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+--- Thread: Ocean's Breath Plateau There's Peace in the searching sometimes (/showthread.php?tid=59292)
There's Peace in the searching sometimes - Rodyn - January 13, 2024
Rodyn moved through the pack lands his shoulders tight. @Panuk was asleep in the den and @Rolayne wasn't here. He didn't want to be here. Rodyn felt a failure. He hadn't been able to keep his son here.
His and Samani's child hated this place. And he could understand, he knew he was upset and that he loved @Sialuk and every boy needed a mother. Hadn't he proven that by making @Shikoba his mother in name here. Cause he longed for that comfort and familial feel.
@Towhee was truly a help qith his sons and @Heph as well, but he still felt as if what he was doing was always wrong. Did all parents feel that way? Or was he just not built for it?
He found himself at the death Ulaq of Samani and he settled to his haunches. Yellow eyes haunted and a little teary.
I'm trying really hard, but I feel a failure. I won't stopp trying of course, but well.
His voice tapered off. Then anew.
I wish you were here.
Then he sighed and stared out over the water.
tags for reference
RE: There's Peace in the searching sometimes - Heph - January 15, 2024
She kept weight off her shoulder and yet she could feel her strength returning, the bruising on her ribs subsiding as breath came easier. Panuk she watched and played with, taught games and hunting. Rolayne remained in Moonspear and she tried her best not to worry. Heph had been born into a large family, though her parents had loved and provided for them memories of stories and lessons taught, the first cricket she caught were twined with her elder brothers and sisters and their watchful indulgent gazes.
As she wandered she skirted the area of Samani's death ulaq, occassionally the wolf would return to it but often she avoided the marker leaving it shrouded in a reverent sort of hush only to hear the tide. Her attention caught, russet brown fur. A long breath. She canted her path away to dig up a cache and missed his words to the wind, and returned dropping a pair of rabbits down between them as she sat by his side.
RE: There's Peace in the searching sometimes - Rodyn - January 16, 2024
Heph had been hurt himself as well. The wound now scabbing and would eventually scar on his shoulder. A long line of torn flesh and fur. At least it hadn't been deep.
Rodyn too had been born in large family. And part of him worried his sons needed more. Well Rolayne had proved he did. But he didn't know how to fix that. If Heph had children his could see them as siblings but what if Rolayne didn't come home?
A soft smile at Heph. He sniffed at her fur.
Are you okay? Healing well?
He looked her over with critical eye. She jad been hurt in a hunt he had devised. Though it had been dangerous and all wolves knew this. He still felt guilty.
RE: There's Peace in the searching sometimes - Heph - January 16, 2024
"Slow but steady, another half moon or so and I'll be right as rain. @Phox and @Chakliux help. I'm sorry I'm a bit of deadweight in the meantime." Heph offered, the hunt was dangerous and the only person she could blame for her injury was herself and the bison (who had only been trying to survive as the wolves had).
"How are you?" She asked eye catching his own wound. A curl of worry, with Raiyuk and Matteo too injured she feared for Moontide. While the hunt had paid off and their caches were filled with the rich meat of the bison she still worried after their pack. A flicker of hesitation, she and Rodyn had hunted beside on another before but she hoped that his confidence in her as a hunter had not been shaken by any mistakes of hers.
RE: There's Peace in the searching sometimes - Rodyn - January 18, 2024
Rodyn snorted.
You are far from a deadweight my friend. You just rest until you're ready to go back out hunting with me. I can't do as much without my partner in crime.
He shifted the stinging of his own wound deciding to linger. He looked her over. His thoughts on the young males. Perhaps he shouldn't have let them go. But they had to learn somehow. And he hoped that he wasn't blamed for their pain. He felt bad enough.
I am alright. It stings, but it's merely a flesh wound. But another scar to add right. Though this one was not for my bride price.
he blew out a breath unsure how he felt about a new scar that Samani would never know.
I think Rolayne may stay in Moonspear, Heph. I know we have spoken of this before, but it weighs heavy. I feel as if I have failed somehow. Perhaps I am not meant to be father?
RE: There's Peace in the searching sometimes - Heph - January 20, 2024
"Well then I'll be sure to recover quickly." She laughed a smile upon her lips once more. Though they joked she trusted Rodyn to be honest, and did not worry that there was resentment hidden in his words over her injury.
A gentle shake of her head, she would always be there and if she could she would halve any burdens of his though she knew that much of what he faced was particular to him. "I'm sorry, I know this isn't the family you imagined having, so maybe in that way fatherhood does not feel...as intended." Of course she knew Rodyn had always thought of being a father to pups that he and Samani raised together.
