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walrus fat - Chakliux - November 01, 2024 set whenever and no rush! <3
"@Dutch?"
his voice was soft and scarcely believing as he came to the place where the panther had returned in weakness and injury. valiant as well, and katmai besides. quietly he stepped among the lodges, his heart beating, heart racing. what had happened? and would he find his companion quite changed? RE: walrus fat - Dutch - November 03, 2024 Dutch had missed Simbelmyne. He'd longed for her. Worried after her. Agonized over the hurt she would suffer at his expense; how he had failed her and their children. How he wished, desperately, that he could wake up with her in his arms as if from a horrible dream. Dutch had missed Simbelmyne. But Chakliux — he did not have words to describe what he felt for the other man. Simbelmyne was his wife and his partner, and he loved her like he had loved no other woman before her. But, if he was forced to give a name to his other half, he knew it would be — "Chakliux," he murmured, lifting his head from a dead slumber at the sound of the other man's voice. he struggled to his paws, untangling himself from a pile that included Valiant, Katmai, and — to his surprise — Chagak. Dutch pressed a reverent kiss to the sleeping faces of either boy before stumbling into the open, directly into the seal hunter's path. "Mera bhai," he said, a smile in his voice even as his mouth trembled. Chakliux looked changed to him, somehow — but he quickly realized that it was only his blurred vision at fault. When he shut his injured eye, Chakliux was the same. And, despite a missing ear and a thinned body and the ugly, tattered wounds on his shoulder, Dutch finally felt like himself once more. RE: walrus fat - Chakliux - November 11, 2024 chakliux inhaled and grabbed dutch gently, pulling him forward. for a moment they only held one another in a silent paroxysm of muscle and intakes of breath.
"i believed you dead," the seal hunter heard himself say in a garbled, broken voice he did not even recognize. tears were upon his face; he did not brush them away, but wept them openly. "my heart — it fails me with words to see you home. alive," chakliux breathed, his berrybright eyes now flicking with worry over the rendings in dutch's hide. RE: walrus fat - Dutch - November 11, 2024 There was a long, quiet moment where Dutch could do nothing but fall gratefully into the seal hunter's embrace. He was held, very gently — cradled, almost — for the first time in many months. The tenderness of the moment sapped all the strength from him, and — just for a moment! — it was understood that his only job in the world was to keep breathing. So he focused on that, his ribcage fanning outward with unusual effort. Dutch was strong enough for this. Chakliux, in that small moment, was strong enough for everything else. But in the way of men, the panther quickly found the seeds of shame and competition. He rallied, sweeping a thin arm outward to tighten the embrace; there was no need for Chakliux to be gentle with him, after all. But there was no embarrassment in his tears. No embarrassment in the way that his heart broke open at the sound of the other man's voice. No embarrassment in the relief that bloomed hot and vital in his chest as reality settled in: He was safe again. He was home and he was safe. "My heart has been here," he said after many steadying, laborious breaths. He opened his mouth to speak more, and then only buried his face against the thick fur at the other man's shoulder instead. The heady seaspray scent of him made his heart beat unevenly. "Thank you," he breathed, still full of miserable, heart-wrenching sentiment. "For my family. Our family. I knew — I worried for all of you, but I knew you would be there for them." RE: walrus fat - Chakliux - November 12, 2024 somehow — it was too difficult not to blame himself also for this nightmare from which simbelmyne and dutch could not wake. arms tightened around the panther, for it was good to hold him, to feel the life and the breath in his heart-companion.
our family. his wives loved dutch; his blood ran among the five children. it was as things should be. "and i am here for you also," chakliux finally managed, strangely filled with hunger at the clawing intensity of his emotions. "for you. for her. for them." his eyes asked the questions his mouth refused yet to form. too many things unsaid simmering might spoil a boiling bag, but he could not be the one to speak first. too much had already been taken from his panther. RE: walrus fat - Dutch - November 12, 2024 oh my lord I apologize for this wall of text please just skim
The panther drew in another sharp, unsteady breath at the promise in his seal hunter's voice. Oh, how he knew it! Their bond ran to a depth Dutch hadn't known he possessed. Not for the first time, he felt — called to action, But he was uncertain as to what action he was meant to take. So he only held Chakliux a little tighter before, reluctantly, pulling away. The look on the seal hunter's face made him wonder, briefly, if he too felt that an embrace could not convey the strength of feeling behind it. He divined, however, that he must instead be wondering where Dutch had been all this time. "We were following a ravine," Dutch murmured, his voice still low as he drew his seal hunter further away from the sleeping pile. They were still in his line of sight when he sat with his shoulder braced against a coastal cypress, but they would not disturb their slumber. "Looking for Nutuyikruk," he went on, explaining. "Months ago, now. We were travelling along a ravine when the weather took a strange turn. The rain was so thick we could not see through it, and then the earth rumbled beneath us and the ground began to fall away. I made it to safety, and Valiant did not." This was the first of his many failings on the journey, and Dutch looked away from Chakliux, out toward the ocean, so that he would not have to see the judgement or absolution in his eyes. "He was buried. I could not see him, at first, but I stood at the edge calling