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+--- Thread: Fairspell Meadow until you lose it all (/showthread.php?tid=54851)
until you lose it all - Ingram - February 24, 2023
being vague about some details since his departure thread is pending replies. <3
the morning is cloudy, carrying with it a pressing chill.
worry weighs each step ingram takes.
ash paw shouldn't have made this journey, despite that something good has come of it. she is too close to giving birth and ingram is eager to get her home so she can nest, so she can rest and focus on the harrowing weeks to come.
it feels colder, but ingram seeks @Ash Paw in the safety of the neutral territory; threadbones and feather of ma'at wrapped in a new skin — fox — for the journey.
RE: until you lose it all - RIP Ash Star - February 25, 2023
I also have to be vague since Silvertongue caught her into a thread for arrival. So if it's alright. WE can perhaps say in her thread with Silvertongue that Ingram is waiting outside of the territory for Ash to get permission to bring him nearer?
Ash Paw looked up to the sky with a frown on her face. She wasn't expecting weather of the like. She had only planned to get some herbs she needed, drop some off at Shingo and then return to her new pack. She was not expecting everything that had happened outside of her realm of thought. She wasn't upset with it, actually quite pleased. A low rumble of contentment drew in her throat.
She dipped her head upwards and closed her eyes letting what few rays of light she could gather from the overcast day.
RE: until you lose it all - Ingram - February 25, 2023
that's fine! you can just tag me/ingram when/if he's needed.
he finds her; basking in what few and fickle rays of sunshine she can catch.
chuff is loud but muffled by the fur in his mouth. his approach slows and he gingerly sets his wrappings down at his paws.
we should get going.worry for her drives the instinct to move but also his own desire to settle.
RE: until you lose it all - RIP Ash Star - February 25, 2023
<3
His presence was projected by soft footfalls and then a muffled chuff. She tilted her head and turned sky blues towards him.
He arrived with his thread bones, and for amoment she was glad for it. Not because she trusted them or believed in them 100%, but he did and that was important.
Yes we probably should. This way.
She dipped a muzzle the easiest and fastest way to get to riverclan and she briefly touched a nose to his shoulder. Eyes smiling up at him.
RE: until you lose it all - Ingram - February 25, 2023
with a soft inhale and softer smile at her touch upon his shoulder, ingram grabs his furs betwixt his jaws.
she takes the lead and ingram follows along dutifully, never more than half a pace behind her.
RE: until you lose it all - RIP Ash Star - February 25, 2023
the simple fact was she had to take frequent breaks to breathe, to urinate, to eat. But while she did she spoke of the leaders of Riverclan. That their names were Silvertongue and Crowfeather, that they disliked Akashingo, but hadn't told her why.
She tilted her head at the newest rest and sighed, lowering her head between her paws.
It was much easier a few days ago.
RE: until you lose it all - Ingram - February 25, 2023
ingram does not mind the multitude of breaks they take. it gives his jaw time to rest from the collection of threadbones. they do not weigh terribly much, sun dried and hollowed of marrow but it is additional weight all the same and the soft ache is only made worse by the chill that chases them.
they are having one such rest now.
while ash paw lays down, ingram stands guard; trying not to pace.
the patronsaint does not like being idle but he understands the need for it.
i thought i told you to send a messenger,ingram partially teases.
you should be home. nesting.a grumpy rumble; as useless as his words. she had come and if she hadn't ... would he be with her now? would things have turned out different?
as much as he wished she hadn't made the journey herself, he was glad for it all the same.
RE: until you lose it all - RIP Ash Star - February 25, 2023
The healer mage hadn't thought much about his poor jaw with carrying the bones, but as she took a moment to think. She realized it could be heavy, just from constant use. Even if it wasn't heavy. She shook her head. to clear the pregnancy brain.
She chuckles.
Would you listen to a messenger if they told you to do something that i told them to tell you? Of course you wouldn't.
She laughed.
I should be, and I will be. It's just gonna take us sometime.
She slowly got to her swollen feet, the rest of her she had to shift into a position that was more comfortable then she gave a slow nod of acceptance.
Do you think they will be healers, seers or nothing like us at all?
RE: until you lose it all - Ingram - February 25, 2023
not listening is half of my problem,a wiry smirk tugs at the edges of ingram's lips, voice lowering conspiratorially.
but you already knew that.
whether it was arrogance, or defiance or something else entirely ingram wasn't sure. wasn't too eager to delve all that deep into.
but if a messenger told me that it was close to your time and that you needed to see me ... i'd like to think i'd have moved heaven and hell to be there.taken any consequences he dug for himself along the way.
he knew they were possible, even yet. and nothing was set in stone with riverclan. there was a chance they may chase him away.
i hope that they are not like me.biological or not the thought that there would be an Ingram III causing terror — his food aggression in a mini me he could handle it was the matricide that worried him — is not a pleasant thought.
i can only hope i am a better father than i was son.
RE: until you lose it all - RIP Ash Star - February 25, 2023
A quiet chuckle and she nodded.
This is very true. But I find despite it all I'm rather fond of that part of you, when it isn't against me that is.
