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+--- Thread: Northstar Vale We are the ones who will never be broken (/showthread.php?tid=54076)
We are the ones who will never be broken - Reyson - January 12, 2023
THe other one got archived so here you be :)
Reyson found his path taking him around and around the area. He had slept most of the day away and he awoke, refreshed, mist laying heavy upon his gilded cloak. He tilted his head and let his eyes trace the night sky. For the first time in a long time, he traced his paw across constellations he had long forgotten or just simply didn't look at. He studied the way they moved, behind their cloak of water. It hung suspended heavy and glittering there in the night air. It was cold, but he found it refreshing. Rain to wash away the pains of yesterday.
He had made a home beneath a tree, deep within the Saffron grove. One where you would need to search to find him, but he could easily see what was going on around him. He liked it this way. Also if something should happen and @Meadow should decide to sever ties with him. At least he would be away from prying eyes. He had thrown his lot in with Epoch for better or worse.
He briefly howled out to Meadow. Quiet and soft. He didn't want to wake anyone. It could be heard, but not enough to disturb any of the younglings that made their home in the pack lands.
RE: We are the ones who will never be broken - Meadow - January 13, 2023
She didn’t sleep well these days—tossing and turning had become a rather common habit. So, after awhile, she gave up trying, and found herself poking through the snowy landscape of the vale, having to avoid a puddle of slush every so often, as the temperature had warmed to rain the past few days.
So lost in thought, it took her by surprise when Reyson called for her. Her eyes narrowed—muzzle swinging about. He had left—why was he here now?
With mild hesitance in her step, she began to search for him, trailing the direction of his call. Only when his massive frame was noticed by a large tree did she slow her steps, stopping now to study him. She didn’t know what to say—know how to feel.
So she took the route of caution. “Hi.”
RE: We are the ones who will never be broken - Reyson - January 13, 2023
Reyson often didn't sleep, though he had slept pretty well after given sleeping draughts. It was with nervous energy he moved about the new area. Looking and learning. Trying to stay out of the way.
Reyson looked up and offered her a smile, and then blew out a breath. He ran a paw along the dirt and then lifted his nose to study her.
A small sad smile.
Hi.
Eyes narrowed as he took her in. "You look tired Meadow, and I know that's my fault. I owe you an apology for a lot. But the biggest two, I'm sorry about what I said about the Pharaoh, that was shitty and uncalled for. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you came back, if you came back. I had another episode and wandered off, until um Germanicus found me.
He scuffed the dirt. He had more to say, but that was the gist of it for now. His move to Epoch his forced retirement, though also a bit of a choice, that was confusing. His conversation with Fennec. It could all be picked back up at a later time in the conversation.
RE: We are the ones who will never be broken - Meadow - January 14, 2023
In perfect Reyson fashion—he all but told her she looked like shit without actually saying it. She glowered at him, chin jutting forward, huffing at the initial words he spoke, her heart throbbing with both a fondness and hurt.
He drifted into an apology, and she listened quietly, amber eyes studying his features—the sadness, the way his paws scuffed at the snow and mud below the rain. An episode had pulled him away—and she found she wasn’t completely unsurprised. His scent had faded past their borders, and she had assumed at one point he would be back…. She just hadn’t known what he would say when he returned.
“I came back,” was what she offered first—cold, to the point. Had she been a human, this would have been the moment she would have gripped at her cardigan tightly, pulling it against her—a form of protection.
Instead, she remained still—a certain moment of fight or flight. “Why are you back in Epoch, Reyson?” It wasn’t like him to just ignore borders—duty was his call, above all else.
RE: We are the ones who will never be broken - Reyson - January 14, 2023
He hadn't meant it like it came out, but shit if it didn't just fall out of his mouth like an insult. He winced initially inwardly. And he knew she'd take it personal.
Shit i'm sorry. After I got back to Mereo and I woke up after a sleeping draught i realized I hadn't been where i told you I would be I came back twice since then, met a Phox at the borders. Second time joined up with Arsenio.
He shifted a well-muscled shoulder.
