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+--- Thread: Swiftcurrent Creek It's getting dark in this heart of mine. (/showthread.php?tid=5778)
It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Paarthurnax - November 12, 2014
For @Scimitar if you have time. :)
Her encounter with Falwasi had been an unpleasant one, and something she'd come to expect from wolves of the Creek that Shadow had irritated in one way or another. She understood their frustration with him, and even with her for her former bond with him... but Paarthurnax couldn't help but feel that she was being treated unfairly. Two established Swiftcurrent followers had approached her as though she was wearing a massive "come at me" target on her forehead, and naturally she took it personally, and so when she departed the earthy Iota's company she made to actively seek the company of her Alpha.
There was much to tell him, primarily of the visit she had received through the night from her former mate. Most of all she just needed someone, someone to lean on, and she could think of no wolf more suitable for the role than the one who'd always been willing to support her, no matter what. She only hoped that he was still willing to be the rock she yearned for, though nervousness quickened her heart.
The sky was navy, swathed in pastel shades of pink and orange, and Paarthurnax paused on the outskirts of a small clearing atop a hill that looked out over the territory's namesake. She gazed over the land for a short while before, canting her muzzle heavenward, sent forth a song that requested a private audience with her leader.
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Scimitar - November 13, 2014
A few days had passed with Paarthurnax settled once more in to their land – the cinnamon male had scouted the edges of his borders tenfold with the concern that Shadow or one of his comrades would come from her, but thus far, no scent of the previous Creek member had come upon his borders. He had also warned Dovev of the possibilities of the male’s presence, as well as Galileo.. but the others, he had not notified. He was hoping Kaskara would be back from her trip soon, so he could call a pack meeting and discuss potential action plans at that point.
That, and he was certain the desert beauty needed the dust in her life to settle, if only for a few nights.
He was surprised when she called for him for this certain reason alone, and giving his thick pelt a shake, the Frostfur pulled away from the pack borders, his pace swift as he moved in the direction of her song. She was outlined by the setting sun – brilliant crimsons and golds settled upon ivory as the sun began its descent behind the hilltop she firmly stood. As he loped up, his bright eyes regarded her solemnly, questioningly. “Evening,” he offered as he closed the distance between them, opting to halt a respectful distance away from the pack’s previous healer.
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Paarthurnax - November 13, 2014
Scimitar came to her, but did not move in to greet her physically and instead placed some distance between them. The part of her that craved the affection and support of another tugged at her already raw heartstrings, but she understood his distance considering the compromising position he'd found himself in on one of their previous encounters. It was simply far too soon to expect normality following the enormous guilt he felt. She looked up at her Alpha, her ears tilted back and a soft, sad smile pulling at the corner of her mouth.
"Shadow came looking for me," she said at once, unwilling to beat around the bush. "He was wounded, and he now knows that I'm expecting." And he thinks I'm trying to keep them from him.. She supposed she had been, for since her departure Paar had hoped that her former mate would not pursue her. He did have a right to see his offspring just as they would have the right to know their father... but she was not sure that Scimitar would grant permission to Shadow to enter his territory no matter how many guards escorted him.
She did not yet continue, as she tried to gauge the cinnamon Alpha's reaction. Paarthurnax worried that he would be angry with her for going to Shadow without the aid of a pack-mate, for anything could have happened considering her former partner's unpredictable nature. "He was unhappy that I kept it from him, but I don't think he would bring harm to the home and mother of his pups."
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Scimitar - November 22, 2014
As the words slipped past her lips, Scimitar felt the beginning of a raw headache preen at him, taunting him. Had he fingers and hands, the male would have massaged his temples and taken to silence, considering what action would be appropriate in this matter. There was no way in hell Shadow would be allowed on these lands -- not only had he burned the bridges with his previous pack mates, his tauntings and ego had even managed to put a sour taste in the new members of the pack. If anything, the asshole was consistant.
"I'll be frank," he began, not willing to beat around the bush. As awkward as the air remained between the two, he still desired nothing more than to call the desert beauty his friend. "Shadow's a hated man even by our new members. He sought a few of them out and tried to weasle ill thoughts of our pack in their mind. He's not welcome in these lands." He allowed a small pause between them, his bright eyes studying her, aching to know how much she must hurt with everything that had come to pass now. "What is it you want, Paar?"
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Paarthurnax - November 23, 2014
She hated this. All of it. Not only had Paar brought Swiftcurrent Creek into the impossible situation she'd created with Shadow, but soon she would bring children into the equation as well. The crimson sandflower dreaded to think what reaction they might spur from her pack-mates who did not yet know of her pregnancy. She did, after all, carry the offspring of their enemy.
