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+--- Thread: Great Bear Wilderness Summer loving and fights, how it is for us (/showthread.php?tid=7105)
Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Peregrine Redhawk - January 25, 2015
This is future-dated a day or two. :o
So far, no one from the caldera had come looking for him, Fox included. He supposed that Somnia had relayed his message and that everyone was simply giving him his space. Although this was presumably exactly what he wanted, it nonetheless bothered him that no one had come out here to find and talk to him. It didn't occur to him that most wouldn't even notice such a short absence, much less send out search parties.
Presently, he lay beside a faraway stream, his chin on his paws. He daydreamed of his pups. Only by forcing himself to focus on them could he avoid delving into angry thoughts directed at Fox and Magpie. Despite all their jokes, he knew there would only be two to five pups in there. Maybe they would only have one. Then who would name it? Surely Fox would take that honor, he thought sullenly.
"Stop it," he muttered to himself when he realized his mind was veering off track. "Think of what they must look like right now," he coached himself. He pictured their tiny, squished faces. The thought only made him sad when he remembered that he was so far away from them right now.
RE: Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Saēna - January 25, 2015
DUN DUN DUN but seriously I've been waiting for an open thread.
Again Saena delved into the flatlands, this time to clear her foggy mind. Ever since being struck in the side of the head by the doe, her dreams of the simorgh had vanished and she'd had difficulty focusing. It was no doubt the effect of a lasting concussion, though it left her feeling bereft. The spectral bear was back, much larger than it had been before, but it was out of sight today. There'd been another ghostly visitor, but for some reason she couldn't remember it.
The pack had deemed her well enough to not be confined to a den, so Saena left to stretch her legs. She was gone longer than she planned, and bedded down in the Heartwood for the night, only to strike out even further the following day. The bear kept her company through the night, but was gone again at dawn, leaving the young female alone with her muddy thoughts.
Her mind was on Pura and his most recent withdrawal when she stumbled upon Peregrine, almost literally, and totally forgot what she'd been thinking about. The last place she'd expect her father to be was at the edge of a creek quite far from his ugly half-mountain; if she couldn't smell him as soon as she came within view, she would've thought he was someone else. But he was unmistakable, as much as she wanted him to not be there.
She skirted around him, giving him a wide berth and making clear with her body language there was no familiarity or warmth between them. Yet something kept her from departing, even though she yearned to leave him there and pretend she hadn't noticed him. It was, she realized, probably fated—after all, she was looking for advice on how to get respect and lead, and judging by his scent, her father had managed to accrue members for his pack even after his hasty and (in her opinion) heartless departure from the last one.
Suddenly and almost eerily, she remembered that ghostly visitor she'd forgotten, and quietly said, "mom says hi."
RE: Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Peregrine Redhawk - January 25, 2015
Lol, Saena shows up just in time to welcome Perry to the club?!
It would take some time for Peregrine to figure out whether Saena's serendipitous appearance right now was fortunate or unfortunate. Even as she scrambled backward as if having touched a hot stove, he sat bolt upright. When he recognized her, his surprise only grew. He stared, his heart and expression softening immediately despite the hardening of her own facial features and the way her body language immediately closed off to him.
Her message was so out of the blue that Peregrine didn't know what to make of it. He hadn't actively thought about Hawkeye in a long time, not even when subconsciously comparing Fox's recent actions with his ex-wife's. To say he hadn't thought of Saena much more, as well as her brother and sisters, would have been an absolute lie, however. Even with his excitement over his new litter, he still loved them from afar. They crossed his mind frequently and, it seemed, they had begun crossing his path a lot as well recently. He couldn't complain.
"Saena," he said, his tone hesitant but fond, "hi." He stood. Peregrine wanted to ask a dozen questions, yet he knew that talking would likely only repel her further than she'd already backpedaled. He remained still, gazing at her, and for the moment, his wife was the furthest thing from his mind.
RE: Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Saēna - January 25, 2015
"She said she misses everyone a lot," Saena continued loudly as Peregrine spoke her name, perhaps in an effort to drown out whatever connection he meant to draw, "and that she regrets not being around." She fell silent, allowing a somewhat tense silence to stretch between them. There wasn't much that she wanted to say to her father, but there was still that sense that she could get something out of this while holding him at arm's reach.
I want to take your place at the Plateau and I want to be everything you failed to be seemed too formal and too harsh all at once. She didn't want to come on too strongly, but she didn't want him to feel she was making an effort, either. Saena's feelings were so conflicted, her childishness battling with the maturity that was slowly taking over. There was no reason to stay here but to ask those questions, and she wasn't sure of a way to bring it up.