For a multitude of reasons. None of this is probably gonna come out right. So please bear with me until I get what i want to say right.
He took a deep breath.
I live here for one. Asked Arsenio to join.
He tilted his head and held up a paw.
Two I was retired, taken from duty, but I was going to give it up anyway. So that's neither here nor there.
Then while I was trying to figure out what to do to apologize. Lady Fennec basically told me i was a dipshit and if i really wanted to show you that i Loved you, then i needed to listen to what you weren't saying, which was that you wanted me to choose you above all else and not give you the choice to make. If that's true or not I don't know, but I decided then that I would choose Epoch, because you love it here and well as i said I love you, so here I am, even if you tell me to kick bricks.
He shifted in his nervous energy. He didn't expect the words back, they sort of fell off his tongue. And she could take them or throw them back. The mood she seemed to be in, he was betting on the latter.
RE: We are the ones who will never be broken - Meadow - January 14, 2023
Her heart hurt—for both of them, if she were honest. Her insecurities had begun to pull them apart, as she had assumed they would. His own mind was off kilter, at best, and she hesitated to wonder if it were from Akashingo or something that had been coming.
It hurt to know that he had to be forced into retirement just to finally come to Epoch—even though he countered it was not the true reason he left, it was still something that had to happen before he chose.
He had made a choice—and now he was here. Fennec had spoken to him—told him perhaps in words far more to the point and factual than she would have been able to. She had wanted him to choose her.
“I do love it here,” she began, her teeth worrying her lip as she shuffled, feeling entirely wrung out from everything that had happened over recent events. “But I love it because it has so much promise for… for us.”
RE: We are the ones who will never be broken - Reyson - January 14, 2023
Reyson had suffered from PTSD for some time. But he had begun to get a handle on it. Would it ever be completely healed probably not, but he could manage it. If he weren't in stressful situations anymore. And he owed Meadow a lot of honesty about it, but the thought of letting her know everything he saw, about Renaud. He wasn't ready for that. Not because she didn't need to know and he didn't plan to tell her, but simply because both of them had been through enough right now.
Reyson frowned and spoke softly.
Meadow even if I hadn't been retired I would have chosen Epoch for you. I didn't realize that you wanted me to choose. I thought I was being the nice guy, by letting you decide if you wanted me here. I'm sorry for that oversight, and frankly pure ego.
He smiled over her. Then moved and stopped, furrow in his brow.
Alright can i hug you, cause you sitting there looking cute as hell, and sad too is killing me.
RE: We are the ones who will never be broken - Meadow - January 14, 2023
She considered his words, a light frown pulling at the copper mask of her features. “I didn’t… It’s not as simple as me wanting you to choose, I just…” She considered her words, hoping she could make them come to light the way she felt them. “I just wanted you to know that it was me you wanted?”
He asked if she could hug her—and she felt a partial flinch in her heart at that. There was hurt there—not just from him, but the events of the days that had come to shadow her. But she knew for them to heal… They had to move on, somehow… Past this. Past the dark shadow of danger she had possibly cast on them and herself in regards to the Pharaoh. Past her self doubt. She had to trust him. “I’d like a hug,” she whispered.
RE: We are the ones who will never be broken - Reyson - January 14, 2023
god she's so cute.
Reyson blinked and nodded.
Well then let me tell you exactly what i told Lady Fennec when she asked me something similar.
He met her gaze without flinching.
I told her that I choose you, Meadow, I want you . I'd move heaven and earth for you if i could. Any storm i'd weather.He smiled lopsided and crooked, eyes clearer than they had been in days.
He moved forward and tugged her tightly to his chest. A bone weary sigh leaving his chest, the exhale of a man that had been on the edge and scared to death he was about to lose the only thing that mattered to him, really.
I'm sorry Meadow. And please if you're still mad at me, I can take it. Just talk to me okay. No matter what it is, please just talk to me about it.
He curled her tighter. His large front legs caging her in as tight a hug as he could muster. Muzzle brushed across her head.