Emotion caused her throat to tighten when her aqua-eyed companion spoke up, and although Shadow's mischief was news to her, Paarthurnax was far from surprised. It had been a harsh realisation to her, now knowing that her former mate had slunk off to try and rouse ill feelings among Swiftcurrent's ranks. She had not been blind to Shadow's cruel ways - instead, she looked beyond them and instead focused on what little good he had in him. With her, he had not been a bad wolf. It was with others that he so actively sought to cause issue.
"I was not aware of his actions against the Creek wolves," she answered, velvet ears tilting back solemnly; "but I understand that he is not welcome here, and rightly so. If I had things my way, I'd cut all ties with him completely. But..." Paarthurnax exhaled softly, and her dim copper gaze averted to look down at her paws with defeat before she glanced briefly over a slim shoulder toward the gentle curve of her flank. "I want them to be happy. I want nothing more to live in peace - all of us." She blinked back threatening tears, and lifted her gaze to look once more upon the cinnamon features of her friend. "He begged me to talk to you about visiting, to see the pups. It is not my place to ask such things of you, Scimitar, when you have already done so much for me already. But he is still lingering somewhere near the Easternmost border, as he intends to seek audience with you in the days to come."
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Scimitar - November 27, 2014
He listened, his stance relaxing only slightly, though the conversation was anything but. Her distress stirred his chest to ache – of all those he knew, Paarthurnax was the most undeserving of this kind of pain.. and while he had warned her before, she had been too young and in love to take heed the warning signs. Scimitar had envisioned her heartache before.. but never had he thought puppies were going to be added to the equation so soon.
“Do you think they’ll be happy with him playing a role in their lives?” It was a brisk question – one that he knew was controversial at best, and yet given the nature of the silver male they spoke about, Scimitar had a hard time seeing the male as a loving and doting father. In his eyes, Paarthurnax was once more offering him the benefit of the doubt.. would the Creek need to pick up the pieces then, too, when that delusion came crashing down?
“Why did he want to see me and not Bazi?” The question was spoken more quietly now – did Shadow know of Bazi’s disappearance.. and if so, who had informed him of the personal matters within the Creek? There was another pause as he withheld a sigh, feeling his shoulders sag slightly. What he would not give to have his sister home now.. another to discuss the matter with and gain insight to her thoughts. “What would you have me do, Paar?”
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Paarthurnax - November 28, 2014
Miserable, Paarthurnax let her head hang. She looked down at her ivory paws, copper eyes flat with the promise of tears. Guilt consumed her for so many reasons: depriving Shadow of his right to see his children grow up; placing the wolves of Swiftcurrent on edge over her former mate's unpredictable nature; leaving behind Crëyr and the others she'd come to appreciate. The weight of the world already rested atop her shoulders, and as more continued to be dropped on her, the crimson Frostfur struggled to hold herself together.
"I do not know," she murmured, a response to both questions Scimitar had asked of her. Swiftcurrent Creek had never been discussed at length between she and him, so Paarthurnax had no idea who'd informed him off Bazi's disappearance. It pained her to consider her pups living without even a smidgen of interaction with the man who'd sired them, but at the same time she was fearful. Shadow had promised not to claim them and return to Noctisardor with them, but it did occur to Paar that she didn't know him as well as she thought she did. "I would have you do what you think is right, Scimitar. Not for the pups, or for him or even for me... but for Swiftcurrent Creek."
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Scimitar - December 04, 2014
He would have consoled her – he would have closed the distance between them, and embraced the fiery she-wolf in a moment he knew she truly needed from one friend to another. But the last touch he had given had crossed a line, and the regret that had flooded him for not only indicating such a demeanor to her, but also how uncomfortable it had made her refrained him from doing so again. He was still in no solid place – and he did not trust himself.
“I will not tell you what to do in the matter Paarthurnax. You will be their mother and it is your right to determine who they will socialize with.” There was a small pause as he shifted his weight, his gaze studying her with concern. “But I don’t trust him. And I personally don’t know why you would ever want that man’s beliefs or corruption to be upon them. And to protect my pack members, I will not allow him in these lands. He has proven time and again he can not be trusted by us – if he tries, I will make him regret it. If he sends another attacker, I will kill the next Bypass wolf that thinks they can strut past my borders as if they mean nothing.” If she wanted Shadow to know his children – it would need to take place outside of their pack borders.
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Paarthurnax - December 04, 2014
The crimson Frostfur understood his decision, and the finality of his words made her feel deflated. Paarthurnax looked up pitifully at her leader, nodded once in agreement, then let her crown hang in defeat. Not because she didn't hear what she wanted - her heart and head were not even entirely certain of that - but because she was to blame for bringing potential trouble to the Creek's doorstep.
