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Jade Fern Grove I tried. - Printable Version

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I tried. - Bonario - August 04, 2023

Mature Content Warning


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The participants have indicated the following reason(s) for this warning: Gore/Possible death!
Bonnie is seriously injured! Possibility of death without intervention. OOC'd fight outcome. AW, tags for reference.  A few hours after Ascend into the night.


He tried.


For only so many miles, his legs took him back to the ferns. He collapsed. The river ran ahead of him. He could see its gentle flow beyond the foliage within his vision. His paws could almost touch it. There was the gentle noise of its quiet flow. He heard sounds he'd never had the chance to hear before. He smelled scents he'd never noticed. When the trees gently moved, they crackled and waved. Waved. They were waving at him. The soil had a deep scent to it. The grass was soft, for what little of it touched him. The river was beautiful. He inhaled a soft breath, shaky and rigid.


Blood seeped from deep wounds burrowed in his throat. His fur was matted in red, neck ached after it had been mauled for longer than he could remember. His cheek was warm from his own blood. His legs were nipped and torn. His flank had patches of fur missing. His eyes were glazed over with empty, tireless pain, lids half-closed and unmoving. He stared ahead of him, quiet.


He didn't know how he got here. In the moment, in a pit of dead, violent rage and a whelp he felt need to protect, he'd seen nothing but red. It made him do unspeakable things to that woman. He wanted to kill her. He wanted to hurt her. Limb from limb. No matter what pain he felt, he found himself unable to stop. Unable to think. His thoughts from those few hours ago were nothing but a fuzzy memory. After a certain point, he could no longer hear her. He didn't know what he was doing. He saw himself in that pup. Having no guardian. Being brought out into the world in tragedy. Searching for a parental figure that was not there. Clinging to a life. Being alone. He didn't know what he thought he had been doing. He guessed he just couldn't take it. By the time Wren told him of who she was, he had made his mistake. He had made his error. And then he couldn't stop. He learned too late. He knew it then it would no longer fix it.


And he lost.


The muscles in his ears had stopped working. No longer could he tighten them or turn them. His front right paw twitched once. He could not open his mouth if he tried to call for aid. There he lay, alone, towards the end of the grove, but still thick in woods. His blood trailed down into the water and made careful way downstream. A part of him wondered if he'd headed this way to get closer to Kvarsheim.


Not that it mattered.
No one would come.
No one would miss him.
He knew that.
It was okay.


Limp on his side, he took in another shallow breath through his open lips, his eyes settled on nothing but the view before him. The crickets were not singing so loudly tonight. He couldn't move anymore. He tried to twitch his ears again, and no matter how hard he tried, no matter how desperate the attempt, he could not.


He wished he'd known his father. He wished he'd known his mother. He wished he'd not hurt his gramps. He wished things had gone differently. He wished he'd had other paths. He wished he'd stayed back. He wished he had someone to think of. He wished he'd done something meaningful in his life. He wished he'd been given another option in life. He wished he could think of someone to call that might care. He wished it hurt him more that he couldn't. He wished he could feel more about it, but the thought was not new, and he could not exhaust over it. He knew that already. He wondered if he could think of something he'd done that had been different, apart from the time he'd brought gramps a lizard. Gramps didn't like it. He supposed that he'd brought @Gunnar that rabbit some time ago. He fucked that up too. He guessed that @Tauris got what she wanted then. Maybe he'd wisp away now. He could at least do that for someone. For anyone. She was right. There was no place for him.


The night was pretty. If there was any place to die, he thought this one wasn't so bad. All he was doing was waiting to die, limp and quiet, spare for the clicking clench of his throat when he fought for a gentle breath of air to enter his lungs. He wondered which one would be his last. He'd never felt this calm.



RE: I tried. - Kestrelcloud - August 04, 2023

They were just returning. Kel really didn't expect anything to happen; his journey with @Doedapple had been uneventful, quiet, soothing. Exactly what they both needed after the loss they'd suffered. He thought they would go home, take a much needed nap, and resume their duties. He hoped.

Of course life had other plans.

