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+--- Thread: Redhawk Caldera if i die young (/showthread.php?tid=8074)
if i die young - Jaws - March 02, 2015
Any of my fellow Redhawks :)
The hours of night drifted into dawn as Jaws slept peacefully, curled beneath the great log he had chosen for a den, unaware of the tragedy that had befallen the Alpha pair - and the entire pack. His wakening would not be so serene as his sleep; feeling a sharp pinch on his backside, Jaws awoke from his slumber with a raucous yell, charging out of his den and spinning to face his assailant. His fur bristled and his nose and lips crumpled into a snarl but it faded as his attacker emerged from the den.
With an apologetic chirp and a tipping of his small head, the gray jay appeared, clutching a tuft of black fur in its beak. Jaws' fur flattened, his anger subsiding into calm. It had been a while since he had seen more than a glimpse of the bird, and now he knew why: it had been busy collecting the makings of a nest. Hopping into the hole in the log, the bird deposited the fur and then reappeared.
"Don't do that," Jaws murmured, feeling a sort of relief that the bird had come back. True, he did not fancy its company at first, but he found he missed his feathered shadow in its absence. With a thirst grabbing at his throat, Jaws headed for the lake at the center of the pack's territory, the grayjay following closely beside him.
He stopped when he happened upon the burial clearing. His skin crawled and his blood ran cold as the lingering scents and disturbed ground started whispering an unsettling story.
RE: if i die young - Peregrine Redhawk - March 02, 2015
He headed to the grave site out of a sense of paternal duty and guilt, and not because he actually missed his son. It was a strange and horrible realization, yet also a blessing in its way. He hadn't even been used to "Derp's" presence in his life and, in the grand scheme of things, it would only be a blip. It was a tragedy and a shame, yet he wasn't torn apart by the boy's absence and that was a relief. Had this happened even a few weeks later, when "Derp" had opened his eyes and ears, begun to talk and begun growing a personality, all of this could have been so much more devastating.
As he made the trek to the clearing, another thought occurred to him: They won't even remember him. Nightjar, Wildfire and Raven wouldn't even realize their older brother was missing. Not until they were older and he and Fox could tell them about "Derp" would they even know he'd ever been there. Even then, they would never truly know him (just as he and Fox hadn't), nor could they miss him. It was a sad thought, yet it was probably a good thing for the children. They would not know the pain of "Derp's" loss.
When he arrived, Peregrine quickly realized he was not alone. He saw Jaws lingering near the grave. Despite his ambivalent emotions, Peregrine bristled and moved stiffly toward the freshly churned soil. He stood over "Derp's" final resting place, giving Jaws a shrewd look. He then calmed, realizing that surely the dark hybrid meant no harm. He was probably curious. Peregrine felt his guts clench when he realized he would have to explain.
"We lost our eldest," he said softly. "He didn't have a name, though we called him 'Derp.'" His lips twitched into a sad smile. "It happened the other day. We're not sure what happened. Fox woke up from a nap and he was... already gone." Peregrine did not speculate aloud about the causes. Perhaps his mate had rolled on "Derp" in her sleep, smothering him. Or maybe there had been something wrong with the boy and he'd just passed away in his sleep. There was really no use conjecturing at this point.
RE: if i die young - Jaws - March 02, 2015
Jaws had come to a complete standstill staring at the grave site, his paws as if frozen to the ground did not take another step. The gray jay, sensing the seriousness of what they had just found, landed on a nearby branch but in silence, with not a peep nor a chirp.
The coywolf's depressed trance was only broken when Peregrine came into the clearing, and he instinctively took a step back and bowed his ahead in reaction to his Alpha's stiff presence. He was briefly concerned that he had inadvertently tread on grounds he should have avoided, but when Peregrine spoke he knew instantaneously that the look he was given had come from a protective, grieving father, not a scolding leader.
Jaws listened solemnly, his gaze holding on to the little grave. "I'm sorry," he said softly when Peregrine had finished, casting the other male an somber, apologetic look. From his bold disposition it would be hard to guess Jaws as being particularly sensitive about death and suffering, but he was deeply so. "I can only imagine your hurt."