This was her fault.
She should never have pursued a life with Shadow. The others had warned her of the risk, and yet Paar let herself be drawn in by her former mate's charm and devotion. He had been good to her, yes, but it was his treatment of others that drove her away. Struggling still to keep herself from weeping, the bi-coloured beauty inhaled deeply; "My loyalty is to you. To this pack, and to these pups." Paarthurnax' breath hitched then, uncertain as to how she felt knowing now that her children would grow up without even a glimpse of their sire until they came of age to be uprooted from the whelping den. "I do not wish harm to come to any of us, and I of course respect your decision. I always have."
But she had to expect the worst from it, when Shadow was delivered news that he would have no visitation rights.
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Scimitar - December 04, 2014
He hated to hurt her, and a small whine pressed to his lips then at the tone she used, his eyes searched her, his muscles tense. He could not offer her the words she had likely wanted to hear – ‘Why yes, let him walk in to our land and piss in our creek some more.. maybe kiss the children on top of the head when he comes.’ No.. it wouldn’t happen.
“I’m sorry, Paar. I know this can’t be easy for you.” He shifted his weight then, his ears sliding back to his skull in concern before he finally broke. His large figure took a hesitant step forward.. and then another. A respectful close to the gap between them before his muzzle could tip forward to just barely graze against her cheek, should she accept the touch. “I do not want you to worry of it – it can’t be good for the pups.”
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Paarthurnax - December 04, 2014
Her decision to leave Swiftcurrent Creek in pursuit of a whirlwind romance had been a foolish one, she knew that now. Scimitar and Bazi had both warned her that ultimately she'd be hurt and, lo and behold, she now stood utterly broken. A large part of her wished she could simply disappear in the night and flee home to Samarkand as her father had requested, but the journey was too long for a wolfess in her situation.
Ultimately, it was her cubs who would suffer from her mistakes. They would not know their sire, and would be raised in a land with wolves who might see them as outsiders. Children of the enemy, and although they'd be right to think so, it was Paarthurnax' biggest fear. Rejection of herself was one thing, but for her children? Innocents in all of this. She could not stand to think of it.
Scimitar moved toward her, and the crimson healer's glassy eyes drifted upward to look upon his features once more. Silence lingered, but she accepted her Alpha's touch and leaned int the gesture, stepping closer to return one of her own by bumping her snout submissively to his pale chin. "This is my fault," she whispered, at last giving into her grief as a sob racked her little frame. "I can't help but be afraid for what the future brings."
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Scimitar - December 05, 2014
“No,” he rumbled in counter, agitated all the more that she now shouldered blame for this. “You took a chance. It didn’t work out.” It would only be unfortunate ic children came in to a world of regret, and he firmly believed Paarthurnax held no regrets over that – they would be loved by the entirety of the pack, of that he was sure. And he did not begrudge Shadow the chance to know his children – he just wouldn’t be able to do so within these borders.
“These children will be children of the Creek. I do not say that to take more from Shadow – I say that because they will be family.” Pulling back now, the cinnamon male studied her, thoughtful for a moment. He could not think of a single pack mate that would argue with that – and as he allowed his eyes to flicker over her features once more, he quietly debated whether or not she even felt at home anymore. “How are you holding up, Paar? Has everyone been okay to you?”
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Paarthurnax - December 06, 2014
He denied that the fault was her own, but Paarthurnax took no comfort from his advice. She knew that by returning to the Creek, trouble would surely follow. If she had been without unborn pups, undoubtedly she would have braved the long journey to the deserts of her birth like her father requested. It would have been too dangerous for her to travel so far in her pregnant state, and so for the lives of her children, she sought the safest place she could think of - despite her guilt at bringing bother to their territory.
Scimitar and Swiftcurrent Creek had always been kind to her. It had become her home so quickly upon her joining, and it continued to remain in her heart even after she followed Shadow to Noctisardor Bypass. She had many regrets, and leaving Bazi and the others was her most notable.
Tears stung her tired, solemn eyes as the cinnamon Alpha changed the subject and asked after her well-being. She blinked up at him, struggling to keep from crumbling before him, and thought back to the encounter she'd had with the Arctic brute who'd put her well and truly in her place. "I..." Paarthurnax swallowed, unsure if sharing with Scimitar the fine details of the uncomfortable meeting would leave her open to further interrogation by her ivory superior. "A pale wolf, male. The day after my arrival, he happened across my den-site and demanded to know why I was here. When I explained, he... asked why I did not re-introduce myself before settling." She trembled, bowing her head in shame. Secrets were not something she wished to keep any longer, and Scimitar was her friend; she trusted that he would not allow harm to come her way, from outsiders and pack-mates alike. "He did not bring me physical harm, but he has been lurking and following me since."