"I've decided to be a leader," she said slowly, her tone not quite icy but far from fond. "I want to earn it, but I don't know how to start."
RE: Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Peregrine Redhawk - January 25, 2015
This post was... complicated.
It threw him a bit that Saena was relaying a message from Hawkeye. He wasn't so much interested in the answer as he was in keeping Saena talking when he inquired, "So she's still living at the Sunspire? With Ty?" He'd truly thought Hawkeye had left these parts, especially after his recent conversation with Elwood. Apparently not.
Speaking of that message, he wanted to ask what argument had risen between the sisters but he intuited that it wasn't safe territory. Although he honestly didn't give a rat's ass about his former mate, he would talk about her endlessly if it meant touching base with Saena like this. There were also a thousand other things he wanted to say, like, It's been so long or You turned out beautiful or I fucked up and I'm sorry. For now, though, he would tread very cautiously. He didn't want to do something to chase her off.
Her next words were just as surprising. Eager not to lose this tenuous connection, Peregrine mentally scrambled to respond in a way that would keep her engaged and maybe even thaw her. "Really? I can help, if you're looking for advice." Peregrine cringed inwardly. Outwardly, his ears flattened. He halfway expected rebuke for this but hoping she would take him up on it. "I recently talked to Pura about his own leadership aspirations. He was pretty specific about wanting to be an Alpha. Are you hoping to lead alongside him...?" he genuinely wondered.
RE: Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Saēna - January 26, 2015
The Sunspire? The name didn't register to Saena. She'd never been to the Sunspire or met any wolf from there as far as she knew. But the way Peregrine said it clued her in to Hawkeye and how she left the pack for that place, and suddenly she understood. Peregrine had no idea who she was talking about.
"No, my mom," she clarified quietly. "I don't know—or care—where Hawkeye is and I have no idea where Tytonidae went." I hate you rang through her mind and she decided she didn't really care about Ty, either. For all her gentleness, she was branded in Saena's mind as a hateful sister.
When Peregrine brought up Pura, she felt both surprised and a little betrayed. Pura had gone looking for Peregrine even after Saena told him how they'd been abandoned...? Her inner jealous child reared its ugly head, but again was soothed by her growing maturity as well as a headache that was brewing behind her eyes. She didn't really want to be pissed off and forced it down.
"No," she said, a little perplexed. "I want to help lead at the Plateau. It's been better to me than... well," and she trailed off, unwilling to call him out for some reason, even though she'd dreamed of doing just that previously. "Pura can't be the Alpha there, Dante's still there, maybe he wants to found his own pack or something. But there is no Alpha female.
I want the pack to stay in the Blacktail family and I deserve it. I have three trades." In spite of her company and the fact she wanted to blame every problem she'd ever had on him, Saena managed to sound proud of this.
RE: Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Peregrine Redhawk - January 26, 2015
Her clarification did not initially clear the air for him, partly because he was halfway expecting her to turn tail and stomp away. After a few blinks, he finally comprehended what she meant. Pied? His lips parted and he stared at Saena for a beat. Had she inherited her mother's ability? Usually such a skeptic, Peregrine had come to accept his relative's talent as real. He fully believed Saena, especially because he doubted anyone had ever told her about her mother's gift.
Letting the subject of Hawkeye and Tytonidae go, at least for the moment, he asked, "You can see ghosts? Did anyone ever tell you that she—your mom, I mean—could do that too...?" Would Saena get angry about no one telling her, in that case? Peregrine had already put his foot in his mouth several times so far and she hadn't run away yet. He hoped his luck would keep holding.
He did not want to disagree with or upset her on any level, so Peregrine simply said, "I think he might want to take over for Dante when he retires," in regards to Pura. He wanted to ask about the Blacktail family, yet refrained for the moment, and internally kicked himself at the implication of ill treatment. He hoped to get a chance to apologize but for now, he said, "That's awesome, Saena. That's a great start if you're gunning for leadership. I know one of them, so what are the other two?"
RE: Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Saēna - January 26, 2015
"No," she replied, still quiet, as though she was worried about being overheard and spotted in Peregrine's company. If anyone thought to tell Saena about Pied's ability, it's likely she wouldn't believe it. Up until the bear began showing itself to her, Saena had no interest in paranormal. She could recall not believing in Ty's imaginary friends, and even considering her sister a freak for it.
