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+--- Thread: Hushed Willows Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism? (/showthread.php?tid=58506)
Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism? - Reverie - November 15, 2023
@Breakitt <3
As time went on, Mae required less and less care; the girl had taken to bringing small meals to Reverie, and she suspected that this was meant to be a way of thanking her. She had yet to hear it aloud, but she didn't mind. Reverie had started to give gifts of her own in return; the sorts of flowers and pretty shells she also brought to her daughter when she found them.On this particular morning, Reverie was out by the eastern border, marking the outskirts where the scents of their claim were weakest. She kept an eye out for any lingering autumn flowers. Her healing leg still hindered her, and so her progress was slow but steady. The early sun cast a cool light over the willows, tempering the brilliant colors cast by the forest as it prepared itself for winter. Soon the vibrancy would fade into grey and white.
Soon, though she could not know the exact day, the day of her birth would pass. She would be two years old, she was fairly certain. Odd, to think that there had been a time when she'd been so certain she would not survive to adulthood. Now she was a wife, a mother — and the proud owner of a bunch of pretty trees, apparently!
RE: Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism? - Reina - November 15, 2023
@Reverie
Stupid, forsaken, weird trees!
For a creature so athletic, one would assume that foot steps might be quieter and breathing might be easy. Skies above! The past year of trekking through different terrains have completely wiped Reina to the brink of exhaustion. "I am ready for a damn break. Water, food, shelter...SOMETHING. But, NO! All I see are stupid, forsaken trees!" The red wolf starts grumbling to herself as she slows to a walk, mentioning something about "whippy branches" on "pretty tress", probably nothing that begs to be repeated any louder. The area was nothing like her home in Rhodesia, many, many moons north of this region. Momma used to tell her stories of her time here, in the Teekon Wilds, and how she met Pawpaw, a handsome rogue in his own right. Rhodesia was cold, bleak, mountains made up the terrain, and unbearably frigid rivers broke up the landscape. Trees were in abundance, but they were tight and uniform, easy to maneuver around, and a lot less whippy and annoying.
Thinking of her parents, now, she sighed deeply. The memories she had been trying to escape for the past year always seem to find their way in, clouding her mind and, at this very unfortunate instance, costing Reina her sure footing. Lost in her reverie, the red wolf managed to entangle herself in the branches of the closest tree of ropes and eventually found her world turned upside down...literally.
"FUCK!" she screamed, not caring who and what heard her. She was done. Tired. Tears formed in her blue eyes, but she refused to let them run. The last thing she will ever do is show a sign of weakness--no matter who, or what, is around.
RE: Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism? - Reverie - November 17, 2023
It was the scream that caught her attention first.
Reverie went still, hackles lifting in a surge of fear and instinct. Another stranger wandering through her trees — how rude! Immediately she pursued the foul-mouthed source of the sound, half inclined to call for Boone. But Reverie was sure she didn't need to be protected; she could handle herself. Right?
But what she glimpsed through the trees wasn't what she'd expected at all. Reverie slowed a little as the woman came into sight, a little startled. The stranger was around her own age, and very pretty — but Reverie quickly discarded that notion. She was learning, slowly, not to look at others. It had occurred to her that if her husband turned appreciative eyes on another, she would not be able to forget the sting of it. And so she tried only to think of him.
Hello,Reverie greeted a bit warily, too frazzled by her conflicting thoughts for anger or aggression.
Are you alright?
RE: Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism? - Reina - November 17, 2023
Having been alone for what seemed like eons, Reina didn't quite comprehend the words spoken to her. It was almost foreign; but, in truth, her brain was too used to listening to the sounds of the wild to process speech. It made her feel incompetent, a child, even. She froze and growled deeply; a warning to whatever had dared to approach her in such a vulnerable state. She then thrashed in the branches, trying to loosen herself and turn her body so that she can face the threat.
A year ago, she would have laughed. She would have had a twinkle in her eye and joy on her lips. It would have been such a sight to her siblings to see their big sister wrapped up in these branches; they would have loved it. Even she would have found it amusing, because she would do anything to bring joy, fun, and happiness to her family. But, now, all of that died with her family. All Reina had now was herself and a will to fight. And, fight she did. Enough so that the branches broke suddenly and she fell to the earth with a giant thud. Dust, dirt, leaves, and loose grass floated in the air. Something got into her mouth and she spit it to the ground, very unlady-like.
