Dwin had been quiet ever since she had returned home from her trip with Sylvie. They had had to cut it short due to unforeseen circumstances and it seemed as if her sister was quite content to enjoy the simple pleasures of a peaceful domestic life. Her younger sister on the other hand felt differently. Physically Dwin was home, participating in all of the tasks and duties a wolf her age was expected to fulfill, but her thoughts often were eslewhere. She revisited all the people she had met along the way, but most often she found herself sitting on that beach next to Val and talking about life.

She missed him. Make no mistake - she was not in love with him, long gone were the days, when she had nurtured innocent crush on the older man. Rather his views and his opinion and the way the conversations with him challenged her made her realize the extent of, what she was missing out on, while remaining at Brecheliant. At times Dwin felt as if she was one of the Big fish forever trapped in the lake at the caldera - they would live out all their lives and never once wonder, what else was there in the world. But she knew. And she craved for the experiences and knoweldge that her home could never fully satisfy. 

Splash. She pushed a rock in the water and watched it send ripples across the mirror like surface of the lake. If only difficult decisions in life were just as easy to make as sending this rock down to the bottom of the lake. 

"Of course not," Dwin smiled at Maia, who had startled her a little, because she had not heard her coming. Even though there was enough space on the ledge for both of them, she moved to the side to give her mom just as a good viewpoint over the lake. "Waking the fish up," she explained and sent another rock flying down in the water and then offered Maia to do the same. "Last week there was still ice and I found some dead fish lying on the shores elsewhere," she told. "None of the big guys, though - I hope they pulled through," she told. 

For a moment there Dwin thought she saw movement in the water, her body tensed, ears perked up and her gaze followed the underwater shadow intently. But then it was gone and she was left wondering, if she had simply imagined seeing it. It could happen, if you wished too hard for something. "How's..." dad doing? Dwin paused and decided to ask something else. "How are you doing?" because from her point of view Maia was so invested in caring for her aging spouse and tending for needs of others that it could may as well be that no one had asked this to her in a very long time.

Boring is safe. It is stable. Dwin thought to herself, sometimes really wishing that she had had a chance to meet Maia in her youth. Before she had settled down and traded life of adventure to the duck-pond life here was. How could it be that she never felt the urge to go out in the world again. Surely it could not be so that she considered having seen enough of it already?

"Mom... I won't stay in Brecheliant," Dwin spoke out loud the decision that she had made a long time ago. "I am this angry, broody, distrustful person, when I am here," she said. "And I am not like that, when I am not here. During my trip I met so many interesting people and there is so much for me to learn still," she told. 

"There... there can't be any progress, if one stands still. I have had a feeling that there is sort of an expectation for me to step up eventually, but I... I cannot do a job out of duty and loyalty alone. I could, but that would mean giving up on something very important for me," she told. "I want to find the path that is my own. And... unfortunately... it's not here. Has not been for a while now," she finished, avoiding Maia's gaze and looking out in the distance.

"It does not feel that way all the time," Dwin shook her hehad, feeling a little guilty that she was saying this. "I mean... from some of the conversations I have had with Teya... I get a sense that she would want me to take the path that is expected. And if there was not a part of me that did not believe this to be true, I would not care," she told.

"But... you are getting older and Teya's not going to have any children anymore. And those we have had - even me - they do not stay here - what will happen to Brecheliant? When you are gone and there is no one here left to keep it going?" she asked. "I do not think it is fair to expect from any one child to continue the legacy and tradition here, but as much as Brecheliant now does not fulfill my needs, I would hate to see it perish too," she explained. 

"There is no good decision here for me, where I won't feel sad, is it?" she asked. 

"I risk sounding very inconsistent," Dwin admitted, resting her head against Maia's fluffy shoulder, not yet willing to let go of that embrace. She would not haev tolerated this from anyone else, but mom to her still was the most important and favorite person in the world. "But... I like it here as well. I have spent nearly all my life here and I have grown attached to the place and, while I know that going out in the world will be the best thing for me, I am also... you... I feel... leaving would feel as if I am abandoning a good old friend," she exhaled, then retreated to meet Maia's gaze briefly. 

"I... kind of want to be here, stay here, if many things were different. But then - if they were, it would no longer be here," she chuckled at her lack of talent, when it came to expressing intricate thoughts in words. "Maybe... yes... a lot can change. Maybe I will change my mind too. Who knows..." she agreed thoughtfully. "You know... I think that the greatest regret is that dad will be sad," she referred to Eljay's unwillingness to let any of the kids go."And my fear is that I... he will... you know..." she was not a superstitious person, but saying "he will die", felt as if it would invite the inevitable much sooner than necessary. 

"I would not want to think that our goodbyes now would turn out to be the final ones," she said with a sigh.

"I do not think that this would work like that," Dwin replied, thinking that you cannot make the den that has grown too small for you more comfortable by simply redecorating it. It would still be too small. "It is the novelty, the meeting and exchanges with other people that I miss," she explained. "While here I feel more compelled to protect my home and view every stranger as potential danger. Outside... well, probably, they still might be dangerous, but... not the same." 

"Well, I do not mean to cut ties with you. I think that winter months are very good and solid reasons to sway anyone's mind," she chuckled. "But until then I would want to take a lot and a bit more from, what the world has to offer me," Dwin sighed. "And learn a good deal too," she finished. 

"Well, I had one send off party already. And look, where it got me," Dwin smiled and bumped her shoulder against Maia's in a friendly manner. "Nah, I think I will be good just bidding my goodbyes to you and maybe some other people personally. Or just you and dad. I won't say I am too old for a send-off party, but - you know - it does not feel as necessary as it did, when I set out first," she told. 

"Would you like to have some lunch and then tell some of your very best adventures?" Dwin suggested, getting to her feet and stretching. One part of the conversation had come to an end, but she was not yet ready to part from her mom yet. Nowadays they did not spend too much time together and therefore Dwin wanted to cherish every moment she got with Maia.