She shrugged regarding Pura, wincing a little as she jolted her aching head. "Doubt Dante is going anywhere, but if that's what he wants. I didn't know he wanted that." She supposed they had talked about it once, but she never drew the conclusion that Pura thought they'd lead together. She was fine with it, of course; if there was one creature she could never blame for unhappiness, it was probably Pura.
"I'm a Gamekeeper and a Naturalist," she went on, and then added, "probably primary Gamekeeper, actually. There's another, but he must be very antisocial." As far as she was concerned, Koda was almost nonexistent in her home, so that left her and Dante and maybe Finn... and she liked to think she was on top, even if she really wasn't.
RE: Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Peregrine Redhawk - January 26, 2015
Saena was forthcoming with the information, even though she looked as if she was suffering a terrible migraine. Peregrine wanted to reach out, offer comfort of some sort... but he knew better. If he took one step toward her, she would certainly flee back to the plateau and never look back.
The news that she was a Gamekeeper made his chest feel funny. He swallowed a sudden lump in his throat. "Good on you," he said, trying but failing to hide the pride he felt. "You're more accomplished than most two-year-olds I know," he told her. Had she really only been born less than a year ago? "You probably have a giant one-up on most of the pack, then. Have you talked to Dante and the other leaders about joining them? Perhaps they could counsel you. I bet they would be pleased with your ambition and dedication, especially because... you go by Blacktail now, after the plateau?"
Of course, it bothered him that his little girl had shed his surname like an unwanted old coat, yet could he blame her? He was actually a little bit pleased by her choice of name, unaware that it was actually Junior's brainchild and her surname too. His chest began to feel funny again. Strangely, Peregrine almost felt like crying. He was so fucking proud of her, of all four of them, but did he even have any right to feel this way? He'd been there all their early lives, yet had let them go too soon.
"I'm sorry, Saena." The words just fell from his lips. Trying to recover somewhat, he cleared his throat and hastily added, "In particular, I'm sorry no one told you about your mother's gift. I'm sure Kisu knew about it. I was a skeptic when she first told me... but I came to believe. Her visions were too compelling to question. So... you've seen her? And she's spoken to you?"
RE: Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Saēna - February 01, 2015
"I haven't talked to them. I'm afraid they'll say no, since everyone thinks I'm just a dumb kid." she said, settling herself slowly into a sit, though she was still awkwardly tense about it. "I got kicked by a deer in a pack hunt. It was an accident but some prick called me an idiot and told me little girls shouldn't hunt, that I should leave it to the men. I don't think anyone even said anything to him about it, either. I can't see them wanting me to lead with them..." She'd left far too quickly to know what had been said to Koda. Part of her hoped he'd been brutally ripped into by the pack leaders, but she somehow doubted they felt any differently.
She still debated leaving without a word, but there was too much to gain here, and she was quickly becoming an advantageous wolf. "Blacktail is Junior's idea. We both do... did." Saena assumed Pura did as well, but didn't really know, and didn't want to bring him up. She also, for some reason, didn't want Peregrine to know Junior was well, even though she had no idea he was aware she'd disappeared.
He apologized, and she was about to snap at him not to—her headache was getting worse, too, which made her irate—but he clarified that it wasn't for leaving them behind. Well, you should apologize for that too, you prick, she silently thought, despite being ready to completely shut him down. "Only once," Saena lied. She didn't count her dreams anyway, and Pied never really showed up in those, just her voice.
In any case, since Saena didn't know what Pied looked like, it was all really a projection. She couldn't even be certain it was her mother who came to her, though the ghost seemed to have too much knowledge to be anyone else.
RE: Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Peregrine Redhawk - February 02, 2015
He wanted to discuss her mother's ghost further, though Peregrine momentarily set the subject aside when she finished, unable to move past her mention of the hunting incident. First and foremost, he was concerned for her health. The fact that she seemed to be suffering a headache even now worried him, even though she didn't even mentioned where the deer had kicked her. Call it a father's six sense. He wanted to ask, yet intuited that prodding and poking at her would be unwelcome. He was no medic anyway and, presumably, she was under the best care in the world (Blue Willow's).
More than that, though, he was angry on her behalf. Before he could debate whether coming to her defense would be seen as obnoxious, he growled thickly. "I am a master Gamekeeper and I take hits all the time. It is the nature of the beast—literally. Who said this to you?" he wanted to know. "I know you don't need me, of all people, to step in on your behalf. And I'm sure you can take care of yourself. But, Saena... if you want me to kick this misogynistic, ageist prick right in his asshole of a face, you let me know."