She looked up to see a wolf, possibly around her age, a few feet from her. At first, Reina thought maybe she hit her head and was experiencing hallucinations, because this wolf seemed to glow to her; an angel. The way the sun beamed through the trees behind her causing almost wing-like shapes to emerge from her back. The red wolf closed her eyes and shook her head. That's it, I've gone absolutely mental! She realized that she still remained on the ground, splayed out in a much too vulnerable position for her liking. Putting her tough exterior back into place, she snarls and bares her teeth, quickly springing back up onto all four paws while facing the angel wolf.
The wolf's words finally processed; She asked if I was alright...
"I am. Now, go away."
RE: Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism? - Reverie - November 17, 2023
Reverie was startled; her hackles rose all over again, but she didn't flinch from the stranger. She recognized this — this anger, this lashing out.
You don't seem alright,She bit back, a little frustrated in spite of herself. There was a part of her that saw Tauris in this stranger. Yet another part of her whispered why not just chase her out?
Because that's not who I am.
This is my home, so I'm not going anywhere. You're welcome to leave if you like,Reverie paused only long enough to draw in a quick breath.
But if you want to stay for a little while, I can give you some food and a warm place to sleep. Or just some company, if you want.She knew, after all, what it felt like to look at the world and think that she would be better off alone. She knew how lonely it could be.
RE: Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism? - Reina - November 18, 2023
A she-wolf with a little back bone? I like her, thought Reina.
The red wolf shook herself, dislodging some debris that glittered her fur from the unceremonious fall. She gave herself a quick once over to check for injuries, but nothing more than scrapes to her legs from the branches were found.
Blue eyes found their way to the other wolf's face, not quite looking her in the eyes as a sign of respect, her head dipping down slightly. "My apologies, then. I have travelled for the last year, alone. I know not of where I am, only stories have guided me to this place. I have not seen many others in my travels and so I'm a little...rusty, as some would say, when it comes to social interactions." Oh, it made her cringe internally to feign submission. But, her angel wolf was being kind and it wouldn't hurt to make nice in exchange for a little shelter, food, and, possibly, some damn good sleep.
Maybe, even gain a friend...
"I'm Reina. I do apologize for my behavior. One does not normally find themselves wrapped up in a tree and feels genuinely happy about it." She gave a small laugh, it sounded absolutely foreign to her now. What she would give to feel genuinely happy again.
RE: Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism? - Reverie - November 19, 2023
Unexpectedly, the woman calmed. Reverie relaxed as she apologized, nodding slightly as she mentioned being alone. She'd been alone, too, once.
It's okay, I understand,She assured the fiery woman softly. Reina.
I'm Reverie. The trees are a little tricky here.A faint smile tugged at her expression as she said it.
I think there's a cache just this way,Reverie beckoned for Reina to follow her, leading her deeper into the willows. She hadn't done as much hunting herself as she would have liked, but between Boone and Mae and her own slow contributions they had a steady supply of food. It was odd to accept meals from a child, but Mae was a talented hunter for her age.
You can stay for awhile, if you'd like. It's just me and my family here for now - my husband and my daughter, and a girl we took in recently. But we plan to make a pack - Hearthwood.
She cast a warm look at Reina.
I used to travel, too. I'd love to hear about what you've seen, if you have any stories.
RE: Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism? - Reina - November 20, 2023
Reina hummed her agreement. ”These trees are nothing similar to those that I’m familiar with back home.” She tried to cover the slight wobble in her voice at the mention of home with a throat clearing. Some days are better than others, but today seemed to be proving more difficult to keep her emotions in check. Weakness is dangerous. But, she didn’t feel any animosity from the golden she-wolf; no, this female was kind and gentle.
“Reverie. That’s pretty.” She paused for a breathe, remembering the first moment Reverie came upon her. “If I hadn’t known your name, I would have called you Angel.” Her cheeks heated. That was not meant to come out, but there it was. She rolled her eyes at herself—boy, when did she get THIS socially awkward?
The red wolf padded after the gold wolf, her mouth salivated at the thought of real food. Twigs and berries can only go so far for a wolf’s stomach. A loud grumble emitted from deep within, a gnawing she had ignored came to the forefront at rapid speed. It almost made her double over in pain, but her steely composure and her absolute refusal to appear weak kept her upright.
