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Two Rivers Isle This world is only gonna break your heart - Printable Version

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This world is only gonna break your heart - Ulrich - December 26, 2022

@Adylaide 

They stood before a river, with a forest on the other side. The river was a slushy mess, not quite frozen, not quite running clearly, and Ulrich was loathe to attempt to cross it. Still. Rivers could go on for miles and miles, and he did not want to go around if that could be helped. There must be a shallower place to cross, he told Adylaide. Or some stepping stones, if we're lucky, though if there are any, they may be iced over, which would make stepping on them treacherous. He followed the length of the river first left, then right, as far as he could see, slowly. Help me look, he said, and began to trot alongside the water.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Adylaide - December 26, 2022

Truth be told Ady was tired. She was tired of constantly walking. Of trying to eek out a living on the go. It didn't feel right. It felt harsh and unyielding and she knew part of it was her upbringing. She had been used to finer things in life, to being coddled and spoiled. So she had tried her hardest to continue at Ully's pace. To make sure all was done right and with little room for error, but she was starting to lag, she knew it.

Though the place they found to look at to cross was pretty enough. She reveled in the icy banks of the river. The water rushing and breaking the ice. How interesting. She wasn't keen on trying to cross on slippery, icy rocks. So at his command, instead she looked for a shallow spot to cross. The problem was with all the ice filling it, there was very little room for movement across.

Though she stopped as she came across a large log blocked. It was icy, but perhaps not as bad as a rock. Though, she winced at the churning water beneath it. Were they to fall in there, well.

Ully! She called, and then eyed it again. This is all I've found. It still looks a bit treacherous though. Do you wish to keep looking?


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Ulrich - December 26, 2022

Ulrich could tell that Adylaide was tired. She said nothing, but her body language spoke for her, in the drooping of her ears and tail, the hang of her head as they pressed on. If they did not find somewhere satisfactory soon, he was not sure what they would do. He could not continue to march her like a soldier, especially not in this weather.

He followed her gaze at her words and saw the log she spoke of. He moved closer to it, studying it.

"Do you wish to keep looking?" she asked.

He shook his head. This is as good as any other way to cross, and we may not find anything better. Let me go first without you. I'm heavier; if the log can support my weight, it will certainly be able to support yours. Understand?


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Adylaide - December 26, 2022

Ady was sure that Ully could see her lagging body and he probably felt so guilty. She honestly didn't know how the male did it. His stamina was ridiculous for long marches, but she shouldn't be surprised. Not really, after all he was a trained soldier and guard.

He came towards her and eyed the log with his brown eyes. A furrow between them. She knew he was puzzling out the best way to get across. Though his next words made her stomach hurt. What if he fell in? What if she couldn't catch him? What if she became alone?

Be careful, Ully. She whispered, her face drawn. Were she human it would have paled. Then she waited with baited breath. Afraid to breathe for fear that it would capsize him into the foaming, rushing, icy river.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Ulrich - December 26, 2022

Ulrich read the pain in Adylaide's eyes, the terror. He took a breath, his throat tight. Listen to me. If I should fall in and cannot be saved... He took another breath. Follow this river. Keep to the water. Water means life, and that means prey for you to hunt. Do not follow me into the water. Do not try to save me. I will try to save myself, but I cannot do that if I am worried about you. Now...

With that painful message out of the way, his heart squeezed inside his chest, on a terrible whim, he lunged toward her and pressed his nose to her cheek, just in case the worst should happen.

Then he turned without looking at her, heat surging through his body, and placed one paw upon the log, then another. He pushed at it, bouncing, but it held steady in the water. With a deep breath, he stepped up onto the log with all four paws. Nothing happened. He began to walk, tentatively, testing the weight of the log. It seemed to hold all right. He was halfway across, feeling confident when--CRACK!--part of the log under his paws collapsed under him. Most of the log remained intact, but still, Ulrich felt himself lose his balance. With a cry of shock, he fell sideways into the river.