He parted from Doedapple's company to hunt, determined to keep her well fed now that she had started to eat again. But rather than finding the trail of some prey animal, he found a blood trail. Wolf blood. Kel swore under his breath and followed, calling briefly for the woman he loved. He didn't wait for her.

Hey, He called out gently when he spotted the man, heavily injured. Kel tensed, remembering Lestan. Still he pressed forward, keeping a safe distance between them even as he approached. Hey, I'm a medic - ah, kind of. Point is, I can help. He glanced behind him, hoping Doedapple would show up soon and simultaneously hoping she would ignore his call. Did she really need this right now? Could he handle it alone?

He remembered again his experience with the Swiftcurrent Creek man, and took a deep breath, and steadied himself. He could do this.


RE: I tried. - Gunnar - August 04, 2023

A child had been brought to them, swiftly. Arric could give him no answers. Only that he was looking into. The giant man and the young girl he had brought. They both looked on edge of collapse, but Arric had been adamant that he go back. He had hugged the little one @Mae as tight a she could. And had settled the youngling next to the female Inkeri and then he had fled back into the night. Back into darkness, that matched his fur. The red tint adn blue of his eyes all you could see.

So Gunnar had gone out searching and he found the child that he had taken in. And his heart heavy. He raced forward. KestrelCloud, right? He had met him once? Hadn't he? He didn't know.

What can I do to help. Bonnie? Oh Lad. What happened?

Bonnie was hot headed, but he was certain he wouldn't hurt without a reason. He had to have a reason right? There had to be something.

This is a son of Kvarsheim. Please help him.

They could find answers later.


RE: I tried. - Bonario - August 04, 2023

Some powerplay is okay! He's limp.


There was a voice. He couldn't hear it very well. He couldn't tell if he recognized it; only that it was there, somewhere. To his left, right, behind him, he couldn't discern. It was then he was learning that the sound he heard was not just the river, but the close trickle of his own blood. They had been the only things he could focus on anymore. Then, there was another one. He couldn't hear that one very well either, but he knew it was familiar. He knew he knew that voice, somewhere. He didn't know very many people. There were only so many. 


Gunnar.


He thought so.


At some point, he thought that he just didn't want to respond to him and that's why he hadn't, but he soon was brought to the reality that he did not have the energy to. The only thing he could do was stare ahead, look over with his eyes to things that came close, and try to accept that something was happening. This must have not been surprising to him. This was exactly what was expected of him. What more was there to expect?
Bonario was no longer sure how long he'd been resting here.



RE: I tried. - Kestrelcloud - August 04, 2023

The old leader of Kvarsheim arrived, and Kel was grateful for his presence. Still, he wished for Doedapple, or Ash Paw, even Silvertongue. He felt momentarily lost.

Then he remembered himself, and straightened. Moss first, Kel said firmly. To stop the bleeding. He turned in search of it; with the recent rains, it was plentiful and not hard to find. Kestrelcloud went back to the man whose name he didn't know and started to press the moss to the places where the bleeding was the worst. He let himself fall into the tedious work, and thought of nothing at all.


RE: I tried. - Gunnar - August 04, 2023

Gunnar moved to gather the moss for the healer. He was lucky it was abundant. Then he returned to wait for more. He could even run and get other healers if this one wanted it. He was old, and couldn't move as fast as he had once, but he could still push it if he needed. His body would only protest a little in the morning, okay well a lot, but that was neither here nor there.

He took time to lick the face of Bonnie. Make sure the youth saw him with his wide eyes. He was old not stupid and knew well what shock could do. It could kill you quicker than awound sometimes.


RE: I tried. - Germanicus - August 04, 2023

only post! PP germ helping in any way! <3

danger upon the borders. blood upon the wind.

a scent he knew well.

germanicus found gunnar and a riverclan man working over another wolf he only vaguely recognized.

a downed creature. war wounds.

he thought of meadow. he 

"let me gather your supplies," he said quietly, stooping down beside the patriarch and the healer. "tell me what to do."

he thought of fennec.

"i can go to riverclan for another," he offered in another breath.

he thought of moss. how long it had been. he wished to know, but knew he could not ever.



