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+--- Thread: Sunspire Mountains praying like a fool who just shot a gun (/showthread.php?tid=53576)
praying like a fool who just shot a gun - Aquene - December 12, 2022
Inspo @Kallik
She hadn’t seen another way… she cared deeply for Mereo, and everything that it had given her and her family… but with both of her sons gone, her husband still not returned… she could not stand to keep going on and doing her duty to the pack. Even Germanicus knew it… he had to know it, after everything that she had put him through when it came to his decisions, the more irritable and antsy she had grown. She hadn’t been herself… a part of her had been mourning.
Her family had crumpled at her feet, dispersing out, her closest friends gone from her life, not gone fully, but she hardly got to see them and even then things felt strained… no, she hadn’t been herself, and so she had set out to find the piece of herself that had been missing the longest… she remembered the first time she had managed to catch his scent… it had been stale, but it had been undeniably him and it had brought her a great relief.
She supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised when the scent trial had started to bring her closer to Mereo. She was still some distance from the borders, and to be quite honest a part of her hesitated to return. She did not know how the other members of the pack had taken her sudden and hasty exit… she hadn’t known how to feel about it herself if she had been honest.
Instead, her heart felt like it might soon beat out of her chest, as if she were gasping for breath, feeling the tears prick in her eyes, a sense of overwhelming relief… and perhaps even a hint of dread… what would he think of her decision to leave, to go after him. What had he been told when he arrived home only to learn that his sons and wife were not there? What if he thought she had abandoned him just as his own family had?
And with it, came a song from her maw, a call for him that she hoped he would hear from within Mereo’s borders, the depth of the emotion reaching out, desperately praying for the reunion she had been dreaming of for months.
RE: praying like a fool who just shot a gun - Kallik - December 12, 2022
He couldn't stand to be in his and Aquene's quarters without her or the twins. What once felt so cozy and maybe a bit cramped now felt cold and empty. And it was full of memories of what once was, the same memories that had kept him going—but now they only reminded him of what he had lost. His sons were gone to other packs, and his wife was out looking for him. He tried not to think the worst, but it was hard after what had happened to him. Sometimes the scars left behind by his captors seemed to ache. There were so many of them on his muzzle and along his shoulders. But the worst was down the side of his neck; that one had been deep and it was the one that bothered him the most. They were like constant reminders of what he had endured, and now he had constant reminders of what he had lost.
The sun had set an hour or so ago as he finished up his last patrol. He was able to pour himself into his work during the day and avoid his feelings and memories. But the nights were rough. He often spent them in the highest parts of the canyon. He rarely slept, though; his thoughts were always too loud. Even now, he could hear Aquene's howl, spreading out over the canyon from somewhere in the distance. That was a new one. Apparently, he wasn't tortured enough already. Kallik's ear flicked towards the sound, and he realized then that it wasn't in his head at all. He shot to his feet, his heart racing and his blood surging through his veins, urging him to go to her. Aquene.
He still knew this part of the mountains well, and he was able to fly through the canyon and over the borders without thinking much about it. Her scent filled his nose and made his chest tighten. She was here. He pushed his muscles to go faster and they burned in response but he didn't care. Nothing was going to stop him from the reunion he had dreamed of so many lonely nights.
Relief crashed into him as he finally saw her. He had missed her so much. He wasn't even mad that she had left; he understood. But the universe decided it was time for a win and had sent her back to him. Kallik didn't stop running until he was in front of her, pushing his face into the fur of her neck. He inhaled deeply, letting her scent fill his lungs and soothe his aching heart. "I'm so sorry, Aquene," he whispered against her fur.
RE: praying like a fool who just shot a gun - Aquene - December 12, 2022
The call drew on, long until there wasn’t air in her lungs to allow it to carry on further, pausing to catch her breath… what else was there for her to do? Go to Epoch and visit Nanuq? Paleo for Siku? Attempt to bring them back now that both she and Kallik were there? She just wanted her family to be whole once more.
All she could do was wait, her paws frozen to the ground out of the fear that perhaps he didn’t hear her, or perhaps he was angry at her for leaving Mereo, where he knew she would be safe. Dimitri was still out there… somewhere, even if she had not seen or scented him since the attack on the borders… Ryzov had been gone as well… that did not mean that they would not one day return for her.
Her heart raced when the familiar fur came into view, his scent washing over her nose as the breeze blew in her direction, moving forward to bury her face in his fur, blinded by the overwhelming emotion bubbling in her chest that she did not immediately notice the obvious injuries, instead selfishly claiming what she needed which was the physical contact of his embrace instead. Her heart still felt as if it might beat out of her chest as she felt the tears welling, a soft sob of relief to see him, to hear his voice as he apologized to her.
“You have nothing to apologize for… you came back; you found your way back.” She had been worried… that he had been lost or killed while he had been away, and it was that which had caused her to need to leave to seek him out to begin with. “I… what happened?” It was then that she noticed it all, the concern clear on her features as she pulled back, immediately beginning to look him over. “Are you in pain? Have you seen a medicus about these? Kallik...” It was impossible for her to not fret… her voice carried her worry clear and in the months he had been gone she felt like she had aged ten years. He was there, but what if these had not healed properly? What if he was in lingering pain?
RE: praying like a fool who just shot a gun - Kallik - December 13, 2022
For a few moments, Kallik allowed himself to get lost in the feeling of her embrace. He drew in her scent with every breath until the ache in his heart was a little more bearable. he had missed her so much. The scent of warm tears filled his nose as Aquene softly sobbed against him. He knew it was in relief, but it hurt him all the same to know he had brought tears to her eyes like this.
I am here,he murmured softly, and the tenderness in his voice was something he hadn't heard from himself in so long. No one could weaken his walls like she could.