RE: if i die young - Peregrine Redhawk - March 02, 2015
Jaws received the news like any seasoned pack mate, though he had only been there since just before the pups' birth. This reaction warmed him. Peregrine acknowledged his condolences with a bob of his head, then swallowed thoughtfully when Jaws touched on the subject of the father's own feelings of loss.
"I don't know how to describe it but it's less like sadness than it is yearning. He was so young and there wasn't much to him, not yet," he said softly, in a tone of utmost fondness. "What hurts is knowing he'll never grow up with his brother and sisters, that he'll never see or hear or experience the world." He paused, lips pursing before he let out a breath. "I don't think he suffered. He knew only food, warmth, love..."
He trailed off, finding himself staring at the grave. What he'd just said was accurate: he missed the potential as much as he did his actual son. Peregrine was pretty sure that, within a few weeks, this loss would be nearly forgotten as he got caught up in raising three rambunctious cubs. Of course, he would never forget "Derp" completely but his very short life would be no more than a brief and well-loved blip on his family's radar.
"We've named two of the others," he said, deciding to focus on the good rather than the bad. "Our remaining son is Nightjar. The older girl is Wildfire. You've probably heard her screaming." He smirked faintly. "We're still thinking of names for the youngest." He refrained from calling her "Derpina," as it almost felt like relegating her to the same dopey, eternally anonymous fate as her brother.
RE: if i die young - Jaws - March 02, 2015
"I don't think it'd be so bad to die knowing only that," Jaws offered, it was both his logic way of thinking and his attempt at engaging appropriately in this conversation without shifting to humor to deal with his own discomfort. Now was not the time to deflect with jest - not that most times when he used that tactic were, but this situation in particular was too grave.
Jaws was grateful when Peregrine began talking about his remaining pups, their names specifically, and he listened with a slight smile that turned into more of a small grin as he spoke of Wildfire's screaming. "A fire in her belly, eh?" he remarked, not quite with his usual humorous tone but more lighthearted nonetheless. He was only guessing she was named for her spirit, forgetting that Fox's pelt was quite fiery and she may have passed it to her daughter. "You could call her Bird," he went on to suggest, referencing the time when him and his Alpha had discussed the name of his grayjay and Jaws helplessly called him the very same.
RE: if i die young - Peregrine Redhawk - March 02, 2015
"Dunno," he replied with an affectionate but decidedly weary look on his face. "She screams for what seems no reason at all. It drives you to the edge of madness," he quipped. Honestly, Wildfire's colicky nature was difficult, probably for Fox in particular, seeing as this was her first brood. Peregrine suspected she would quiet down eventually, or maybe they would all get used to it first. "What can I say, though? It's great that she's so lively." Especially after what had happened to "Derp," her obnoxiousness was almost a relief.
Peregrine cracked a smile at Jaws's suggestion. "Blackbird would actually be a really pretty name," he said, "and it would work with not only her mother's preferred naming convention but my own family's tradition of naming at least some of their offspring after birds. My mother, Mo, had an incredible knowledge of birds. It was nearly encyclopedic," he shared.
"Speaking of birds," the Alpha said in the next moment, glad to be moving further away from sad subjects, "where's your little sidekick, Dick?" As he spoke, he motioned for the subordinate to follow him and began leading the way toward the edge of the clearing. He had paid his visit to "Derp's" grave and soon he would either head out for a quick hunt or return to the den, whichever seemed most necessary.
RE: if i die young - Jaws - March 03, 2015
Jaws reflected Peregrine's smile, relieved that the topic of death had now more or less been replaced by a more lively discussion. The coywolf felt his uneasiness ebb away, replaced with a familiar comfort in Peregrine's company; he had been able to relate to the dark Alpha in a way that he had not been duplicated with anyone else, not before or since.
"I like that - calling them after birds," Jaws commented, genuinely intrigued by the time-honored naming conventions. For someone who held a lot of respect for other creatures - he did, after all, owe his survival to their varied intelligence and strategies - the practice of honoring them (as he saw it) by name not only made sense but was rather charming too.
Jaws obliged when Peregrine invited him to follow, gesturing with his muzzle to the trees where the grayjay followed along. "Just over there," he said. "I haven't been seeing much of him until this morning when he helped himself to some fur off my backside," Jaws shook his head before craning his neck to glance at his rump, but was pleased that his impromptu inspection found no glaring evidence of the bird's theft. "At least he didn't leave me bald."
