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+--- Thread: Swiftcurrent Creek sparking up my heart (/showthread.php?tid=6119)
sparking up my heart - Scimitar - December 04, 2014
For @Bazi if you have the time. :)
He had avoided her – cowardice, in so many forms, and yet Scimitar could not bring himself to seek her out just yet. But it could not be avoided for long, and the look of hurt on her face had twisted him even more so – somehow, he didn’t believe they could be pieced back together again. But how would they know if he didn’t even talk to her?
So his creamy paws trailed to the den Bazi seemed to have taken over—one that had once housed the Sveijarn family. Bending his muzzle lower to sniff at the snowy ground, the cinnamon male released a chuff to announce his presence in case she was inside. Flurries speckled his dark pelt, but he paid no mind – his aquamarine eyes were trained upon the den entrance, willing the ivory female who haunted him so to come out from its depths..
And Desperately, he tried to think of anything to say to her.
RE: sparking up my heart - Bazi - December 04, 2014
Scimitar had not sought her out, and Bazi had forced herself to give him space. Meanwhile, she healed, going about her business within the safety of Swiftcurrent borders. The onset of true winter had done wonders for her recovery, for she was once again gloriously white and fluffy, if a little lean. The ghastly yellow was gone, and Bazi was thankful for that.
When he eventually came to her, Bazi's heart did flips. She rose too quickly in the den, stifling a yowl of pain when her head hit the earthy ceiling. Breathe. Breathe. What would she say? What would he say? The flustered girl took a deep, steadying breath, exhaling into a cloud that was picked up by a passing breeze and dragged outside. After smoothing down some random patch of fur that really didn't need any attention, she followed it out.
Slow, tentative steps brought Bazi out into the open. Scimitar was standing there, dark against the wintry background and more handsome than she remembered. Alphaship suited him. This was what a leader should look like.
She did her best to look both tremendously pleased to see him whilst maintaining her dignity. They had yet to speak, and he was just as likely to ask her to leave the pack as he was to officially invite her back. Or?
Fuck. Why did I ever leave? It all seemed so petty now. Without Tuwawi or Paarthurnax to lean on, and with maturity looming, Bazi had simply.. panicked. Leadership, parenthood, love - you weren't supposed to experience all three at once. Bazi cleared her throat, and in a voice that had healed but still bore a hint of throatiness, open the dialogue: ".. hi."
RE: sparking up my heart - Scimitar - December 04, 2014
One ear flickered in the direction of the yelp, and with furrowed brows in concern, the Frostfur cast a glance to the den entrance. She emerged minutes after, and while he would have questioned if she was okay, the cool demeanor with which she approached with seemed to answer for him.
And then she followed with a rather awkward ‘hi.’
He was glad they were alone – she might have been young, but somehow, she also made him feel equally so – and less graceful about it. “Hi,” he offered back, his muzzle lifting as his gaze roved over her. She seemed to be improved since he had last seen her, though he had not gotten a good look – he had avoided eye contact with her as best he could during that interlude, and Kaskara’s fury was evident in her eyes afterward.
“I wanted to say welcome home. I didn’t get a chance to do that yet.” It wasn’t entirely true – he could have done it the moment her paws hit the Creek’s soil. But he also had his paws tied up in matters that certainly concerned him – and he was uncertain what Bazi’s reaction would be when she learned of Paarthurnax’s pregnancy also. “I would have brought something for you to eat, but our caches are empty..” No, they were certainly having a rough go at it, and the male rolled his shoulders back, trying to release the tension he currently felt.
RE: sparking up my heart - Bazi - December 04, 2014
"Hi."
A good start. Bazi's tail swayed lightly behind her, and she complemented her pedestrian greeting with a weak little smile.
"I wanted to say welcome home. I didn’t get a chance to do that yet."
Better! Bazi felt herself relax. The feeling was something akin to gravity returning - she could feel the ground beneath her paws, rather than the uncomfortable, floating sensation that made her want to dig her claws into the earth for safety.
"It's OK - you're Alpha now.. it's not exactly an easy gig," she replied, cocking her head to one side to appraise him. There was warmth behind her smile now - a returning confidence. "You really look like an Alpha."
RE: sparking up my heart - Scimitar - December 04, 2014
It took only a few moments for the indignation he felt at her bailing on him to flare up once more, and while her words were meant as a compliment, they were a bitter slap to what had transpired between them just before she had left. She had dumped full responsibility on him, left him behind when they had only just started courting, and basically offered a ‘peace out’ sign to the Creek.
“I didn’t have much choice in the matter,” he reminded her, his words neither harsh nor soft. So often, especially now, did he desire nothing more than to place someone else at the helm – gather the few that did find the neighbors of the Creek a little too bitter for their tastes, and stake claim elsewhere. He desired no more than a peaceful life – and it seemed impossible to achieve.
RE: sparking up my heart - Bazi - December 05, 2014
"I didn’t have much choice in the matter."
Bazi dropped her gaze to the ground. She hadn't expected a 'thank you', but neither had she expected that Scimitar would see leadership as such a burden. To lead was still an honour, and one that she - not even two at the time - had not been deserving of. He was older than her by several years, and far more sensitive to the needs of pack - a good fit for Swiftcurrent Creek after having two tempestuous ladies at the helm.
It made Bazi a little angry. "Neither did I," she returned, brows crinkling over her stormy blue eyes as she raised her head back up. "I.. you..." Bazi breathed a frustrated little sigh. "I panicked."
RE: sparking up my heart - Scimitar - December 05, 2014
He released a sigh at her words – recalling her concerns of her own leading abilities. Yet she had challenged Fox – had taken the rank from her. It was different somehow, yes.. but he also recalled when Bazi had begged him to take leadership above her. Would she still have run if he had said yes?
