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+--- Thread: Bearclaw Valley i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday every day (/showthread.php?tid=62026)
i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday every day - Lilitu - July 05, 2024
Her steps had carried her farther rather than nearer to the Creek. Still incensed, confused, and rattled by that run-in with the young man, she wandered aimlessly. Every time her thoughts wandered, she thought, This is it. I'm going mad.
Only to wake up the next morning, still whole in body and mind. For now.
Bearclaw Valley. Lilitu saw it emerge from the distance, and felt an immense sense of sorrow come over her. Her sister had been here, once, but she'd come to find the place abandoned.
As she drew closer, though. . .she realized it was anything but.
Her nostrils flared quickly, frantically, trying to take in the mingled scents. She didn't think she smelled Arielle, but then again, it had been some time. Maybe her sister didn't patrol the borders.
Maybe she was here.
Lilitu sent a questioning call into the sky, trying to keep both hope and fear at bay as she waited for the response.
RE: i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday every day - Ancelin - July 27, 2024
on edge and high-footed, the feral rex stole along the shadowline in a tongue-lolling trot.
his indigo eyes peered through the foliage, finding the figure with the green tang to her aura.
she'd called and so after a moment ancelin slid from the primeval leaves to regard her with a teeth-flashing grin, cold without a hint of welcome.
yet the melonii stare was curious, fiercely so. "this is bearclaw valley. i'm ancelin. you rang?"
don't come any closer, his tail telegraphed with a sideways lash, nostrils drinking in that odd tint once more and labeling it unknown enough to keep her back.
his indigo eyes peered through the foliage, finding the figure with the green tang to her aura.
she'd called and so after a moment ancelin slid from the primeval leaves to regard her with a teeth-flashing grin, cold without a hint of welcome.
yet the melonii stare was curious, fiercely so. "this is bearclaw valley. i'm ancelin. you rang?"
don't come any closer, his tail telegraphed with a sideways lash, nostrils drinking in that odd tint once more and labeling it unknown enough to keep her back.
RE: i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday every day - Lilitu - July 27, 2024
There was no warm welcome here; the young man was wary, immediately throwing a wall up between the two of them. Lilitu lowered her eyes in deference, her tail swishing around her hocks, shoulders relaxed.
Hi, Ancelin,she replied, warmth reaching her smile despite her unease.
I was curious. . .my sister lived here once. Her name was Arielle. I just wanted to know if she ever came back.
There was something familiar about his pelt, come to think of it. But she cast it aside, hoping for a more definitive answer to her search.
And if Arielle had never been here. . .she could leave it behind for good. Forever.
RE: i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday every day - Ancelin - July 28, 2024
he hadn't expected — this.
anger filled his youthful features, followed by confusion and then a cold look. he blinked, trying to keep the indigo gaze from writing her off altogether.
"arielle is my mother. i haven't seen her in years." and she isn't welcome, his posture said.
but his intrigue remained clear, punctuated by a self-deprecating laugh. "i guess that makes you — auntie?" another one? was she gonna leave too? better not to even recognize her as family if so.
anger filled his youthful features, followed by confusion and then a cold look. he blinked, trying to keep the indigo gaze from writing her off altogether.
"arielle is my mother. i haven't seen her in years." and she isn't welcome, his posture said.
but his intrigue remained clear, punctuated by a self-deprecating laugh. "i guess that makes you — auntie?" another one? was she gonna leave too? better not to even recognize her as family if so.
RE: i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday every day - Lilitu - August 06, 2024
The shock and joy at finding a nephew before her was short-lived. His bitterness was all too apparent, like the first blast of arctic air as autumn turned to winter. She found herself without words, and took a moment to compose herself, instead committing the sight of him to memory.
Ancelin. Nephew.
I guess it does, yeah,Lilitu finally admitted, letting free an exhale tinged with apology.
I haven't seen her in years, either. I'm sorry. . .our family is kind of, um, flighty.
She gave him the gentlest of smiles, and raised her muzzle in gesture over his shoulder, deeper into the valley.
But this is your home now?she asked rhetorically.
What made you come back? When I came last, it wasn't settled at all.
RE: i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday every day - Ancelin - August 12, 2024
back? his face reflected confusion for a moment. "i wasn't born here. i was born to aventus and arielle of redtail rise." ancelin scoffed. "he didn't really tell me shit about this place, honestly. not he. not aunt avicus either. they both lived there."
the words were pouring; he wasn't sure how to stop them. "but then my dad left, and my mom left, and my brother left — oh, he's atreus — and then avicus left. so fuck it. my mate and i came here. ameline."
his eyes softened a touch. "i guess you have some — grand nieces? second nieces? i dunno. the oldest is athalia. then this year we had avalita, athella, adalynn, and andrelia. amneris, athalia's sister, used to kick around here too."
lots of A names. why was he standing here blabbering them all to her. "so. are you — staying? just visiting?"
the words were pouring; he wasn't sure how to stop them. "but then my dad left, and my mom left, and my brother left — oh, he's atreus — and then avicus left. so fuck it. my mate and i came here. ameline."
his eyes softened a touch. "i guess you have some — grand nieces? second nieces? i dunno. the oldest is athalia. then this year we had avalita, athella, adalynn, and andrelia. amneris, athalia's sister, used to kick around here too."
lots of A names. why was he standing here blabbering them all to her. "so. are you — staying? just visiting?"