Luckily, what with the water being half-frozen, the current had slowed down and he was not rushed away out of sight. Unluckily, the river was half-frozen, and the cold water was a complete shock to his system. He got his head above water in but a moment, but could not take a breath, the water so cold it made it impossible to inhale. Somehow, though he was only half-aware of his surroundings, he managed to get himself across to the other side of the river and throw himself up onto. the bank. And there he lay, shivering violently, all thoughts of Adylaide knocked from his head by the cold.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Adylaide - December 26, 2022

She wanted to rage at him for even putting such a thing in the universe. How dare he tell her if he shouldn't make it, if something should happen. How dare he. That wasn't fair and it wasn't nice and she didn't like it. But all the anger bled from her the minute he touched her cheek and she froze in shock. Her breathing rapid, her heart beating faster. Then he was gone, and she felt the chill in the air. 

She didn't breathe, move. Her eyes on him motionless she watched, body tight like a wire spring. So far it all seemed okay, she was just about to let her breathing resume, when a loud crack resounded through the area. Ears hit her skull and she screamed before she could even think about it. 

ULLY!

Slow motion her world upended and she was unsure what to do. Her thoughts raced. She remembered her father's body, her mothers. Blood. Then she snapped out of it, to race towards the water's edge. She didn't see him. Where was he. Brown eyes searching, searing. Unaware of the low whimpers that continuously fell from her lips. The squeals and the wetness that fell from her eyes like rain. Suddenly his face broke the surface with loud smack, and he was there, but his mouth hung open as if he couldn't get any breath. 

Her breath left her in a rush, and before she was even thinking of it, she was across the log in the same beat of time that it took him to pull himself to the side and lay shivering. 

She raced to him, licking his face and his neck. The whines continuing deep in her chest. Her breathing stuttered. 

Ully! Ully! Are you okay? Ulrich? Please tell me you're alright, is anything broken? What do i do, Ully? What do I do?

Her whines grew fervent, she was panicking she knew this, but she was absolutely unable to stop it.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Ulrich - December 26, 2022

It took Ulrich several moments to understand what was going on. He'd finally gotten air back into his lungs, but now someone was there, hovering over him and licking him desperately, as if he were a pup just born, but not crying, and she the terrified mother, nudging her child to life. Adylaide. That was who was there.

He ignored her desperate pleas for a moment, and managed to get his paws underneath him, though he stumbled. Then he shook himself as hard as he could, trying to dislodge as much water from his coat as possible, or he'd freeze to death immediately. He managed to walk a few steps, just to get away from the riverbank, and then he slowly sank to the ground, his limbs so numb with cold that he could hardly move. Ady-dylaide, he murmured, chattering with cold. H-Hush. You m-must... l-lie b-beside me. For... w-warmth. Please... This was no time to stand on ceremony. She would help him warm up or doom him to death, but he had a feeling he knew what her response would be.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Adylaide - December 26, 2022

Ully stared around with a dull expression. As if he wasn't quite certain what was going on. She grew terrified more than she had been.  And he didn't speak, simply ignored her. Which made it so much worse. Then when he pushed her away, not on purpose, but it felt like it. She wanted to whine further. He told her to hush, and with those words. Finally, she realized the noises she was making were most unbecoming and she slammed her mouth shut.

She bounded forward and curled as tightly around him as she could. Granted it didn't help much, she was so much smaller than him. But she tried. Tried to find the wettest part and lay there, but the problem was he was wet everywhere. Shivering so hard, he shook her as well.

She settled and snapped. That was awful, Ully.I told you to be careful. What. were. you, thinking. You crazy wolf, never again. You. You.

Her words sputtered out and she choked on them. She shook her head, fighting the howl that threatened to rip from her maw. She had been more frightened to lose him than she had been when her parents had lay at her feet. But she could never say that. He would truly know how terrible she was then.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Ulrich - December 26, 2022

Ulrich was so cold he was almost unable to understand anything Adylaide was saying. As they lay there, curled together, he could feel one side of him growing marginally warmer, while the rest of him continued to freeze. They could not stay there forever. A den would have to be found, somewhere out of the elements. But he was still too cold to walk.

