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+--- Thread: Deepwood Weald father (/showthread.php?tid=66303)
father - Ludovicus - September 12, 2025
It had been a day for exploration, Ludo certainly old enough to be making trips out of the territory. Older pack members were out and about completing tasks mundane and thrilling alike, so nobody would truly be too far away.
Nonetheless, stood at the northern most end of the weald Ludovicus couldn't help feeling strangely alone. He could see the ocean from here, a first for him, and yet he felt like he had stared into these waters a million times over. From here it called to him, whispered familiar words in his ears and begged him to visit. He couldn't help feeling like someone was waiting for him.
Wind blew past his ears, and suddenly Ludo felt tears pricking at his eyes. He remembered now why he hadn't left the eyes of Moonglow since Raindrop brought him home. The complete silence of the weald forced his usually busy brain to compromise.
He had begun to accept the hard truths of his situation in the moment. He had been lucky; Raindrop had taken him in, he had been surrounded with gifted mentors, and he felt that for once he had a complete family. But was any of it truly his?
Ludovic didn't know who he was anymore, not really. His name - his real, entire name - was difficult to remember now. He knew he had a father, a grandmother, an uncle, a sister, but he could remember none of their faces. He knew he had been born on a mountain, but he didn't know where. So much was growing to be blurry, even his days on Moonspear or the scent of his maman.
Everything was set up for him to move on, to forget, but he couldn't help holding on.
RE: father - Angel Oak - September 14, 2025
Angel hadn't been following the boy, exactly, but when she kept crossing his scent on her way toward the coast, her paws did the work almost without her permission. Soon enough, they were in the deep wood where some of her adopted Morningside cousins had once roosted. She'd not been here until after they abandoned it to join Moontide, but she knew the story.
Her surname was Morningbreeze, but she knew that this was only because her father had loved and been loved by Easy Morningside, who had adopted him and her in turn, when she was born. She'd visited her adopted grandmother at Round Valley, where so many of her other adopted relatives ran amok. It'd been nice to be surrounded by "family" — but there'd always been a part of Angel that'd known. That just couldn't seem to shake the sense of a divide, an insurmountable lack.
There was less family, here. Her father was gone. Half her sisters, too. It was just her and Raindrop and Rosie, but at least they were hers, undeniably, and that had to be enough.
Angel padded up beside the boy, feeling outside of herself, for a moment. It was her and Raindrop and Rosie, and now it was Ludo, too. And Valiant. And all of Moonglow, she supposed; they, too, were becoming hers. She wondered if, if she'd stayed long enough, Round Valley would have become hers, too.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, planting her butt in the dirt. Clearly, she meant to stick around.
RE: father - Ludovicus - September 14, 2025
Ludo found himself surprised when Angel joined him. His kneejerk reaction was to wipe his tears away, spilling out a
no,in response.
I'm okay.
While Raindrop had adopted him into her family, Ludovic hadn't found himself growing particularly close to either of her daughters. They were older, he was shy, and maybe a part of him felt that he was taking away their mother. It was hard not to worry they might resent him.
Breathing in deeply, he pushed it out in one clear breath. For now, his tears were gone. Ludo had grown up with a mother who never seemed to cry, and supposed that he must have adopted Pala's habits along the way. He hated crying, he hated it more when someone saw him. When Raindrop and Ponderosa had found him in the weald weeping only a few months prior he had felt embarassed, but at least that seemed reasonable. Now he didn't really now why the tears had come.
RE: father - Angel Oak - September 15, 2025
Angel lifted a pale brow at the denial. Really, though, it ought not to shock her that the boy would be reluctant to share his woes, or to even be seen crying. She'd had quite enough of Valiant's stoicism by the end of their little jaunt, and she hoped that he would not instill it in Ludovic.
"Right," she said, not unkindly. "I always cry in the woods when I'm okay."
But, actually, she sort of did. Sadness wasn't wrong, after all.
"It's okay, though," she said, taking a different tact. "We don't have to talk about it. But I mean — maybe I've been through somethin' kinda similar, y'know? Losing my pack, my dad, half my sisters. And now we have new family."
She offered him a wan smile.
"But if you really want, I can leave you alone."
RE: father - Ludovicus - September 15, 2025
Ludo couldn't stop his brow from furrowing at Angel's response. To him, their situations were not similar in the least.
Angel had lost too, he wouldn't deny that, but Ludovic had lost everything. He doubted that she could really know how it felt, to be completely removed from your own blood. He was grateful for Moonspear, grateful for Raindrop, but it didn't stop him from feeling out of place.
He had a mother in Raindrop, but he wouldn't dare call her that. He had sisters in Angel and Ponderosa, but he couldn't acknowledge them as such. Ludo wasn't ready, but the world was still moving forward without him. He was still fighting to make himself feel like he deserved any of this, feel like he belonged here.
I don't want to talk about it.He reaffirmed. It was out of place for him to be so sour, maybe that was why he kept taking deep breaths after the tension slipped through his brows and tongue. It didn't feel good to be cruel.
Looking back towards the sea, he wrapped his tail around himself.
..I've never seen the ocean before.
