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+--- Thread: Kintla Flatlands Unconditional (/showthread.php?tid=8722)
Unconditional - Peregrine Redhawk - April 02, 2015
Whether or not Luke volunteered the information, Peregrine wasn't an idiot. He hastily excused himself, heading directly toward the plateau. With every step, he experienced a different emotion. But by the time he arrived at the river bend just across from his old home, there was only one ruling above the rest: brotherly concern. He wasn't Fox; he didn't fret about bastards. And he kept thinking about Luke's words: @Osprey was having a rough time. Peregrine didn't care about the circumstances leading to her pregnant state (though he was curious, of course), he just wanted to make sure his sister was okay. After all, an unintended pregnancy could have many ramifications in wolfish society—some of them deadly.
Although he would have liked to get closer, Peregrine begrudgingly recalled Dante's decree and remained on the grassy plains. If Osprey was in trouble with the Alpha, which seemed pretty likely, he wasn't about to tempt fate. He lifted his swarthy muzzle into the sky, lips parting. Peregrine hesitated. He wanted to demand Osprey's audience, yet instead what came from his throat was a fraternal croon begging her to please come see him. He wanted her to know he was here to help, not to judge. If the wolf had been anyone else, he might have felt differently... but Osprey was his sister and his love for her was unconditional.
RE: Unconditional - Osprey - April 02, 2015
ooc: per arrangement in this thread , I assume that Dante is staying with her during the nights. Also Osprey is not looking well - her fur is unkempt and matted, ribs and hips are visible beneath her fur, legs are thin and joints slightly swollen and painful, eyes are sunken and her face looks weary. She is nearing the 8th week of pregnancy and looks accordingly.
It had become a little easier for Osprey to survive the daytime, because she knew that she was not going to be alone during the night. The fact that there was someone looking out for her, made her feel a little safer and kept nightmares at bay. Now and then they would invade her dreams and she would wake, but a look at her companion sleeping peacefully nearby would calm her restless heart. There were still hours, when she lied quietly awake, looking at the stars and praying that she would get through this and be well again, because recently with the weight of the children growing, she felt weaker than before. Even though she ate well and was taken care of, they were taking more from her that she could provide.
Osprey had finished her meal and was drinking water from a nearby stream, when she heard a familiar voice calling her in the distance. Oh, no... she thought, recognizing Peregrine and thinking of the very bad timing he had chosen to visit her. Just few days ago she had expressed her wish that her brother knew nothing of this, unless it got really bad. But then again - wasn't it his right to know, what was going on before that? She could not decide between going to greet him and pretending that she had not heard him. It occurred to her that in case she didn't meet him face to face herself, then someone would go instead. The result - no matter the equation would be the same.
She sighed and began to make her way to the borderline, which was not that far. It took her a while, until she reached the clearing, where her brother's dark form could be seen. There was still plenty of distance between them, but they could see each other. Osprey stopped and sat down, waiting for him to come and preparing herself to endure the next storm.
RE: Unconditional - Peregrine Redhawk - April 02, 2015
He received no answer, yet Peregrine refused to leave until he saw her. Perhaps someone would come in Osprey's stead, in which case he would implore said wolf to take him to his sister directly. This wasn't the sort of thing that could be dealt with via messengers. In the meantime, he sank to his haunches, then stretched out on the grass. He would wait.
Perhaps an hour hence, he saw a shape in the distance and pushed himself back onto all fours. Peregrine took several steps forward, squinting at the figure, then broke suddenly into a trot. When he confirmed recognition of his sibling, he galloped to meet her. Normally, he might have crashed into her, greeting her with enthusiasm, but as he drew closer, Peregrine could see that she was in bad shape. It was concern that slowed him, not abhorrence at the pups that swelled her middle.
"Oss," he whispered, his jade eyes lingering on her round abdomen before flicking up to meet hers. He didn't say anything else, just moved forward to nudge her bony cheek, beneath her sunken eyes. She looked terrible and his heart ached. Gently, he pressed himself closer to her, still maintaining his silence as he physically offered his support. All that escaped him was a thin whine.
"Please," he begged after several moments of silence, his voice low and ragged, "tell me you're going to be okay. What happened? Who did this to you?" As those words slipped out, somewhat unbidden, he revisited the thoughts that had plagued him on his way here. Who was the father? What were the circumstances of conception? What would become of these puppies... his nephews and nieces?
