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+--- Thread: Redsand Canyon That you're worn down from fightin' for me (/showthread.php?tid=52877)
That you're worn down from fightin' for me - Fennec - October 09, 2022
lmk if any assumptions aren't okay - I wanted to free her up to roam a bit, but wasn't sure how <3 I can edit or open this up if need be.
When Fennec returned from her short trip away, her head was clearer. She had been avoiding this for too long, but @Killdeer deserved a conversation. He needed to know why, if he ever saw his father in the future, he would be doing it alone. And he needed to know why their family had failed. She wouldn't allow his father to be the one to teach him how to love - not if this was the way he did things.
She didn't dwell on it but she didn't mince words either. She told him of his father's return, and of the way she'd begged him to stay. The ultimatum she'd given, and the ways after she'd tried to make their marriage work. And, finally, the ways none of it had mattered, because her own needs had never entered the equation. How asking for the things she needed had been the thing to break them.
Never settle for less than the things you need, Killer. You have the right to ask for it, and if they can't see that, then they don't deserve you.
And finally, how now that it was convenient, her attempts to hold what remained of their family together had been 'blackmail' all along. How she wouldn't take the blame for this anymore because if Bronco had truly felt this way, he should have called her on it in the beginning. They would have talked. He'd blamed her so many times for being unwilling to be open when in reality, he was the one holding back. She'd never lied to him once.
This was the thing Fennec needed Killdeer to know more than anything. She didn't want him to hide the way Bronco did, blaming others for the ways they couldn't read his mind. She didn't mean for this conversation to turn him against his dad, as tempting as it was to do that. He could ask Bronco for his own side whenever he wanted. She wanted him to learn from their mistakes so that maybe, one day, he wouldn't repeat them.
And she needed him to understand why she might need to leave. Not right now, and maybe not anytime soon, but someday.
I've been chasing other people's happiness for a long time. I might want to chase my own. But I know you'll be okay, Killer. And I won't be going anywhere without talking with you first.
It was a lot for him to take in but she thought he might understand. She sensed a lot of emotion but no betrayal, and that was the one she was most hoping to avoid. She didn't know it, or when, she would decide to depart. She only felt like she needed the option. It loosened something deep in her chest, a knot she hadn't even known had taken shape deep within.
She stayed and answered any questions he might have, talking things through as long as he wanted to and as late as he needed.