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+--- Thread: Honeyed Pasture Do you see the brightest side of life (/showthread.php?tid=61075)
Do you see the brightest side of life - Amalia - May 07, 2024
Amalia stepped down from Brecheliant excited to get away and do some hunting. Or at the very least track the herds. She wasn't sure if she could take a fully grown deer down on her own. But a reckless part of wondered if she could.
So she headed that way. Brown tipped black tail swinging in the meadowed fields. The scent of prey and musk overpowering. How she wanted to laugh in delight. Who wouldn't want to be hunting on such a beautiful beautiful day.
Green eyes alight upon the numerous herds that speckled the landscape. She went low and watched for a time. Searching for any weakness in the groups. White teeth glistening. A thrum beneath her fur. To go, chase.
@Kigipigak
RE: Do you see the brightest side of life - Kigipigak - May 07, 2024
He felt as welcome among the Moonglow wolves this time as he had the last, and could not bear it. The children held their names now, and were likely being sequestered with their grandmother for stories and lessons. Kigipigak did not know when things had gone so awry between them - was it losing Kivaluk or Sakhmet? Was it Asivaq's betrayal? He swallowed his feelings and ran.
The feeling of wind across his face was good; it was like freedom, before children, before unhappy wives, before cultural annihilation. As he ran he found himself going nearer to Brecheliant; his thoughts of his first-born must have subconsciously pulled him so far.
He saw a shape, prowling. They were dark but familiar; at first Kigipigak thought of Sakhmet which stabbed at him; then he saw it was,
Amalia.
She looked well - he had forgotten her alliegance to this other place, and thought it good that at least one of his friends was present to be a part of his son's life.
Are you hunting? I could help, if you'll have me.He would not intrude if she wanted him gone - so many did, these days.
RE: Do you see the brightest side of life - Amalia - May 07, 2024
Though Amalia had not forgotten her friend. Time away had lessened her memories of him though she did enjoy thinking of him time to time.
Had she known of his current quandary with the Moonglow wolves, she'd have not been surprised. They were not cruel par say, but they were certainly different. And sometimes those differences cleaved bonds. As Amalia herself had found out first hand. But she had forgiven and mostly forgotten.
A voice ran out and head lifted. Ears splayed wide, an open, surprised look on her face. That quickly blossomed into a smile.
Hello Kigipigak! Or wait? Did you change your name? Remind me? Did you tell me that?
She blinked then unsure. Perhaps she had just heard that. She shook her head, misplacing the thought. It didn't matter.
Of course! I am always happy to hunt with you. I was actually just debating if I was just crazy and reckless enough to try on my own.
RE: Do you see the brightest side of life - Kigipigak - May 07, 2024
I did, but it would not stick.He answered with a laugh, although it did not boom the same way it used to, and seemed a little bit forced. The man could claim it was for the sake of the wild game, that he did not want to spook what they might chase - but it was deeper than that.
You are a good hunter, and mad enough to try. It is better with friends.He had so few friends these days. It would be good for Kigipigak to be away from his troubles for a time - and he could bring something back, to prove he was capable despite the opinions of the moon wolves.
How has life been in your village? My son joined you, from what I have been told.Perhaps she had seen him, or his wife.
RE: Do you see the brightest side of life - Amalia - May 07, 2024
She listened close. The falsetto of voice. For a man who often seemed so brooding and closed off. He was an emotional man. You just had to look and listen. But she didn't press at it. It was not her place. If he wanted to speak of the troubles that furrowed his brow. She would and if he wanted to hunt and forget. Well they could do that as well.
Well i am of the opinion that Kigipigak is a good namw for you. For what it's worth.
She grinned then and dipp3d her head. Her body wiggling in anticpation and excitement.
I can't wait.
She blinked and chuckled.
Yes you are a grandpa! You old thing. Mmm a boy and two girls. I'm afraid I don't know their names yet though. Just that they were born. Kivaluk is a quiet man and Chickadee shy..
She wiggled and turned back to the herds. Not realizing she may have just hurt him. She had no idea of the battle between the son and his father.
I saw three possibilities.
RE: Do you see the brightest side of life - Kigipigak - May 08, 2024
As they walked, Amalia let slip some details which made Kigipigak stop and stand there, almost dumbfounded; maybe as close as one could get, with the air suddenly sucked from the space around him.
Grandfather.
