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+--- Thread: Blacktail Deer Plateau The hardest was losing you (/showthread.php?tid=5745)
The hardest was losing you - Saēna - November 10, 2014
@Junior
So much had happened in so few days. Saena did the best she could to cope with it, but recent events were beginning to overwhelm her and panic clawed its way up her throat at regular intervals through the days. She tried to focus on her usual Naturalist training but it was no use; her mind was too crowded with negative feelings and theories lately. She'd inaccurately predicted another snowfall yesterday, but the ground was still bare, lending to the growing feeling that she was losing control of her life.
Saena was still angry Peregrine hadn't bothered to see his kids. She'd been relieved about convincing Finley to stay but now, several days later, she felt both guilt and disgust. Why would she talk a traitor into coming back? Finley left them once, what was to stop her doing it again? She wanted to tell the black and white female to go back to her traitor's paradise, but felt even guiltier when those thoughts crept up on her. All these things gave Saena a somewhat anxious, distracted look.
And now, not an hour ago, Saena'd finally got word of Junior's injuries. The juvenile wasted no time in hunting down a small mouse (its leg was broken, to which she owed her success) and carrying it to the healer's den. The entire way there, her stomach fluttered and her heart hammered—why now, of all times, did her sister have to get hurt, too? Hadn't Osprey Jr.—and herself—had enough lately?
Junior was housed inside, right where Saena expected her to be. Finley was still there as well, but because of her turmoil regarding her talk with the Redhawk Beta, Saena ignored her as she slid into the den. "Junior," she said in a voice laden with concern, "are you all right? Here, I got you this," and she pushed the mouse toward her sister, regretting that its fur was slick with saliva.
In the darkness, she couldn't see Junior's injuries nor guess the nature of them, but the smell of herbs was thick in the hot air of the den, threaded slightly with the putrid scent of infection. A shrill whistle blew out of her nose as she lowered her head to her own forelegs, peering intently at Junior but unable to find the words of comfort she wished to say.
RE: The hardest was losing you - Junior - November 10, 2014
The air was unseasonably warm, or at least it felt that way to Junior. She tried to sleep, yet all she could do was fidget restlessly and lift her head to pant every quarter of an hour. She kept shooting glances at Finley, who seemed to be resting comfortably despite the stuffiness in the den. Junior was about to open her mouth and disrupt the female's sleep to ask, Is it just me or is it hotter'n hell in here?!
But Saēna appeared as if by magic and Junior briefly wondered if she had a fever (well, duh) and whether her sister was a mirage. She felt the bump against her paw when Saēna pushed the dead mouse toward her and she flinched away instinctively, fearing any sort of contact with her forelimbs. But at least it let her know that this (most likely) wasn't a fever dream.
"Thanks. Wait. You're actually here, right? I think I'm running a fever. I feel like fucking shit." She paused, blinked loudly, then realized this was the first time she'd seen Saēna since the incident. "Er, besides feeling like garbage, I'm okay. Aunt Willow's taking good care of me." As she spoke, she tried to snake her legs beneath her chest and out of sight, yet the pain stopped her, causing her to gasp and bite her tongue.
RE: The hardest was losing you - Saēna - November 10, 2014
She chuckled heartily when Junior asked if she was a mirage, then quickly cast a glance back at Finley. The Redhawk wolf hadn't moved. "I'm real," she said with an amused grin, though when she looked back in time to catch Junior's gasp, the grin melted away. Now wasn't the right time for Saena to poke fun at anyone. This was just as well; the source of Junior's injuries made the matter as far from a laughing one as possible, whether or not Saena knew it.
She settled herself more comfortably, propped on her elbows with her hind legs kicked out to the side. Her stomach bunched to her side, revealing for the first time the healthy bit of pudge that had accumulated there as she got older. "I'd expect nothing less of Aunt Willow," Saena said, suddenly grateful for the Beta female's abilities. "But what happened to you? They said your legs were badly infected. Did you fall and scrape them on something...?"
RE: The hardest was losing you - Junior - November 11, 2014
Saēna posed the inevitable question: What happened? Junior's ears drew back and she scrambled for some sort of reasonable explanation that wasn't, of course, the truth. She came up with nothing. Then she suddenly remembered those first few moments after waking up to find Blue Willow, Lasher and some strange pup hovering over her.
"I don't know," she fibbed, hoping that would be enough to satisfy Saēna but knowing it wouldn't be. This was the pack's gossip, after all. "But, yeah, I have an infection. That's why I'm running a fever and having crazy dreams. And probably why it feels so fucking hot in here."