RE: father - Angel Oak - September 15, 2025
That didn't phase her. She wished he would open up, but it wasn't as though he knew her. And Angel knew that she often wanted time with her thoughts before they ever saw the light of day. If they ever saw the light of day. Perhaps some small part of her did think him bratty — but he was a child, and that was what children were like.
Angel blinked in surprise, and looked out at the water with new eyes, trying to see it differently. It had been one of the very first things she laid eyes on, though, and she couldn't imagine it not being part of her.
"It's big, huh?" she said, only able to guess at what Ludo might think of it. She stepped forward, shooting him an inviting smile as she did. "I was born right next to it, and I lived there my whole life until Moontide dissolved, and we went to live at Moonglow."
Those memories were hard for her.
"I couldn't sleep at first," she told him. "The ocean — even being just beside it — is a full-body experience. It was strange not to hear the waves, or feel them crashing against the beach, or smell it on the breeze." Almost like losing a dear friend, but she didn't think he'd care to hear that, and she didn't think the idea would benefit him, either. "We should go look at it closer," she said.
RE: father - Ludovicus - September 15, 2025
Ludovic was happy to move on, to have Angel talk about herself instead. He wouldn't tell her about the whispers that lingered when he looked at the water.
I guess I felt the same way about the mountains.Until Moonglow, they were the only territories he had lived in.
Yeah.. I'd like to take a look.He decided. Looking to Angel, he waited for her to lead the way. It was hard to avoid feeling wary of the waters ahead, the only stories he had been told of them were that of death and despair. Warnings from his mother to keep his distance while they travelled.
But, now he was older, and there was no undertow to take him away like it did when the moon would rise.. and there was no Pala here to tell him to stay back.
RE: father - Angel Oak - September 17, 2025
Angel Oak had a healthy respect for the sea, but she felt no wariness as she approached. The beach was still a long way off, but they were close enough to hear the distant boom! of breaking waves and the persistent susurrus of sand and sea grass in the breeze. Gulls called overhead, and took flight as the two wolves emerged from the forest altogether to move briskly through the dry grass.
"This plateau is where I was born," she said, her voice quiet under the coastal chatter. "Rodyn led it — all my life, until we came here. There were two or three litters other than my own. We used to run between dens all together, begging from one set of parents until they chased us off, just to run to another."
They'd come to the old borders. There was no trace of them, now.
"I hope Moonglow will be like that, one day," she told him, her voice wistful. "I think, on that day, it'll truly be home."
RE: father - Ludovicus - September 17, 2025
The ocean was far different than anything Ludo had known. Loud, present, open. He couldn't imagine listening to gulls and waves day in and day out.
Though he had to admit, listening to Angel speak of her childhood was appealing. He had never been around other litters until Moonglow, and he would be too old to play with them for some time. It was hard to imagine, but it would have been nice to grow up with close friends.
I'm not sure what I need..He responded, staring out to the distance where the water met the sky.
I don't know what will make Moonglow feel like home.
The words slipped from his tongue without thought, and he seemed to sink after it was spoken. But it was the truth. None of this felt like it was his, and he didn't know how to change that. Not yet.
RE: father - Angel Oak - September 18, 2025
The sea drew both their eyes, and a contemplative quiet stole over them. That was fine; Angel was still a chatterbox, but she'd learned that not every moment needed to be filled by someone's voice. The earth spoke, too. The earth and the sea and the wind in the trees.
Into the quiet, Ludovic spoke words from his heart.
Angel breathed them in, and then let that breath out in a slow sigh.
"You don't have to know," she told him, still looking out at the sea. "I didn't, for a long time. It hurts not to know. It's lonely to feel... unmoored. But sometimes we don't have a choice."
She looked back at him, her expression grave.
"I had to leave to figure out this was where I wanted to be," she admitted, her ears slicking back for a brief moment. "When you get a little older — if you're still not sure — maybe it would help to travel a little. See what's out there. Some people find their place elsewhere. I'll even go with you, if you want. But whatever you do, you have a place with us. And even if it doesn't feel quite right, we're still here for you."
RE: father - Ludovicus - September 18, 2025
Angel's words should have been reassuring, in some sense they were.. but Ludovic just couldn't know what to think.
He wanted to be happy. He wanted to be happy in Moonglow, with Raindrop and Angel and Ponderosa, and everyone else who came along.. and he would be. Some days he certainly was.
Maybe it was just closure that he needed. To know what had happened to his mother, to know where his father had gone.. but that couldn't be guaranteed. Pushing out a breath, he finally looked to Angel.
..Thanks.She had been good to him today, when she certainly didn't have to be. He had grown to be just a bit less fearful of her.
I guess I should go home, Raindrop will wonder where I've gone soon.
RE: father - Angel Oak - September 20, 2025
She wasn't sure if anything she'd said had been helpful, but she had little else to offer him. A hug, perhaps — but perhaps they were not yet quite there.
"I'm gonna stick around here for a little bit," she replied, her tail whisking gently. "Be safe, okay? I'm just a howl away if you run into any trouble. I'll come beat 'em up for you."
She was not all that much larger than him, and would perhaps soon be smaller — but she was plenty sure she could kick someone's ass, if she put her mind to it.