RE: Unconditional - Osprey - April 02, 2015
When Peregrine had come near enough to see Osprey properly, she thought she saw concern and pity in his eyes. A shadow of a smile crossed Osprey's expression - as an apology for him having to see her like this and a sign of a defeat and acceptance of the situation. He sat by her side and they were silent for a long time. She had no way of knowing, what was going on in her brother's mind, something had to be said, yet she saw no way of explaining, how, what and why it had happened. It felt like she had done this so many times before that the words had become worn out and bleak. There was no strength left for that either.
He was the first to break the silence, by asking the exact questions she had wished he would not have, because she hadn't got satisfying answers for any of them. It was endearing that he - being her big brother, keen to protect her sister from all harm - thought that someone had done wrong to her. That someone else was there to blame, not her. And it seemed a little foolish for him to ask, if she was going to be alright, if she herself had no answer to that. It had got worse, yet it didn't feel like she was dying yet. "You have chosen a very bad timing for a visit," she looked up at him, mustering up a grin and then letting it fade, as if it was too much of an effort to keep it there. "As to your first question... lets put it like this... I have been better," she sighed and averted her gaze.
RE: Unconditional - Peregrine Redhawk - April 03, 2015
He didn't understand Osprey's comment and wanted to press her to explain, yet Peregrine could see that she was in a delicate state. He held his tongue for a moment, then asked gently, "What do you mean, Osprey? I'm your big brother. I want to be here for you." He moved so that he was sitting next to her, his right side pressed against her left. He kissed her temple, then put his head over hers. "A friend of mine accidentally let slip about this situation. I can only assume you didn't send anyone for me because you didn't want me to know." He had deduced as much on his trek here. Peregrine's voice held no reprimand; it was a question framed more as an observation.
Pulling back slightly so he could look at her weary face, he asked, "Is Blue Willow looking after you? Tell me, please. Tell me how this happened. I'm not going to get angry," he promised, understanding that Osprey might fear that very thing. "I just want you to be okay. You look fucking horrible, no offense." The black wolf smiled weakly, pressing her into another hug, his eyes closing against the painful sight of his dispirited litter mate.
RE: Unconditional - Osprey - April 03, 2015
"Had it made any difference if you knew earlier?" Osprey asked him, because she didn't see, how these news would benefit her brother in any way. There was neither something he could possibly do about the situation, nor change it. He would simply be worried about her - as he was now - and feel helpless. How would that aid him in being a good husband to his mate, father to his children and the proud leader of his pack? As much as he wanted to be there for her, she saw no point in it. Not that she did not appreciated him caring for her, but... the fact was that they lived in two different packs. And even though bound by blood, they belonged to different families now. As far as it went she was not his concern.
"Then I will have to be careful to, whom I speak, next time," she said, wondering, who would that friend have been. She doubted it was Burke, because the brute didn't even know her real name. Who else had she met? Osprey didn't think so badly of the three leaders to assume that they had gone against her wishes let the piece of information slip to Peregrine. No one else came to her mind, therefore she left it at that and didn't push further. To his disappointment she had not sought Blue Willow's help for very silly reasons. She felt bad for not turning to her earlier and now she was a coward, who didn't want to go, because she didn't want to be reprimanded for letting things go down this far. Her friend was famous for having enormous amounts of patience and ability to forgive, but she did not want to test it now.
"Well, I doubt I have to explain you the details," her attempt to joke was weak and probably not very succesful. "The usual way," she looked sideways, because suddenly a nearby lying rock was easier to face than Peregrine. "But I was not assaulted or hurt, if that is, what you want to know."
RE: Unconditional - Peregrine Redhawk - April 03, 2015
Of course it would have made a difference. He would have been there sooner to offer his support. Peregrine didn't say this, just looked at her. If he could have read her thoughts, he might have been bewildered and hurt by them. When it came to his sister, logic wasn't his strong suit. He could not read minds, however, and he wasn't about to press the matter with her. She looked absolutely terrible and he didn't want to make her feel even worse.
He didn't initially say anything to her next remark either, simply because he didn't know what to say. It was becoming quite apparent to him that Osprey really hadn't wanted him to know about any of this. Eventually, he did find his voice to say, "It was an accident. Osprey, you wouldn't have had to tell him..." Peregrine's voice trailed away. Her condition was rather obvious.