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Scimitar - December 09, 2014
Scimkitar felt his jaw tighten at her news – the simple idea that another was harassing her.. this time, one of his members set the male’s teeth on edge, and a flashing glint of anger swept through his eyes before disappearing as he released a small sigh. “Dovev,” he told her then, knowing the rugged wolf to be the only pale male within the ranks. “He is one of the first to put the better of the pack before anything else,” he offered her, giving his muzzle a slight shake. “He was one of the members Shadow tried to intercept and weave his tale of how wronged he was by Bazi.” Falwasi had given the cinnamon Alpha a quick breakdown of what had transpired.. but whatever had been said had been enough to royally piss Dovev off, it seemed – even that day, the male had discussed attacking the silver wolf.
“He’ll come around. If he continues.. tell me. I’ll talk to him.” Soon enough, they would have a pack meeting and the secret would be out in the open – and while Scimitar knew it needed to happen sooner rather than later, he hated the fact he would have to put the she-wolf before him in the spotlight to explain the situation.
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Paarthurnax - December 13, 2014
Dovev, the russet she-wolf repeated in her mind, still uncomfortable despite having a name to match to the face of the pale brute who saw fit to spy on her. She frowned thoughtfully, casting her copper gaze downward as she listened to what Scimitar had to say in defense of his subordinate. Paarthurnax' understood the hostility of others; it was not common in a wolf hierarchy to accept a female pregnant with pups sired by the competition. Truthfully, she was surprised that more of the Swiftcurrent wolves had not flat-out rejected her return.
"He had every right to be angered by my being here," but it pained her all the same. Swiftcurrent Creek was her home, the place where she truly felt that she belonged, yet at the same time, she struggled to re-integrate herself. Her pups would be burdens on the pack; pups of a wolfess likely considered an Omega, not of their Alpha in the traditional sense. "I just... I am afraid. That he or someone else might not wish to protect these children as you request of them, but seek to destroy them." She did not know what Dovev was capable of. But the likelihood of her pack-mates using her brood to get back at Shadow in some way was very strong.
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Scimitar - December 27, 2014
There was little he could do to soothe the fears of the blossoming mother. His eyes swept over her with soft concern, though he dare not attempt to gather her in embrace in fear it would escalate him to another maneuever on her -- one she had made clear before that had not been welcome, and while she had been mated at the time then.. He knew now, more than ever, her answer to his previous ridiculous advance would still be a resounding no.
"They will. They will accept them as their own and love them. Maybe not at first.. But in time." Of that he held no doubt. His pack comrades were complicated at best, but never did a Creek wolf do anything that did not place their fellow comrades above themselves -- and the crimson she-wolf was now one of them.
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Paarthurnax - January 02, 2015
Finish up here?
Scimitar spoke to her with assurance in his voice, but still he did not fill her with confidence. She did know how to respond; Paar wanted so much to have faith in his word. Her trust in him was immeasurable, but she felt no love for Dovev and any other who might see fit to act against their Alpha's wishes. The children that Paarthurnax carried in her womb were to be pups of the Creek, not of the Bypass, and it would be seen to that Swiftcurrent's wolves knew that.
She gazed at him, sadness in her eyes and her expression fragile, as though she might break down in tears at any given moment. Paar did not know what else to say to him - she'd already outdid herself on the thanking and apologising side of things. So instead she moved away, certain that this meeting had concluded, and gazed over a slim shoulder at her Alpha - bathed in warm evening shades of orange and pink - as the sun continued to complete its decent behind him; "I will retreat to my den, if you don't mind. It's been a long day. Goodnight." With one last, long look at her leader, the russet wolfess turned away and made her way in the direction of her lonely hollow.
RE: It's getting dark in this heart of mine. - Scimitar - January 04, 2015
Somehow - some way, Paarthurnax grasped at him in a way no she-wolf ever had. Perhaps it was the soft eyes that were usually held with such tender care, or how delicate of a beauty she seemed, only to turn and reveal she might be the strongest of them all. He tipped his creamy muzzle downward in recognition to her dismissal, but he did not move from his spot.
The Alpha watched her as she moved away, a small frown playing upon his features before disappearing. Her world had been turned upside down, and there was little more he could do to salvage it, spare give her and her unborn brood a safe haven to call home.
He had warned her of the silver male - asked her not to go, even. But he did not stand victorious. The emotional injury she had sustained only allowed his hatred of Shadow deepen, and instead, he felt lifeless. As her lithe form disappeared from view, the Frostfur took his own turn to leaving, instead, trailing to the openness of the Creek where he would settle for the night, absorbed by his thoughts but far from absolved.