Taking a deep, calming breath, he added, "And you should mention this to Dante and Willow. I can't imagine they will tolerate anyone treating you this way. You're nearly a yearling. I bet you have more trades under your belt than this shitwit prick. Nobody should be speaking to you like that regardless," Peregrine opined in a harsh voice that softened when his eyes found her gaze for just a heartbeat. "You have the makings of a good leader, Saena, and if they don't recognize that... well, they're blind assholes." Yes, he was speaking with the tongue of a biased dad who, furthermore, hoped to placate his estranged daughter. Yet he would stand by every word he said if ever questioned.
RE: Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Saēna - February 02, 2015
Despite her feelings or how certain she was that she wanted him out of her life, part of her was warming to her father and was pleased by his reaction. Saena hardly believed it herself; if she hadn't heard it with her own two ears as she walked away, had she not spent over an hour crying into the arms of a tree only to go into hiding when someone came near, she wouldn't have believed any wolf could say such things.
There was no room in her mind to think that Koda might have his reasons. There was only disgust and disbelief.
A month ago Saena would've refused to tell Peregrine anything, but now she found it easy to speak up, possibly because he was so willing to engage and she wasn't wary of it. "I'm not sure what his name is, but he's been there a long time, I think since you led." She paused, swallowing the hurt that sentence pulled up, then said, "the other guy, not Lasher or Dante or Finn." She considered all of them friends, but not Koda.
"Dante and Blue Willow were there. I don't know if they did anything... I left when he said that." Now that she thought of it, the young female hadn't had any of the deer she helped bring down. There was some buried at the plateau, but she'd forgotten all about it. It was surely rotting now. "He still lives there though. I just hope he learns to shut it."
RE: Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Peregrine Redhawk - February 03, 2015
Saena didn't know his name, though she provided some information and Peregrine realized she might be hoping he would know. Desperate not to offend her in any way, he mentally scrambled, dismayed at his inability to come up with either a name or a face. His pulse was pounding for some reason. He closed his eyes briefly and took a breath, though he still came up with nothing and was forced to shake his head apologetically.
"It was probably a good idea to walk away," he said softly, kicking himself inwardly for being unable to conjure a name. "I'm sure they did. Those two have your back, Saena. I fully believe that. Willow would never let anyone get away with speaking to you like that." He didn't think Dante would, either, but he was dead certain about one of his oldest friends. "Me too," he added in an even voice. "If he doesn't, I'd be happy to rip his fool tongue right out of his head. Or you could do it yourself," he added. She was learning the art of killing, after all...
"KODA!" It just burst out of him in the two seconds of silence following the not-so-idle threat. "Is that who it was? He was a pretty recent recruit just before I left. I didn't know him well. He was polite the last time I saw him," Peregrine mused, recollecting his visit with Finley, "but if he spoke to my daughter that way, he's a fucking punk," he finished emphatically, just hoping Saena wouldn't reject that title.
RE: Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Saēna - February 04, 2015
Saena said nothing in response to Peregrine's certainty about Dante and Blue Willow. She was as certain once, but found it harder to believe ever since Junior's punishment and disappearance. Sometimes, she wondered privately if their friends were more important to them than doing the right thing. She often caught herself in the middle of these thoughts and pushed them aside.
Besides, neither the Alpha male nor the Beta female had ever spoken of Koda as though he was a friend. In fact, she reckoned he was as unknown to them as he was to her, a sexist enigma in their ranks that was little better than a parasite. But he contributed—not a parasite, then.
"If he ever opens his mouth to me again, I will," she vowed, glad that her father was backing her (and not even the least bit suspicious of his fervor). Saena's ears pressed thoughtfully back when Peregrine finally uttered a name. In response, she shrugged. "Not sure of his name. I've only seen him, never spoken to him. He doesn't seem to spend any time with anyone." Maybe if they'd known each other better Koda wouldn't have called her an idiot, but Saena sort of doubted it. He seemed rude and judgmental, not at all a good Plateau wolf.
RE: Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Peregrine Redhawk - February 04, 2015
Saena could neither confirm nor identity Koda's name. All the same, Peregrine was glad it had come to him. He felt certain he was right, even with the limited context. He made a mental note to grill Koda if he ever saw him again, though the odds of that were highly unlikely.
The conversation was beginning to taper off naturally but Peregrine was very reluctant to part ways with his estranged daughter. He would not walk away until Saena herself decided it was time to go. And he would do whatever it took to keep her here a bit longer, to keep her talking. He felt like he was making headway with her.