He sucked in a breath when she confirmed she hadn't been assaulted in any way, nodding curtly. "I was afraid..." he admitted, once again letting his voice trail off into silence. This meant that Osprey had been a willing participant in the conception, which still threw him for a loop. It was very irresponsible, though it was pretty clear she realized that. Had her hormones gotten the best of her?
"What will happen to you? And them? How has Dante et al reacted...? Who's the father?" Peregrine asked, keeping his tone low. "You don't have to answer me if you don't want," he added reluctantly. Peregrine looked at his sister for a long moment and finished, "I feel like you don't want me here." It wasn't a question. He shut his mouth, letting her get a word in edgewise.
RE: Unconditional - Osprey - April 03, 2015
"It took me a while to figure out, where I stood in this," Osprey admitted and felt sorry for Peregrine and the way her one irresponsible act had affected so many people. Had she realized before, how bad it would be not only for her, but to her family and friends, she would not have dived head-first in the adventure, throwing all reason out of the window. But, what was done was done, she could apologize and tell all she wanted that she had not meant this to happen, it would make no difference. "It was too late to fix this either and I was at loss of what to do. Caused a lot of mess and I am probably still at odds with most of the pack," she didn't know for sure, she had not sought anyone else beside the leaders to ask.
"They have been very... noble about this and have treated me better than I... have treated them," even though she had accepted the fact that there was no escaping from her pregnancy and that she would have to carry children to term, that she was very grateful for not being thrown out and their respect for her need to be on her own. A lot of things to thank them for, but so far she had mended things with Dante only. "Quite honestly... they are draining me," she sighed and cast a glance at her swollen sides. "I can't give them enough. They take everything and more than that," part of her wondered, whether it was some sort of punishment for her not wanting them in the first place. She had changed her mind over the time though and - she couldn't say that she loved them exactly - but was genuinely curious.
"Frankly speaking... I don't think I will be able to walk to the end," this was something she had kept to herself and told no one before. Her state was becoming worse and this thought, idea of death occurred to her more often than it should have. "Peregrine - I don't push you away, because I don't love you or don't want you to be here. Believe me, I have missed you, us - the way we were - ever since we left the Flightless falcons," where he had found mates and lovers to share his den and life with, Osprey had been on her own. A fool that had kept up an image of a happy and joyous, self-suficient person, hiding her loneliness behind stories and adventures. "But you have to realize that this is for your own good. You have so much to live for - what good it is to you that you will spend your waking hours worrying and thinking about me? You can't help me in any way - you are forced to watch and is that fair to you? Fair to your mate, children, packmates that, while they need you, you are somewhere far away with your thoughts?"
RE: Unconditional - Peregrine Redhawk - April 03, 2015
As Osprey explained the pack's reaction to the news, Peregrine couldn't help but be grateful Osprey was part of the plateau and not the caldera. Had it been up to solely him, he would have forgiven her trespass and supported her and her pups. But Fox wouldn't have allowed it. He could not imagine what kind of havoc that might have wrought on his home and family. He felt relieved, then guilty. Stubbornly, he thought he might have overruled Fox, for hadn't she done the same with her own sisters?
None of it mattered, though, and he was grateful even if that was terrible of him. "I'm glad to hear that," Peregrine replied softly. He couldn't speak for Dante, yet he couldn't imagine Lasher or Blue Willow condemning Osprey, no matter the laws of the wolf. "I'm sure things will settle in time," he added hopefully. His sister had been a part of the plateau for as long as he had—longer now, truthfully—and that would have to count for something.
He wasn't glad to hear about the babes sucking the life from her, nor Osprey's ominous comment about not reaching the finish line. His mouth opened and closed as Peregrine struggled to find his words. He wanted to grasp her in another hug. He refrained, letting her finish. By the time she did, his emotions were threatening to spill over despite his valiant efforts not to overreact to the situation.
"Okay, fuck your selflessness and your logic. You're my sister. I love you, unconditionally. You're right, I can't do a whole lot that's meaningful. I'm not a Healer. But offering you my love and support doesn't take away from me, my family or my life, Osprey. My love is not a finite resource. Besides, I get to decide what I live for, what I think is fair." He spoke softly but vehemently, eyes finding and never leaving hers. "What's done is done anyway. You can't un-ring the bell. I know and nothing will stop me from worrying, even if you ask me to leave."
