Ouroboros Spine I don't even know who I am anymore

He had hoped to find @Kukutux within her ulaq this hour. For her, he had a gift; a symbol.

Knowing not of whether she was there, the man called softly through the entryway. Moonwoman, He spoke, daring not to use her name. He had not earned that right, nor had she yet offered him her trust. Just as it was with his wife, it would take time to earn these things.

If she answered, Inutsuk would poke his head through. A cream fur lay comfortably upon his shoulder. It was a fox he had slain and skinned, especially for her. White was the usual, elegant notion — but with her already silky white tones, he felt that this fur in particular would compliment her, should she choose to wear it.

I've brought something for you. A small token of my gratitude for you allowing me to return to the village... A small pause, then a harsh swallow. It is not a decision you alone made, but I owe star hunter my appreciation and apology in other forms.

RE: I don't even know who I am anymore - Kukutux - December 21, 2022

"inutsuk."

kukutux motioned that he should enter fully and sit with her. she watched him as he approached and her eyes went to the fur.

foxfur.

and words of apology.

her green eyes softened. "star hunter has a spirit filled with love for you. you have returned home with your son. i welcome you, my brother."

she placed a paw upon the glossy pelt.

RE: I don't even know who I am anymore - Inutsuk - December 21, 2022

She welcomed him in, and even called him brother.

He didn't feel worthy.

But how could he not accept it?

Inutsuk bowed his head low in thanks. It was comforting to be in her presence again. But there was still a tension, invisible and unspoken.

Tell me what I can do... To prove myself to you again, he wished to say, but refrained. If he tried, his voice may have caught in a croak.

RE: I don't even know who I am anymore - Kukutux - December 21, 2022

"be a good husband. be a good hunter. guide your son. he does not feel close to you, i do not think. two mothers suckled him. he is a son of the village."

she spread her paws.

"perhaps in the new season shikoba will bring children to your hearth. do not think more of them than of mojag."

RE: I don't even know who I am anymore - Inutsuk - December 22, 2022

Inutsuk listened to the advice attentively.

Be a good father. Be a good hunter. Guide my son.

The words ran through his head over and over. He would not forget them. He could not.

I will do these things. I want to improve as hunter, as father, and as husband.

But not only these things.

I also want Moonglow to know that I am here. For you and sunman to know trust in me again. He would not fail this a second time.

RE: I don't even know who I am anymore - Kukutux - December 23, 2022

kukutux nodded. "we must see it with our eyes. i believe you, inutsuk. there is a place for you here. you need only to hold it."

she smiled and stood, and moved gently past the man out into the cold air of the open. "i think a harsher time is coming. we must be ready. we must hunt more."

the whorls of snow seemed to confirm her word.

RE: I don't even know who I am anymore - Inutsuk - December 28, 2022

You will see it, He promised, releasing a small sigh of relief.

She held no contempt towards him. Now all he need do is continue on as he had before.

Kukutux turned from the den, stepping upon the ground that had become cold. Inutsuk followed. It is a good time, despite the cold. Our new sivilluk will have a chance to show his skill as both hunter and leader. But even with opportunities, he shared concern with the white woman.

The season may grow stronger, harsher. Or it may cease. Either way, we must be well prepared. Looking to the skies now, he watched as the winds curled and the snowflakes traveled within.

Once I have seen Shikoba again, I will search the woods. Some of the herd may have sought the close knit woodland for shelter from the heavy snowfall. There, the higher trees will catch more, leaving the grounds more bare than the open fields. If a small enough group can be found, we may be able to trap them and earn a bountiful reward as result. He spoke dutifully of his plans. Now that he had returned as hunter, the responsibility to see to full bellies was now also on him. He knew these lands, and so he must use this as an advantage.

An idea then came to him. I may take Mojag with me, if Shikoba agrees. It would be a good time of learning for him and a chance for us to reconnect.

Inutsuk looked to Kukutux now, curious to see if she agreed with what had been said.

RE: I don't even know who I am anymore - Kukutux - January 04, 2023

kukutux did approve. this showed in her greenstone eyes.

"you are a good man. a strong man. i see this. the village will see it again."

her voice promised these things if inutsuk continued to prove himself.

"the young hunters in the village, perhaps after the first time with mojag, you will also take kivaluk and ariadne."

RE: I don't even know who I am anymore - Inutsuk - January 05, 2023

The village would see it. Inutsuk hoped these words were true.

Moonwoman mentioned the youth. She suggested he teach them, but not until after he'd spent time with Mojag.

Kivaluk, the newest appointed secondhunter, and Ariadne, a child of the moon and sun.

Will they accept me as teacher? Samani had once done so, but that did not mean the same could be said for the rest.

RE: I don't even know who I am anymore - Kukutux - January 05, 2023

"you must prove yourself as teacher."

the village would accept him. or they would not.

shikoba would embrace him. or she would not.

these things depended upon the work of inutsuk.

"rest before your hunt, my kinsman."

RE: I don't even know who I am anymore - Inutsuk - January 16, 2023

Prove himself. He could do that.

I will work diligently towards this.

Rest before your hunt.

This was one of the last things he sought to do, but he would not argue.

Nodding a small farewell, Inutsuk then turned to leave.