet half awake. comfortably, he settled himself down next to her. seated before he offered a cozy yawn.
what's up?
in a half-asleep state, it was easy to slip into the casualness of towhee's personality.
RE: My heart has teeth. - Towhee - August 09, 2022
He sat beside her, sleep-warm and yawning. Towhee stared at the side of his face, boring holes in his skull with her orange eyes. You’re gonna leave me one day too, aren’t you? The thought made her chest tighten and she realized it wasn’t just late, it was way too late.
Oh fuck, I’m in deep,Towhee mumbled to herself, reaching up to rub at her temple as she wondered if Maxim had any fucking clue about the power he had over her.
“What’s up?” he wanted to know, his gaze muzzy from the sleep she’d very rudely interrupted in order to possibly break up with him.
Nothing,she replied dumbly, fighting an urge to smile at the dumb, half-asleep look on his face and instead cutting her eyes away, skyward.
I just… I’m in love with you.Pause.
Fuck my life.
RE: My heart has teeth. - Maxim - August 09, 2022
he remained oblivious, all the way up to the point right before she declared something. he blinked for a moment, wishing hard to banish any sleep tendrils from him. he wanted to make sure he wasn't imagining things, that this wasn't a dream he was running through.
"i’m in love with you."
"fuck my life."
if this was a dream, he found it a sudden concoction of nightmare and bliss. a small building of a lump in his throat. maybe the fuck my life was not meant to be such a bitter period to her declaration. with towhee, cursing did not always mean bad.
is it bad to be in love with me?
he wondered if he'd regret the answer she might give.
he wondered if he should hold tightly onto the good they had built, with a sudden fear of it possibly all coming down — of losing her good company and the family he had built here. he wondered if she understood just how much their family dominated his mind. day in and day out.
maybe he was in love.
but maybe he couldn't say so until he knew if she found such a thing so terrible.
RE: My heart has teeth. - Towhee - August 09, 2022
She almost missed his question, though Towhee couldn’t keep her eyes away for long, curious how he might react to her declaration. She blinked at him like an owl, thinking only, That’s fair…
Yes,she replied,
because it means that when you inevitably leave me, it’ll crush me. But I can’t just shut it off,Towhee continued, thinking of Fennec again before saying, much more quietly,
and… I don’t want to.
She had so much to lose and, one day, it would bite her in the fuckin’ ass. But until then, Towhee was going to clutch it tightly to her and enjoy the hell out of it, okay? It would make that day—the day when fate pulled the rug out from underneath her yet again—all the more wretched but…
YOLO,she handwaved,
and shit.
RE: My heart has teeth. - Maxim - August 09, 2022
he listened, patient despite the churning of his gut. some part of it hurt to hear that she thought he would inevitably leave her. sure this pairing had not been entered into with love, but still there had been no...expiration date. he didn't intend to give her the children and flee off into the wild. and having watched their current lot grow? he had thought she might keep him around still for whatever years might follow.
he didn't want to leave. there was no blip in his mind that he might leave her and all of this behind.
at most, he wondered if they might leave one day. together. trips to take the children on, family to go see. thoughts that settled on his heart suddenly and he realized all of this with a stupid look upon his face.
business partners didn't find some sense of excitement in meeting family and dragging children across mountain ranges for it.
i'm not...leaving, towhee. ever.he declared, gaze fixed upon her features.
so you are stuck with me — and my love.
now he settled, silent and waiting. wondering if she still wanted to say fuck my life.
RE: My heart has teeth. - Towhee - August 09, 2022
He told her he would never leave her. Towhee wanted to believe that—and she could tell he meant what he said—but she lived in the real world. Something or other would happen in the end. Even if they somehow managed not to split up, one of them would eventually die. Probably her.
Probably me, Towhee thought with sudden glee. Man, wouldn’t that be great, if Maxim really didn’t ever leave her and then she died on him? Then she would never have to deal with him dying or leaving or whatever…
She looked at him, face pensive, and decided not to spew either her pessimistic crap or her morbid optimism on him. “…and my love.” For some reason, Towhee hadn’t really given any thought to whether Maxim might reciprocate.
You love me,Towhee said flatly, reaching up like she might cup his face and instead shoving it.
How fuckin’ dumb are you!she laugh-yelled, eyes sparkling as she quite likely woke up everyone living in the surrounding housing.
RE: My heart has teeth. - Maxim - August 09, 2022
it was like watching a firework, if he knew what such was. the way there was a spark and she suddenly burst to life. shoving at him and booming with yelling-laughter. likely declaring this moment to any who would wake for it.
he found he did not mind it too much.
you love me!he declared back, as if to shove her own point back. he moved to push his body into hers some too for good measure. not as if they were very far from each other already.
he exhaled through his nose, warm and delighted.
are you still going to call me a business partner?
RE: My heart has teeth. - Towhee - August 09, 2022
These two are killing me so good.
He hurled the accusation back at her, which: fair. Towhee found she was smiling like an idiot. She couldn’t control it, any more than she could control her feelings for him. They had been a whisper in the back of her mind for a while. Now that they were out in the open, they were loud.
Maxim playfully demanded to know if she would insist upon their prior titles, which of course didn’t really reflect the nature of the relationship that had grown between them. Towhee rolled her eyes, albeit affectionately, and very abruptly wondered if she was being too noisy.
Hunching her shoulders and sticking her face right into his, she mouth breathed,
What do you wanna be called? Don’t say ‘husband’ and ‘wife,’ that’s so cringe…
RE: My heart has teeth. - Maxim - August 09, 2022
such a good thing to return to <33
he stuck his face right back into her own. which put them practically nose to nose, which was fine. they were used to each other's breath — good or bad.
okay. well. then you decide!his features scrunched with humor as he stage whispered at her.
otherwise i will pick the cringe option.
perhaps he should dwell on some truly, 'cringe' worth titles. honey bun? smoochy bear? things to tuck away carefully to antagonize towhee with later.
RE: My heart has teeth. - Towhee - August 10, 2022
She was too chuffed to argue with him, though she snorted as she drew back a little to better read his lips. She was probably stuck with those titles, she realized, and Towhee really didn’t like them. But all her more valid misgivings aside, she realized there was a lot she would put up with when it came to this stupidly endearing man who had somehow captured her toothy old heart.
Fine, hubby,she snarked, nipping at his cheek.
I am fucking tired,Towhee announced in the very next breath.
And this means I’m not above a cuddle,as if she hadn’t been snuggling him all along.
I get to be big spoon,she drawled through a yawn, moving to head back inside.
RE: My heart has teeth. - Maxim - August 10, 2022
he leaned into her as they headed back inside. a bit more...unified. in terms only, really. it certainly didn't change how they acted. only that they accepted this was how they acted.
deal.he huffed with a drawl as he moved to settle down, back to her in full trust. and also expected her role as big spoon.
RE: My heart has teeth. - Towhee - August 11, 2022
Soon the pair of them was curled around one another. Towhee let Maxim settle, keeping her head raised for a moment to gaze at their sleeping children over the slope of his back. She felt a hitch in her chest. She loved all three of these wolves with her whole heart, which any one of them could easily shatter.
Eventually, her chin drifted to settle on the peak between her mate’s shoulder blades. Sleep did not come easily. Towhee was happy and scared in equal measure as she acknowledged how much she had to lose. She was certain that she would lose it all, one day.
Until that day came, she would try to enjoy the hell out of every minute with her beloveds.
I couldn’t help but think of this song while I was writing this post, lol. Thanks for the thread!