Junior suddenly sat upright and pushed past her pale sister, approaching the doorway and then swinging around to seat herself with her back to the outdoors. "That's a little better," she murmured, then hoping to keep Saēna's attention off her legs, she said, "I had a dream last night that you and I changed our names. I forget what we changed them to. But when I woke up, it gave me an idea. Now that we're effectively orphans, what do you think of coming up with our own last name? I don't think I want to be a Redleaf-DiSarinno anymore."
RE: The hardest was losing you - Saēna - November 11, 2014
"Are you sure? You don't remember anything?" Saena pressed, but she did so half-heartedly. If there was anyone she wouldn't drill too much for information, it was Junior. She hadn't forgotten the way her elder sister used to torment her with dominance displays and physical punishment. Saena didn't believe the dark Redleaf-DiSarinno was capable of it now, but she was nevertheless wary about pushing Junior over any sort of edge.
"It is pretty hot in here," she said fairly, likely because the den currently housed three wolves including herself. As Junior repositioned herself, Saena kept an eye out for any indication of what was causing her sister's infection, but aside from the scent and a limp that could've indicated anything, there were no direct signs. She was unable to see the tattered insides of Junior's forearms. Saena would have been horrified if she'd seen them and suspected anything, anyway.
She giggled when Junior started telling her a story about how they'd changed their names, then stopped when it became clear her sister was actually thinking about it. Saena couldn't help but think back to Osprey and their talk about their extensive family tree and wondering if it would be taken poorly if they sawed their branch off of it... but then she remembered Osprey defending her father's actions and didn't feel so bad about it.
"Let's do it," she encouraged Junior, letting her eyes wander to Finley, and then her lip lifted almost contemptuously. "Dad came to visit her, you know, but didn't even try to visit us. I don't want to see him ever again anyway, but he could've tried. He cares more about her than us." Fox was understandable, even if Saena refused to be understanding about it at all, but Finley wasn't his mate. "She... tried telling me that dad left the Plateau to us, but I think she's giving him too much credit. He's cut us right out of his life, hasn't he? You're right... We're orphans. But that's okay, we can make our own family, and fuck all of them."
RE: The hardest was losing you - Junior - November 12, 2014
Junior shook her head silently and, to her relief, the subject was dropped, at least for now. She shifted her weight onto her left hip—the right smarted a bit from falling onto it, not that she could remember—and cocked her ears toward her pale sister as she shared her opinion on the matter of names. Never before had Junior considered that her father had left the plateau to them, mostly because not a single soul had ever mentioned the possibility. Therefore, she dismissed it as more coddling and lies.
"I know. I saw him going to Blue Willow's den and I meant to tell you but I couldn't find you. Then I saw him and Lasher as he was leaving. They were holding hands." Junior's mouth puckered and she fought the urge to begin crying when she recollected what she'd done to herself in the wake of that sight. "You're right, he could have tried but he didn't. He probably knows we're not happy with him but that's not an excuse just to avoid us entirely. He obviously didn't do that to Lasher!"
Her lips twitched faintly at Saēna's swearing. She was heartbroken by these turn of events, yet her sister's solidarity was heartening. "We can share it with Ty and Pura too, if they come home." Junior sighed softly. Pura's absence was really not that surprising—he had always been a loner at heart—but she still missed Tytonidae and felt responsible for her disappearance. She just hoped that her sister would one day make her way back to the plateau, whereupon Junior would apologize and they could reconcile. The new surname could be like redemption.
"I don't believe for a second that dad—that Peregrine—meant to leave this plateau to us. But he isn't wrong. It is sort of like our birthright. Not that I want to usurp Dante or Blue Willow," Junior said hastily, "but... what if we took its name as our last name? Blacktail? We would be the pack's children, rather than Peregrine's and Hawkeye's. I mean, that's what we are already, right?"
RE: The hardest was losing you - Saēna - November 12, 2014
It was at once empowering and depressing to hear Junior refer to their father by name. The two had been so close once that it was almost impossible to imagine Peregrine would neglect her so... but Saena had seen enough proof of it not to question it. What was interesting was that Peregrine took the time to visit with Lasher. It was so interesting that she felt a wave of hot, bitter jealousy crash through her stomach. "Prick," she quietly spat, more to herself than anyone.
She might have openly denounced Peregrine, but there were days she imagined he'd come back and apologize for what he'd done to them and acknowledge that he could never do right by them for it, and she knew she'd forgive him if he did that. A small, oppressed part of her desperately wanted to believe what Osprey'd said about Peregrine not giving up on his family, but Saena knew now that it simply wasn't true.
She thought only briefly of their other siblings. It seemed far-fetched that Pura would ever rejoin the pack, and Saena was doing all in her power to quell her guilt over Tytonidae's disappearance. She blamed herself for it, but was unwilling to say it aloud. "Yeah," she said a little weakly, but she mustered a convincingly hopeful smile.