“I thank you for your hospitality, Reverie. It would benefit me greatly to have at least one good meal and a good night’s rest. And, I have many a good story—all came from my parents. They spent a great deal here in the Teekons as youngsters; found love here, heartache, loss, adventure.” Ocean eyes became misty, but she smiled. The stories allowed her to feel her parents’ presence, she was never truly alone. But, what she would give to feel their hugs and hear their voices again.
RE: Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism? - Reverie - November 25, 2023
Angel. Reverie wondered at that, blushing shyly at the perceived compliment though she wasn't quite sure what it meant. It sounded nice, though!
What does that mean? Angel?She questioned quietly as she led Reina to where she thought the cache might be. And luckily for her, it was there!
After a few moments she produced a muskrat from the cache and offered it to the fiery woman.
So you have a history here?She asked next, ears pulled forward with interest.
It must be wonderful to finally see the places you've heard about in stories. Most of my family has never been here - they came from far away. A place called The Gilded Sea.Her voice was a little wistful as she recalled her childhood home.
We didn't have many trees there, and none of them were as big as these ones!Reverie continued, glancing around at them for a moment.
Is there somewhere in particular you're headed? I know the area pretty well.
RE: Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism? - Reina - November 28, 2023
@Reverie- so sorry for the delay!
Reina’s ears caught the gold wolf’s question. “Oh—well,” she paused, thinking. Blushing, she continued, “My mom explained to me that an angel comes to you in times of need. They’re ethereal beings that are made of pure love and light. When you came upon me, the sun filtered through the trees behind you, it looked like you were glowing from within, and the sun beams had formed wings spreading wide from your back.” Reina turned her face away from Reverie, eyes rolling at her awkward attempt to explain herself. Oh, lord, am I flirting? Damn, I’m lonelier than I thought…
Her eyes landed on the muskrat being offered and, gratefully, Reina bowed her head in thanks and gently took the carcass. Her eyes closed as she savored the meat, although a little chewy, it tasted amazing compared to what she had been used to over the past year. A little blood and some bits fell onto her paws, so she cleaned herself up before answering Reverie.
“I have no familial ties to this place, if that’s what you’re wondering. My mother and her family are from the north—a year’s worth of travel from a place called Rhodesia National Park. My father hailed from some other territory, but he didn’t speak of it much. My mother and father were notorious for traveling as youngsters. They found each other in passing and fell in love. My mother was eventually called back home and my father, so deeply smitten, followed her.” The love between her parents was something she desired in her own life. But, it had seemed that when she had become of age to find a mate, she wouldn’t have such luck. It’s in the past, though, and something she doesn’t spend her energy thinking of too often anymore.
She thought of the Gilded Sea, its name not ringing a bell, but it sounded like a beautiful place. A gold wolf from the Gilded Sea, how fitting. “The name alone sounds beautiful, maybe you’ll tell me stories of your home some day? And as far as my traveling is concerned, I don’t have a specific place to go…I’m just trying to find a place to call home. Maybe there’s also just a little bit of running from my past...Or, a want to start over.”
RE: Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism? - Reverie - November 28, 2023
Reverie didn't think anyone had ever described her so kindly. An angel, an ethereal being of pure love and light; hadn't she wanted to be that, once? As fleeting and sweet as a sunrise, until the world had taken that from her. Until she had been reminded that she was like the rest of them, all flesh and blood and mess and so many mistakes. She was no angel — but if she could be that to at least one person, maybe that was just as good.
I think that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said about me,She confessed softly, starstruck. But then the conversation was moving on, and Reina was telling her the story of her parents; a cute story, a love story. Reverie found herself wondering what she and Boone might tell their own future children. Would they call it love at first sight? Would that be the truth?
That's a beautiful story,A gentle smile touched her lips as she said it, but it faded with her next words.
But I... don't have any good stories about The Gilded Sea, I'm sorry. It wasn't a kind place. It's - it's nicer here, though, in the Teekon Wilds. The valley to the southeast is a lovely place. And -
Well, if you're looking for somewhere to stay, you could stay here,Her eyes were earnest on Reina now.
I - I know what it's like to want to run from your past. Hearthwood is - it's a new beginning. And it's close to the sea and the valley, and the taiga to the east - you wouldn't have to go far to see more of the wilds! I could show you sometime.Reverie tried not to get her hopes up too much, but even so her heart raced. She so hoped that Reina would stay! Another friend was always welcome; soon, Reverie hoped, the willows would be filled with friends.
