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Noctisardor Bypass Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - Printable Version

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Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - John - February 12, 2024

All welcome, but maybe @Heda? Haven’t had a thread in quite sometime. Other tags for reference.

John had found himself a quiet place by the Great Lake within Rivenwood’s land. He sat there, quiet in prayer, then opening his eyes to watch the Ospreys as they go about their day. As he watched them fly effortlessly through the sky, it brought to mind a verse passed down to him from his father and it was as if he could hear his father’s voice: “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

He missed his family, his home, but God always has a plan, guiding His children where he needs them to go, and he never doubted God, and he had no reason to. However, he seemed to grow almost…. Uneasy. His daily routine hadn’t changed much, Heda had found her sister, @Druid, her mate @Glaukos. For Heda and her remaining children, thing were almost coming together, but as much as John wanted to be there for them, he didn’t know what more to do.


RE: Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - Skaigona - February 12, 2024

<3!

home, finally. a home of sorts.
no. a home. that was it. she didn't have to leave. she wasn't going anywhere.
the den in dawnleaf was growing cozier by the day. her girls appeared to have taken an interest in planting, the way mahler had been. she never mentioned the old man, but thought of him often as she found strength to patrol rivenwood.
the lake was a source of peace for many. she found john in quiet contemplation there, and slid gently beside him into a silent sit that brought her own gaze up to follow the birds.



RE: Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - John - February 12, 2024

Through the corner of his eyes, he saw the unmistakable figure of Heda, sliding in to sit beside him. He looked over to her, a smile on his face, gentle ocean eyes gazing upon her delicate face. “Good day, Heda. How are you faring?” 

She looked much better than she had prior to settling in the Bypass, she had not been so weary, so drained of life. It was a relief to see her improving.


RE: Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - Skaigona - February 12, 2024

"i'm all right, john. i'm happy to see the girls acting better. happier." as her body had not yet begun to change, there was no reason to mention anything else, or so she felt.
"how are you? i'm — sorry things have been so chaotic. i think we can enjoy peace now, true peace."



RE: Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - John - February 12, 2024

“It’s most certainly wonderful to see.” He replied, “How is Ava healing?” He didn’t know if it would be a good idea to bring up their meeting, and how that went. 

Home, though, it didn’t quite feel like one to him. Now, “home” can mean something totally different depending on the person, or wolf. For John, he didn’t quite feel it, at least not yet, but when God was ready, he’d reveal it to John, what’s meant to be. All he had to do, was wait patiently.


RE: Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - Skaigona - February 12, 2024

"she's well. i think dinah is even doing better, too. i think having an aunt around is helpful." to her, anyway, though she hoped her girls were taking to druid just as well.
glaukos remained a mystery to her; thinking of him reminded the woman of her deep hope that the young she carried belonged to him.
and then that in itself brought a flush of shame, to be unmarried, to be widowed, to be living in sin.
"i have to go back, john," heda said softly after a time. "not to stay, but to find my sons. to bring them here."



RE: Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - John - February 12, 2024

It was a relief for Dinah, surely, to have some sort of normality. Family is important in one’s life, and one should never be without it, but of course, sometime the unthinkable can’t be helped. He simply nodded to her first response 

When she brought up going back, he wasn’t surprised. Heda was strong, but could she make a full journey back to the coast? In the tail end of winter? He thought of her words for a minute, before suggesting his pitch: “I think that’s wonderful.” He began, hoping she would take no offense, “I know you’re strong, Heda, but… What about the girls? Would they be alright with you leaving on such a journey?”

At some point, he’d like to mention the fact that he would be willing to go, to bring her Sons, her lambs home.


RE: Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - Skaigona - February 17, 2024

john was thoughtful. heda resisted the urge to lean into the comforting, familiar warmth of his body. she feared it would be misconstrued as — but perhaps she did not understand the relationship between herself and john.
and it would be unseemly, disrespectful to him, she felt. she was a woman fallen from more grace than she knew, a widow too weak to finish her mourning, a strumpet's desires blossoming in her. and then she had deceived glaukos and found enjoyment in it. unmarried. malicious. reduced quite severely to an animal.
no. he would find a lovely new bride, and heda would preside over their wedding. and rivenwood would be filled with joy. 
that is what she saw.
"they won't be all right," the widow said faintly. "but they'll have to stay here either way. it's — for once it's safe."



RE: Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - John - February 18, 2024

She admitted to him that they would not be okay, but at least now, here they were safe. They had family to watch over them, protect them. 

He looked to her golden eyes, and his gaze and thoughts stayed there. Man, he loved her, he couldn’t understand why anybody wouldn’t love her. In fact, he believed Caracal was beyond blessed to have such a wonderful woman in his life, even if it only for a short time, and no matter what happened, John could never see a bad side to her. 