"Right," said Saena when Junior'd finished, "you're brilliant, Ju. I think it's perfect." She settled on her haunches as best she could, stooping so she didn't hit the top of the den with her head, and then she asked, "d'you think you'll ever be Alpha? It is your birthright, I mean... what if Dante offered it to you?" She had a brief moment where she wished she'd also been born to lead a pack, but her aspirations weren't lofty enough for that feeling to last long. She was never really meant to be an Alpha, herself, and knew she was much too loyal to everyone here, particularly Junior, to ever really branch off on her own.
RE: The hardest was losing you - Junior - November 12, 2014
A moment after suggesting it, it occurred to Junior that it might be strange for Saena to bear such a surname, when her tail was red. It wasn't about them, though, but the namesake deer herd that gave the plateau its name. Still, she halfway expected a protest. When she received nothing but praise and agreement instead, her tail thumped quietly.
"Junior and Saena Blacktail," she said, trying it out. It was probably weird to take Junior as her first name, yet the youth was ready to formally shed the name she never used anyway, the moniker given to her by her now estranged parents. She told herself that Aunt Osprey wouldn't mind having her name all to herself again. "Pura Blacktail. Tytonidae Blacktail," she murmured for good measure.
The older juvenile's eyes squinted at Saena's unexpected inquiry. "Why would it be my birthright and not yours or Ty's or Pura's?" she countered. Junior truly didn't make a distinction between her biological and adoptive siblings. "I don't know. I've never thought about it. But..." Junior thought back on her conversation with the Alpha male a week ago. "I have a secret I want to tell you." She paused. "I kind of have a crush on him. Dante."
RE: The hardest was losing you - Saēna - December 11, 2014
We can fade this since you're putting Junior aside!
It seemed only natural that Junior, being the most assertive of her siblings in most cases as well as the strongest with the exception of the absent Pura, be the pack's heir. Though at times Saena entertained the notion of what leading would be like, she suspected the only way she'd ever know would be to disperse from this pack. She didn't consider herself in the running for eventual leader.
"Suits you best," she said matter-of-factly. "It doesn't suit Ty and Pura isn't even here, and I'd rather it be you than me." She almost went on to point out that she was too immature to be a leader, but the promise of a secret made her shut her mouth and lean forward.
"Shut. Up." Saena said with a huge, teasing grin. She herself had seemingly no interest in boys, so to know Junior viewed Dante that way was not vicariously exciting, but also perfect. "Oh, you have to tell him! It's like, meant to be! You're the obvious choice for heir and Dante's the Alpha now, so you'd share the rank anyway!" Saena barely contained herself enough to keep from pouncing on Junior in a fit of giggles. Now she'd have to be Alpha! Of course, it didn't really occur to her that Dante might not return Junior's feelings—she felt it was much too perfect for that nonsense.
RE: The hardest was losing you - Junior - December 15, 2014
My last Junior post... :]
Junior didn't necessarily agree with that. She might have been more classically leader-like in the sense that she was assertive, yet she considered Saena more balanced and certainly more capable of diplomacy. She was pretty much right about their brother and sister, though, a thought which made the teenager frown thoughtfully.
Saena urged her to shut up and Junior was only perplexed for half a second. Her lips parted in a wolfish laugh. She felt her cheeks flush with both embarrassment and pleasure. "No way!" she protested when Saena urged her to tell him. "And don't you tell him either!" she warned, mismatched eyes growing wide. "I'm sure he doesn't feel the same way. I mean..." She meant to say, Look at me, but they'd already been over Junior's self-deprecation.
The dark youth suddenly remembered Finley and looked sharply in her direction. She really didn't want the word getting out, so she motioned for Saena to shush and said, "I think I'm gonna get some rest. Will you come see me again later? Pretty please with a moose pie on top?" Junior giggled a bit drunkenly as she flopped to the ground mid-sentence, eyelids fluttering as she tried to think cooling thoughts.
RE: The hardest was losing you - Saēna - December 17, 2014
"Well, he might if he knew," Saena teasted, though she had no intention of going against Junior's request, at least as long as she was here. That she would later go back on this silently given vow was probably a given, knowing her need for gossip, but for now, she was going to be an honourable sibling. She didn't plan to press the subject further, and Junior confirmed that it would go no further by dismissing herself for some rest.
"Of course," said Saena, leaning forward to gingerly lick Junior's cheek as she flopped to the ground. The Blacktails had to stick together, now more than ever. She would never leave Junior's side so long as they called this Plateau home, and if her sister wanted her to come wade in a puddle of shit with her, then Saena would do that too. She stood and slowly backed away from her ill sibling, smiling and whispering, "I promise I won't tell," before slipping out of the den and into the snowy forest.