He let those words hang in the air, giving her the opportunity to tell him if that's what she really wanted. Peregrine tried to decide whether he would respect her wishes or insist on being there for her. He would have to return to the caldera, of course, and couldn't hover over her until the birth. He hadn't felt particularly helpless until this very moment, as that realization dawned on him. There really was nothing he could do in this situation and that frustrated and crushed him.
"What can I do to help? Whether it's leaving you alone or hunting for you or visiting every day... just tell me. Whatever it is, I'll do it."
RE: Unconditional - Osprey - April 03, 2015
Peregrine spoke from his heart and Osprey felt moved by the way he discarded her "selflesness and logic", how he declared, how much he loved her and that it would never change no matter the circumstances. It brought back memories - one by one - of all the similar ocasions, when either he or her had said the same things. When feeling down and sad, when lacking confidence, when standing before important, life-changing decisions, when feeling afraid.
Then there they were, small kids again that had snuck out in the forest during the nighttime and got hopelessly lost. And there was little Osprey, timid, whiny and unhappy, and there was Peregrine telling her that they had to find the dragon that would take them home eventually. How odd that several years later they were in the same situation again, yet everything was so much more complicated. When had life become this difficult? It was odd to look back and think that once the only thing you had to fear was MO or Aether's disapproval.
"Let's... let's find a dragon," she told him her voice thick with emotions. "And... and when we do, all will be fine again," she looked him in the eyes, pleading him to make her believe that everything would good in the end. There was not much he could help her now, but maybe he alone could give her hope again. Just the same way he had all those years ago.
ooc: this is not the ending - I would love to continue.
RE: Unconditional - Peregrine Redhawk - April 03, 2015
Her response caught him off guard. If ever there was a time where Osprey needed to be serious and face grim reality with her head up and shoulders squared, this was it. Instead, she wanted to retreat into a fantasy land. Peregrine felt decidedly torn. Should he refuse, insisting she stop running away from reality, since there was no escape? Or should he humor her, giving her a brief reprieve from what was clearly the worst situation in her entire life? What was she really asking him anyway? Was the dragon meant to be metaphorical?
The black wolf took a breath, hesitated, then said, "Osprey..." He paused, then continued as if reading her mind. "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end." Another pause. "You know I don't mind hunting dragons with you." There was a but... implied in there, yet Peregrine didn't voice it. He motioned for Osprey to take the lead. If this was really what she wanted to do, he would honor her request, just like he'd vowed.
RE: Unconditional - Osprey - April 03, 2015
There had been so many people that had told Osprey to stop running from her problems, but what they failed to realize that this was not always the case. It was her way of coping, when things got too hard to bear. This was the worst situation she had ever been into and all these weeks she had faced it head on, feeling glad at the end of the day that she had endured. She had not felt brave though... more like a person, who had accepted a defeat, and with the gaze fixed straight ahead, tried not to see or feel the humiliation.
Peregrine did not understand, what she wanted from hin in the beginning, and she sensed that, when he reassured her that everything was going to be alright in the end. All stories had to have their happy endings, but "happiness" could be defined in so many ways. She kept this to herself though, she didn't feel that convinced, but he did not have to know that. For his sake... she would try to believe. Make an effort at least. "I am sorry, but I am a bit cursed at the moment, therefore... we will have to dragonhunt without leaving the spot," she told him, lying down. "Say... if the dragon flew to the caldera... what would he see there... now?" Osprey looked at him, encouraging to tell everything that was new in Peregrine's home.
RE: Unconditional - Peregrine Redhawk - April 03, 2015
As much as he wanted to be there for his sister, he felt alarmed when Osprey told him she was too tired to actually go anywhere and instead sank to the ground. She had mentioned that she might not make it and she looked terrible, yet Peregrine had refused to entertain the thought that anything was seriously amiss until this very moment. He looked down at her, suddenly horrified. Was she dying? Was the pregnancy actually killing her? Feeling suddenly hollow, he sank down beside her.