“Indeed. They won’t be alone, that’s for certain.” he began, his voice taking on a worried tone, his face too, “But Heda, I-I don’t want to risk… losing you. The world is dangerous, the land, you and I both know well enough.”

“There’s something you need to know. About me.” It was finally time, time to tell Heda more about himself.


RE: Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - Skaigona - February 21, 2024

she blinked, her focus becoming his, entirely. john's devotion beamed out of his very spirit, and she was suddenly frightened to know what it was he had held back.
he cared; he spoke of her; and her spirit both warmed at this, and retreated from it.
heda searched john's face, waiting.



RE: Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - John - February 25, 2024

Her attention became his, and he thought of what he was about to say, taking a moment to breath. He then began to speak, gently, he said, “Before I found you, Caracal, the island…. I lived in another place, far north outside these lands.” And he would go on explaining, “It was my home, where I grew up, where my faith became my life. I was born to dedicated parents, both devoted strongly to God. I was truly happy, as I had everything, but then…. I was stolen in the night, by creatures I’ve never seen, never knew of. It’s hard to recall what all happened, but when I woke up, I was here.”

“I-I lost my family, my home. But everyday, I knew I had to trust in God, telling myself he is the reason I’m here, that I found you. I’ll forever be thankful to Him, and you, Heda, for taking me in to your home, your family.” 

As he recollected these things, his eyes began to feel wet, the beginning of tears.


RE: Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - Skaigona - March 06, 2024

stolen? heda's ears swept forward with worried intrigue, and she found herself hanging to each word, and when john's eyes filled with tears, they answered in her own.
"god led you here," she marveled. "after all that, god led you here. to us."
heart galloped. john had not lost his faith. it had never wavered.
how could she let him see such weakness in herself?
"i am so thankful you came to sweetharbor, john," she managed on the edge of a sob.



RE: Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - John - March 06, 2024

She listened, hanging on each word, and his words brought dewdrops to her eyes. She spoke, on the verge of tears, “God led you here.” And she was thankful, that God gave John to their family, she was thankful he came to Sweetharbor. He could feel his own tears welling, and as she spoke on the end of a sob, he embraced her, a warm, comforting hug. The two of them shed tears, both of joy and sorrow. John found family in Heda, and whether the girls wanted him as their found family or not, he was here, and he wouldn't let them go.

He pulled away, wiping his eyes, then hers with a gentle paw. “I guess neither of us have to cry alone.” He spoke with a chuckle, “I know things have been hard, Heda, but I’m here for you, for your children, my family. Sometimes I don’t understand why God does what He will, but we just have to trust Him. And Heda, He wants you back, that I’m certain of. I know your strong.”


RE: Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - Skaigona - March 12, 2024

the redhawk widow was no longer convinced of god or his goodness, but she believed in that of john. his voice reminded her of the island in the only way that no longer hurt, and in this moment, she clung to the sound of it as if it were a life-raft in a whirlpool.
unsure of how to feel when he touched her, heda leaned into it, choosing to close her eyes. but on the next breath she had pulled away, placing proper space between he, a hard swallow hurting her throat. "well. he will have to earn me back," she laughed in breathy deprecation, bitterness filling her heart where there had been softness a moment before.



RE: Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - John - March 13, 2024

The island woman, the island mother, leaned into him, and he basked in her touch, just for that moment, until she drew away with the next breath. He sat silently, there beside her as there grew a space between them once more. She then claimed that God would have to earn her back. Oh, but God would find a way, the Good Shepherd always does. But for now, he would just be here, for her, the family, and whatever else they’d face, because he felt as if he was their shepherd.

“Oh Heda.” He whispered, giving a warm smile, “In due time, when everything has fallen back into place, everything will be right again. I want to see you through it.”

Once he’d said his piece, he stood, taking one look upon the waters’ surface. The water was clear as a mirror, one that stared deep beyond the surface. He then turned to lay his gaze upon Heda once more.

“Before I go, is there anything else?”


RE: Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - Skaigona - March 18, 2024

"n-no, except — john. even if you don't find them, come back." rivenwood couldn't lose him too, and neither could heda, though there was not a way for her to say this without seeming forward.
or to say she didn't think things would ever be right again.
now it was her turn to look at the shimmering shapes cast by sunlight upon the water, and wonder, and pray.



RE: Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees. - John - March 18, 2024

She had one last request, one last plea: She wanted him to come home, even if he cannot find her sons. He thought a moment, knitted his brows, then spoke, casting his gaze to her reflection in the water. “If it is willed, I will return. Your shepherd will come home.” 

John then turned, his tail swaying at his hocks as he walked away, to rest, then to prepare.