RE: We are the ones who will never be broken - Meadow - January 14, 2023
He spoke—more importantly, he closed the distance between them and swept her closer to him. Protected in his embrace, it was like coming home in so many ways—and she tried so very hard to shake the feeling of apprehension from herself in that moment.
“I’m not mad… I’m…” She didn’t know—she felt hollow. Achingly empty. Her cheek pressed closer to his chest now, listening to the thrum of his heartbeat and trying to take solace that it still beat, as did the hearts of those she held dear now, in this life.
A life she was just so scared would be taken away by something she foolishly had done. Unknowingly or not, it fell to her shoulders. It was now her burden to bear.
“I’m disappointed in myself. I’m sad at everything that has happened… and now I’m just scared.” And she couldn’t even disclose the full details to Reyson—not without breaking her promise to Tamar.
RE: We are the ones who will never be broken - Reyson - January 14, 2023
Reyson didn't know what to say. This was out of the realm of his expertise. He was clueless when it came to relationships and emotions. Renaud had always just railed at him and told him straight what it was he needed.
Muzzle along her shoulder again, listening. A soft hum in his throat.
Well I can't promise that everything will be okay, but I will do my best to keep it okay. I'll talk to Arsenio and see what he knows about the Pharaoh. And maybe he and I can make a plan if something were to come of it.
He hugged her tighter.
I know why you're disappointed and I know you're having a hard time with it, but just know. You are loved, and not just by me. No one blames you and sometimes we are harder on ourselves than other wolves are.
RE: We are the ones who will never be broken - Meadow - January 15, 2023
He insisted no one blamed her but it was the aftermath she worried of—if something were to come of it, what then? How could they not blame the healer who had given the location and names of a pair of lovers who had fled their prior life?
She didn’t have the energy to even argue it with him—time would tell. When Tamar began to show signs of bearing another litter, their older children coming to the tender age of their first year and suddenly Akashingo was knocking on their doorstep? Her throat constricted.
So, instead, she focused on the thrum of Reyson’s heartbeat, digging deeper down, trying to find an ounce of the self she had been even just days before instead of this hollow shell.
RE: We are the ones who will never be broken - Reyson - January 15, 2023
The scarred soldier knew no one would blame her, but she was blaming herself. He knew that self-loathing. There was really nothing to be done for it. There were days where he still hated himself for being alive when all his soldiers were dead. But the acceptance came with time.
He had ever intention of finding Arsenio and finding out what they needed to do about teh potential threat that was the egyptian pharaoh, but now was not the time. This was a moment for him to at least get back to where they were before his brain rot ruined it all. Before Akashingo. It all came down to that place. He hoped it would be razed to the ground.
There were no words he had. He wasn't good at them anyway. But he did want to help, but he wasn't sure how. So he pulled her tighter against his chest. And took a few deep breaths. He wanted to ask her if they were okay now. If they were good, but he also felt that it wasn't the time.
RE: We are the ones who will never be broken - Meadow - January 15, 2023
He seemed to sense that right now, she had no words, and she appreciated that. He pulled her closer, and she curled into him. She could not speak how she felt about anything—could not have a conversation about where they stood, or what the future would bring. For now, she could grasp that she wanted them to be okay—and that it felt much better to be held by him than to sleep alone.
And so with a tired nudge, she hoped to lure him away, a place where they could settle for the night… Hoping, that perhaps she would find at least a little bit of peace in his arms while she slept, and perhaps find a part of herself once more.
Sometimes, sleep was the best medicine.
RE: We are the ones who will never be broken - Reyson - January 15, 2023
Last from me and thank you for the thread. These two are adorable to me <3
The veteran was not as smart as some of the wolves around, but he did know when he should keep his trap shut. And now seemed to be the time. Meadow curled into him, and for the moment they were alright. Would they have other disagreements, probably. But what mattered was that they worked through them or apologized.
He followed where she lead, realizing she wanted to find somewhere she wanted to sleep and he hoped she would fall asleep. she seemed to need it and he knew it was his fault in part.
He would curl as tightly as he could around her and let her drift off before he drifted himself.