Adylaide scolded him as a mother would, and Ulrich, had he been able, would have hung his head in shame and, if he were honest, a little embarrassment. But he was far too cold for all of that. Ady, he said, without thinking, without realizing that he had just used her nickname for the first time in his life. Only her parents and siblings had called her that. I'm s-sorry, he said. And then he turned his face into her fur to hide from the cold. Her fur was thicker and plusher than his, and beneath it, her skin was warm. He kept his eyes closed against her fur, feeling the tip of his nose unfreeze, and smiled where she could not see.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Adylaide - December 26, 2022

Ady knew she wasn't much help. And she would need to move to his other side soon enough, because she was too small to help him on both sides at once. She could throw a leg and paw over his back, but that was awkward and a little painful, probably. 

She sucked in a breath at his gentle nickname. The name that no one had called her, but her family. But from his lips it sounded like the most precious thing, it was a gift. She determined and she knew he probably hadn't even realized he'd said it.

She gave a soft sigh, a gentle chuff. And soothed a muzzle over his head. It's okay, Ully. Just. If something happened to you, it would break my heart. Shatter it.

She didn't move, simply slowed her breathing to help match his, hoping that he would grow warmer. 

Should i move to your other side, Ully? Warm that side too. I'm afraid I'm much to small. The last part said with slight sadness. She wished she were a little bigger.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Ulrich - December 26, 2022

Ulrich was beginning to warm up just enough to hear her words and understand them. He was still freezing, every inch of him feeling the stinging burn of his tumble into the river, but his head was a little clearer. Perhaps he would not die. But now, he would live with the knowledge that if anything ever happened to him it would... shatter Adylaide's heart. Hearing that from her twisted him up inside, made him want to disappear. He said nothing because he did not know what to say to that. What could he possibly say to such a confession?

Then she asked him if she should move to his other side. "I'm afraid I'm much too small," she told him, afraid that her tiny body would not be enough to keep him from freezing to death.

No, he said, without thought. You're not too small. You're perfect. He blinked, and then realized how horribly that could be misconstrued. Ah... I meant--your body-- No, that could be misconstrued as well. Y-Your body... s-size? Now he just sounded like a seedy kind of man who stared lewdly at women all day. Feeling utterly embarrassed, so much so that the cold was temporarily forgotten, he grit his teeth and bowed his head. I meant you don't have to move. You're fine where you are. He released a breath harshly, wondering how Adylaide would respond to all that.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Adylaide - December 26, 2022

Ady knew she had said too much, but she couldn't keep the words there, and it was a new realization. She had known he feelings were more than friendly, had known for years if she was honest. There had always been a small part of her, that knew, but she had refused to acknowledge it.

His first words and she blinked in surprise but before she could even make an utterance, he continued digging his hole. His next words and she giggled.  He continued and by the end she was chuckling so hard she probably shook him

Oh Ully. Please never change. I adore you just the way you are.

She continued to giggle, and she snuggled closer to him. Trying to warm him up with what little she could offer.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Ulrich - December 26, 2022

Ulrich felt very put out as Adylaide laughed at him, but he could not fault her for that. He had just made a fool of himself, and if he were not so embarrassed, he might laugh as well. He pursed his lips, feeling awkward as her laughter shook his body. Warming up little by little, he was now fully aware of how close they were, the way she lay across him, the way her body felt against his...

His ears fell back along his skull at her next words. You adore me, he repeated quietly, almost to himself. You should not adore me, my lady. I am your guardian. Gently, he extricated his body out from under her and sat up, though he regretted it in an instant as the air was once again exposed to his wet, clinging fur. He began to shiver again. The way you speak to me... We would both be in trouble back home, if anyone overheard you. I am simply your guard, my lady. One day I am sure you will find... He glanced away, his voice still so low as to be nearly undecipherable. Someone better, he finished. This was the closest he had ever come to acknowledging that he knew how she felt. He had always hoped that her feelings would disappear with age, but they only seemed to have grown stronger... And now he did not know what to do with them.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Adylaide - December 26, 2022

Ady was certain could she see his face, Ulrich would have a frown the size of the river in front of them. And it would just keep getting larger, but she couldn't help it. She tried to stifle it, really she did. But it just, she supposed in part it was due to the fact that she had almost lost him. The adrenaline high and all that, gotta laugh or you'll cry type of thing. 