"Osprey," he said in a quiet, frightened voice. "If you're too tired to hunt dragons, something's really wrong," he said, trying to smile. But the joke fell flat, as did his expression. "How much longer do you think you have? You can make it, Oss." He refused to consider the alternative, that his sister could lose her life to this unintended pregnancy. Surely she just looked this way and felt so tired because of the emotional drain on top of the physical one. The puppies couldn't actually be killing her...
"He would see the land of a ruler who's having a hard time focusing on stories," Peregrine said weakly. "If he flew over these wilds, he would see a shit load of wolves who care about you, who are worried and who hope you power through this..."
RE: Unconditional - Osprey - April 03, 2015
"Calm down, silly," Osprey bumped her head lightly against Peregrine's neck. There was a level of acceptable worry, but, when it got beyond that... it was a little funny in a twisted way, but gave her rush of fresh enthusiasm, which was a very welcome change. "You speak of me, as if I was lying in my grave already," some graveyard humor probably was not the right choice for this moment. "I look awful and sometimes feel... far from well," she decided to put things milder than they were, "but I can't run around as I used to with the extra burden I have to take everywhere with me. I am tired - yes, but at the moment... there is nothing more to it." He, who had his wife pregnant not that long time ago, had to at least have an idea, how it was.
She positioned herself then so to have her head rest on his back and closed her eyes. "I have not been able to be outside the pack borders too often," she spoke then, "so - do me a favor - go on with the story. The part about people caring for one rag doll of a wolf named Osprey was really nice. What's else there for the dragon to see?"
RE: Unconditional - Peregrine Redhawk - April 08, 2015
When she tried to reassure him, Peregrine gave Osprey a suspicious look. Was she downplaying the matter as less serious than it really was... or did she just look way worse than she felt? After a long moment, he decided his only option was to believe her. The way he looked at her said it all: I trust you. And as her brother, he naturally clung to the idea that it was nothing worse than exhaustion. All things considered, Osprey had gotten off lightly by the sound of it.
When she rested her head on his back, Peregrine shifted to make sure she was comfortable. She closed her eyes but did not sleep, instead asking for more details about the dragon in his story. His heart still wasn't really in it—and he'd never been as good of a storyteller as his sister anyway—but for her, he would try.
"Um, I imagine he'd see the caldera and think to himself that it was a great pot for making soup. He'd find a bunch of ingredients—trees and bushes for their fiber, entire herds of deer for their protein—and toss it in the pot. Then he'd breathe fire to its base to heat up the soup. I bet a nice bowl of stew would do you wonders right now," Peregrine mused, his nose grazing the top of Osprey's silver head.
RE: Unconditional - Osprey - April 09, 2015
Caldera as a cooking pot... Osprey smiled to herself, wondering, why hadn't she come up with it herself, when she had been there. It was so obvious after all. While Perry thought that he was not that good at story-telling, he knew, how to make stories he wove interesting and unusual. Like the last time - the tale itself was impossible in many aspects, but it held a great deal of traits that no classic one did. Fresh and original. The thought of a bowl of soup - whatever it was - was nice too. She would not mind having something to eat. Especially, if a dragon had made it specifically for her.
"You will have to take me up there one day... to that cooking pot," Osprey lifted her head and looked at Peregrine with sleepy eyes. Then she sighed and rested it at the same spot. Her brother was great in many things - and it turned out that he was a good cushion too. With the added value of being constantly warm and very much alive. "Thanks," she yawned, feeling, how tiredness took over her body, and knowing that she would not be able to follow the tale any further without falling asleep. "Stay here, for a while, ok?" she mumbled, making herself comfortable and preparing for a nap.
ooc: hey, thanks for the thread - maybe you can fade it out in your next post. I promise you another one right after Osprey has given birth and has recovered. Is it safe for me to assume that this was Peregrine's only visit? Because timewise it has taken place 7 days ago and the whelping is about to take place very soon.
RE: Unconditional - Peregrine Redhawk - April 09, 2015
It was a good'un. I'll archive this and look forward to our next thread! And, yes, that assumption is perfectly fine. :)
"You've been there before," Peregrine reminded her gently, attributing her lapse to her exhaustion. The sleepy look she gave him confirmed this. "Sleep, you," he said in a soft but firm voice. "I'll be here as long as you need," he promised, gingerly pushing her head back onto its resting place on his shoulder, then running his tongue between her ears in slow, comforting strokes. Osprey needed to rest and he was in no rush to leave her.