RE: if i die young - Peregrine Redhawk - March 03, 2015
Peregrine glanced behind them to see that the jay was flitting along in their wake. "'Lo there, Dick!" he called, chuffing quietly before facing forward again. Her quirked a brow, wondering why the bird had felt the need to pluck his canine companion. Perhaps it was nesting season and little Dick had a little family to look after. The thought of a brood of predatory chickens made the swarthy wolf tilt his head curiously.
"Maybe you were shedding and he was just trying to help," he joked when something unexpectedly fell on the bridge of his muzzle. The Alpha's eyes crossed, then he tipped his snout skyward. He had been so caught up in his head that he hadn't noticed that the weather matched his dreary spirits. It was starting to rain, which made up his mind. He would not be hunting during a rainstorm and nothing was more tempting during bad weather than a den full of warm puppies.
But he didn't want to strand Jaws, just like that. "Under here," he said, trotting toward a small thicket. He crammed himself in among the shrubs and brambles, then made space for the other wolf. "Man, it's coming down," he observed even as the moderate sprinkle turned into a downright deluge. "I hope Dick doesn't get washed away."
RE: if i die young - Jaws - March 03, 2015
The grayjay looked at Peregrine, and although it did not display the same terror it had before when the pair had first met the dark Alpha, it still regarded him with suspicion. It chirped, but who really knew what it was saying. It often chirped and peeped and tweeted, a bit similar to Peregrine's colicky daughter in that way but thankfully the bird was not hard on the ears.
Jaws chuckled at Peregrine's joke. "I think he likes it here," the coywolf commented, about to answer the question his Alpha had thought about but never asked. "He's building a nest in the log..." he trailed off as a drop of rain hit his muzzle as well. He looked upward as Peregrine did, more rain drops landing on his face. It was a sure sign that winter was losing the seasonal battle and spring was gaining dominance. Jaws welcomed the change.
He did not however welcome a soaked pelt when the temperatures were still a bit chill, and without question followed his Alpha to the thicket. Once Peregrine had settled, Jaws crawled in beside him. There was not enough space between them for a leaf in these tight quarters. Peregrine mentioned Dick and Jaws whistled for the bird, not expecting it to come but making the offer, but it had retreated out of sight to find its own shelter. "I guess he doesn't want to join us," he commented.
RE: if i die young - Peregrine Redhawk - March 04, 2015
"He probably think it's an elaborate trap we set," Peregrine quipped, staring a bit blankly at the sheeting rain. "He's not stupid, that Dick." He laughed lightly, then fell quiet. His lips settled into a subtle droop. Despite his jokes, he was still feeling rather bleak and the sudden downpour did little to warm or brighten his mood.
After a long time of staring somberly at the weather, Peregrine tipped his muzzle toward Jaws. "So I wonder what my older kids would think of my younger ones if they met them. Did you know I had older kids?" he wondered, unsure whether they'd broached this subject yet. "There's Tytonidae and Junior. I know the latter would hate them on principle. She was never okay with me having more. I think Ty and then Saena and Pura wouldn't mind them as much. I like to think that if they met them, they'd be won over regardless. They're pretty cute... even that little butthole, Wildfire."
RE: if i die young - Jaws - March 04, 2015
"No doubt," Jaws chuckled, but the smile that accompanied his laugh faded with the onset of the Alpha's gloom. The coywolf did not have his moods affected by weather the way many did, viewing them for what they were logically and not symbolically, but he was affected by his companion's struggle.
"Did you know I had other kids?" Peregrine asked, and Jaws shook his head no. The two had not had much time to talk, with Jaws joining the pack just prior to the birth of the Alpha's pups. Fortunately, Peregrine was a much better conversationalist than Jaws, who was all to content to just listen and add a few comments here and there, which was considerably easier for him than trying to initiate the discourse or steer it in new directions. "Why would someone not want you to have more pups?" he queried when Peregrine had finished, his curiosity authentic. "I don't understand that. I especially don't understand how someone could hate a pup because of the circumstance of their birth." There was a lot of personal truth to the last statement, and the coywolf's expression hardened ever so slightly.