His words fell on her ears, like leaden stones. She shifted, but before she could speak, he was up and moving away from her.

Ully! She snapped at him when he moved, his body beginning to shiver almost immediately. Suddenly, she realized they were treading in dangerous territory. And before, before his argument was sound. It really was, but who could stop them.

She was up and in his face in a moment. Bushing tail and vibrant flashing eyes. She gave him a glare, she had perfected on her siblings. One that cut you to the quick and let you bare. It was one of her best weapons.

You can't lie to me, Ully. You never have been able to.

She lifted her snout, the proud tilt of her chin. I don't care what they would say back home. We aren't back home! We are here, somewhere that isn't home, but it's going to be. And you know what. I don't care much what they would say anyway. Whose going to stop me now, hmm?

She lay her ears to her skull, a strange aching quietness in her chest. She could lay it all out on the line. She could, but would he take it. Or would he break her heart. She shook her head. Now was not the time for doubts.

You know what Ulrich! I won't find anyone better, and I won't look either. I tried you know. I entertained the nobles that my parents paraded before me, like I was some kind of offering on a buffet. And I hated every minute of it. Every single minute. I thought it's my duty. And I can't have Ully anyway. But if I can have him as my guard, it will be okay. I can bear it. But with each passing year, it was harder and harder.

She sniffed and motioned around them. And now we are here, and I could have you for me, if you'd just let me. So let me lay this out there for you, Ully. I am in love with you. I have been in love with you for years. You don't have to accept it. If you want me to let you be fine I will, but don't insult me, by telling me to find someone better. When.

She felt her throat tighten and she pressed on, her voice thick now. When as far as I am concerned you are the best, you are perfect to me in anyway. Don't answer me right now. She held up a paw and wrinkled her snout.

Just. She sighed. Stop insulting me and treating me like a child who doesn't know their own feelings.

She shivered and shook her head, and looked him over. We gotta find a place for you to get warm anyway.

She turned and scanned the horizon.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Ulrich - December 27, 2022

She came at him suddenly, and he jumped in shock, pulling his face away. And words came cascading out of her and flowing over him, and he was... overwhelmed.

You can lie to me... I don't care what they would say back home... I won't find anyone better, and I won't look, either... And now we are here, and I could have you for me... I am in love with you...

Ulrich choked. On what?--on nothing--on air--on the words that she spoke that seemed to drown him as he sat there. He had not expected this. Never in a million years would he have expected this. And now it was all there, out in the open, and he had no idea what to do with it. He tried to speak several times but his mouth and throat felt dry. And now she was turning away from him, saying that they needed to find a place for him to warm up. He had forgotten he was even cold...

He did not want her to turn away. He wanted her to keep yelling at him, to drown him in words. He stood up and stepped so close to her that they were almost touching, his nose hovering near her cheek. His breath shook and his stomach fluttered. Do you truly love me? he whispered, and prayed that she would say yes. If her answer was anything else, he was sure he would die right here.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Adylaide - December 27, 2022

Ully had jumped and he looked like a deer caught in hunters claw and teeth. She didn't stop though, or shy away. What she wanted to say, needed said, before it ate away at her, or she grew to cowardly to say it. 

His opened and closed his mouth, making an awkward noise in his throat, like he was choking on a fish bone. She wasn't certain what that meant. She frowned, hoping she hadn't caused him to have a heart attack or something.

Suddenly she was thrown from her mission. So close she could reach out and touch him. So close their breath intermingled. His voice a hoarse whisper. Ears tilted up and down, and back again. Then forward. Did he. Did he want her to love him? Then what was all that talk of duty and forbidden and. And.