his name for — for a long time," Dutch said quietly, his voice reedy once more. "Eventually, he pulled himself from the mud. He answered me, and then he did not. I looked for a way down, but — it was dark. The way was very far. I'd found no path before the earth rumbled again. This time it was the floods coming down the ravine. The water — " Here, he had to stop and swallow down the lump in his throat. Even knowing the outcome, the memory still filled him with grief and dread. "I was so afraid," he admitted, though under forgiving starlight, he knew this was only natural. Of course he had been afraid. "The water washed away the mud, and I could see him once more. Sometimes he swam, but other times he only... floated. And I followed his body down the river, further and further from home. An impossible distance! It was daylight again before I lost sight of him. I followed the ravine anyway, and I found him again the next day. Alive! But still so far down. He was hurt. He couldn't stand. He just lay there on a muddy embankment, and we could only pray that the water would keep going down, that I could find a way to reach him..." The threat of losing himself in these memories forced him to distance himself from the narrative. He cast his gaze downward for a moment before looking up at Chakliux once more. "I did. Eventually," he said, steadier now. "And brought him to a safer place. But he could not make the climb to higher ground. We made camp there, but most days, I only dropped food over the edge. The way was not easy." His eyes fluttered shut. He was tired. "I caught Katmai's scent on a hunt, and I followed it. For weeks. And when I found him, he was with other wolves who meant to keep him. I killed two, but a third ran instead of fighting. We returned to Valiant. I thought I would find his body, but somehow, he was still alive. Just... so weak." There was a part of Dutch, even now, that wished he would've found him dead. The guilt might have been greater, but meeting his brother's eyes after abandoning him had been one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do. "So we fed him," said Dutch. "But many weeks passed before we were able to pull him from the ravine. I pushed and Katmai pulled. And we have been traveling since then. Through a mountain pass instead of alongside the ravine. The way was... difficult. And the wolf that got away came back in the night. We were all weak, by then." But Dutch had killed him, too. An ear and another life was not too great a price to pay for his son. But all this time away... it was difficult for the panther to decide what the right choice should have been. If he should have abandoned Valiant long ago. If he should have written Nutuyikruk off before they'd even come to the ravine. RE: walrus fat - Chakliux - November 16, 2024 NEVERRR
there was an eternal gratitude in chakliux for how vast the lands were inside dutch's heart, how the seal hunter was invited evermore as inhabitant.
they had searched for the poor child of ariadne, gone after her mother. he was reminded that samani too had been accompanied back to the sunshine goddess Sedna with a girl-child, and his spirit was moved to sadness once more. only imagining the horror dutch must have surely experienced to see valiant plummeting beneath a maw of broken earth, he exhaled, understanding in his gaze. but now the panther had looked away, and the seal hunter was only quiet, listening. a flood. again, he only pulled into his mind this illustration of mud and of sorrow, of horror and of dutch running as far as he was able to find valiant again. his companion, torn between caring for a brother too weak to move and a son taken. bloodstained he had found himself, returning to what might be a grave. no more talk of killing, but chakliux knew. how could he not? "you let no one take any family from you. your mind knew that simbelmyne and your other children were safe here." it was a justification anyone might make; if chakliux had been in such a place, losing raiyuk, he would not have returned until he knew truly his son was dead. "i do not blame you." but would it matter if simbelmyne was not so understanding? her suffering had been so great, as if on the other side of valiant's near-death had been her own funerary rites. "it is such a heavy thing you have experienced, dutch. there will be many more things to feel." RE: walrus fat - Dutch - November 19, 2024 It hurt to be absolved in this way, by this man. But he spoke words that had been in the panther's heart already. He had known that Simbelmyne and the other children were safe. Chakliux would take care of them. He'd had to believe that. The moment was too weighty. Dutch swallowed down many things before he felt light enough to look up into berrybright eyes once more. "You are wise," he replied, reluctant to agree that there would be lasting effects of this ordeal, but knowing his pride was not worth voicing any disagreement on the matter. This truth was safe between them. He was safe. "But, now I am home," he said, his voice warm. Tired, but full of love. "There is the whole of winter to heal in. And, come springtime, I will be ready to chase more little seal hunters around the lodges." He was not sure if Simbelmyne would ever let him touch her again, but he could at least be sure that Chakliux would not fail to procreate. This was a comfort to him. And, this time, he would be here. Their families would not part again. RE: walrus fat - Chakliux - November 25, 2024 "and i am ready to sit with you in the sun outside our lodges and listen to their laughter," the seal hunter said quietly, still unwilling to part physical contact with dutch as if the panther would simply cease to exist.
it had been harder to have him gone than chakliux had realized. more fearsome. more horrifying, the emptiness left behind in their homes. "you will see our sons become men," he grinned with realization. "in the cold of spring, they will take their seals. raiyuk had seen eleven months. they will train until then." theirs. ours. all chakliux possessed belonged in grateful part to the man before him. |