RE: i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday every day - Lilitu - August 13, 2024
It took a moment for her to realize the confusion. Redtail Rise, and for some reason, that rang familiar in her mind. There were a lot of names to keep track of—most of them, interestingly enough, starting by the same letter. It was a muddle. . .but a wonderful muddle.
Family.
I figured you had been born here,Lilitu said with a shrug.
I suppose that was just a bad guess. You have so many children! I. . .
Oh, God, she wished she could stay. It hadn't been a glimmer in her mind until now, but in this moment, she wished nothing but to be the good great-aunt to his kids, to be the family that didn't leave.
I can't stay; I'm sorry,she murmured, shaking her head.
I wish I could. In fact, I'm leaving soon—I don't know whether I'll see you again.
He'd shared so much with her—she felt a desire to share with him. But maybe he didn't care, given his antipathy toward his mother?
It came out, anyway.
Arielle and I, our mother died a couple years ago. Her name was Ibis. Our father's name is Akavir; he's the leader of Swiftcurrent Creek, which is—She tilted her head, looking back the way she came, and chuckled a bit at the coincidence.
Not too far from here, actually.
We were born in this huge valley in the mountains just to the south—if you ever see it, you won't miss it. It's enormous. But we never were able to stick together, as a family. I've been looking for her almost my entire life. Finding you is just as good,she added, smiling.
RE: i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday every day - Ancelin - August 20, 2024
there was a lot to glean, not the least of which was the fact that "i'm related to akavir?" sort of?? but his tone was more wondering than anything, his ears swung forward to listen to the rest of what his aunt was saying.
it was — bittersweet, and ancelin clearly wanted to ask why she couldn't stay. yet the years of his own bitterness and aversion to family would not let him inquire. he was better at accepting, anyway.
glancing toward the mountains as she mentioned them. ibis.
lilitu's last sentiment hit him hard. ancelin shuffled in place, staring at the ground before he looked up to answer. "thank you, lilitu. it's nice you came. better than nice. i'll tell the girls about you. and — you know, if i do see you again, just — stay here."
because they were family, and because her coming to bearclaw valley to tell him more about himself than arielle ever had — that was invaluable.
it was — bittersweet, and ancelin clearly wanted to ask why she couldn't stay. yet the years of his own bitterness and aversion to family would not let him inquire. he was better at accepting, anyway.
glancing toward the mountains as she mentioned them. ibis.
lilitu's last sentiment hit him hard. ancelin shuffled in place, staring at the ground before he looked up to answer. "thank you, lilitu. it's nice you came. better than nice. i'll tell the girls about you. and — you know, if i do see you again, just — stay here."
because they were family, and because her coming to bearclaw valley to tell him more about himself than arielle ever had — that was invaluable.
RE: i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday every day - Lilitu - August 21, 2024
She giggled a bit.
So you know him,she replied.
Yeah, I guess he'd be your grandfather. You should definitely let him know that—he hasn't seen Arielle lately, either.
Her breath was coming short as he responded with hope, hope! She wished there was a way to reconcile his abandonment with the family that would surround and love him now.
Ancelin, I am dying,she said, deciding to be honest.
You won't see me again. But I'd be so happy if you did tell the girls about our family. Especially about Ibis. My mother was amazing. . .and gone way too soon.
She dipped her head, and if he'd allow, she'd press her muzzle against Ancelin's shoulder.
Take care, please,she murmured.
After that, she was gone.
RE: i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday every day - Ancelin - August 24, 2024
"w-wait. what? what?"
but she was gone. ancelin hurried forward a few steps, then stopped.
she was gone. she was dying.
tell them about ibis. about lilitu.
tell them about me.
"okay," he whispered hoarsely to empty air.
it wasn't okay. not what was happening to her. it wasn't an abandonment. but it was a loss.
it took him some time to go home.
but she was gone. ancelin hurried forward a few steps, then stopped.
she was gone. she was dying.
tell them about ibis. about lilitu.
tell them about me.
"okay," he whispered hoarsely to empty air.
it wasn't okay. not what was happening to her. it wasn't an abandonment. but it was a loss.
it took him some time to go home.