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+--- Thread: Redtail Rise the past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore (/showthread.php?tid=54856)
the past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore - Aventus - February 24, 2023
Not actually at Redtail Rise but somewhere nearby, posted here for visibility.
Redtail Rise loomed ahead. They could reach it in a matter of hours, but Aventus called a halt for the night. They would finish their journey in the morning after a hunt, or at least that is what he told @Ancelin before the boy — a fully grown young man, now — drifted off to sleep.
Aventus remained awake, mulling over all. The ragged shreds of his heart had hardly begun to stitch themselves together before Arielle went missing once again. He was convinced she had not been there at all, but even regaining and losing an image of her was unimaginably painful for him. So much so that recovery now seemed impossible.
They had not found @Atreus, and now Aventus was not sure he wanted to. The boy was either dead or living a life better than the one Aventus had tried to provide; who was he to interfere?
Redtail Rise had gone to war. He had not gone with them. Had they returned by now? Victorious? He wanted to hear with his own ears how @Avicus had torn Nyra's throat from her worthless body and ended the bitch's reign of terror over their family, but he felt he was hardly worthy to return to the Rise at all, much less share in their victory.
No; Aventus would never earn the pack's trust or regard after how unavailable he had been over the past year, and that would trickle down to affect Ancelin's standing as well. He glanced over at his sleeping son and made up his mind.
One son had found a better life (he hoped).
It was time now for the other to find his.
He reached over to gently touch the tip of his muzzle to his son's temple, inhaling Ancelin's scent and swallowing back a barrage of emotions he could not allow himself to feel or show. With that simple gesture, Aventus allowed the remaining tatters of his heart to curl and blacken at the edges.
He was a failure of a son.
A failure of a brother.
A failure of a mate.
A failure of a leader.
A failure of a father, but for Ancelin, he could do this one last duty. No longer would the shadow of Aventus loom over the boy. No longer would the ghosts that haunted him darken the doorstep of Redtail Rise. In his absence, Ancelin would grow into his own and have a better life than he ever would with Aventus in it. In this way, he could grant his son freedom he had never felt belonged to him.
There could be no warning. No goodbye. Ancelin would want to come with him, and Aventus felt his odious presence could only cause the boy pain and suffering. It was better if he did not know, even if it meant he would hate his father for it, than to subject him to what Aventus had endured in life.
When the boy awoke in the morning, he would do so alone with the corpse of a hare stiff in the snow next to him. Of Aventus, there remained only foot prints.
Perhaps he would find @Arielle out there, or perhaps he would wander for the rest of his miserable days in search of meaning; but he would do so without his sons, who would live better lives for it. They would never know how the lost, broken man who was their father would wish endlessly for their health and success and, yes, forgiveness, even in knowing he would never have nor deserve it.