Ash Paw knew they were both proud and haughty and arrogant even. That was one of the reasons that despite that they got along, they also clashed at times. And she knew they would continue to do so. But that was alright.
I'm sure you would have.She knew he would have actually, because he despite his moments was a loyal at the very least.
She chuckled.
It would probably be better if they weren't like me either, as haughty as I can be.
I think we all hope for that, that we are better parents than we were children.
RE: until you lose it all - Ingram - February 25, 2023
alas,ingram drawls in a overly dramatic breath.
you may be the only one that finds it endearing.a small pause.
sometimes.he amends.
either way, ingram wasn't inclined to change. though perhaps, he considers as he casts a quick glimpse at her swollen sides, he might be persuaded.
becoming a father demanded change of him. this, the threadbones and feather of ma'at has told him. this, Osiris has whispered in the shadows of his dreams.
to balance being unyeilding and swallowing pride for the sake of his cubs. for the sake of his flamewife.
to learn what was worth breaking rank and what was worth falling into line for.
only time will tell.ingram murmurs.
i ...had a father. figure. once. mahler is his name,what he remembers most vividly of the gargoyle was the perceived hatred and anger when ingram told him that he'd killed praimfaya.
i always believed he was my biological father... if there's truth to that or not, my mother took it with her to her grave.he doesn't think he's ever told ash paw about mahler though he thinks he's told her about praimfaya.
about committing matricide.
he's a good man. was a good father to me. i was just ...too stupid and arrogant and angry to realize it.but ingram'd made his choices and didn't lean on the side of living with regret. still, with facing being a father himself meant he couldn't keep running from his demons.
i've been thinking about him a lot lately.a soft confession — the one of what felt like many lately.
RE: until you lose it all - RIP Ash Star - February 26, 2023
Blue eyes lit up with laughter as she chuckled at his amended statement, though it was true. Sometimes she liked it and sometimes. Well sometimes, she wanted to rip his face off, there was no inbetween. But he was probably the only one that could handle her prickliness too.
The calico knew that everyone changed with parenthood, even if it were in small ways. It was done. It was just the way of things.
Ash had to dig deep in her memories. Ah yes she remembered the mother thing. She hadn't been one to get horrified easily. If he had done it, it must have been for a reason, or maybe it wasn't, but who was she to decide. It was not her place to judge others. If they needed judged Sos or Atka would put judgement upon them, or whatever gods they believed in.
I know that well. I didn't know my mother druissa. She died in child birth, but she was older than she should have been to be having children. But my father ShadowDancer, did his best with what he could. But I was a bit of a problem child. I wish I hadn't been so hard on him.
I think we all do that as we start to have children, in the turning of ages. Perhaps you can take some of his lessons now and pass them on?
RE: until you lose it all - Ingram - February 26, 2023
maybe,ingram allows in a soft hum; seaglass gaze roving the landscape 'round them, alert though trying not to appear so.
a part of ingram wished that things hadn't been as bad as they had been, that his cubs could know mahler. that it wasn't too late to prove that he's grown and changed. did he regret killing praimfaya? no. but he paid the consequences of it daily and nightly. she haunts his dreams, two of her ribs have a home in his threadbones.
the kill marks she left upon his muzzle serve as a physical reminder.
perhaps if he hadn't went to mahler so boastful, perhaps if he'd told the truth: praimfaya had been sick and upon her deathbed when he'd found her. he'd given her a heda's death maybe ... just maybe mahler wouldn't hate him.
it was funny, in a non ironic way how the bridges he'd happily burned as a boy came back to haunt him as a man.
a movement caught out the corner of his eye jerks ingram's muzzle in it's direction, upper lip curling back and a low growl rumbling in his chest. only to let the tension slip from his shoulders silksmooth when he realized it was a rabbit; spooked.
are you hungry?ingram asks then, the rabbit a not so subtle reminder that he needs to be attentive to her needs.
RE: until you lose it all - RIP Ash Star - February 27, 2023
The mage always thought that everyone was adept to change. Everything you went through changed you, you were always growing and changing. Whether it was always a good thing, that was an argument for a different day, but change was inevitable in some way, shape or form.
His growl startled her and head flew up, blue eyes wide, but she saw the rabbit as he did and calmed down, though she suddenly felt very ill. And a sharp pain began in her abdomen, but it quickly receded.
She tilted her head and chuckled.
Of course I am. I am always hungry. These children. Goodness.
RE: until you lose it all - Ingram - February 28, 2023
felt like a good place to wrap! <3
worry flickers to life across his face, noting how his growl had startled her. in true ingram fashion, he does not apologize but offers a soft nuzzle to her cheek ... as close to an apologize as he would get; more of an effort to soothe.
with her confirmation, he leaves her side reluctantly to hunt the rabbit that had been the cause of that small chain reaction.
luckily, it hadn't strayed too far.
it was an easy catch for ingram who brought it back to ash paw. once she had finished it, with his soft suggestion that they keep moving — for he is eager to see her safely within the borders of the riverclan! — they continue on their trip, ingram being her shadow attached to her hip.