She was way too forgiving. The guilt he felt over leaving would never let him off the hook as easily as his wife did.
I should not have left at all,he told her, his voice rough with emotion.
It was not fair to you or the boys.If he had told the imperator that he didn't want to go and to pick someone else, he would have listened. But Kallik had just accepted the mission like a good soldier, forgetting his duties and responsibilities as a husband and father. But never again. He was still a soldier, but now his family was his number one concern. When she asked what happened, Kallik visibly tensed, unable to hide his pain from her.
I cannot talk about it right now,he told her softly.
Soon, I will tell you everything, my love. Just know that it was not my decision to stay away this long.He brushed his nose along her cheek; it was something he thought a lot about doing while he was trapped and desperate for something to hold on to, something to give him the strength to keep going despite the horrors he had to endure.
They were distracted by the reunion, but it didn't take Aquene long to notice his poorly healed injuries. These were the fresher ones. A lot of the scars that marred his skin were older and didn't cause him much trouble even though they had healed without any help. He had to stifle the need to release a sick huff of laughter when she asked if he had seen a medicus. He had barely been fed, let alone had anyone to tend his wounds.
No, I am fine,he lied. He didn't want her to worry.
I think some of these fresher wounds could use your attention, though.No sense in dying from infection over his stupid pride and need to protect Aquene.
And you?he asked. His assessing gaze moved over her.
Are you okay? Physically, I mean.Because of course she wasn't okay; neither was he. They had been apart for months and their sons had left Mereo to join other packs. She must have felt so alone. She probably feared he was dead. He hated that he had been the source of her struggle. He would never leave her again, not if he could help it.
RE: praying like a fool who just shot a gun - Aquene - December 17, 2022
His touch felt like coming home, his scent the warm and heavenly embrace that had lingered only in dreams after it had faded completely from their den… despite her worry for his injuries, there was a savoring in his return, his soft tone carrying over and washing her over like a cleansing promise. They would never be separated again. If there was another mission, she’d personally chew Germanicus out until he agreed to send someone else. Kallik had paid enough for the price of loyalty; their family had paid enough for it.
He stated that he should not have left at all, her head shaking lightly. “There was no way to know you would be gone for so long…” She stated softly as she looked to him. “It’s not your fault… we missed you, but your absence was not your fault.” She knew that to be true, even moreso now as her heart thumped uncomfortably, for the first time in quite awhile.
“I know it wasn’t. I told the boys that every day as well.” It had not been his choice. He loved them all dearly, and would never chose to be separated from them for as long as he had. In his absence, they had all done the best they could… the boys had both left, Towhee and Maxim had left, Tamar and Arsenio had been gone even before. “The Mereo that exists now is very different from the one you left… the faces are all different. Towhee and Maxim left to stay in Epoch… our own sons left as well. Ruenna left; I led for a time, acting as Matrona.” She stated, giving the brief synopsis without diving into too much, though she imagined he already knew by the way that Mereo clung to his pelt once more.
He insisted that he was fine. “I am okay… physically, I am fine, and mentally I am much better now that you are here.” There was the raw relief, though in the coming days she’d likely not want to let him out of her sight. “I can certainly take a look at them… I trust my stores have remained well-stocked in my absence.” She would have everything she needed once she returned to Mereo as well.
RE: praying like a fool who just shot a gun - Kallik - December 27, 2022
How could Aquene not be angry with him? He had left her with their two young sons to go on a scouting mission and because of that decision, he had been captured and kept from them for months. His sons wouldn't even know him now. But he was so relieved to be in her embrace and to have her scent filling his lungs, that he couldn't voice any of that. He just wanted to pretend for a little bit that nothing was complicated and just be with her.
Aquene, I have missed you so much. You and the boys were the only things that kept me going at times.His breath was shaky for a moment as painful memories flooded his mind.
I never want to be apart from you again,he murmured against her.
She had even tried to make sure the twins knew he hadn't wanted to be away from them. She was too good for him. She was an angel, and he was some scarred angry monster that escaped from the depths of hell.
Aquene told him of the changes in Mereo, some he had already seen for himself. She was correct in that the canyon was not the same home he had left. He was sad to hear that the matrona had left, and he wondered how the imperator had dealt with it all.
I can see you as matrona,he told her, kissing her cheek. He couldn't help but nuzzle and kiss her over and over; he had been unable to do those things for so long.
She assured him that she was fine, especially now that he had returned, and Kallik nodded, kissing her cheek again. She said she could look at his wounds, that the tablinum should have been kept stocked. He hoped so because it would be impossible to do anything about it in the middle of the winter. For now, he only wanted to focus on Aquene. he pressed his face into her fur again, letting the feel of it push away the guilt and despair.
RE: praying like a fool who just shot a gun - Aquene - January 11, 2023
It was hard to be angry at him for following orders; she knew what it was like to be raised in a pack such as this and she knew what was expected of all of the soldiers there. Her husband was not exempt from such things, and she knew that. She had been mad at Germanicus for sending him more than she was at Kallik for leaving. He spoke and her heart warmed, thumping uncomfortably in her chest as she breathed in, inhaling his scent and embracing the fact that he was there in front of her.
He had been through hell; she had as well… but they had both survived it and they had come together just as they always did. They had returned to each other, facing down hell just to come back. They hadn’t let it break them either.
Fractured, perhaps, in their own individual ways, but she refused to believe that either one of them was broken at this moment. Broken implied it would never be the same and she couldn’t believe that. He kissed along her cheek, and she found herself more concerned with his wounds at that moment, locked onto them. “If Germanicus does not excuse you from duties for at least a week I will be having words with him and taking both of his ears.” She would not allow him to be separated from her after so long.
They deserved at least this.