RE: Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism? - Reina - November 28, 2023
“I apologize for being forward. It comes with being alone for so long; my social skills need some work.” She smiled sheepishly, her ears falling back on her head in embarrassment. Her ears perked as she listened to Reverie talk of her old home; a feeling of anger and a want to protect this new acquaintance of hers bubbled up in a soft growl. How could someone that radiates such light come from somewhere that was unkind to her?
Reina cleared her throat. “I—I am so sorry, I did not stop to think my question could be insensitive. I would much rather talk about better times. Hearthwood sounds wonderful—and in turn, so does the Teekon Wilds—I would love to see more of this place and of your home. Stories can only do so much for the imagination.” Her tired heart picked up pace, renewed with the feeling of home.
Is this where she is meant to be? Was she meant to run into her angel friend? She surely felt a kinship with Reverie, despite the pitiful attempts at being flirtatious. Learning from a very young age that she appreciated both males and females in a romantic way, it took Reina longer to realize that not everyone feels the way she does. Luckily, with her father being the leader of their pack, she was exempt from other’s bigotry, but it didn’t negate the awful words spoken in whispers.
RE: Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism? - Reverie - November 30, 2023
We could fade and have another if you want? <3 I already love the friendship between these two!
Her fondness for Reina was immediate and intense; they were kindred spirits, she felt, connected by their desire for a new beginning. And there was a small thrill in knowing that she might be a part of this for Reina! She had been treated poorly, Reverie assumed, hearing her apologize. She shook her head softly.You don't have to apologize - for any of that,She reached out to touch her shoulder lightly. Wherever she had come from, Reina would not need to fear it anymore.
Hearthwood is - a place for friends. And friends will always try to understand. Come on, I'll show you around - and you can meet @Boone! There are others around too - you'll meet them soon, I hope.Oh, there was so much to show her! Reverie lifted her muzzle slightly to catch Boone's scent on the wind, casting a glance at Reina to see if she was agreeable to the idea before she set off in search of him.
RE: Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism? - Reina - December 02, 2023
(We can fade out here-I can end it. I'd love to keep these two going for a bit! They're so cute! <3)
Reina closed her eyes at the shoulder touch. Acceptance. She felt it immediately with Reverie. Her lips curled into a soft smile--she could feel them, again, her family, in just that small fleeting touch, and they were whispering to her. Faint and fleeting, but clear, as if passing through this angel on earth from the heavens above.
"Home, Rei, home. Family; love. Yours. It's okay. Love you. Forever. Always."
Blue eyes, shimmering with unshed tears, opened to find the gold wolf scenting the wind. At Reverie's glance, Reina sniffed back her tears and nodded, smiling. For the first time since the death of her family, she genuinely smiled. It felt good. So good to feel connected to something solid.
But a fear so thick and inky sat, deep within her core. She was afraid to acknowledge this fear; knowing what she would see: thick black fur and eyes that burned her soul. The reason she ran. The reason she is here, far from home. She turned from Reverie, only for a moment, to collect herself and hide the shudder that threatened to allude to the gold wolf that Reina was scared. Terrified, even. She can't appear weak. I refuse.
Shaking herself, she turned back to her golden friend. "I would love that. Lead the way, Reverie." And with that, the red wolf trailed after her angel, following her light to a bright future, wherever that may lead.
I just hope this future doesn't fizzle into darkness...
Reina closed her eyes at the shoulder touch. Acceptance. She felt it immediately with Reverie. Her lips curled into a soft smile--she could feel them, again, her family, in just that small fleeting touch, and they were whispering to her. Faint and fleeting, but clear, as if passing through this angel on earth from the heavens above.
"Home, Rei, home. Family; love. Yours. It's okay. Love you. Forever. Always."
Blue eyes, shimmering with unshed tears, opened to find the gold wolf scenting the wind. At Reverie's glance, Reina sniffed back her tears and nodded, smiling. For the first time since the death of her family, she genuinely smiled. It felt good. So good to feel connected to something solid.
But a fear so thick and inky sat, deep within her core. She was afraid to acknowledge this fear; knowing what she would see: thick black fur and eyes that burned her soul. The reason she ran. The reason she is here, far from home. She turned from Reverie, only for a moment, to collect herself and hide the shudder that threatened to allude to the gold wolf that Reina was scared. Terrified, even. She can't appear weak. I refuse.
Shaking herself, she turned back to her golden friend. "I would love that. Lead the way, Reverie." And with that, the red wolf trailed after her angel, following her light to a bright future, wherever that may lead.
I just hope this future doesn't fizzle into darkness...