RE: if i die young - Peregrine Redhawk - March 04, 2015
"She was still quite young when the subject came up," Peregrine explained, "and she was jealous." He shrugged. A young Junior had been threatened by the idea of smaller, cuter (in her words) siblings. She wasn't unique in that way. Peregrine recalled one of his older sisters being horribly jealous of himself and his three litter mates. "It hurt her, the idea of being replaced. Which is a silly notion, of course, but not entirely untrue at the same time. She was just a little girl from a broken home."
He stared out at the rain the entire time he spoke, though he once more turned to face Jaws, their eyes meeting. "You don't know Junior," he said with a twitch of his lips. "She's a bit high-strung. She also hates Fox, which is a huge part of it. My other daughter, Saena, does as well. Ty and Pura don't seem to mind much. Tytonidae's always been a giant sweetheart and free spirit. And Pura just doesn't seem to care about much at all, really..."
Redirecting his gaze once more, Peregrine blinked in the direction of the den, though it was hard to see through the curtains of gray rain. "Saena and Pura live at the plateau and Ty's with a friend at the Sunspire. I'm not sure about Junior. She disappeared. She was an Outrider, though, so I like to think she got fed up with the Teekon Wilds and went out to travel the world. It's unlikely she'll ever meet them, though maybe the other three will drop by someday."
RE: if i die young - Jaws - March 04, 2015
Jaws did not fully comprehend the emotion behind Junior's objection but nodded nonetheless as Peregrine explained. As his Alpha said himself it was a silly notion. Even if she hated the mother it seemed cold to shun the pups; they could not control who their parents were and furthermore she shared their blood through Peregrine. But the world was full of sentiments and emotion that did not register with the rational coywolf. He had endured a fair share of suffering as a result of illogical feelings such as these which lead him to question them all the more.
"You don't seem to get a lot of visitors here," Jaws commented when Peregrine had finished mentioning his other kin might drop in, he then went on to offer his Alpha another snippet of information about himself. "If I have any offspring I don't know about them. Too much tail and too much wandering," he joked with a wink at Peregrine.
RE: if i die young - Peregrine Redhawk - March 04, 2015
"At the caldera, you mean?" Peregrine questioned, then pondered this. "I guess you're right. We're pretty far removed from most of the nearby packs and then I'd like to think my reputation precedes me." He smirked lightly at this. "I'm not exactly welcoming to outsiders. I rarely venture out of the territory myself. Some of the ones who would be the most likely to visit are also sort of estranged. Relations between the caldera and the plateau have been uneasy ever since I—since we, Fox and I—left on somewhat abrupt terms."
Now, more than ever, that sacrifice was clearly worth it. Even from a rain-splashed distance, he felt close to his mate and puppies. Everything they had done, they had done for them. Now that they were here, it was especially easy to look back on all the decisions they'd made for these very offspring and think to himself, Worth it!
"So you've fucked a lot of chicks, huh?" he said casually and conversationally, quirking a curious brow at Jaws. He thought briefly of Atticus and Bones. "Just know that if you make any bastards here, I'll have your hide and Fox will devour your babies," he said with a chuckle. It was mostly a joke, though the warning was genuine. He liked Jaws and didn't want any reason to have to chase the male out of the pack. He could screw around as much as he liked as long as he didn't knock up anybody... ;)
RE: if i die young - Jaws - March 04, 2015
Jaws had no problem with the quietness of the pack and acting as warden as Peregrine had asked of him was only made easier when few decided to enroach on Redhawk's boundaries. His Alpha's reputation was a benefit in that respect and Jaws could wholly appreciate the sensibility in not allowing everyone and their cat to come knocking at will. From a survival standpoint, secure borders were the best for everyone contained within them, which now included the approving coywolf.
"Well, anyone with a tail," Jaws laughed with another wink in Peregrine's direction. But although it did not show on Jaws' amused face, Peregrine had planted a tiny seed of doubt within the black male's head. His Alpha had just confirmed what Dove had been ranting to him about the other day, and although she was not pregnant yet, it was highly possible given that their affair occurred when she was in heat. Jaws was just beginning to settle down here, and indeed had developed a fondness for his Alpha. But Jaws would not allow worry to consume him, not even if he received confirmation that Dove was carrying his offspring. He would deal with it as required.
"Yeah I bet you'd just love to have my hide," Jaws replied with a smug look, making an exaggerated display of brushing off his pelt as he scuffed one paw across the other leg. In his comfort, his usual vain, flirtatious humor had returned.