"What do you feel causes you to ask this?" Her voice was soft around the edges of the sentences, rolling over the consonants. A whisper to unfurl flowers in the spring rather than a prying loose of the soil. His children were healthy and they were loved, in her mind he had not failed in the slightest, but she knew that though they had known each other for some time she could not know all the twists and turns of his heart nor his mind.
RE: There's Peace in the searching sometimes - Rodyn - January 23, 2024
Rodyn had been worried, when he had heard Heph was hurt. He had not felt cruelly or resentful of it. Just worry. But when he had heard she was okay. It had made him glad.
Rodyn chuckled.
It doesn't feel like I had expected. But I love our made family Heph. Everyone here mean much to me.And he knew what she meant, but he also would not have her every questioning that he didn't love her and the other's. Not that she would, but he would voice it anyway.
He hmmed softly to himself. What made him feel this way? He was doing the best that he could. His boys were healthy, happy mostly, knew they were loved.
It's irrational really, Heph. I feel as if I should have been the one to leave them. Not her. I also feel that perhaps i shouldn't have taken them from the Spear. Perhaps that was a folly of mine?
RE: There's Peace in the searching sometimes - Heph - January 27, 2024
She took a breath and let it out a press of shoulders. She felt it, she had wished that Samani were there but the family here that remained was no less treasured in her heart. But she was gald to hear it, to feel the words and watch the wind as they floated on.
There was a moment where Rodyn thought and then another moment as she listened. "You worry because you care, there's nothing irrational about that." Rodyn was many things, and it was not always a bad thing to be irrational, but his worry and care and love made sense. They were a part of who he was. And none of those choices had been fair. "There's nothing you could have done about her death, and I'm sorry it's forced you to make those choices. Perhaps there are no right answers. Rolayne needs to be at the Spear now." She swalled taking a breath, it was a hard thing to accept. "Panuk I think is happy here."
RE: There's Peace in the searching sometimes - Rodyn - January 27, 2024
Rosyn knew that he would need to stop geieving outwardly eventually. The psck members would get tired of it. It was a cruel truth. And it didn't do to be sad all the time anyway.
Ear turned towards her. He listened and what she said made sense. He knew it. It was a hard pill to swallow.
He does, doesn't he. And maybe that is what Rolayne needs. He will learn well at the spear
RE: There's Peace in the searching sometimes - Heph - February 03, 2024
Grief followed its own patterns and neither the coming and going of seasons nor the swell and ebb of the tides could sway it to move - they were approaching a time when nearly half a year would have passed since her death. Rodyn would most likely live and eventually his time of being with her would be eclipsed by the time she was gone. For Heph that would come sooner. "mmmm and perhaps one day he when he is ready he will be curious about Moontide as well." After all if he made a spirit journey as well it seemed of Kukutux's last bunch of kids two of the three had soujourned at Moontide for a time. There was room for hope even if not all wishes were possible.
RE: There's Peace in the searching sometimes - Rodyn - February 05, 2024
He felt lighter, calmer. Heph had that affect on everyone. She put you at ease. He was glad she was his friend.
Rodyn nodded.
I can only hope so. But enough about me. How are you? How is phox?
What he wanted to ask was. Is he treating you right? Will he love you like you deserve? Does he make you happy?
RE: There's Peace in the searching sometimes - Heph - February 10, 2024
A smile curved on her lips when he mentioned Phox. "It is going well. I...It feels different with him, quiet, steady, but I think he's someone I would like to continue walking side by side." The quiet that she felt with Phox the ease of it had all the joy and joking of a good friendship and yet there was another quality to it that she had not felt before. And she could tell that he cared for her, the gift he had happened to have ready upon her return even if she was only there for a night, going to scout with her at the last minute.
RE: There's Peace in the searching sometimes - Rodyn - February 12, 2024
His face lit up with her admission. And also a sharp pabg of grief colored his heart. But he would not steal this happiness from his friend, by allowing his grief to penetrate their current bubble.
I am so happy for you Heph!
And he was truly. He knew how wonderful blossoming love was. He had felt it. There was nothing quite like it.
RE: There's Peace in the searching sometimes - Heph - February 17, 2024
"Thank you. Hopefully we'll all have reason to celebrate soon enough." If Raindrop came to Moontide and found someone, with Raiyuk and Matteo growing up, and if Chakliux and Marina and Tulik had children he was sure that there would be plenty to celebrate. "She would have loved to see it."