Then, she spoke again, drawing his eyes to sharply look upon her pretty features. She had panicked. It didn’t make him feel better – and how terribly he wanted to simply tell her it was okay.. that it felt better to forgive and forget than to hold on to the pain. But he couldn’t – because he no longer trusted her. He did not know where that put them any longer.
“Did you find what you were looking for?” It was hardly a simple question – but it was something he needed to know. When things got tough.. and they surely were about to erupt in Swiftcurrent Creek once more.. would she simply run away again?
RE: sparking up my heart - Bazi - December 05, 2014
He didn't reprimand her, but the silence was almost worse. It wasn't as though he could sweep her little field trip under the rug, and his eyes offered her no clue as to the extent of the work she would need to put in to regain his trust.
"Did you find what you were looking for?"
"No," Bazi answered, misunderstanding his question. "Tuwawi.. Tuwawi is gone. The Glacier had a problem with lynxes, and only Njal and Maera remain. The cats made of with Larus, Val is nowhere to be found, or Jökull.. it's a huge mess. Nothing like the idyllic family pack I had imagined..." She trailed off, eyes widening as realization came upon her. He hadn't meant literally. Flustered, the girl began again, her voice trembling ever so slightly. "I just wanted advice. Tuwawi, Danica, and Paarthurnax were all just gone, and I hadn't planned to be gone for more than a quarter moon's turn.. I ran there, and I was going to run back.. but I fell."
That was that, really. Heeding Kaskara's advice, Bazi left out that she had considered fleeing outright. The feeling had lasted for all but a split second, and as soon as she was beyond Swiftcurrent borders, all she had wanted to do as turn back. "I suppose I found what I was looking for in that pit, though," she mumbled. "I regret leaving. Even if I was only intending to be gone for a little while. Please believe that."
RE: sparking up my heart - Scimitar - December 09, 2014
Her answer wasn’t what he meant – but he was partially to blame for that, as his words continued to beat around the huge elephant in the room. Still, her report of the once happy family caused him to flinch slightly, his ears sliding back atop his crown. ‘Their stories will be so wonderfully plain.’ Her words at the time had held a sorrowful passion within them – and he recalled his own answer with perfect clarity: ‘Until we manage to ruin them as well.’ Except it had not been the Creek’s doing – instead, it was likely ruin would fall upon Paarthurnax’s puppies, and the crossfire they were about to be born in to.
He did not respond on the Sveijarn family – they hadn’t been particularly fond of him, and he had no place for judgment. Instead, the ivory dove seemed to clue in to what he really meant, and while she stumbled over an answer, he simply cast her a blinking stare before giving one quick sweep of his muzzle in a finalized nod. As he stood before her, he knew it wasn’t the same between them – and it likely never would. Perhaps,. One day, they could settle on friendship instead.
“I do,” he responded, his own tone hushed before his shoulders rolled back in a light shrug to accompany it. “The Creek will always be your home.” But sometimes he wondered if it would be so for him.
RE: sparking up my heart - Bazi - December 09, 2014
As usual, he wasn't giving her much to work with. No blame, no fire. Bazi frowned at his lackluster answer - the accompanying shrug physically hurt. The path they had tentatively started down together no longer stretched ahead of her into the brilliantly bright, idyllic future she had invented for them on one of her more whimsical days.
Part of her just felt jilted. There she was, returned from the grave, and he seemed entirely preoccupied with something else. Emboldened by this feeling, the fiery little girl took a step forward. "You don't sound happy," she pressed. "Why? Kaskara is here, and Saber found you." In her bitterness, she almost asked him if he missed Fox. "Or is it the business with Shadow?"
RE: sparking up my heart - Scimitar - December 09, 2014
His eyes roved over her lithe body – injured, still, it would seem – she was not the proud and healthy looking Bazi he had met upon his first day at the Creek, and wistfully, he recalled that day without any clarity now. She was still entirely far too enticing – the smallest cant of her muzzle was endearing, and the flick of her ear would have the potential to try to pull him in and sweep her to an embrace.
Except that she had ran from it all too quickly, and the trust he had so vehemently held for her had completely dissipated in to nothing. Once before he had stood up for her with firm convictions – had even made to protect her for very different reasons he did now. But he couldn’t pull back what they had once had the possibility of having.. and he was no longer certain he even wanted to.
But here they were – and she was trying to coax his feelings from him. “Shadow’s consistent presence even when he’s not physically here doesn’t help,” he murmured dryly in return, his thoughts drifting to the potential that arose there. “But I didn't come here to cry about my feelings. I came to see how you were and if you were settling in.”
RE: sparking up my heart - Bazi - December 21, 2014
Conclude?
He might as well have been a sergeant dismissing a rank of underlings. Heat rose into Bazi's cheeks, but he would not know it without touching his nose to her skin - something she suspected he would never do again. The pale girl's face relaxed into the very definition of a neutral expression.
"I'm doing fine," she responded plainly, "Everyone's been great. Thank you, for having me back."
RE: sparking up my heart - Scimitar - December 26, 2014
Something shifted between them -- whether it was her realization that this formality between them was their new reality or not, she seemed to become almost robotic, or despondent. With a nod, the cinnamon male allowed his eyes to linger on her leg, feeling a twinge of regret that she had hurt herself.
But he had also asked her not to go, and she had, once more, proven that Bazi did whatever Bazi wanted to do and that no one else would ever really be considered in the interim. Somehow, he felt it couldn't all be blamed upon her younger age.
"I'll leave you to rest then," he spoke, giving a quick nod. There were many things he could say, or even that he wanted to say.. But now was not the time, nor did he trust himself. Not yet.
With that, the newly acclaimed Alpha turned, his large form quick to lope in the opposite direction of the pale she-wolf.