Two girls, a boy.
Kivaluk, a husband, a father now! And Kigipigak was outside of that world. He felt pain in his chest that was so intense - and while the experience was brief, he recognized a profound wound deep down where he never liked to look.
His mind was as far from the hunt as it possibly could be.
Grandfather,he finally sighed; and his eyes were glossy. He spares a look at Amalia.
What good am I? I doubt I'll ever be welcome to meet my grandchildren. Kivaluk and I... things are complicated.Was there hope, knowing his son was far from the village? The thinnest kind, maybe.
Kigipigak stares at the earth, not far from tracks leading through the trees, but he has stopped hunting.
I think my wife plans to leave me, and I can't fault her.
His gaze slips to his friend's face.
Do you ever think of Natigvik? That was good, wasn't it? Before it all went away.Clinging now to good memories - seeing in his mind the face of Tulukiri, dead.
RE: Do you see the brightest side of life - Amalia - May 09, 2024
Amalia only noticed a beat of a minute later that she was toddering on without a follower and her murmurs had fallen on deaf ears.
She turned with wide eyes, ears perked high atop head. He looked so, so broken. She touched her paw to her chest.
She blinked.
Oh goodness! I'm sorry, I didn't, um realize that there was a small hiccup between you and Kivaluk.
She jogged back towards him and if he'd allow press a paw to one of his.
You are very good. Most wolves merely want your actions to speak as loud as your words. Whatever you promised Kivaluk, no matter how he feels show him you mean it. Even if he is cruel to you at times at first. Continue to do as you said you would. Just show up.
Amalia frowned sadly.
Sometimes no matter how hard we try our differences can cause too much distance. However, I also don't know all of your and her details. Perhaps you and she just need to have a conversation about what you need from each other. No matter how difficult. And no pride can talk.
She gave him a stern look and waved her other paw at him, which she quickly broke up with a smile.
A soft smile lit up her features.
It was good. We were just too small. I think with more wolves and perhaps not in winter it would succeed.
RE: Do you see the brightest side of life - Kigipigak - May 09, 2024
Finally he found someone reasonable to confide in. Kigipigak knew he should have been speaking freely with his wife about these things, but he found he could not. Asivaq was too easily swayed by the Sunshine blood in her veins; she was never going to hear him plainly, not while Kukutux was around to manipulate her. This was what he had dreaded about their return - but he would not speak against his issumatar, and Asivaq had wanted to return.
He shakes his head, wanting to trust what Amalia was saying.
We tried to build a village in the west, and it was a struggle. Very few wolves came our way, and then before we knew it we were outnumbered by another village forming practically on top of us. Our children were born - two girls, two boys. One of the boys was small and -- did not survive long.A tension caught in his jaw.
We returned to Moonglow and -- now it appears I am at fault for everything. Kukutux blames me, I know she does. I could not build a village for her daughter; I could not keep our children safe; and I fear that she will sway my wife against me.
It was a lot to lay before Amalia. But, she knew Kigipigak from a happier time, and she knew Kukutux, and was far enough removed to be impartial. Kigipigak swallowed whatever else he felt and found comfort here, sharing these things despite it going against his nature.
Every day it feels like I fight for an identity that is rejected. My children should be raised as Tartok, but they are now in a Sunshine village. I will lose more to Kukutux the longer we remain.
Perhaps they hoped to drive him off? Make him so miserable he might accept Asivaq's choice to separate - he couldn't be sure, but the fear was there. Kigipigak knew he could not let that happen; at best, he would be sure to rescue as many of the children as he could if it did.
RE: Do you see the brightest side of life - Amalia - May 10, 2024
Amalia listened closely. Or more so watched at first. She felt as if there was a great sundering possible, but also a great bridge if two hearts could learn to coexist.
Amalia frowned. Felt her heart tighten and her eyes fill with tears.
I'm so sorry Kigipigak. That must have been one of the hardest things.
Amalia blinked.
But have you asked? Did you ask Kukutux if she was angry at you and if so for what? Or are you simply making assumptions? And even if she is angry have you asked her how to fix it? Have you too aired your own grievances? How can anything be fixed if no one is talking? Because you seem angry too. No one should apologize for their feelings, but too those feelings will fester if not properly spoken.
Amalia looked at him sadly.