RE: I tried. - Bonario - August 05, 2023

At some point, he couldn't twitch his paw anymore. Feelings felt so little. In his chest, he could hardly pull emotion. In his body, there was so much pain that he no longer knew how to express it. He also figured that there was no true point in expressing it. He expected no savior, and just the release of his soul flickering out of existence. Bonnie then wondered if he had a soul. If he did, he wondered if it was the warmth he felt in his head right now, or if it might have been the cold on his throat. If he had a soul, would he feel it? And then Bonnie thought that he didn't have one of those. Those were for good people.
But if he did, he thought its exit from his body might feel nice, just once.

Gunnar reached over to grab his face and pull the rest of his figure into the water to rest. There, he'd be clean, and then it would be over with. Then, he knew, that was easier disposal, and that it was the reasonable answer for being sick of him.

Instead, Gunnar's open mouth crossed a gentle tongue to his fur, as if the blood and dirt smeared across his pelt did not matter. No lung was drowned in the river. Two gazes met in silence: there was the hollow dead of his own, and in a man greater than himself, something much deeper. No one had ever done that before. Bonnie thought it felt nice, if it actually happened. Oh, and then he knew how disappointed he must've been in him. 

Then another voice. He thought he'd heard that one before too, somewhere. Every voice grew dimmer and dimmer to him. He felt sleepy. Did Gunnar notice he felt sleepy? He wasn't trying to fall asleep on him and be that appalling. He just felt so heavy, he felt like he couldn't help himself. Silently, he tried to stay awake. The stranger who came first brought some feeling of relief. His bleeding would slowly stop and the strangers work would subtly show, but it would certainly take time.

So sleepy.



RE: I tried. - Kestrelcloud - August 05, 2023

Another Kvarsheim wolf. Kel nodded distantly, but all of his focus was for the wounded man. He smelled of Swiftcurrent Creek. The healer tensed but said nothing of it. He gave quiet directions to Germanicus and Gunnar, sending them each in search of different herbs he would need. No point in waiting for another healer; they needed to work quickly. If Kel couldn't save him, then he was already dead.

He didn't let himself wish for Doedapple. He didn't let himself worry. Kestrelcloud gave himself wholly over to his work, something more straightforward than what he was used to but somehow infinitely more obscure. It was all gentle paws and detachment, eyes on the bloody details, not thinking about how he had come by these wounds or how close to death he was now. The wounds at his throat were of most concern, so he focused there first. The rest could wait.


RE: I tried. - Gunnar - August 07, 2023

gunnar can be pped and skipped

Gunnar was at a loss and confused. There was so much that he didn't know. And Bonnie smelled like the creek wolves, but why.

He shook his head now was not the time. If Akavir didn't come to him he'd go there for answers. But first it was time to bring bonnie back from death if they could.


RE: I tried. - Bonario - August 07, 2023

Wrapping up! 


Soon, it was just the sound of his heart. His muscles were in a lock, stiff and unmoving, paralyzed from the tip of his ears to the base of his tail. His breathing came to a slow, and after the trees formed into strange shapes with fuzzy edges. One sharp, final breath, and then he drifted into sleep where he'd spend the next long hours trapped in rest. His bleeding would slow, and his air would soften with a slow rise and fall of his chest. Bonnie needed sleep. Wakefulness fled.
Whatever happened to him from there fell into the claws and souls of the beings around him. And for these next few hours, days, his resting will to live would be slim. Diligence was needed.



RE: I tried. - Kestrelcloud - August 07, 2023

When the man was stabilized and his wounds wrapped with an antiseptic mixture, Kel finally stepped back and allowed himself to breathe. Doedapple was nowhere in sight. Asleep, most likely, and for now he would not disturb her. He turned to the two men with tired eyes.

He's stable for now. Can you two get him to Riverclan? I have to go back for my - Kel fumbled. Companion. He mentally kicked himself, but only for a moment. She's more experienced, and our supplies are in Riverclan.

He relaxed slightly when they agreed, but Kel would remain on edge until he and @Doedapple were safely within the borders and tending their patient. He cast one more concerned look at the man, then nodded once to Gunnar and Germanicus, and turned to find Doedapple. Kel sighed to himself. Another delay...

At this rate, he would never find the right moment to ask her to marry him.