She gave a firm nod. Of course I do. Have you ever known me to lie, Ully? Since I was almost a year and a half.

She had always known, deep inside. She had been ignoring it though for the better half of almost two years. Because it had been forbidden and he had been so duty bound, but here, now. She didn't have too.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Ulrich - December 27, 2022

She confirmed it. She did love him. He released a breath that seemed to flow out of him forever, and his legs felt like jelly. He shook where he stood, and not just from the cold now. But what was supposed to happen now? He was overjoyed with happiness for a few brief, bright moments, and then his mind clouded in confusion and worry. What was she expecting? Marriage? Out here? They were not even safe yet.

I... he began, and then stopped. Did he love her in return? He... he thought he did... probably. He had never given himself permission to think of her in this way, so now he was only confused. But he could not destroy her after she had just confessed to him. Will... will you give me time? he begged, his voice thick with emotion, still so close to her that he could feel her warm breath on his face. I... I need to think. And... we must... find somewhere warm. Terrified that she would take this all the wrong way, he rushed on. You have made me... the happiest man alive, Adylaide. I just... never expected this. I just need time. Is that--is that all right? He pulled back to stare at her, concern clear in his eyes. I am not rejecting you. I just need time to think.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Adylaide - December 27, 2022

His breath intermingled with her's even longer. It was as if his entire being released. She watched him a little wide eyed and concerned. Had she broken him? She hadn't mean to do that. Did he really only see her as a charge? Nothing more. For a brief moment, a sadness so profound littered it's way through her, she couldn't breathe, but she forced herself to press it aside. He hadn't said either and she had just well given him a lot to consider.

She gave him a stiff nod. Take as much time as you need. I'm not going anywhere. And. She shook her head. 

Take as much time as you need. She reiterated again. She longed to tell him that if he didn't or couldn't love her the same, not to spare her. To please tell her the truth so that she could grieve for what she had hoped for. Not that she thought this was the way of things.

She motioned further up the hill. There seems to be some tree cover that way.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Ulrich - December 27, 2022

Ulrich felt that, even as gentle as he had been, he had still hurt her. He cringed internally, cursing himself. He should've said he loved her too, right away, immediately, even if it was a lie. Not that it was a lie. He wasn't sure how he felt. That was the problem. He sighed quietly and walked into the forest with her, head swinging from side to side as he tried to find some animal den to dig out further into a place where they could rest. Now that the... confession was over, and they were moving again, he began, once more, to shiver with cold. What if he died of it before he even gave Adylaide a proper response? He could not leave her like that. He had to live. And they had to stay safe through the winter.

After walking for some time, the scent of decay and death filled his nose, and underneath it, the stench of fox. Stop, he said, the first word he had spoken for a long time. Smell. Can you tell me what that is? Love confession or no, it was still Ulrich's job to teach Adylaide how to survive out here. With a dead fox nearby, he hoped they'd find its empty den and could dig it out to make it bigger, enough for the two of them to crawl inside and stay warm.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Adylaide - December 27, 2022

He hadn't hurt her. She had actually figured he would be this way. No, she just wanted to be sure he loved her, and not because of some weird sense of duty, but she didn't know how to word that. So she had said nothing.

Ully's voice came out harsh and she froze. Fear curled around her, but it lessened as he gave her a lesson. She took a small sniff, and immediately wrinkled her nose. 

Something very dead.

Most wolves were fine with such a smell. Ady was not such a wolf. Her upbringing had only been choice meats and they were never decayed. Even the caches were kept in order at least the royal ones, but how she wasn't sure. 

She tried to find out what else. She smelled something musty, and strange underneath the scent of death. She placed a paw over her nose just for amoment and then spoke. 

It smells like something. Like the soldiers smelled sometimes after one of the trainings they did, but I don't know what it is?