Oh Kigipigak. That is where you are wrong. They are Tartok yes, but their mother is sunshine. Those children have two halves to their whole existence. To tear away the sunshine ways or to tear away the Tartok causes great pain either way. They must be taught both, and both Kukutux and you must have the grace to accept that your children are both. Kukutux must allow Tartok ways, but you too must allow Sunshine ways. And perhaps some children will choose one and some the other, some may choose both. That is their choice not yours or Kukutux's to make for them. All you can do is guide. And love them anyway.
RE: Do you see the brightest side of life - Kigipigak - May 11, 2024
He remembered much of what was said by Sunman and Moonwoman. He remembered how blatantly he had acted as well, brazen in the wake of Asivaq's interest in him. There had been talk but it had been a hurtful kind.
Now Kigipigak saw no way back. Amalia's questions felt a little like nagging, as if she didn't think he was wise enough to reach those conclusions himself — and he knew that was unfair to think, because she was trying to help. If Kigipigak knew what to do he would not be seeking a friend right now to lend their aid.
I know they are of two places. It isn't just that they are Sunshine—it is that they refuse to allow for anything else. It is the fact that Kukutux already turned my son Kivaluk against me. Now she has the chance to raise her grandchildren and turn them against Tartok as well.A deep sigh resonates through him.
Neither the moonwoman or the sunman approved of our marriage - mine and Asivaq's,he hadn't realized he had used the now faded Tartok name for his wife and carried on;
We left because it was what she wanted, yet I am blamed. Now that we are back again she was welcomed, and I was... Tolerated. I feel that tolerance straining even now.
And once that last thread was snapped, Kigipigak knew what he would do. His children were the future and if he wasn't welcome, he did not think it would be safe for any of his blood. It was a strong opinion - with space for correction.
He huffs and shakes some of the tension out of his coat, trying to shed some of the serious feeling from his body.
I'm sorry to unload so much on you. Thank you for listening; it means more to me than you can know, having someone around who is kind and welcoming.
Then he looks around but, realizing their conversation had dominated the space, any sign of prey had vanished.
I suppose a hunt will have to wait for another day?
RE: Do you see the brightest side of life - Amalia - May 11, 2024
Amalia had not been privy to the conversation and she was only hearing one side to the story. When in this case there were three.
Amalia frowned. Moonwoman liked her ways, but she hadn't seemed intolerant, but perhaps Amalia had perceived it all differently. Even Maia had seemed to think not so highly of Moonwoman. Amalia was beginning to wonder what she had missed. But shook her head. It didn't matter the wolves in qiestion all treated her fairly. She had no right to judge based on opinions of each other.
Amalia studied him.
it sounds as if a honest and personal conversation needs had with all present. And no one can be angry they must be calm.
She made no mention of Kivaluk. Though moonwoman had not helped keep Kivaluk in his fathers graces. That was a relationship. Kigipigak and Sahkmet both had sort of ruined on their own. And Amalia could see that herself as she had been there. It wasn't beyond help and some day she had faith and hope it could be mended. But the blame couldn't be upon moonwoman herself
She shook her paw.
Oh I'm not worried about it. We can hunt anytime. I'm glad I could be a listening ear. I wish I could fixit for you.
RE: Do you see the brightest side of life - Kigipigak - May 13, 2024
Conversation did not feel apt for fixing anything. Kigipigak felt as though he had tried, numerous times. Perhaps he had not tried in a way that was useful - he had let his pride control his narrative for so long. He was hurt deeply by many things in the past, and rather than face that he had always found distractions; was that all Asivaq was? Now that their honeymoon phase was over and reality was surfacing-- Kigipigak did not like that as a possibility.
Amalia suggested a proper conversation and Kigipigak did not expect the immediate dread that filled him, twisting his gut and sapping him of any appetite. It was good they had not hunted; at the same time, Kigipigak was suddenly reluctant to return to the village.
He knew he must. The children needed their father present and providing; his wife too, for as long as she remained such.
I would like to visit sometime. Maybe I will come by to speak again, or actually hunt,he smiled thinly at this.
If you see my son, congratulate him for me? Wish him well. I would like to see him too, if he would allow it - but I will wait, it will be on his own time.
Perhaps that was another conversation he must have too. Kigipigak turned towards the mountains, breathing deeply as he considered everything.
Thank you again, Amalia. Farewell.
He gave a small bow to her and was off at a steady pace.