RE: if i die young - Peregrine Redhawk - March 04, 2015
Fortunately, Jaws didn't take the joke the wrong way and even teased Peregrine in turn. The Alpha male's attention had been rather flimsy throughout the entire conversation, his head and heart many other places than here in this crammed thicket, but suddenly his focus sharpened as the hybrid's offhanded comment piqued his curiosity.
"You ever screwed around with any dudes?" he wondered, touching on a topic they'd briefly visited before. Peregrine felt more comfortable delving into it this time around, though he wondered if it would make his snaggle-toothed subordinate uncomfortable, especially considering the close quarters.
RE: if i die young - Jaws - March 05, 2015
"Oh yeah, a handful." Jaws answered without hesitation and a nod. Unlike much of the general populace the coywolf was not shy nor ashamed about his sexual conquests, whether they were with others of the same gender as he or not. How busy he had been in his travels also did not fall under the category of 'personal information' that Jaws was guarded about sharing. It was pleasurable entertainment and little more, he thought of it the same way he thought of the number of sticks he chewed.
"Not as many as females though," The coywolf reflected. "Willing males are a bit harder to find." Jaws turned his gaze to meet Peregrine's, a roguish toothy grin forming. "What about you, eh? Before you settled down. You must have had yourself a lot of tail, too. You are, after all, just as good looking as me."
RE: if i die young - Peregrine Redhawk - March 05, 2015
Jaws's casual tone took Peregrine by surprise, though he smiled and gave his companion a look that seemed to ask, Really? He seemed entirely serious. He joked about the Alpha's own status and, despite the gloomy weather and circumstances, the bereaved father found himself chuckling under his breath.
"I wouldn't say I've had a lot but... what makes you think anything changed just because I 'settled down'? Fox and I have been in a poly arrangement before," he shared. "I was with Lasher when she and I formally got together. I would have liked for them to hook up too but it wasn't meant to be. Lasher and I split when Fox and I came here. The two of us have been pretty focused on starting a family but I wouldn't say my swinging days are over."
This meant he and Jaws could totally start a fling when the time was right. But just because they were both bisexual didn't mean anything would happen. Peregrine looked at the other male out of the corner of his eye. He liked Jaws and he didn't think he was unattractive, though all the swarthy Redleaf-DiSarinno could think was that he didn't want those tusks anywhere near him, particularly his dangly bits.
RE: if i die young - Jaws - March 05, 2015
All the better to bite you with, my dear? LOL. This seemed like a good spot to end this thread so I hope you don't mind I took the reigns on the weather ;)
Jaws had been quick to assume that since Peregrine had taken a mate he would, like so many others, have been monogamous with her. But his grin widened to be corrected on that assumption. To say the least, Jaws' fondness for the Alpha and his comfort around him grew then and there - it was another topic on which the two could relate.
"My mistake," he chuckled. "I haven't met many that were into that." It was then that Jaws' attention was briefly drawn from his dark companion to the rain - which had slowed from its deluge into a much more manageable trickle, the clouds having expended their bounty though the skies were still gray as they lingered overhead.
"Looks like a good time to make our escape," Jaws said as he crawled out from beneath the tangled protection of the brush. He knew the father was eager to return to his pups and he was still thirsty, although he did not need to travel to the lake now to get a drink; plenty of water lay about the natural indentations of the ground. "I think I'll go see if my bird survived," he commented as he began to walk away. "But if you ever want to play..." the coywolf glanced back, and without warning, he dropped into a play bow, his hips swaying. "I'm always game."
He stood up, grinned as he dipped his head, and then was gone.
RE: if i die young - Peregrine Redhawk - March 05, 2015
Fun thread! :)
Although there was no sense of discomfiture between them—in fact, Peregrine was enjoying their growing sense of camaraderie—Jaws spotted the opportunity to take off as soon as the rainfall slackened. Peregrine nodded, understanding that he had other things (or wolves) to do. He smiled faintly at the thought, then rose to his feet to follow Jaws from the thicket.
"See you around," he called after the subordinate's back. He then turned and loped toward the den, pondering Jaws's parting words and flirtatious display. Peregrine wasn't sure he was interested yet, though it was nice to know there were options once he and Fox raised up their tykes a bit more.