It was with well-meaning but slightly desperate intentions that he made the misguided decision to mention his argument with Fox. This they would have in common, he knew. "I'm actually so far from the caldera because Fox and I had a fight," he revealed. "I see now what others meant when they accused her of being selfish and thoughtless."
Not three seconds after these words left his lips, he felt like he had betrayed his mate. He would probably lose some of the points he'd gained with Saena (if he actually had) but he did mutter, "I mean, I still love her but she really made me feel like garbage. Sorry, I shouldn't be unloading this on you, Saena," he decided after all, heaving a quiet sigh.
Someone he didn't feel guilty trash-talking was Hawkeye, though, so Peregrine circled back to her. "I was a little surprised to hear the way you talked about Hawkeye. You don't care for her either?" He might not be able to bring himself to team up on Fox with his daughter—the payoff just wouldn't be worth it—but he was all too glad to share this particular punching bag with the young huntress.
RE: Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Saēna - February 08, 2015
When Peregrine started talking about Fox, it was enough to make Saena's whole body stiffen. She didn't want to hear anything about that bitch... or so she thought. It turned out that her father was admitting that the woman was a selfish, greedy whore (wasn't that exactly what he'd said?) who only cared about herself. Despite herself, the girl felt her chest inflating slightly, as though putting down Fox elevated her own personal standing somehow.
"You should've trusted everyone when they told you that," Saena said sagely, as if she had any right to. She hadn't given Fox a chance, not really. Granted, she wasn't solely responsible for that—the red-furred woman clearly wanted nothing to do with Peregrine's children, either. "You know, the only time we spent any time with her, she threatened to give us all fleas," Saena recalled. It was disgusting now that she knew what fleas really were.
"I hope you get why everyone didn't like her, now. You might love her, and don't take this wrong, but she was really ungrateful and rude to all of us, especially Aunt Willow." At the time, Saena had welcomed Fox as fervently as Junior had, but that was long gone. She could never forgive the woman for breaking apart her family after they'd done so much to help her, not that Saena truly understood the breadth of it, or why they'd left at all.
Noncommittally, she said, "mom never visited after she left. She didn't care about us, so we shouldn't care about her." Realizing that Peregrine was basically in the same boat, and suddenly feeling too aggressive to continue this encounter, the young female got to her feet. "I should go," she said, a little too quickly. "Thanks for the advice." She began to trot quickly away, hoping he wouldn't say anything personal, but found herself faltering before she was out of earshot.
"We've missed you, you know. You could've come to see us when you stopped by." Despite the slightly acidic bite at the end, this was said as sincerely as Saena could manage it. Offering only a brief glance over her shoulder, the female closed her eyes and began padding back toward home with her head thumping angrily with each step. The further she went, the harder it got not to cry about meeting Peregrine, even if she had no real reason for it.
RE: Summer loving and fights, how it is for us - Peregrine Redhawk - February 09, 2015
He intuited that Saena wouldn't let the subject of Fox drop so quickly and she proved him right. He listened, nodding his head to acknowledge her words but thinking better of saying much more on the subject. He did want her to know one thing, though...
"I believe you, Saena, and I'm sorry that I didn't pay enough attention to your takes on the matter. Truly." It might not have changed anything then and it wouldn't now, though he really regretted not making his kids feel like he was listening and that their feelings and opinions mattered. Especially right now, he knew all too well how that felt: like shit.
When she pointed out that Hawkeye didn't care about them, he sighed. "I'm sorry we weren't better parents," he said. He hated to bundle himself with Hawkeye, whose sins he felt were greater, yet today was about humility and seizing this unique opportunity to apologize. His pride had taken a hike several minutes ago.
It finally happened: Saena had hit some breaking point and was leaving. Peregrine was just grateful she'd stuck around as long as she had and hadn't spit in his eye. He nodded in response to her thanks, the cool words somehow warming his heart. He swallowed, his eyes watching her as she began to trot away.
She turned to say a few final words; they were sweet and sour. Peregrine bowed his head. "I'm sorry, Saena." He would have promised to come visit her, yet he didn't imagine that invitation was necessarily open to him and he didn't want to presume. Besides, he was still barred from coming to the plateau. "I hope we run into one another again. You're more than welcome to come by the caldera anytime..." he called after her, not sure if she heard as she disappeared.
Once she was gone, he sat heavily to rehash the words they'd exchanged. Despite the brevity of the encounter and the bitterness still lingering in Saena's heart, his lips twitched upward. He hated that he was fighting with Fox, yet it seemed everything happened for a reason. This had been an incredible turn of events and he was happy to have stolen these moments with his youngest daughter, despite their cost.