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Ulrich - December 27, 2022

Ulrich tried not to smile at Adylaide's wrinkled, disgusted expression. If she was going to survive out here, she'd have to learn to deal with unpleasant smells and rotting meat. His smile faded and he blinked in surprise when she said that it reminded her of the soldiers after certain training lessons. It's... It's fox, he said. Hesitantly, he asked, The soldiers smelled of dead fox sometimes? He grimaced. Perhaps they did not bathe as frequently as they should have. A horrifying thought entered his brain. I never smelled of rotting fox, did I? Maybe a dunk in the river is just what I needed...

He shook his head. Regardless, the dead fox will provide us a free meal, and we must see if we can find its den. Digging it out into something bigger to accommodate us will be easier than digging a brand new den. And then we'll have somewhere out of the elements to rest for a while. What say you?


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Adylaide - December 27, 2022

Ady was trying to take everything in stride, but goodness. Some things that she was being exposed too. It was enough to make her scream a little. But she put on a brave face and listened to him. Though she couldn't quite stop the small giggle that escaped her at Ully's face.

Only on very brief occasion's did you Ully. And you were always quite regular with your bathing habits.

She giggled again, putting a paw in front of her nose again. Though this time to hide the smile there, though it would have spread across the wider part of her snout regardless.

That sounds good to me. Let's see if we can find a dead fox.

She shook her head, surprised at the thought process. She never would have thought that such a sentence would be uttered from her mouth.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Ulrich - December 27, 2022

Ulrich did not know how to feel about having smelled like a dead fox at any time in his life. He felt this knowledge would haunt him forever, and he would take baths with increasing frequency until he practically lived in the river. He held himself to a certain standard, and smelling of dead fox certainly broke that standard.

They found the fox soon enough; its pungent scent was easy to track. Ulrich stared down into the mouth of the den. It died inside, he said, sighing. The den will stink of it for days, but I'll take this den over the open air any winter's day. Wait. He took a breath and held it, and then plunged the front half of his body into the hole, rooting around for the fox. Luckily it had died near the entrance, and he pulled it out quickly and tossed it to the side. Lunch, he said. And then we'll work on digging out this den. Making it bigger and tearing up the earth will help get the smell out faster. And, without hesitation, he began to tear into the rotting corpse.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Adylaide - December 28, 2022

Ulrich still looked gobsmacked and Ady was trying so hard to keep a straight face. There was no denying her guard was a meticulous creature, both in habit and mannerisms. Thus he took very good care of his pelt and body, including frequent baths. To him the words she had uttered, had probably upset him, more than he wished to say.

They found the fox alright and gods have mercy. Ady waved her paw in front of her face. Gods it smelled disgusting and yet, her mouth watered a bit. She had to lick her lips. 

Before she could say a word he was eating the dead thing. She stared at it with a mix of curiosity and revulsion. It was bloated and a sickly dark color and pieces of it's skin had burst. She noticed where there was holes, the scent was worse. So this was what something this far gone looked like.

Is this what her parents looked like now, her siblings? Or had scavengers began to eat upon them. A sharp intake of breath, and she forced herself forward to take a bite. She was expecting something awful, truly. But once you got past the smell it wasn't so bad. She took another and chewed with eyes closed. This would make a substantial meal between the two, given that they had only had a groundhog and a rabbit in the last few days.

She spoke in thought. You know if we found any pine fronds, we could put them in the den. It would take out some of the smell.

Her mother had often had such leaves arrayed around the palace. When crushed they emitted a scent of musky goodness. That she couldn't quite describe.


RE: This world is only gonna break your heart - Ulrich - December 28, 2022

Ulrich was so busy eating that he did not notice whatever emotions might have flitted across Adylaide's face, but his ears perked up when she spoke. Pine fronds. That's a good idea. He paused. In the spring and summer we can fill this den with lots of pleasant-smelling things. I-If we... stay that long, that is. He glanced around. We may as well stay, or at least look around and see if this place is habitable. After we rest, I mean. He nodded to himself, having made that decision, and went back to eating, tearing off pieces of pungent flesh from the dead fox.